4433 words. sorry for the long delay...like super long. more is coming :)
The first week of summer flew by faster than I could say 'quidditch'. Despite my vow to Anna not to give up on love, I'd found it awkward and hard to make any progress in the Quil department. Most times I was so worried Sam would see me trying to be sexy in his thoughts when Quil was in wolf form that I would blush and stutter even during normal conversation. Quil's face had been permanently confused the first few days after the phone call. He asked me repeatedly if everything was okay. I just nodded, not trusting my voice- sure it would give me away. I could hardly act normal around him, never mind make him fall in love with me. Who wants to date a bumbling idiot?
The only reprieve I've had was that none of the pack members had fessed up. But I noticed when we were all hanging out, that they seemed to be keeping a closer eye on me.
Today I was determined to turn things around. I was hanging out around the reservation with Anna and then the pack was chilling and having a bonfire at the beach. I promised Quil I'd join in when we were finished. I biked barefoot over to Anna's, not wanting to put socks over my cut, carelessly discarding my yellow bike on her overgrown lawn, mowing it was Anna's least favourite chore. We grabbed some old chalk sticks we found in her garage and painted the driveway for a few hours, yelling in protest when it started to rain and our masterpiece was washed away. We stayed outside, dancing in the rain with Tully and eating way too many popsicles. Hal and his buddies were hanging out at the skatepark so I took my bike and Anna held on to the back, coasting on her longboard. The boys whistled at our drenched appearance, especially at Anna, who was wearing a white top. We rolled our eyes and shook out our long hair, getting them wet. To which one of the guys responded he was already wet for us. We laughed so hard I snorted, and I couldn't help but wish that I could have this kind of repertoire with Quil. We blasted music and Hal tried to teach us some tricks. Keyword being tried. I'll probably have bruises on my shins for the rest of summer.
A few people left to grab 'food' for everyone after we all pitched in a ten, and they returned with a single bag of chips and booze instead. Anna and I rolled our eyes but then were just as happy as the rest of the gang about three swigs in. Anna kept yelling at me- she had no sense of volume when drunk- to text Quil to come over. But I was having such a great time and didn't want things to turn awkward again. My mood instantly plummeted. Since when had the thought of seeing Quil become a negative one?
Eventually, real hunger kicked in and we parted ways. Anna and I grabbed our fair share of one bottle of vodka to go, tequila was currently on our 'never drinking again list', hiding it under my shirt. We stashed it in her garage and then ate an entire bag of frozen chicken nuggets with an unhealthy amount of ketchup, laughing way too hard at kid shows playing on nickelodeon. Our giggly faze was just coming to an end when we decided to get ready for the beach. Even though it would be dark and too cold to swim, Anna convinced me to wear another one of her bikinis. "It's way cuter than your granny underwear, remind me to take you shopping at victoria secret." I pulled my cutoff shorts over my exposed ass and struggled with a white tube top.
"Help!" Both my arms were in the air and the shirt was caught around my hair, blocking my vision. I heard the definitive click of her camera shutter. "Anna!"
"What?" Her voice raised in innocence, "I just took it to show Quil later."
"You most certainly will not!" Then I wriggled frantically, "now help me before I get claustrophobic."
...innocent...
It wasn't until Anna was reaching for her car keys that we realized we wouldn't be able to drive the twenty minutes to La Push, we'd both been drinking. Anna's mom was already in her pyjamas, a glass of wine and a carton of chocolate beside her. We shared a look, there was a zero percent chance that we could convince her to drive us.
"Text Quil."
"No way will he leave his friends to drive forty minutes to pick up two young girls."
"Yes way. I betcha he'll text back within the minute that he's coming. I saw you two at the party on Friday, he's totally into you."
I raised a freshly plucked eyebrow, "Bet me what?"
"If you are right, in which case we won't be able to go… I won't set my super-secret love plan into action."
"What's your super-secret love plan?"
"That for me to know, and for you to thank me for later." Anna winked, then gestured to my phone. "Do it."
I sighed and hovered my thumbs over the keyboard. What should I say?
I must have taken too long because Anna snatched the phone from my hands, typed and sent a message before I could even cry out in protest. "And now we wait." Anna watched the lock screen enraptured.
"What did you say?" I whined. The phone buzzed with a response.
"Ha! I was right." She held out the screen for me to read and my heart skipped a beat.
You know how you're the absolute best man in my life? Well you'd be even more phenomenal if you came to pick up two sliiiightly tipsy girls, in need of a good time ;P
I'll be at Anna's in twenty :)
"Oh my god, you did not text him a winky face!" I ripped my phone back. "This is so embarrassing Anna! He didn't even text one back."
"He texted a smile." She hopped on the barstool and pulled out a reusable Starbucks straw cup.
"That's not the same." I moaned laying my head on the cool marble. I watched her pour orange juice into it. "Whatcha doing?" I'd never seen her drink orange juice. We both preferred water to juice.
"So the vodka doesn't burn my throat." She explained.
"We're getting drunk again?"
"Just tipsy. And yeah, it's summer babygurl. We need to spend at least 50 percent of it turnt."
I rolled my eyes. "You're crazy."
"Crazy fun." She blew me a kiss and I waved it away as a joke.
"So not sharing my first kiss with you." Anna pouted at me.
"Boo, you whore."
...innocent…
"Hey." I climbed into the front seat and shot Quil an awkward smile. I still couldn't believe the text Anna had sent him. The smile he gave me in return didn't lack any of its usual lustre. I relaxed, drawn into his deep brown eyes. It wasn't till Anna slurped loudly from her straw that our locked gaze broke.
"So, I'm phenomenal?"
"I'm so sorry we bothered you Quil, I'm sure you had better things to do than drive us around, we were coming to join you guys at first beach but we've both had something to drink and Anna's mom was already in her pyjamas…" I drifted off, not really knowing where I was going.
"Better things than hanging out with my best friend? Psh, nah." Quil slung an arm around my chair and looked back, reversing out of the driveway. My heart both melted and broke at him calling me his best friend. Feelings were so freaking confusing.
"Ugh, you are the absolute dream man Quil, no wonder Claire's been obsessed with you since kindergarten." I shot Anna a look and mouthed; way to be subtle, bitch. She simply rolled her eyes at me and began typing on her phone.
Quil dramatically puffed up his chest. "Obsessed, huh?" Sam's disapproving face flashed before my eyes.
"Yeah, well, uhm, you're a great friend." The second the words left my lips I scrunched my eyes shut in frustration. I hadn't meant to say it like that. Now it sounded like I was the dismissive one, but I was just so worried that Quil would think of this conversation later, and it was already a miracle that none of the guys had thought about the most mortifying moment of my life while in wolf form together. A conversation like this might trigger the memory from them. I should just give up now before I actually die of embarrassment. I had definitely misinterpreted the situation. Quil wasn't into me. I was just a kid to him, a friend- nothing more. I just needed to get my heart on board with my brain so that I could stop having a panic attack every time he flashed those pearly whites at me.
Anna hit me from behind and I shot her a panicked look. What are you doing, stupid? She mouthed, gesturing wildly to Quil. I shook my head. I couldn't anymore. The fear of everyone shaming me outweighed getting Quil to like me back. I turned to the front. I would thank Quil for the ride and then distance myself. I'd only been in love with him for two and a half years, that would go away quickly, right? I snorted quietly and leaned my head against the car window, grateful for the cool glass against my heated face.
We were slowing down for a red light when Anna laughed loudly, breaking the twenty-minute silence. I'd noticed Quil shoot a few looks at me, normally I would talk his ear off in the car.
"What's so funny?" He asked.
"Oh my god, look!" Anna thrust her phone forward and showed Quil something that had him hit the brakes so hard my seatbelt snagged as I jolted forward. Anna stumbled forward from the middle seat, laughing even harder. "Shit, I should have worn my seatbelt."
I looked over to see what she'd shown him and instantly all the blood left my face. That bitch had shown him the picture of me struggling with the tube top. It was basically just a shot of my tits in that white strapless bikini. "Anna!" I hissed, wrenching the phone out of his hands. He looked up and gulped. Shit. Was he pissed?
I guess the light had turned green a while ago because the car behind us honked, Quil shook his head as if to wipe the image from his brain a mumbled something under his breath I couldn't quite hear. The rest of the drive was silent again, and suddenly that made me sad. I wanted Quil, but wanting him just led to things being awkward and hard. I didn't want to lose him, even if it meant he would never truly be mine. It was so much simpler when I was a kid. When I was a kid I was sure he would always be mine, and then when I'd overheard him on the phone… but no. The pack would never have reacted that way to me if I was actually his imprint. Imprints were super rare and so special, they would have been happy. Or as happy as they could be, listening to an awkward crude conversation about their friend. Not lecturing and threatening me.
We piled out of the car and I took a deep breath of salty air. The ocean heals all woes, my mom used to say. Anna wordlessly handed me her cup and I drank greedily. The bonfire was in full swing, it was mostly Quileute's, but a few members from Makah tribe were here as well. I recognized some of the pack members immediately and blushed. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at them the same.
"Thanks, Quil," I mumbled, pulling Anna all the way down the wet beach to the dark waves, too scared to look back and watch him walk away from us.
"What are you doing?!" She whisper-yelled at me. I shushed her violently, looking back to where the pack was greeting Quil. "They're not going to hear me from all the way over here." She rolled her eyes.
Except that they probably could, not that I could tell her of course. I just hoped the crashing waves and their own conversations kept them from overhearing ours. "Quil has crazy good hearing," I whispered in explanation.
Anna, understandably, did not look convinced but she whispered back to humour me. "You promised me you were not going to give up! This is the summer of love not the summer of awkwardness. Get it together Claire, he likes you!"
"No, he doesn't. At least not like that. He likes me as a friend, that's all. I told you what Sam said, that he'd be embarrassed to know I tried to make a move on him."
"Don't trust what that old geezer has to say, what does he know about young love?"
"Uncle Sam and Quil know each other super well, they're basically family."
"Yeah, but maybe Quil didn't exactly share that he has the hots for his friend's much younger niece. You need to just live in the moment and pay attention to what Quil is actually doing and saying versus what other people are telling you. Fuck, I nearly died because I showed him a picture of you in a bikini and he slammed the brakes."
"Probably because he was mortified that you were showing him something he thought was disgusting!"
"Honey, it was a picture of your boobs. There's no fuckin way he thought it was disgusting, he's a man. They are hard-wired to find all boobs amazing, even droopy old ones. And yours are young fresh and amazing. Maybe all the blood rushed so fast to his huge dick he didn't have the brainpower to drive anymore."
"Anna!" I hissed. "Enough with the… penis jokes."
"O M G, only you would call it a penis." She flicked her wavy hair over her shoulder. "And I'm just saying, he's like, what, 6'4? Having a small penis," she sketched a brow at me, "just doesn't make anatomical sense."
"I don't care if it makes anatomical sense!" I spluttered, "just don't fucking talk about it, okay?"
"Okay, jeez. I thought the whole point was to get into his pants. But," she raised her hands in surrender, "whatever, I won't mention his hot rod anymore." The visual of his hot rod immediately, and completely unsanctioned, sprung to mind. I dropped my face into my hands and groaned. Sometimes, Anna was impossible. She's lucky I loved her so damn much.
"Everything okay?" Quil's voice came from behind me, so sudden that I screeched and fell forward, pulling Anna down with me into the wet sand. Please tell me he hadn't heard- please tell me he hadn't heard, please -
"Everything's great. My ass is just a tad wet," Anna pointed to me sarcastically, "due to this lovely human." She got up and brushed the sand off her clothes. "Imma go stand by the bonfire, bye!" She hurried off and then excitedly squealed Hal's name. She must have invited him when she was texting in the car.
Quil held out his hand to help me up and I grabbed it reluctantly, loath of the tingles that always accompanied his touch. The feeling used to go straight to my stomach, igniting a million butterflies, but recently it had been shooting a little lower. I hopped the darkness hid my blush, it certainly didn't help that just seconds before I was thinking about something I had no business thinking about. I stayed silent, heart racing, still unsure if he'd heard the last bit of Anna's inappropriate rant.
"You good? You looked upset when I came over." He reached up and brushed some sand from my face, lingering with his hand and finally tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Uh yeah." He hadn't heard. "Anna was just… it's a girl thing." I finished lamely. I had no idea what to say, and my dad usually backed off when I said something along those lines.
Quil raised his brows. "Okay, it's a girl thing." He laughed and ran a hand through his curly black hair. "Guess you don't tell me everything like when you were a kid anymore."
"I'm on my period!" I blurted out, not wanting him to think I was keeping secrets from him. Even though that was exactly what I was doing. I'd made him promise that we wouldn't have secrets after I finally found out about them being shifters. Only… fuck. Not only did Quil have a great memory and usually brought me chocolates when I was on my period like he did two weeks ago, but he also had a nose more powerful than a wolf, so… I blushed furiously. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Now it was even more obvious I was lying. Stupid penis obsessed brain, can't even think of a good excuse.
Quil nodded as if agreeing with me. We both knew I was a big fat liar. "I was thinking of heading up to the creak on the west trail we used to go to. You up for it tomorrow? I wanted to talk to you about something." My heart had just recovered from the earlier shock and now he had to drop that bomb on me.
"S-Sure." I stuttered, looking wide-eyed into his eyes. Was he mad at me? But Quil looked down at me with a small smile playing on his lips and tugged me into a hug. I wrapped my arms tight around his waist, grateful for the ever-present heat he supplied me with.
"I miss you Claire-Bear," he mumbled into my hair, inhaling deeply. I tilted my head up, strands of my hair getting caught in the 5 o'clock shadow on his chin.
"I'm right here." I frowned at him, but secretly I felt the same. I missed the ease we used to have. This past week, with all the tension and awkward conversation, had been miserable. We used to sit and talk for hours about nothing and everything at the same time.
"I know."
...innocent...
Quil carried me piggyback up to the bonfire and unceremoniously plopped me on a lawn chair I recognized as being an extra dining chair from his house when he had guests over. He left just long enough for Anna and Hal to find me and fight over who got to sit in my lap, each moaning that there was no other place to sit, before returning with an ice-cold ginger ale.
"Neither of you is going to sit on Claire," he said seriously. "That's my chair. I was just using Claire to keep it warm for me." I got up, surprised, and offered him the seat. He took it, then pulled me into his lap. "I still need you."
God, that boy had no idea what his words did to me. I nodded mutely and perched precariously on the edge on his knees. Logically I knew being a werewolf and having super strength probably meant that I wouldn't feel heavy to him, but I couldn't bring myself to put my full weight on him. That is, of course, until he pulled my back against his chest, causing me to lose my balance and crush him beneath me. I relaxed against him, revelling in the feeling of being in his protective embrace.
Anna smirked at me, then pushed Hal into the sand and jumped on top of him. "You're my cushion now!"
We all laughed, and I finally felt like things were returning to normal. I snuggled deeper into Quil, gazing into the fire. When my eyes refocused I saw Embry watching me from across the fire, a questioning look on his face. I instantly stiffened, the feeling of ease evaporating. It wasn't my fault though! Quil was the one who'd pulled me into his lap. I searched for Uncle Sam but didn't see him, they wouldn't get mad at me for this, right? I'd always sat in Quil's lap. Sure it was slightly different now that I had developed but, it was harmless. At least for him.
When after ten minutes none of the pack made a move to interrupt us, I relaxed again, laughing and talking with Quil and my friends easily. The early morning and restless sleep finally caught up with me a few hours later. I only woke briefly when Quil got up and placed me back in the chair with a blanket from his car. I blinked the sleep from my eyes, watching Anna and Hal depart in his car and noticed, that most of the lingering people were pack members slowly packing up for the night. Quil must have gotten up to help them.
The next time I woke I was cold. The once huge fire was mere embers now and the blanket didn't do much to keep the cold sea breeze from chilling me. Usually, Quil was always nearby, so I could leech his heat, but he must have been gone for a while. I called out his name softly, but he must not be within hearing distance. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, spotting him with another figure down along the beach. I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and walked towards them. I was tired and ready to go to bed, hopefully, I could stay at Quil's again. The moon wasn't very full tonight so the light was limited, making the stars pop beautifully. It wasn't till I was much closer that I noticed the person Quil was talking to, so far from everyone else, was a girl- a woman. A really beautiful woman, with long blonde hair in a tight dress and bigger boobs than me. I scowled.
She laughed then, head thrown back and rested her hand on his bicep, which flexed beneath her touch. My good mood evaporated. Tonight just became shitty. I might have never had a boyfriend before, but even I could spot flirting as obvious as this.
"Of damn, you are really hot." she brought her other hand to his forehead, feeling his temperature. "In both ways." She grinned. "You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I just run hot. It's a genetic thing."
"I'm always cold. You should feel my toes at night in bed, they'd probably send you running for the hills."
Bile rose to my throat. Was she spending the night with him? Had she? Jealously ate at me like cancer. I simultaneously felt ready to burst into tears and ready to tear her a new one.
"Quil." My voice, thankfully, didn't waver.
He met my gaze over her shoulder and shrugged out of her grip. "Hey Claire, sorry, I didn't mean to leave you so long. You ready to go?"
"Is this your little sister?" Blondie interjected.
"Best friend," he replied. My eyes flashed in anger- oh how I wanted to shut her down by saying he was my boyfriend.
"Aw, that's so cute! You are such a great guy Quil." This bitch wanted to get cut.
"Uh, yeah," Quil responded brilliantly. I scoffed. "See ya around." He stepped around her and walked towards me. I turned and tried my hardest not to stomp up the beach, not bothering to wait for him. Obviously, he had better things to do than hang around with me.
He jogged a few steps to catch up and pulled off his hoodie, "here, it's probably warmer than the blanket." I ignored his offer and kept walking. "Claire" He tried handing it to me again. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I replied, only I couldn't keep the bite from my tone. "Don't let me keep you from your date. I'll just go sleep at Hal's"
"My date? What are you talking about Claire?"
"Blondie down there, you know the woman throwing herself at you and wanting you in her bed."
"I came here with you Claire, and I'm going to leave with you."
"Yeah cus you have to," I mumbled. Only, of course, he heard me.
"Because I want to Claire. You are my best friend."
"I hate that word." I blurted, stopping abruptly and throwing my arm out.
"Best friend?"
"Yes. It's...stupid. It's-." Not enough. I exhaled loudly in frustration.
"So what, you're not my best friend anymore?"
"Of course I'm your best friend!" I rolled my eyes at him. "You just don't- you don't get it, okay? It's fine. Just go back down there and I'll go home. I'm tired and cold and I just want a bed."
Quil stopped as well and looked at my face. "Are you hangry or something?"
"Oh my god!" I threw both hands high. "Just- forget it." This time I really was stomping up the beach. When I reached the parking lot I reached for the phone in my back pocket and dialled Anna, it rang twice before the phone was slipped out of my hand. I watched Quil end the call before sliding my phone in his pocket.
"Come on grumpy princess, I got a bed way closer than Anna's." he smiled at me, that stupid smile that gave me fanny flutters, and made it hard to stay mad at him, and made me just want to shout from the rooftops that I love this clueless man and want to have all his babies.
I took a deep breath, most of the tension leaving my body. It was impossible to stay mad at him.
"Fine." He slid the sweatshirt over my head, and immediately I calmed down. His scent had that effect on me. It smelled like woods and boy and home. Then he slid his arms around my legs and picked me up effortlessly.
"Go to sleep, I'll tuck you in and make sure you are nice and warm."
"You're the warmest thing in there," I responded, face muffled in his chest.
"Okay, I'll keep you warm."
And that was when I realized, that here was no way in hell I was going to be able to be just friends. Forget about the whole pack shunning me, or my parents disowning me. I needed Quil like I needed air, and I was done waiting. Project seduction was back on the table. And I was going to win his heart if it's the last thing I do.