14th March 2018

She hadn't expected anyone to remember. They'd had a date planned, but that was just purely coincidence. And now he'd had one of those calls. So after seeing off Jethro and Clive off for the evening, Sasha closed up at the morgue and tucked Hawkbit into his travel box. She was bringing him home for the weekend for some company. The drive back to her cabin was beautifully peaceful, with the occasional squeak from the box in the passenger foot well. But once she arrived, she noticed the porch light was on. As far as Sasha remembered, she'd turned it off that morning on her way out. Or was it the day before? It wasn't entirely unusual, sometimes Mrs Johnston would pop over to give the place a bit of a spruce up and water the plants when she hadn't seen the car in a day or two.

Sasha did pay much more thought to it, until she was setting the key into the lock and it didn't resist. The door was already unlocked. Sasha carefully put Hawkbits travel box on the ground, to the side of the wooden door, and picked up a old rail post that she used to prop the door open in the summer months. It was cold and heavy in her hands. She tested the weight for a moment before swinging the door open and the rail high at the same time.

"Woah! Sasha!" A voice broke through the terror already built in her mind. A voice she knew.

"Spencer?" Her eyes could make out the well known shape of the federal agent. And how the table was set, with candles lit around the room. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in South Carolina?"

"Could you lower that bar first?" Spencer was eyeing the metal pole, his hands up in surrender. Sasha felt her face flush. She'd forgotten about the post and awkwardly lowered it, letting it rest on the inside of of the door frame. As she did that, Spencer walked over to her, his arms out. Sasha happily let them wrap around her, breathing in the heady sandalwood that surrounded Spencer on a daily basis. "I may have told a little lie earlier today."

"You think?" Sasha laughed, relief flooding her.

"I'm sorry," He chuckled slightly. "But I wanted to surprise you."

"Consider me surprised," She laughed and pushed herself out of his arms. Now the coast was clear, she retrieved Hawkbit from the front door. She'd slowly built up a guinea pig paradise in the small second bedroom of the cabin, where she deposited him. "Whats all of this?"

"Well, I've cooked,"

"It smells amazing," She was being honest, whatever it was it smelt divine.

"Rossi gave me a recipe," Spencer shrugged.

"Spencer," He'd already turned back to the final few preparations for their meal. "Thank you. This is possibly the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me."

April 10th 2018

Spencer hadn't heard from Sasha in a few days. He hadn't been overly concerned until he overheard J.J. and Garcia whispering about her in the kitchen at work.

"So she HAS been seeing someone?"

"Well duh!" Spencer could hear Garcia rolling her eyes. "I gave up asking who about a century ago though, so no idea who- oh! Maybe it's not even the same who as before!"

"No," J.J.'s voice was confident. "Sasha is a long term kind of girl."

"What about her boss?"

"Was still 'long term', just not exactly conventional." J.J. laughed uneasily. "Has she done a test?"

"Like a million." Garcia sighed. "She's off the the doc's later today. Can you imagine though! A teeny tiny mini Sasha in teeny tiny mini scrubs?"

"Cute!" J.J. gushed.

"Cutest!"

The women carried on their gossiping, unaware of their eavesdropper. Not that he was paying any attention now. Sasha is pregnant? Or at the very least believes she is? And she hasn't breathed a word of this to him?

He'd felt sick all day. But she'd texted him, not long after the overheard conversation, with a time and a place to meet. It seemed so normal that it had made Spencer laugh. How could possibly finding out you're going to be a father be normal?

He pushed open the door to the little backstreet cafe Sasha had shown him months before. His heart was racing as he stepped inside. He tried to mimic the smile Orla gave him from behind the counter, but he knew it was more of a grimace. He saw Sasha sitting in a corner by the window. She was watching out onto the quiet street, the sleeves of her jumper pulled over her hands and a steaming mug in her hands. The closer Spencer got, the more he realised she wasn't watching out onto the street. Her green eyes were staring, unseeing, with a sheen of unshed tears.

"Hey," Spencer's voice, thankfully, didn't shake the way he thought it would. She nodded at him slightly and smiled. Spencer noticed she took the time he was getting himself settled in the chair to wipe at her eyes.

"Hi!" She trilled in what Spencer knew to be a forced attempt at happiness. "How's your day?"

"Interesting." Sasha nodded. "Yours?"

"Interesting... I guess." Spencer was searching her face for clues. She looked tired. Orla interrupted them for a moment, putting down a mug of hot coffee in front of Spencer. He thanked the older woman who patted his shoulder and then scurried off back to the counter.

"You seem... upset?" Spencer leaned back in his chair. He knew it was defensive to do so, he was protecting himself.

"I've... um... I've just been to the doctors, actually," Sasha's voice was soft and low. There was a nervous shake behind her words. Spencer readied himself. "Spencer... I'm p-"

"Pregnant." He spat out before she could say the word. Her eyes went wide and she leaned forward on the table.

"What? No!" Spencer felt a little sick now. His head was spinning with emotion. "It's kind of the opposite actually."

"What do you mean?" He was confused at the emptiness he was now feeling.

"I'm perimenopausal."

"That's not possible," Spencer shook his head. "You're only 29!"

"Definitely what it's looking like," she sighed and dropped her eyes back to her tea. "Bloods will take a couple of days, but the scan was completely empty."

"So you're not pregnant?" She shook her head. "Oh thank god for that!"

"Oh," She muttered still staring at the mug in her hand.

"You are happy about that aren't you?" Spencer was rather oblivious to social ques, but even he saw he'd touched a nerve. "It's not like we're in any position for a child."

"Yeah. I guess" She still didn't look up. "But would it really have been so bad?"

"What?"

"If I was... you know."

"Sasha," Spencer tried to reach out for her hand but she moved it away. "Sash... We're not there yet. I don't know if I'll ever be there if I'm honest."

They were in some back of no-where, hick town on a case. Spencer was sharing a desk with Lewis. JJ was over talking to one of the local PD. He could feel both women watching him. He wasn't on his A-game. He'd been checking his phone every 17 minutes. Almost constantly for the last two weeks.

Day by day, Spencer could feel his heart breaking.