Summary:
Their first date? Almost…
Comments are greatly appreciated: please, let me know what you think!
Chapter:
The car was really a dream: from the white leather interior to the rampant horse on the steering wheel and the satellite navigator; from the metal pedals to the cockpit, that looked like a spaceship… and all of that characterized by a breathtaking elegance; not to mention the engine: its roar, its power, its ability to crush you against the seat… and then the air that reached her without bothering her, the feeling of being almost lying on the ground, immersed in the roads, with the lights of the city and restaurants and bistro all around her.
Skye would have never thought to feel, in a strange situation like that, so deeply comfortable.
Ward was the first to break the ice:
"So? What would you like to do?
If I can make a suggestion, I would like to take you out to dinner.
I'm starving!
I know a place where the Chef enhances her Californian Mediterranean cuisine with European and Asian flare, creating fantastic Japanese Pumpkin Ravioli, dreamy Red Caviar Spaghetti, a fanciful Lobster Saffron Risotto, and a marvelous Berkshire Pork Chop.
Do you want to go there?"
Much to her embarrassment, her stomach growled painfully loud, and she felt heat reaching her cheeks.
But she tried to remain indifferent.
"I'll take that as a yes" and he laughed, really cheerfully!
She felt his warm laugh penetrating inside of her and soothing her like a balm…
She never realized, before now, that she had missed his voice, the same voice that in the past had so patiently explained her how to defend herself, how to dispose her body in the fight, how to hold a gun, how to plan an attack… the same voice that asked for a chance to confide his secrets, that had begged her to understand, that had told her that she knew how he felt about her and that he would never lie to her again, till the end of his life…
She felt a lump in her throat and she had to struggle to hold back the tears.
She couldn't stutter a word.
She couldn't!
It was like her tongue was glued to her palate!
She never had problems in talking, even too much, but now it was all too much.
They both have been through too much…
Luckily, Jenny had given her a coca shot before, so Skye could avoid falling into the usual fierce depression that in recent days made her spend hours crying desperately on her shoulder… It would not be a pretty show to be staged in front of Ward!
Her mood brightened a little when they arrived in the parking lot of a great and very chic restaurant, hearing in the distance the clink of forks and knives on plates, the sound of sweet music and the laughter and chatter of people.
Out of the car, though, she realized that perhaps her clothes would not fit the tone of the restaurant…
"Don't you think that, perhaps, my clothing is… not… adequate?"
Oh, finally she was able to say something!
He answered, studying her from head to toe:
"Maybe not…
But, believe me: despite everything, in that restaurant there is nothing that compares to you!
So don't worry!" and he smiled at her.
Perfect!
With those words, the lump in her throat had become almost painful!
She tried to hide her glassy eyes looking away.
He held out his arm to help her climb the few steps at the restaurant entrance and she was grateful for this, because she, for some time now, found walking on her heels more and more difficult… She didn't need to sprain one of her ankles!
She had also the possibility to notice, through the fine tissue of his white shirt, that he didn't loose his muscular tone: she had the impression to grab a hot rock!
That, his stunning appearance and his gallantry in general, were really starting to turn her on…
When they entered the restaurant, they were welcomed by a quintuplet of dazzling crystal chandeliers looming majestically overhead in a large, yet intimate two-tiered dining space. The semi-private booths downstairs and the dining alcoves upstairs, that sported an even more intimate look, along with the opulent ruby-red décor glimmering softly under the glow of two huge open fireplaces, made this seductive bistro an extremely romantic place!
The high walls were certainly made for low-decibel dining, which was another plus that enhanced the intimate ambiance.
There were not so many people as she expected.
A waiter came to them and asked gently if they preferred to remain down or go up.
Ward chose to go upstairs: his Specialist instinct suggested it, because from there he could dominate all the surroundings, and also afford a marvelous panorama of the dining area below.
When they seated upstairs, one in front of the other, Ward said:
"Every time I come here, I receive a warm welcome, an excellent service, and an unrivaled cuisine.
Be prepared to have all of your senses stimulated!"
He didn't add anything that could make her suspect a double meaning… all he had done and said so far was worthy of a perfect gentleman.
He took a sip from his glass of white wine.
She did the same and the sweet-sour savor of it and its freshness made her taste buds sing!
It was really good!
"Another characteristic I appreciate here is that pomposity and pretention are absent, even if here they are able to prepare exquisitely sophisticated dishes and the location is extremely elegant. The entire staff is down-to-earth, knowledgeable, and accommodating. In a nutshell, here there's a team of professionals that cheerfully conveys a sense of joy in their work, as well as a refreshing sense of accountability" Ward was considering.
"The wine list is also considerable: a couple dozen wines come from California, and almost 90 different kind are imports from Italy, France and Australia."
He paused and then dared to ask her, almost shyly, a direct question:
"Do you like your wine?"
She raised her eyes up to him and felt her heart loosing a beat at his look… it was a mixture of desire, timidity, restlessness, longing, fondness… and maybe something more… but she didn't want to think about that… she couldn't afford to think about that… not now… not here… never…
"It's very good, thanks. But…" she paused, not knowing how to formulate her thoughts.
He visibly tensed.
"There's no need for you to fuss about me so much… this was not how I expected the evening would go…
I didn't expect you to show up, either… not in a thousand years…
I thought I would end with some horrible guy…" and a shiver passed through all her body.
He noticed it and felt such a surge of compassion for her that felt his heart swollen.
It wasn't pity: it was compassion, in its Latin meaning of "cum patior", which means: "suffer with".
He suffered for her and with her…
He didn't want to broach the subject, but he had to! So he asked her, heavily embarrassed:
"Was it your first time with… you know…"
"Yes!" she immediately interrupted him, blushing violently.
The two remained in silence for a while. He was struggling to find something to say to spare her more embarrassment, but was always lacking in people skills… He couldn't deny, nevertheless, he was very much relieved that she didn't start already with that horrible "profession"!
"So… you were saying… that the evening is turning out better than you expected?"
"Absolutely!"
"I'm glad for that." he relaxed.
"And this evening is still about having fun and enjoying ourselves, so I suggest to take a look at the menu!" he added cheerfully, smiling tenderly at her.
He opened the menu and shared it with her, and together they decided what to pick up.
She was confused by that intimacy: their foreheads near, almost touching; his low voice that only she could hear; his long fingers indicating the menu items, and sometimes brushing her hands; his honey brown eyes so near she could see every detail of his irises, in the flickering candlelight…
When the waiter arrived and they placed their orders, Ward asked him about another person, probably a colleague.
The waiter's face saddened:
"He's dead."
Ward remained shocked.
"Dead? How? What happened?"
"He threw himself out of a window…"
Ward remained speechless for a minute.
"But the last time I came here he seemed so happy, so serene…"
"Yes. It was before…"
"Before what?"
"Before the disease.
About a couple of months ago people started to change, all at once.
You can see it yourself: tonight we are half empty, but wasn't never this way, before…
A lot of our habitual customers ceased to come; people on the streets started behaving in strange ways; the number of suicides is reaching a peak; all the recreational activities stopped.
It's like people have become a bunch of zombies, soulless, without interests, apathetic, emotionless…
There have been even several cases of mothers that stopped taking care of their babies, provoking serious damages to them, or even death!
It was like they didn't care anymore, like they forgot them…"
"This is terrible…" Ward was pale as a sheet.
"Yes, it is. The only explanation I can give to myself is that mysterious meningitis plague the television talked about recently.
But now everything is covered up.
Nobody talks about it anymore…"
"And you? You seem perfectly normal!"
"In that period I was on holidays, so I was far from here. There are others here that weren't affected, and all of them have a reason: one was ill and forced in bed; another had to study for an exam so stayed at home; and so on…"
The waiter took a deep breath and tried a tight smile:
"But let's not linger on these bad thoughts! I'm going to place your orders!"
"Thank you."
Ward mood had darkened visibly, as if he had been loaded with too great a burden, Skye could see that.
"It's all my fault" he said bitterly.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"If I didn't go on that damn planet, Hive wouldn't have been able to come back."
"This is not true."
Ward looked at Skye puzzled.
She continued:
"First, if Coulson didn't kill you Hive wouldn't have been able to use your body.
Moreover, if it weren't you, it would have been for sure somebody else.
Hydra would have never ceased to try to bring Hive back, especially now that they knew how to do it, thanks to Fitz and Simmons!"
She continued, her voice dropping:
"And, even if you robbed me of the only one that gave me true happiness, I realize it was better this way.
Not for me, but for everyone else.
Killing Hive was the right thing to do.
Indeed, it would have been better to kill It before It could go this far!
Now the world is in big troubles…"
"Yeah… and I have no idea how to fix it…"
"Nobody has.
But this is not my concern.
And it shouldn't be yours.
After all, nothing counts.
Nobody counts.
Everything is going to be nullified, so why bother so much?
The only thing that counts is to have as much fun as possible, until it is possible."
Ward's eyes could burn holes in hers, for how much his stare was intense.
He asked, in a deadly deep voice:
"Since when that girl so full of ideals, so full of life and enthusiasm has become a champion of nihilism?"
She answered, looking straight in his eyes, not flinching a bit:
"Since I found out how the world actually functions."
"And who told you that?"
"I discovered from my own experience."
"And do you think your limited experience can cover all the possibilities?"
"Yes, for me."
Ward remained silent, in a deep, heavy silence.
He knew things were bad, but not so alarmingly bad!
Skye was one inch from desperation.
There was no desire to fight left in her…
There was no desire to live left in her…
No hope…
No faith…
No love…
Only pain… hate… remorse… self-disdain.
He knew pretty well what that meant.
Her situation was comparable to his, when he tried to commit suicide…
She saw death like the solution, like the escape route.
She was one inch from destroying herself.
And, judging from her appearance, she already started.
When he saw her, before, on the sidewalk, he almost didn't recognize her.
He even hoped she wasn't her!
He felt his heart painful swelling at that sight.
She reminded him of himself, after three months of tortures in the US Military Maximum Security Prison, when he saw his image in the mirror for the first time…
Like him, she was the shadow of herself!
How the hell could she change so much in such a short period of time?
Now that he could observe her better, he was noticing a lot of very alarming symptoms: she obviously suffered an extreme weight loss; she had bloodshot, red, glassy and fluttering eyes, sometimes having trouble in keeping them open; she had dilated pupils and her teeth were often clenching; her nose was runny and her speech slurred, due also to her dry mouth; her skin had paled conspicuously; she was unusually sweating and shaking, almost trembling; she displayed nervousness and anxiety and she for sure lost in coordination… she never had been so clumsy or had such delayed motor skills!
During their ride he noticed also she was a little dizzy, disorientated, sometimes completely numb, and had the impression her perceptions were somehow impaired.
When she grabbed his arm before, he also felt she was unusually warm, like she was running a fever…
It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on with her, and he was extremely alarmed and concerned.
He, anyway, tried to behave as if he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary: he didn't want to upset her or to put her on edge. His immediate goal, for now, was to make her eat something. Her body resembled almost a skeleton and he had to do something about it!
Oh, how much he loved her, now more than ever!
And, despite everything, she looked in his eyes always the same beautiful girl.
When their food arrived, they started eating some crispy fried calamari with aioli sauce; then went on with coquille-shaped chicken and mushroom dumplings, followed by crab cakes. Then they indulged on a divine risotto, and finally on pork chops so tender that they seemed to melt in the mouth.
Skye almost crammed herself: she was so hungry! She never experienced such a hunger in all her life! And everything was so good! The food, the wine, the place, the company!
Ward was a pleasurable companion, after all.
Yes, for sure she didn't expect the evening could go so well!
Then a pang hit her: what would happen when they would finish eating?
She stopped dead and watched Ward intently.
Oh, goodness… he was so handsome! So masculine!
He smiled at her and she couldn't not reciprocate.
After all, he had been for more than a year her secret wet dream… so, she decided, she would enjoy whatever will happen between them.
Wasn't all about fun, now?
So, she would have had fun, that night.
With Ward!
He spoke:
"And now let's have a look at the desserts.
I recommend the Crème Brûlée or the Chocolate Cake.
You know? The Chef tried more than once to strike these two items from the menu, but she had always to retrace her steps, by the large number of complaints she received! That's a true accomplishment in restaurant circles!"
"Ok. So let's order both of them! Then we will exchange some bite, deal?"
"Deal."
Ward looked at her: she seemed more relaxed. She seemed almost happy. She was smiling at him like the old times, when they had some spare time on the bus, like, for example, when he was preparing himself a sandwich with military precision and asked her to pass him the lettuce… They were talking about the Cavalry, and Skye commented that she needed a good laid…
While they were waiting for the desserts to come, she said:
"Can I ask you something… something personal?"
"It depends… Ask, then I'll decide whether to answer or not."
"When you slept with May… how was it?
You know… I asked her sometimes, but she never answered."
"Wow… It's a pretty personal question…
What you wanna know is from a… physical or from an… emotional point of view?"
"Emotional.
I guess I will have soon all my answers, about the physical point of view…" and she looked seductively at him.
He almost chocked. Then quickly recovered.
"We didn't do talkative.
It was all very physical, sometimes violent.
We both had to exorcize the ghosts of our past and furious sex was a good way to do that."
"So… no romance… no sweetness… no feelings?"
"Almost none of them."
"Then why did you break up after Lorelei?"
Damn! This girl was too sensitive, for his likings! She had just hit the mark!
But then he decided she deserved the truth.
"Lorelei possessed me completely. She could ask whatever she wanted and I would do it, even if I had to damn my soul."
"I know something about that…" she interjected.
"She asked me if I had some… love interest, and I answered. Then, when Lorelei and May met, she told May that it wasn't her whom I desired…
This is the reason why May broke up."
"She was falling for you, but you loved someone else and she couldn't tolerate that" she summarized.
"Yes."
The two remained in silence, looking deeply in each other's eyes, the meaning of those words heavy between them.
Skye didn't suspect he fell for her on so an early stage... and for sure he couldn't lie to Lorelei!
So, maybe, after all, it wasn't all a lie...
He loved her then.
And he loved her now. She could clearly see that.
He loved her despite everything, unconditionally!
He had always been hungry of love.
Just like her.
They were so similar, after all!
And she felt another layer of ice melting in her heart.