Akame, Tatsumi, Esdeath, Wave and Kurome were travelling together since they had left Joyou.
Their objective was simple : live their lives as couples as they wished to.
Tatsumi, Akame and Esdeath had came to an agreement. Even if the New Kingdom was slowly re-building itself and promulgating new laws, Esdeath was still actively wanted by the Army as well as Akame.
They were sure that Ran, whom they met in Joyou again, was not going to betray or sold them.
However, since their attack on the Capital with Esdeath's battalion, an army of soldiers and bounty hunters were running all over the country, hoping to neutralize the Strongest of the former Empire. Akame too had a bounty of her head for her participation to the raid.
As living in the New Kingdom under these circumstances would mean change locations every month or so, they decided to move to the other side of the sea, far away.
In order to do so, they needed a boat, which was why they travelled to the east, leaded by Wave who knew every town near the sea thanks to his years spent in the Imperial Navy.
Kurome and Wave, who were assumed dead, were not wanted like Esdeath or Akame. They did not have to flee nor hide, and did not know exactly where they wanted to head.
Therefore, they decided to accompany their friends until they found a boat then decide if they'd join them or part away.
"Are we coming closer, at least?" whined Tatsumi.
The sunset was not so far way now, and little by little, the light was decreasing.
"Of course, don't ya smell that perfumed and salty air? The sea…that's the sea's scent, buddy!" cheerfully answered Wave.
"Wave, yesterday, it smelled the same way. You smell the same way. Forgive me if I don't believe you."
"He's right", said Kurome. "You smell the sea. When went to bed last night, I couldn't tell if it was the air or you who smelled the most."
"Stop badmouthing me!"
It had been days since they had supposedly entered the coastal region, but they had barely met people or villages.
According to Wave, it was because there wasn't a lot of farmers in this land, though it was fertile ; most of the people were fishermen or merchants in the towns. They did not need to grow cereals since they just traded if for fish or money to the ships coming in the ports.
Sleeping outdoors did not bother them as they had tents and camping materials. They were all used to the wild life and enjoyed it since the weather was clement. The only issue they had was that Tatsumi, Esdeath and Akame's tent was very noisy at night, as the two women were battling over to get Tatsumi.
At the end of the rope, Tatsumi finally established a rule : they would sleep under the same roof, but he would spend one night with Akame and one night with Esdeath alternatively not to make any jealous. At first, they protested, but since they refused the threesome, it was the only solution.
They were climbing a grassed hill which protected them from the wind during the ascension. Since they reached the region, the breeze coming from the sea did not ever stop.
Wave reached the hilltop first.
"Ha! Come here and tell me we're not getting closer!" he proudly exclaimed.
The others joined him and admired the sight below, two miles away from their position.
They saw a large city with strong stone walls and its own roadstead full of ships. From the height, they also noticed the streets swarming of people and the numerous carts full of goods coming and leaving the city, causing a traffic jam at the unique gate.
"Hmm, I can't wait to rest in a true bed", Tatsumi said while stretching his body.
"I don't recommend Kaiko's beds", Wave interjected with a wince. "They're full of fleas, believe me…"
Tatsumi winced too but Akame gave Wave an interrogative look.
"Kaiko?"
"Yes. This is this city's name. Kaiko, the third most important sea town of the country. Strong walls, strong gate, strong garrison. Almost impregnable."
"What do you mean?" asked Tatsumi. "It doesn't look so strong to me…"
Esdeath spoke up, taking in charge the explanations.
"With conventional means, Wave is right. Attacking directly the walls and the gate would be doable but only with siege engines and a great army of soldiers, given the losses you'd suffer. You could also split the defenders with an attack on the waterfront at the same time but that would require ships."
"Now that you talk about it, I recall the assault on the Capital…my bad."
"Trying to reduce it by hunger would be even worse. You'd need a gigantic amount of soldiers to completely surround the place, and even more ships to intercept whoever would try to supply the town by sea. And even with all these means, the defenders can simply fish from the harbor."
"We're not here to attack it, so that's okay, I guess…"
"To return on the main topic, I don't want my clothes to be infested with fleas", Akame declared. "Are we all okay to sleep under the night sky again?"
As there was no objection, they decided to set up the camp on the hilltop. This way, they could keep an eye on their surroundings. Even if their party was powerful enough to destroy an army –Esdeath could do that alone though–, they had been attacked several times by bandits.
If those attacks did not hurt them in any way, it was a good recall that the country was not safe…
"Alright, Wave and I will make some shopping in town before the shops close" announced Tatsumi.
"Better hurry, y'know, they close the gate when night falls", warned Wave.
"Hm, I wonder if I should join you", Akame pondered. "I would like to get some new clothes…"
Besides Tatsumi –who had lost his clothes during the Tyrant episode and replaced them with a farmer attire–, they were all wearing the same outfit as ever. The girls had some light clothes but preferred their usual clothes to travel ; even Esdeath, against Tatsumi's warnings, was wearing her former uniform.
"That's a good idea. Why don't we all go together?" suggested Kurome.
"No!" exclaimed Tatsumi and Wave in unison.
Surprised by their reaction, the girls frowned.
"Why is that?" suspiciously asked Esdeath, with Akame backing up her question.
"Errm…this…because…"
Tatsumi, uneasy under his lovers' glares, had troubles to find his words.
"Because…we need you to set up the camp! That's it! Later!"
Without further explanation, he ran away in direction of the town.
"He-he's right! That's it! See ya!"
"Wait, if you're going inside, bring me back sweets!" said Kurome.
"Awright!"
Wave speeded up to catch up with Tatsumi, leaving Kurome, Esdeath and Akame aghast.
"…is it me, or are they hiding something?" whispered Kurome.
Akame shrugged.
"Something's up, but…it's not like we're gonna chase them, right?"
"Well, I don't think Tatsumi would hide anything from me", Esdeath declared with confidence. "And if he does…I'll question him until he spits the truth. But they're right, we need to set up the camp."
Eventually, Wave managed to catch up with Tatsumi.
"Hey! Don't do that again!" he scolded him as they both slowed their pace.
"Sorry, that was an emergency. You would've done the same, don't lie to me!"
"…true. Alright, ya win."
"You got the money?" asked Tatsumi as they were drawing closer from the town.
Wave palpated his pocket.
"Yep. At first, I wasn't very fond of robbing the bandits' corpses, but it would've been a waste to leave that gold there..."
As they had searched the dead bodies of the bandits who attacked them, they had found a pretty sum of gold.
Tatsumi sighed of relief.
"Do you know the city well?"
"Last time I visited it, I was still a simple soldier. Things have surely changed, but I know where the commercial districts are located."
"Nice!"
When they reached the main gate –a monstrous thing made of cold iron and timbers which only enough space to let pass one cart at a time–, they noted that there were two lines. One for the carts, one for the people, and both were methodically searched by the guards.
The banners on the walls were the Revolutionary Army's ones : red flags with black crosses.
Kaiko was far away from the main conflicts that ravaged the Empire and thus had not been affected by the combats. Of course, it was an important port and a potential target, which explained why it was fortified.
However, as it suffered from the heavy taxations of the Empire, it almost immediately betrayed it when the hostilities began, raising the Revolutionary Army's flag and stopping its shipments of supplies and gold to the Capital.
Most of the merchandises came by sea to Kaiko and was then sent by land with convoys to the Capital. This defection cut off a part of the war supplies needed by the Imperial Army.
Even if Kaiko declared to be affiliated to the New Kingdom, the latter's grip on the city was fragile because of its distance.
Finally, Tatsumi and Wave's turns came. Three guards searched them.
"Nothing illicit on them, captain", said one of the guards to the high graded when they finished.
"I see."
The captain, a forty year old man with a great mustache, turned to Wave.
"Sir, no weapons are allowed in town. Would you please give me your sword? We'll return it back to you when you will exit Kaiko."
"Hm, if ya take our weapons here, what if we want to take a boat? How do we reclaim them?"
"Don't worry. The port is not inside the city, we have an outpost near it so you just have to ask for your weapons when you exit it. Now, your sword, please."
Unwillingly, Wave handed over Grand Chariot. He didn't like the idea to entrust his Teigu to a stranger, but there were little chances that a simple soldier would recognize it as a Teigu, and moreover able to activate it.
"Strange shape for a sword" noticed the captain when he passed it to one of his subordinates. "Store it in the warehouse number two", he ordered.
He wrote a reference on a piece of paper, signed it and gave it to Wave.
"Present this to the guards when you get out to retrieve your sword. By the way sir, what brings you to Kaiko?"
"We're here to buy some goods. We want to have it done before night and before ya close the gate…no offense intended, but we're in a hurry."
"None taken, sir. In that case, I wish you good luck in your business. Oh, one last thing : do not cause any trouble. We got a nickname for anyone who trifles with us guards here in Kaiko – "Suicide"."
(Is he joking or trying to sound impressive?) Tatsumi thought, who was not saying anything.
"Copy that", answered Wave.
"That guy was soooo trying to act cool!" Tatsumi laughed some streets further. "How can you stay like a statue before that dude when you can mock Esdeath?"
"Y'know, Tatsumi, even if the General's scary, I got the feeling she won't seriously hurt me if I mock her. But these guys…if we mess with them, they'll order our deaths like that", he said while snapping his fingers.
"Mmh, now that you mention it, I think I get it…me too, I know that she won't hurt me."
"That doesn't count, since you're her lover. And you're wrong, she almost killed ya once…"
"You're right…forget about it."
Even if night drew closer, the streets were still crowded : seamen, dockers, merchants, guards and even families and kids.
There were multiple food stalls proposing tons of dishes, with a net predilection for sea products.
"I'm glad we didn't bring Akame here…she would've emptied every booth", Tatsumi smiled.
"And our purse by the same occasion", commented Wave. "With the control at the entrance, I must say I didn't expect that kind of atmosphere here…people are truly happy and live peacefully. Probably thanks to the commerce and the sea. Sea towns are the best!"
Wave had spent a great part of his life in the Imperial Navy. Even if joining the Jaegers allowed him to live tons of adventures and to meet his love, Kurome, he missed the sea.
"When I think about it, we didn't have much time alone to talk", Wave said. "Because of that, I didn't have the occasion to tell ya…y'are nuts."
"What was that for?!" whined Tatsumi as he dodged a docker.
"Pal, if y'ask me…both Akame and the General are very dangerous as girlfriends. I mean, picking one of them's cheeky…but both? Plus, they can't get along...and imagine what your children will look like! Mini serial-killers!"
"…don't talk about that, please…"
Wave was half joking, but he noticed Tatsumi's gloomy face. Something was up.
"Ya okay? Don't take it too seriously, I mean…"
"No, you're right, I wonder too what our children will look like. If they have the tempers of their mothers, it'll be a pain in the ass to raise them."
"Aaaah, I'm sorry, I didn't want to spoil the mood. I didn't know ya wanted to have children for real. It was only a bad joke."
"Well…concerning the fact of wanting them, it's not like I have a choice…"
Wave laughed loudly
"Sure thing, if they want ya to make babies, ya won't be able to say no!"
As he laughed, he realized there was another meaning to Tatsumi's last sentence. His laughter suddenly stopped.
"…when ya say you don't have a choice…ya don't mean …"
Tatsumi nodded.
"…both of them?"
Tatsumi nodded again.
Wave, aghast, stopped walking, trying to get a grip on himself.
"Y'are telling me that…ya managed to impregnate the two most dangerous women in the world?"
"Uh…yeah", Tatsumi confessed, embarrassed.
"Holy crap!" Wave exclaimed, attracting attention of the other people in the street. "Holy, holy, holy crap! But how?!"
"What do you think we're doing at night? They are more savages than Danger Beasts!" Tatsumi said, half complaining, half smiling.
None of them noticed it, but everyone in the street was now listening to their conversation.
"But…still…I mean, y'are doing it that often?"
"Why the hell do you think I established that "one per night" rule?! The first week, as they were both on me, I barely slept at all! They sucked me dry every night! Akame eventually fell asleep, but not Esdeath! She's so violent that I had difficulties to walk every morning!"
Suddenly, a mother carrying a child with her left arm and holding the hand of her daughter barged in.
"You should be ashamed to hold that kind of talking in public and in front of children!" she scolded them.
It was only at this moment Tatsumi and Wave realized that at least thirty strangers were watching them.
"I'm very sorry", apologized Tatsumi. "We better hurry before the shops close", he told Wave.
"Ya right."
They forced their way through the crowd as the peoples were still laughing.
"I'd like ya to introduce me to yer girl, see if she could suck me dry too!" cried a drunk sailor.
(Be thankful I don't grant your request, you wouldn't survive), Tatsumi thought.
"There should be jewelries in that shopping street" said Wave, pointing a commercial district with his finger."
"Looks like they're all open. You sure we will have enough money?"
"Trust me. With the money we have, we could buy five of each."
Meanwhile, on the hilltop, Akame and Esdeath were busy to set up the tents. Kurome was looking for combustible, in order to fuel the campfire. This task was quite a pain since there was no real forest around.
After that, they prepared the dinner and made sure there would be plenty of it for all of them.
As they had done it many times before, they achieved it quite quickly and soon found themselves talking, sat in the grass and admiring the night fall.
Tatsumi and Wave were not back yet, but they did not worry about them.
"So, Kurome, now that we're talking between girls, tell me, what do you plan to do with Wave?" asked Esdeath, crossing her long legs and playing with her cap.
Kurome tilted her head.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we will likely part away when we will take a ship to cross the sea, unless you want to come with us. But I don't feel you will do so. Do you have any idea, somewhere you want to go?"
"Mmh…not really. If I'm with Wave, it'll be fine, I guess."
"Aaaah, so pure and innocent…" sighed Esdeath.
"Don't you dare put any dirty ideas in my little sister's head", frowned Akame.
"Big sis'…how can I say…you're one to talk…"
"What? How?!" exclaimed Akame.
Kurome pondered.
"As you know, whenever we camp, our tents are close. And…every night, one of you is doing dirty things with Tatsumi."
Akame blushed, while Esdeath smiled, amused.
"W-what's your point?"
"Big sis', when it's the General's turn, Tatsumi is the one screaming. But…when it's yours…you scream louder than Tatsumi does. Plus, you cry things like "Faster faster faster!" or "I'm cumming!", or "Inside do it inside!". So, basically, I learnt many dirty things because of you…"
Esdeath burst into laughter and Akame's blush aggravated if possible.
"She got you", Esdeath said, wiping the tears she shred out of laugh.
"Kurome…" mumbled Akame, still red as a tomato.
Kurome suddenly felt she needed to change the subject.
"And you two, you have any plan with Tatsumi besides crossing the sea?"
Akame coughed several times, trying to dissipate her blushing. Above all, Esdeath's grin was unbearable.
"We don't have a precise idea for now, but we'd like to travel."
"Adventures and sex with the one you love, how could you ask for more?" smiled Esdeath.
"I told you to stop this!" Akame growled.
"What? I didn't hear you, Miss Faster faster faster", smirked Esdeath.
"Why, you…"
At the same moment, Tatsumi and Wave arrived at the hilltop. They were carrying several bags of supplies.
"What's up?" asked Wave. "Here, Kurome, I get you an assortment of sweets!"
Kurome rushed into him to get her candies. He gave them to her and patted her head, making her smile.
"Akame, are you okay? You're all red", worried Tatsumi.
"Nmmh…nothing…" she replied, slightly embarrassed.
"Okay…so, what did you prepare for dinner?"
"Meat", Akame answered right away.
"Of course", sighed Tatsumi. "At least, we bought some fresh fruits to improve the meal. Oh, and we also got new blankets."
Wave exhibited a little basket full of viscous things.
"Here, have some sea food! Don't they look like pretty and nice?"
"If you want to eat that, go ahead but don't involve us", firmly declared Tatsumi. "I feel nauseous only by looking at these tentacles…"
"It smells", complained Akame.
"Wave, not so long ago, I would've borrowed you these poisons for torture", Esdeath added.
"One day, you will acknowledge the true power of seafood!"
During the meal –Wave ate his seafood alone–, the boys related to the girls what they learnt in Kaiko.
All the sailors and travelers agreed to say that the New Kingdom was slowly stabilizing itself, but the other countries were nervous about how things turned.
Most of them were mobilizing their army, but for different reasons depending on who told the story and what you chose to believe.
"The merchants fear that the countries spared by the war would launch a preventive strike just to ensure their safety" explained Tatsumi once sated.
"That does not surprise me", Esdeath said. "The aggressive behavior of the Empire is now playing against itself…"
"Said the one who leaded its armies", mumbled Akame.
Esdeath ignored her.
"I think at least some countries will try to attack the New Kingdom just because it is actually not strong as the Empire was…and don't forget that it possesses Teigus. The other nations pursue them to increase their military power…"
"Maybe, but this is not of our concern anymore", Akame declared. "We –and it doesn't include you, Esdeath– fought for this new country to be born. We destroyed the roots that entangled it. We played our role. "
Silent fell upon them as they remembered their losses.
Tatsumi exchanged a glance with Wave who nodded. It was the moment to act as the mood was somewhat downhearted.
Both of them discreetly pulled out little boxes from their pockets. And, at the same time…
Tatsumi kneeled down before Esdeath and Akame, handed them two little boxes he opened with his thumbnails.
Wave kneeled down before Kurome and handed her a little box he opened with his other hand.
And together, they asked to their loved ones :
"Will you marry me?"
Astonished, Akame, Kurome and Esdeath only managed to stare at the things inside the boxes Tatsumi and Wave presented them.
Akame saw a golden wedding ring. As she wasn't used to jewelries, she did not apprehend how beautiful it was. What shook her heart was the stone set on the top of the ring : a beautiful ruby, red as her eyes. When she understood why Tatsumi picked this one for her, tears ran down her cheeks.
Esdeath was staring at the stone Tatsumi chose for her ring : an aquamarine, with the same light blue as her hair and eyes. The woman once called the Ice Queen felt her heart melting before that special attention.
And for Kurome, Wave had found an onyx ring, which like the others corresponded to her eyes : a deep, yet somehow warming black.
The girls were so much touched they couldn't move nor talk for minutes. Eventually, Tatsumi raised his head and timidly asked :
"Hem…could you…answer? Otherwise I feel I will die of old age here…"
"Same here", added Wave.
Kurome stepped forward, took his head with her hands and kissed him for a so long time he thought he was going to suffocate.
Akame and Esdeath literally jumped on Tatsumi, hugging him and kissing him at the same time –and crying in Akame's case–.
"I love you, I love you, I love you so much Tatsumiiiiiii ~"
"Tatsumi! Tatsumiiiii!..."
They rejoiced for several minutes, and when they stopped, they were exhausted, happy and deeply affected.
Esdeath, Kurome and Akame looked each other with genuine smiles and answered at the same time :
"Yes!"
Then, they kissed and hugged their beloved ones again.
When Tatsumi get back on his feet, Akame seemed to remember something.
"Hem…Tatsumi…is it…legal to marry two women?"
"Eh? Probably. I don't care if it is, since we'll make a private ceremony. Everything is already arranged", he smiled.
"So that's why you didn't want us to come in Kaiko with you", Esdeath understood. "You see, I was right to trust him!" she told to Akame.
"Oh, by the way, congratulations for the babies!" Wave said.
"What?" Kurome was puzzled.
"So you did tell him", sighed Esdeath. "We were planning to announce it in a few days to surprise you, but Tatsumi ruined it, so I guess it can't be helped."
Akame, uneasy, avoided Kurome's glare.
"Hmm…the thing is…we're both pregnant."
"Pregnant? You mean…you're gonna have babies?" Kurome asked.
"Basically, yes…"
"Wow…that's…that's… Congratulations, big sis', General! You too, Tatsumi!"
"Thanks…"
"Thank you, Kurome."
Kurome approached her lips from Wave's ear.
"Tatsumi played well, he managed to hand the rings at the same time to big sis' and the General. I'm sure one of them would've been jealous if he proposed to one after another…"
Wave laughed.
"You're totally right. Even if they agreed to share him, they want to be his best girl."
"As long as they don't fight, it's fine I guess. But, I have a question…"
"Yes?"
"He managed to hand the rings at the same time…but what will he do for the kiss, at the wedding ceremony? Who will he kiss first?"
Sadly, her voice was not low enough. Due to their sharp senses, both Esdeath and Akame heard her and thus turned to Tatsumi.
"It will be me of course, right?!" they exclaimed.
Tatsumi, powerless under his two future brides' glares, slowly stepped back. He inadvertently walked on the campfire.
"Wow! Hmm…it's…well…"
"Answer!"
"…"
Tatsumi's silence did not end the dispute.
"Obviously, I shall be the first", Esdeath declared. "I had Tatsumi's first kiss, it's only natural for me to get the first for the marriage."
"No way! I'll be the one to get it! This is far too symbolic for a lusted perv' like you!" flared Akame.
"Oh? And why should it be you, can you tell me?"
"B-because…because Tatsumi prefers me to you!"
"Nonsense. Tatsumi said he loved both of us equally. And even if he had a preference, it's pretty obvious he'd prefer me."
"How can you know that?!"
"I know it, that's all. We're linked by fate and love."
As Akame and Esdeath were battling, Wave gave Tatsumi an interrogative look.
"Ya will not stop them?"
"Nope. If I barge in, they will ask me to settle this, and I can't…"
"You have under your eyes the proof that having a harem is dangerous…especially with these two."
"Well, I'm worn out. I'll go to bed first. I hope I'll get some sleep before one of them wakes me up…I don't even know whose turn it is today."
"Listen to that poor man who is woken up by a different girl each night…" mocked Wave.
Tatsumi smiled and took the direction of his tent. Wave stretched his arms. Kurome came at his side and used his knees as a pillow. He caressed her hair as she closed her eyes.
(She looks like a kitty, looking from here), Wave thought.
Some distance away, over the dying campfire, Akame and Esdeath were still loudly arguing.
(I have to find something to calm them down. Oh…wait…I might have a funny idea…)
"General! Akame!" he called several times until they noticed him. "Perhaps I've the solution to yer quarrel."
Esdeath and Akame exchanged a defiant glare.
"Go on", urged Esdeath.
"Okay. Listen to me…"
Tatsumi woke up, dizzy, in the darkness of the night.
(Need to pee…)
His eyes half closed, Tatsumi managed to exit the tent. He relieved himself outside the camp and as he was about to return to the tent, he noticed one thing.
Neither Akame nor Esdeath did wake him up…and none of them was in the tent. Something was wrong.
He was about to call for someone, but…
A quick shadow which only left air behind it.
A pressure at the base of his neck.
Tatsumi wanted to cry, but he only managed to produce a weak moan.
"Nggh…"
His eyes closed, his legs betrayed him and ceased to think.
When Tatsumi awoke, he had difficulties to understand that he was actually awake because he couldn't move, he couldn't see.
(What the…I'm restrained?)
He shook his head and little by little, his senses came back to him.
(Let's recap…I'm on a chair, in closed room since I d(on't feel fresh air. My arms are tired behind my back, my legs to the chair and I'm blindfolded. Is it one of Esdeath's bdsm games?! At least I'm not gagged… Wait, maybe it's not Esdeath? Maybe someone else did capture me, but why?)
"Heyy! Someone's here?!" he called out. "Heeelp!"
Some moments later, he heard footsteps. Someone gently removed his blindfold.
When his eyes get used to the ambient light, he looked around and wondered if he was not still dreaming.
He was in a large wooden room, and right in front of him, a large table like in a court of law. At his right and left sides were two other seats, empty. Other chairs and tables were piled against the walls. It looked like a cantina somebody would've arranged…
Above his head was a wooden sign ; by twisting his neck, he managed to read what was written on with a white paint.
BEST WAIFU CONTEST
(What the hell…)
Finally, he recognized the person who was facing him.
"Kurome?! What's going on?! What happened tonight? Untie me!"
Kurome, who did not look like panicked nor worried, raised a finger.
"Only if you promise me not to move after that."
"Why?! What's going on?!"
"Can't tell you. But if you move, they will be very angry, trust me."
By "they", it was obvious she was mentioning Akame and Esdeath. He had no choice.
"Okay…but where is Wave?"
"He's on his way", answered Kurome as she started to untie him.
Wave arrived right when Kurome removed the last rope that was restraining Tatsumi. He was wearing a sneaky smile on his face and looked very amused.
"Yo! 'Morning, Tatsumi, ya slept well?"
"I get knocked out and kidnapped as I was out to take a piss, so I can't tell…what on earth is going on here, will you answer me?! And what time is it? Where are we?!"
"Easy, easy. It's past twelve, and we're in an inn we rent for the day. We just pulled off all the furniture to make place, that's all."
"You did that?!" exclaimed Tatsumi while pointing at the sign.
"Hm, yes. And to answer…it's as the sign says, we're holding a contest to decide who would be the best wife for ya! That'll settle the combat between Akame and the General. Oh, I didn't ya, the prize is the first kiss for the wedding ceremony."
Tatsumi felt his heartbeat go faster.
"You…decided all of this without telling me?!"
"Of course. I'm sure ya would've declined."
"And that's why you knocked me off last night?!"
"C'mon, the General says she did it perfectly. She only pressed yer artery to make ya sleep, so no sequel at all except at little headache."
Even if he had some troubles to accept the situation, Tatsumi breathed in and out to calm himself.
(I'm in whether I want it or no…)
"…fine. But, Wave. One thing."
"Yeah?"
"You misspelled wife. It's w-i-f-e, not w-a-i-f-u."
"You sure? But I'm certain some people spell it waifu!"
"It's not like you can't change it now, so…"
"Ya right. Mmh, it should be about time now, I'll make sure the contestants are ready. Be right back!"
That being said, he walked to a door at the other side of the room.
"C'mon, please give a round of applause to the two participants!" Wave said.
As Tatsumi and Kurome were the only ones in the room, the "round of applause" didn't give an impressive vibe.
Exhibiting her colors, Akame made her entrance wearing a black kimono with red ribbons. Her long and silky hair, brushed with caring, cascaded on her shoulders. More than ever, she looked like a highborn princess. Her slight blushing was also a part of her charm.
(She…is…so…beautiful…) Tatsumi thought, finding himself drooling.
And when Esdeath came in, he almost fell of his chair : she was only wearing a white apron.
(So this is the famous naked apron!)
"Stop right there!" Wave cried. "Too lewd!"
"Wave's right, General", approved Kurome. "You have to change it!"
"Tch! How in the world?!" protested Esdeath.
"The jury decision is absolute! Change your clothes–no, put some clothes on or we'll disqualify you!"
Rumbling and grunting, Esdeath returned from where she came. When she entered the room again, she had her General uniform on.
"Why do you wear that?" asked Kurome, puzzled.
"It suits perfectly the situation… Yes, this is not a contest, it's a battlefield!"
"Mmkay. Well, to the important thing", Wave said. "As ya both know, this is a contest to determine who's the best potential wife for Tatsumi!"
Akame and Esdeath's glares were burning.
Kurome spoke.
"Don't worry, whatever happens, Tatsumi will marry you both, and I'm sure he thinks you both are wonderful. This is a settlement between you two…and the winner will earn the first kiss for the wedding ceremony this evening!"
(Why is the atmosphere so tense?) Tatsumi thought.
"Now, let me explain the rules. There will be four questions a real wife should be able to answer and one practical test. Whoever wins three of the five rounds is the winner!"
Wave and Kurome joined Tatsumi on the chairs next to him.
"We three will be the jury. So, basically, to win a round, you have to convince at least two of us that your answer is the best!"
Tatsumi called out.
"Erm, since I'm the one who will marry them, why am I not the only jury?"
Kurome sighed.
"Because you are too kind and too considerate. You won't be able to choose one between them two…"
"Oh…"
Wave hit the table with his fist.
"So, let us begin with the practical test, the cooking round! A good wife must be able to regale her husband. You've got two hours to cook in the inn's kitchen a dish that'll please us! Just a recall : ya don't have the permission to bother yer rival! Go!"
Esdeath and Akame rushed to the door.
Minutes later, Wave, Kurome and Tatsumi heard scary noises : breathe of intense flames, shocks of knives and cleavers, steam whistles…
Tatsumi turned to Wave, slightly worried.
"Hem…you sure this is not dangerous? What I hear fills me with fear…"
"No problem. They both know how to cook, y'know. And even if they prepare something poisonous…they'll insist for ya to be the first to taste, so Kurome and I are safe, bwa ha ha ha!"
"Bastard…"
(I can only wait for the result…wait and pray…)
"I'll be first" Akame announced as she get out of the kitchen and dressed the table for her tasters.
An indescribable odour found its way to Tatsumi's nose as Akame had opened the door. He couldn't tell precisely what it was, but it smelled like…meat.
Akame went and came, this time carrying what, at first sight, Tatsumi thought was a circular shield because of its size.
When she arrived at the table, he realized his mistake : it was just a gigantic plate…full of meat. Meat, meat, meat, meat. Meat.
"Okay, Akame…what is this…meat tower?" asked Tatsumi as she proudly served him a generous portion.
"It's my ultimate specialty, cooked with a lot of love and a lot of meat!" Akame proudly announced after serving Kurome and Wave.
"I believe you, but what's in there, exactly?"
Akame put a finger on her lips.
"Hmm, if I'm correct… Terror Bird grilled wings and thighs, Tyranoraptor grilled steaks, Dull Lion grilled kidneys, Jackaleo grilled chops and Marg Don grilled cuts. Together, they form the Ultimate Danger Beast Meat Paradise!"
Akame's eyes were full of sparkles. No doubt she was very proud of her.
(She looks so sure of herself…but…no matter how I look at it, it's just a pile of plain grilled meat…) Tatsumi thought.
He tasted it, he tasted every part, but…it was indeed grilled meat. Nothing less, nothing more. It was good, but it was not exceptional.
"So? So? It's wonderful, isn't it?" asked Akame. "The true power of meat!"
Wave and Kurome were also done tasting.
"Ahem…it's…meat. It's like everything you cooked the other times, Akame. It's grilled meat. That's all", Tatsumi clumsily declared.
"It misses fish. Grilled fish is good too, y'know?" Wave said.
"It's good, big sis', but it's…common", explained Kurome.
Despite the lack of enthusiasm of the jury, Akame still looked confident.
A voice resounded.
"Heh! As expected of you Akame. Now, cast aside your pile of meat and let me show you what cooking means", Esdeath mocked.
She has entered the room a few seconds ago and was carrying a large tureen.
"Don't think you can beat the meat power", Akame sighed.
"We'll see about that…HA!"
With a theatrical gesture, Esdeath removed the tureen's lid. An incredibly enticing odor filled the atmosphere.
Tatsumi, Kurome and Wave found themselves drooling.
Esdeath plunged a ladle in the tureen and served them. What was lying in Tatsumi's plate was some kind of creamy stew. He gulped, raised his spoon and tasted it. It seemed simple and plain, but…
(W-w-w-w-w-what is that?! Is…this…no, I need another bite…another…another…shit, I'm eating it all and I still can't understand why it's so good! I feel like my whole body and clothes are being torn apart by this deliciousness!)
Wave and Kurome were also devouring their shares as if their lives were on the line.
"Is this…poultry? But the meat is so tender in this stew, and yet, the taste is so strong! Why?!" exclaimed Wave.
Esdeath's smile enlarged.
"Fu ha ha ha ha ha! Very simple! It's true I only put the best parts of poultry in this plate for you to eat, but! I used the carcass and the meat unused to prepare a delicious chicken soup to which I added carrots, leeks and salt. I filtered it and mixed it with a bit of minced garlic, soy sauce, ginger and pepper to enhance its powerful taste!"
She paused, then resumed her show :
"I added this wonderful sauce to the baby potatoes and carrots I had prepared and let it gently boil. Then, for the meat, I cooked the poultry breasts with butter to imprison the flavor inside them, but just enough so they can stay tender and juicy. After that, I put them in the stew and covered the whole thing with parsley and grated cheese only to serve it to you! All of the ingredients perfectly fused together to give this explosion of flavors!"
"I didn't get a single word of what you said but it's freaking good!" Tatsumi smiled. "Can we have seconds?!"
"Of course, honey!"
Akame coldly observed the scene. Even her sister and Wave were joyfully eating Esdeath's stew.
She didn't understand.
(What…the power of meat…beaten?)
Esdeath called out Akame.
"You see, my dear, piling meat is not what a husband wants. He wants fine dishes cooked by a wife who uses all the ingredients she can."
(Damn this bitch!) Akame ferociously thought.
"The jury is unanimous. The General, Esdeath, wins!" Wave proclaimed.
"Obviously I do" Esdeath boasted.
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were ya, General. Ya need to win three times…and there are still four rounds."
"Hmpf. What's the next one? Bring it!"
"From now on, the trials will be…questions a wife should be able to answer. We have four questions. General, you have to win two to finish this. At the contrary, if big sis' wins three of them…" Kurome explained.
"Are you sure the cooking contest does not worth more? Practical test and theoretical ones are different!" Esdeath tried to negotiate.
"I have to admit, I didn't get how all this works…you telling me one question equals one trial, like what we just passed?" Akame asked, confused.
"Let's say each trial worth a point, right? Since the General won one, she has one point. To be the great winner, you have to get at least three points, ok?"
"Yes."
"Now, we have four questions. If your answer convinces the jury, you will get one point per question…so basically, you can still reverse the situation."
"So the first with three points wins?"
"That's it."
"And Esdeath already has one?"
"Yep."
Akame's glare sharpened.
(I won't lose! I have to persuade Tatsumi I'm the best wife he could dream of!) she thought.
Wave brought two seats for Akame and Esdeath and put them on the other side of the table, so they would be face to face with the jury.
Kurome handed a paper to Tatsumi.
"You'll be the one to announce the questions."
"Alright…so, first question."
Akame and Esdeath stiffened.
"How would you welcome your husband when he comes back home?"
Tatsumi, Akame and Esdeath looked puzzled.
"What is this question?"
"What, ya don't get it?" Wave said. "Well, imagine that Tatsumi is home after a long day. What do you do, how do you welcome him? That's clear to me!"
"I can't picture it…" Akame mumbled.
"I have the solution", calmly declared Kurome. "Let's do a simulation. Tatsumi?"
"Yes?"
"Look at the General in the eyes and say 'I'm home'."
"Okay…"
Tatsumi faced Esdeath, and…
"I'm home, Esdeath."
Esdeath thrilled as if she had received an electric shock.
"Now General, what would you do in that situation? How would you welcome him?"
Esdeath, who looked still aghast, pondered.
"…I'd jump on him, caress him, hug him, kiss him, smell him for every hour I couldn't spend with him during day."
The jury fell silent.
Then…
"I'm not surprised. That's the General for ya", Wave said.
"Yep. That's it", approved Kurome.
"Well...Akame, it's your turn", Tatsumi sighed. "What do you say?"
"Hm, could I get a simulation too?" Akame timidly asked. "Just to be in the mood…"
"Sure, why not."
Tatsumi inspired and smiled to her.
"I'm home, Akame."
Akame blushed and spoke with a soft voice :
"Welcome home, Tatsumi. Are you tired? What would you like? Your dinner? Or your bath? Or…me?"
"I'd like to have you as my dinner in my bath", Tatsumi answered immediately.
"Buddy, ya just thought out loud", Wave signaled.
"Huh…my bad. She was so cute I couldn't help it…"
"Nevermind. I think I know who ya gonna choose for this round. It's Akame, isn't it?"
"Well…yeah. I vote for Akame!"
"Yaaaay!" Akame cheered.
Esdeath looked disappointed.
"Why?!"
Kurome lectured her as a teacher would do :
"General, I understand your desire to enjoy Tatsumi after a day without seeing him, but you need to think about him too. Big sis' perfectly understood that : she proposed to Tatsumi to rest but at the same time suggested that they'd take some good time together. It was not a one-sided desire."
"Damn...I got it. Thanks for your tips, Kurome. And stop calling me General."
"Can't do that, General. It recalls me the good time we spent with the other Jaegers."
"That I can understand…" Esdeath found herself melancholic. The old good times…
(I really have changed since back then…but I don't regret it), she concluded.
"So, the actual score is : one-one! Ya ready for the next question?!"
Akame, who had regained her edge, looked like a samurai before a battle.
"Go on."
"Tatsumi, ya heard the lady? Read the second question!"
"Hm…where would you spend your honeymoon? What?"
Akame jumped off her chair.
"What kind of question is it? How is it related to being a good wife?!"
"Big sis', this contest is also about charming Tatsumi and showing him your bright side" reminded her Kurome.
"I see..."
"General, if you…General? General?!"
Esdeath, her chin resting on her hands, was drooling and blushing, her eyes lost.
"Honeymoon…I'd just have to find a soundproof and locked room…I'd have days and days to experiment painful and delightful pleasures with him…guhuhuhu…"
All of sudden, she noticed the glares directed at her.
"Yes? What was the question?" she asked.
"…you just answered it, General", Wave said, trying to hide his feelings.
"Man, whatever Akame says, I'll choose her…I don't want to be imprisoned for half a month in a basement or something!" Tatsumi whispered.
(Though I wonder what Esdeath would do to me…) he mentally said. He felt his face becoming red.
(Gah…If I keep thinking about it, I'll get a nosebleed…)
Akame raised her head.
"A honeymoon, huh? I'm not very familiar with this…but I'd like Tatsumi and me to travel to a peaceful place that would please to both of us. Like…hot springs. Yes, hot springs together…"
An image crossed Tatsumi's head : he and Akame, naked in a hot spring.
His forces left him and he collapsed on the table as a sudden blood stream popped up from his nose.
"Tatsumi?! You alright?!"
"Ghhhh…hot…springs…"
"At least, tell us who you choose for this round!"
Unable to speak, his face in his blood, he managed to raise a finger to point Akame, who smiled.
"Hm…I agree with Tatsumi. Akame's answer is most likely the one a wife would give."
"Agreed", Kurome added. "The General's one looks…painful for the husband."
(What's happening?! I was supposed to be winning! If Akame wins another one, I'm done for!) Esdeath thought. (I have to get a grip on myself…)
"Now, it's two-one in Akame's favor!" Wave announced. "Match point, eventually! Pal, read the next question!"
Tatsumi, who just stopped his nosebleed and cleared the blood on the table, read the paper Kurome handed him.
"L-let's see…third question…what?!"
"Just read."
"…you suspect that your husband is cheating on you. What do you do?"
The atmosphere became heavy as Akame and Esdeath looked at Tatsumi with scary faces.
"You would never do that, Tatsumi, right? ~" Esdeath spelled with an icy ton.
"Wait! It's just a hypothesis…no, it's a generic question! I would never do that!"
"I'd follow Tatsumi, locate the target and bury her" Akame coldly said.
Wave was shocked.
"What's with Akame? It's like her dark side has awakened!"
Kurome sighed.
"Yes, she's being overprotective…she was the same when we were kids and someone tried to get close to me."
Esdeath cleared her throat.
"Mmh…I'd just ask him if he cheats on me while checking his pulse, see if he'd lie. And if he dared to lie…I'd punish him."
The jury had some difficulties to decide. Finally…
"Hm, I'd say the General" Wave blurted.
"I don't agree entirely with her method, but yes, I'd say the General too. At least, she'd ask before doing anything…" Kurome stated.
Tatsumi tilted his head.
"I choose Esdeath as well. I mean, Akame, this does not resemble you!"
"It's your fault! You must not cheat on me!" Akame protested.
"But I didn't! It's just hypothetical!"
"Even so!..."
"So it's two-two, now…the next question will decide of the winner. Who'll win Tatsumi's first kiss for the wedding?!"
"Wave, what are you doing?" Kurome frowned.
"Eh, I just thought it'd sound cool."
"…well. Tatsumi, read the last question!"
Tatsumi looked at Esdeath and Akame who looked so concentrated he expected them to levitate.
(They are emanating an aura, or is it me?!)
With a despaired sigh, he read the last question.
"What kind of present would you offer to your husband for his birthday?"
Akame and Esdeath glared at each other.
Time froze as the two warriors were about to clash one last time. The battle would be brief but brutal, like two samurais who would exchange one decisive blow within a second.
Esdeath unsheathed her blade first.
"AS A PRESENT I'D DRESS UP MY OWN BODY WITH A RIBBON AND I'D WAIT FOR HIM IN THE BEDROOM!"
Tatsumi's imagination get carried away as he pinched his nose to prevent any bleeding.
"That's…an original present indeed" Wave flattered.
"Yes, it's surprising, but I'm sure Tatsumi would appreciate it" Kurome nodded. "Tatsumi, what do you say?"
Tatsumi, unable to speak, raised his thumb up.
(Now, big sis's, what will you do?) Kurome thought. (I know you're one of the best if not the best swordsman in the world, but did you manage to turn your love into a blade that would overcome the General's one?)
If Esdeath was the fire, burning with passion, Akame was the water, calm but unwavering.
"As a birthday present…I'd offer him a sword."
"Huh?!" exclaimed Wave, Tatsumi, Kurome and Esdeath in unison.
(I won), immediately Esdeath thought.
"Big sis'…a sword?"
Akame nodded.
"Since he has lost Incursio, Tatsumi does not have a sword. So…I'd want him to have a good one so he could protect himself better. Plus…if he'd carry a sword I'd offer him, that would mean a part of me would always be with him even if we were to be separated."
The jury was taken aback by her answer.
Eventually Wave spoke :
"I dunno 'bout ya guys, but…I vote for Akame."
"Yes. The General's gift is without a doubt pleasurable, but big sis' one is…how do I say…it is the true essence of a gift. It will forever stay with her beloved and will help him."
They turned to Tatsumi, waiting for his answer.
"I totally agree with you two. A sword offered by Akame would have a deep meaning to me…more than your body wrapped up with a ribbon, no offense", he told Esdeath.
"My body does not interest you?!" Esdeath flared.
"Of course it does, but–"
"So choose me as the winner!"
Before Esdeath could 'persuade' Tatsumi, Wave grabbed Akame's arm and raised it.
"Too late! We hereby declare Akame as the winner of the best wife contest! Her prize is…the first kiss during the wedding ceremony!"
"Tch…I lost…" Esdeath murmured, gritting her teeth.
"I never failed an assignment", Akame proudly said.
Tatsumi and Kurome gave her a round of applause.
As Esdeath looked very disappointed, Tatsumi comforted her :
"Even if Akame won, she does not cook as well as you do. You see? If only Akame was my wife, it wouldn't be complete. I need you too, Esdeath, as I told you before."
"Tatsumi…"
Esdeath, touched, felt her throat tighten.
"…I will have my revenge one day or another, I swear it. I'll show you I can overcome Akame's wife abilities!"
"Come at me whenever you want, the outcome will be the same", Akame replied.
"Yes, yes," cut Wave. "But not now. For now…we have a double wedding ceremony to attend!"
"Shit, that's right! What time is it? We have a reservation this afternoon at four!"
The day before, Tatsumi and Wave had reserved a private chapel for two wedding ceremonies. Nothing extravagant, truth to be told, but as Tatsumi, Wave and Kurome were presumed dead and Esdeath and Akame wanted by the New Kingdom, holding a great ceremony was not wise.
The priest in charge of the ceremony kinda blinked when Tatsumi came to the altar with Akame and Esdeath, but did not argue – probably because of Esdeath's glare. None of them had costumes or wedding dress excepted Akame who was still wearing her kimono, which added to the priest confusion.
For some strange reason, he wasn't used to marry a man smelling the sea, a young girl eating sweets, her sister with red eyes in kimono, a young man in farmer clothes and a gorgeous woman in uniform …
Finally, it looked like he decided to act as nothing was off.
As the priest recited the sacramental words, Esdeath and Akame's smiles grew larger and larger.
Tatsumi looked like he was dreaming. His eyes were dull, as if he didn't believe what was happening.
Wave and Kurome were observing the ceremony some steps away ; they were the witnesses, and the only public present. They were to be wed after Tatsumi's marriage.
Without a doubt, none of them imagined they could live this situation.
Tatsumi managed to exchange the rings with his wives at the same time as well as saying "yes" to them.
Finally, the priest stepped back.
"You can now kiss the…brides?"
Obviously, he expected Tatsumi to also kiss both of them.
But this time, Tatsumi turned to Akame. He came closer and whispered so low only her could hear him :
"You're both special to me. But I will never forget I confessed to you first…"
Before Akame could answer, he kissed her. Spellbound by this heavenly contact, she grabbed him by his cheeks and gave back the kiss.
"Hmm…nmmh…"
Tatsumi was trying to speak but she didn't want to hear him. She would enjoy this prize she hardly won to the last drop.
"Nmm…nmhhh!...NMMMMMHHH!"
(I don't care...I want us to stay like this forever), Akame thought.
Eventually, Tatsumi collapsed from lack of oxygen.
Tatsumi only recovered to pass out a second time when Esdeath kissed him.
Wave helped the newlywed man to get up.
"Ya okay, pal?"
"Somehow, yes…are they apnea experts or what?"
"Say, Tatsumi, I've got a question."
He made sure Akame and Esdeath were not listening.
"Despite that Akame won the contest, the General looked very happy during the ceremony. Why's that?"
"Oh…in compensation for her loss, I promised her to have the first round for our wedding night…"
"…you're not gonna get any sleep tonight, aren't you…"
Tatsumi shrugged.
"If this is the price to pay for their love. I don't know about you, but I feel I will never regret this day or the day I confessed my love towards them."
Wave laughed.
"Don't worry, I get what ya mean. And…I think that too."
"By the way, have you made your decision? Will you come with us across the sea?"
Wave bit his lip.
"I don't think so. For now, we'll take some rest in this town or near it. It's peaceful and lively here. Plus, there's the sea…maybe I'll be able to convert Kurome to seafood!"
Tatsumi sadly smiled and patted his shoulder.
"Alright. But it's not like we've already parted away. We still have some time to spent with everyone. C'mon, Wave. Now's your turn to be wed!"
"Shit, that's true!"
Author's note
The end…?
So the idea was just "a competition to determine the best wife". I mixed it with a quiz because the traditional duties of a wife (like, clean the house and other stuffs don't fit Akame and Esdeath at all).
Thanks for reading me and don't forget to check the story sequel on my page!