Summary:
Skye resumes her life as a lone wolf.
I remembered that she told Coulson, one time, when they discovered her with Miles, about a period during which she, and I quote, was 'screwed up… a lot'.
Also with Ward, she asked him if he thought she hadn't skeletons…
And all that talking about darkness inside her… Her powers are tools and tools can be used for good or for bad… they cannot be considered darkness in themselves…
So I will try to picture out what she could have intended with those words, taking inspiration from the fact that she was addicted to Hive.
I warn you: there are descriptions of drugs effects I gathered around on the Internet and I'm still sick of what I saw. I tremble in front of the effects drugs have on poor men and women and boys and girls, who literally waste their lives falling in this devilish trap! Please, you who read, keep away from those things!
Comments are greatly appreciated: please, let me know what you think!
Chapter:
Skye had only the clearness of mind to grab some money and a backpack with some personal effects before leaving the Shield base.
It was late afternoon and the sun was setting down.
She was dressed in a pair of black pants, a grey sweater and a pair of boots, and took with her also a leather jacket.
When she exited the base she didn't turn to look back: she only walked through the gates, out of the village and went along the road, her backpack on her shoulder.
She felt the grey cloud of depression enveloping her.
She didn't know where to go, and didn't care about that.
She desired only to feel what she felt before, with Hive.
She was craving someone - or something - that could take her that high!
And then a rush of memories came back…
Memories from the past…
Memories about the first period she was by herself, after she eloped from the nuns, when she was absolutely free to do whatever she wanted and anybody could no more control her… when she was a stupid, carefree, daring teenager that wanted to play with fire…
... memories about the darker and most dangerous period of her life, when she was screwed… a lot…
She, once upon a time, found a way to experience sensations similar to Hive's addiction: she already experienced that hypersensitivity, that supremacy, that euphoria, and pleasure, and energy, and happiness… in short: that ecstasy… She remembered how she could perceive those extremely vivid colors and those intense sounds; how she felt the entire world outside in slow motion and the reality altered, so much so she thought seriously she was living an out of body experience!
But, most of all, she craved that sensation of security, of safety, where all her worries became nothing and pain didn't exist anymore!
And she knew all that was false!
That it was all a lie!
That it was only an artificial covering to the biggest horrors imaginable!
There was only one word to call that: a devilish trap! Like those carnivorous plants that attract insects with their dazzling colors, with their intoxicant perfumes, only to devour the poor unsuspecting gullible preys that so willingly were throwing themselves headlong into those false paradises!
And she knew that!
She knew all that, perfectly well!
But she didn't care!
She wanted all that!
Thanks to God, at that time she met Miles, who dragged her away from that deathly peril early enough for her not to become addicted and suffer all the terrible consequences of drugs usage. He had already suffered the loss of several friends because of drugs and would not allow her ending the same way!
Miles had a grudge against drug addiction and especially against drug dealers and drug lords: he seldom affirmed they were the greatest criminals that walked on Earth.
She had to admit that on that occasion she did a very narrow escape!
But now she desired that, again, irresistibly; and the possibility to have it was the only though that kept her together.
The objective was painful clear in her mind, and she would have achieved it at any cost, also at the cost of her own health…
and life…
…
She must have walked a lot after midnight, but she hadn't any idea what time was it, now.
At last she was so exhausted that she could walk no longer.
She was hungry, tired, and she was drained of all energies.
She couldn't remember the last time she ate.
Just about the time when she reached extreme exhaustion, she came upon a portion of a street where she found a covered bus stop shelter. She waited till she was sure that no passers-by could see her, and then she entered it and lied down on the bench.
There she fell asleep.
…
The next morning (three hours later) she found herself somewhat refreshed, although her body was numb, all her bones aching…
A passing by bus had woken her up…
It was slowing down and she raised and gestured to the driver to stop.
She entered in it, paid the ticket and welcomed the pleasant warmth inside and the softness of the seat, after so many hours passed in the chill of the night on a hard surface.
She fell asleep again, until the bus reached the terminal, in a little city, around noon.
She explored the place and ended up in a diner where she could have lunch, finally.
She asked the innkeeper where she could find a place to sleep that night, but he started to be too much talkative, asking her where she came from, where she wanted to go, if she worked or studied…
That was very odd, indeed…
Thankfully, another guest, an old truck driver, saved her from that avalanche of questions, offering to give her a passage to the metropolis.
She accepted willingly and they left soon after.
…
By night she had reached her destination.
She descended from the truck and greeted the driver with a smile.
He gave her recommendations to be very attentive, because he had a daughter just her age and he would be terrified knowing her in that city alone.
She thanked that old man with an uncomfortable sense of longing… he had been so kind with her, a perfect stranger… but she assured him she could take care of herself!
What the man didn't know was that the main danger for her was herself…
It was almost dark and she managed to get a room to rest in a motel nearby, where she could at least take a shower.
She was running out of money and she had to find a solution quickly.
The following day, after having paid for the motel and the breakfast, she was left completely dry.
She wandered around in that city all day, aimless, confused, starting from the humble blocks, where the houses where little and disheveled, and progressively reaching very rich and elegant quarters, where everyone looked her bad, because of her messy and dirty look.
Finally she arrived in the financial quarter, where all was shining: tall glassy palaces, taxies zooming on the streets, elegant men and women in suits, talking animatedly and continuously on their phones and almost running…
They hadn't problems in finding money to eat… and she felt so weak and alone…
Of course, she had the power to crash down all the surroundings in a pile of ashes, but it was like her powers were useless, counterproductive, even...
In fact, she couldn't afford to be found and discovered for what she really was: a walking earthquake!
The Sokovia Accords where extremely dangerous: she knew that.
If they managed to capture her, she would become a lab rat, and she probably would end exactly like her mother… dissected alive and then thrown in the trash.
She had absolutely to keep a low profile.
Thinking about that, she realized she committed a mistake, going there, where every corner had a camera!
How sloppy she had been!
She had to fly immediately and reach some hidden place!
But she didn't know that somebody didn't need camera feeds to find her…
…
That night she hadn't enough money to pay for a meal, nor for a shelter to sleep in.
She could only drink some water in a public bathroom…
In the middle of the night, when she didn't know what to do nor where to go, she ended up under a bridge, curling up on a cardboard and covering herself with a large newspaper, resting her head on her backpack as on a pillow.
She was exposed to any passers-by and she knew that.
The thought made her a little uneasy, so she thought it would be hard to fall asleep, given also her uncomfortable makeshift bed and her rumbling stomach (she had even considered going in a soup kitchen, but she felt too ashamed for it, preferring the hunger instead).
But, after all, she had still the strength to joke: 'At least this forced diet will be beneficial to keep my figure!'
At the end she was so exhausted that she almost fainted down: she didn't have time to linger and mourn any more about how humiliating the whole situation was…
The only thing that mattered now was surviving…
... like old times…
... like him…
…
The following morning she felt strangely warm and comfortable.
She slowly woke up and found that she had a soft blanket around her shoulders.
What the…
Then she smelled in the air a familiar perfume…
Coffee!
And bread!
And donuts!
She opened wide her eyes to find in front of her a large paper cup of coffee and a bag containing a beautiful, fragrant, healthy stuffed sandwich and a unhealthy donut full of cream!
She threw herself on the food and ate everything, not dropping a single crumb or a single drop of cream!
How good, how good all that was!
An the coffee? That was divine!
That was exactly how she liked it: hot, the just right amount of sugar, and colored with a hint of cream…
Absolutely perfect!
Yeah... absolutely perfect...
... wait…
She was still in a wakening dizziness, so she ate and drank almost gobbling everything, but only now she wondered where all those things could come from…
The particular of the coffee, perfectly coinciding with her preferences, was like a signature…
Only one person in the world ever bothered to notice and remember how she liked coffee.
Ward...
It was him!
It had to be him!
He found her.
No surprise about that: probably he followed her all the way out of the base and on and on… and she didn't notice anything!
But he was good.
She knew he was good.
And she felt suddenly, for the first time after many months, that sweet, sweet sensation that somebody cared for her really, for free, selflessly... somebody who watched her back, who kept an eye on her to protect her, somebody like a guardian angel…
And she felt somehow the first layer of the ice that was covering her heart melting…
But she drove those thoughts away, because she had a precise goal, now.
She noticed that the zip of her backpack was slightly open: she inspected the hole and found a wrap of money!
They where all small denomination: five, ten, fifty dollars, but altogether they where about two thousand!
She had to admit Ward had been generous, whereas she had just tried to kill him and had declared to hate him, too!
One thing certainly did not lack him: stubbornness!
Why couldn't he grab the simple concept she wanted to be left alone?
But she didn't want to admit to herself that this situation destabilized her certainties and also amused her… that this game of cat and mouse was intriguing her!
"Ok, Ward!
Do you want to play rough?
I'm ready to give you that!
I don't want you, with all your gallant white knight renewed gleaming armor, to put a spoke in my wheels….
Meanwhile, tonight, with this money you so generously gave me, I'm going to enjoy myself!
A lot!"