Dancing with the Demon

Marian's eyes opened slowly, her brow furrowed, the last thing she remembered was going to bed in Gamlen's house. Now, she stood in a land of shadows, the Fade. She swallowed thickly, the wet clicking sound deep in her throat seemed to echo all around her. How had this happened? Gazing about, the warrior saw nothing that she recognised, and yet everything was familiar. She dared to step forward. Nothing flew at her or took her head off.

"Hello?" Maybe it was foolish to call out, but Marian was curious. "Is anyone there?"

No answer.

Marian risked venturing further, keeping her eyes alert for movement. She walked forward, she supposed that was all she could do. It was that or stand in one spot and wait for … something. The indiscernible shapes and shadows that surrounded her shifted and shimmered about, but as she probed deeper into the Fade, she felt that the landscape was becoming clearer, more distinct and more defined. Soon, she felt that she was walking on stone, marble pillars grew into existence, moss and flowers grew between the cracks. A ruin was assembling itself around her, as if it had stood there a millennia or more. Marian wished she knew what that meant, if anything. 'The Fade is built on ideas' Beth had said. What did an ancient ruin signify? She explored the ruins for answers. It seemed to be a castle or palace of some design Marian had never seen before. No human, elf or dwarf had ever worked this stone.

A quiet, yet sharp sound pierced the silence. Marian whipped her head around, sword already in hand. A stone pebble came to rest at the foot of a spiral staircase. After a moment's hesitation, a familiar face poked out from behind the central pillar, purple and delicate.

Marian didn't lower her sword. She pointed the tip at the being. "Come out!"

The figure slowly emerged from behind the pillar, exactly as Marian remembered. The lithe figure of a Desire demon cautiously padded out towards the human. Its hesitant behaviour, the way it flicked its gaze about, never quite meeting Marian's eyes, it all flew in the face of what Marian knew of demons.

"Stop." Marian barked when the demon got within five paces.

The purple being stood there still, one hand rubbing its fingers together in what looked to be an anxious mannerism.

"Who are you?" Marian demanded in a low voice.

"I'm … I am Valora." A slip of a small smile.

"No. You know what I mean. Who are you? What are you?"

Purple lips opened and closed several times wordlessly. "I- I don't know how to answer."

"Are you a Desire demon?"

"Your kind call me that, some-"

"I don't care what my kind think." Marian stepped towards the demon, she held her ground at the warrior's approach. "I want an honest answer, that's what I desire. What are you, really?"

She lowered her gaze for a few long moments, as if gauging how to answer. "I am … Desire. I am Valora. I am … what I am. I don't know how to term it any other way. I know of others called Desire, they would seek to take you for themselves, if they knew you were here."

"And you don't?"

"No. I … just want to make you happy."

"Why?"

"I am … drawn to you. I've seen your memories, glimpsed your future. You've done so much, will do so much more, but you will suffer. You will suffer pain no one deserves, least of all you. And I fear it will all be for naught."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't be sure, but I have felt danger in your future, hurt and fear." The demon shivered and drew her arms close to her chest. "Fear the like of which I've never felt before."

Marian lowered her sword slowly, despite the logical part of her brain screaming at her not to. She could feel no threat from this being. She sighed wearily. "If what you say is true, why would you even care whether I suffer or not?"

'Valora' stepped forward softly, resolve filling her black eyes for the first time. "Because I see the good in you. You save, you help, you protect. You use what power you have to aid those without."

"You don't know me."

"I know your memories. I can see your worth through them."

Marian scrunched up her eyes as she struggled to process this. "What do you mean, 'you see' things in me? How can you know that, do you read my memories? Are you reading my mind right now?"

"That is just our nature." She gestured to the Fade beyond the ruins. "This place is built on thought, it seeks design through it. I did not build this keep, you did."

"How? Why?"

"How? It is just so. Why? I cannot say."

"Right …" Marian felt she had less understanding than when she started. "So, what do you really want from me?"

"I told you, I just want to-"

"To make me happy. Right, right, so you said."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can say." 'Valora' appeared remorseful at irritating the human.

Marian had no idea what to make of this. It could be some elaborate scheme to trap her in the demon's clutches for eternity. Surely it had to be. Yet every fibre of her being told her that this purple being was no threat to her, that she was truly sincere in her pleas.

"Why did you return?" 'Valora' suddenly asked, quietly curious.

Marian fixed the purple woman with a scowl. "What do you mean? I didn't choose to come!" Suddenly angered, Marian threw caution to the wind and pushed the demon back, pinning her up against the stone wall. For her part, 'Valora' merely allowed the human to hold her there, her expression unchanging. "You brought me here! Last thing I remember was falling asleep, then- then here I am! Stuck in the Fade, again!"

"I did not bring you." 'Valora' narrowed her eyes as if affronted by the accusation, more so than the invasion of her space. "You walked here on your own. You said that you could not stay when last you were here. I respected that. I did not seek you out."

Marian didn't know what to make of that. Was she telling the truth? Or was this just some part of the lie? She glanced down at the position the human and demon were in. It would almost be suggestive if they were stood in a tavern or a bedroom.

"It's alright." The demon soothed, gently laying a hand upon Marian's cheek. "There's no need to be ashamed."

Marian pushed back and swiftly stepped away from 'Valora'. That ability the demon had to read her mind and feelings, it was unnerving. It made her feel naked.

"I'm sorry. I do not mean to upset you."

"Please stop doing that." Marian sighed. "How can you expect me to trust a word you say? You're a demon."

"I did not bring you here against your will." 'Valora' insisted.

"Well, I'm not a mage, I can't enter the Fade at will." Marian spat back.

"But you do." 'Valora' murmured, smiling warmly. "Every time you fall asleep, you come here. Just like most mortals."

"Not like this." Marian shook her head.

"No, not like this." 'Valora' agreed. "This is rare. You are not a dreamer."

"What? What are you …" Marian trailed off. She just couldn't get her head around it all. "Am I going mad?" She chuckled to herself, rubbing at her face roughly.

'Valora' approached slowly, her hand outstretched for the human. When purple skin met Marian's arm, the human jerked back, swinging her sword up in surprise. It sliced through purple skin like paper. 'Valora' gave no cry or yelp of pain. A black line of whispering shadows shot up her torso from hip to shoulder where the blade had struck.

Alarmed, Marian opened her mouth to say … something. Was it an apology or a reprimand that wanted to break free from her lips?

"I'm sorry this causes you pain." 'Valora' murmured softly, her impossibly black eyes still soft and serene. She did not seem to even notice the cut that would have felled most men.

"How?" Marian asked, wide eyed. She gestured urgently at the wound with her free hand, unable to say anymore.

'Valora's' eyes fell to her wounded body. Without a word, she put a purple hand over the bottom edge of the cut and moved her arm up. The black line disappeared somewhere behind the hand, with no scar or sign that is was ever there to begin with.

"I am fine. Do not worry for me."

Marian opened her mouth to say 'I wasn't', yet she suspected that it would be a lie. She expected the 'demon' knew that too.

"Just- Just let me go. Show me how to get out of here." Marian growled. She feared that the longer she stayed, the less likely she would be able to leave.

"I can't." 'Valora' stated matter-of-factly. "You came here on your own."

"Don't toy with me!" Marian snarled, levelling her sword with a purple chest. "You did so before, do it again! That door. That door of white that led me back last time. Summon it!"

"I can't." 'Valora' repeated, unafraid and unmoving despite the blade hovering before her heart. "I cannot shape this place. This is yours."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is not my domain, my … home, if you will. I have no control over this area of the Fade."

"Bullshit!"

"But you do. I can show you how." 'Valora' reached out a hand once more. "Let me help you, please."

Marian took a step back. This was surely it, the moment where the 'demon' would show its true colours and sink her teeth into the human. Bethany's words echoed in Marian's ears: "Never trust in anything you find from the Fade, only in yourself."

"I can't trust you." Marian shook her head. "The moment I let my guard down, you'll … I don't know what, but you'll do it!"

Valora narrowed her gaze slightly, it wasn't in anger or annoyance, more like she was struggling to overcome a vexing puzzle. It was such a human expression. The more Marian spent conversing with this 'demon', the less sure she was it was a demon after all. But what else could it be? Perhaps that was just part of its trick. Perhaps it was attempting to lure her in little by little. Valora took another step forward, ignoring the sword still hanging in front of her heart, and put her hands together out in front of her.

"Imagine my hands in chains."

"What?"

"Please." Valora pressed. "Imagine that I am bound by chains."

"Why would I-"

"Please, just try." Black eyes were forceful, but there was no malice there.

Marian couldn't see the point of the request, nor could she see how it would benefit the 'demon'. Keeping her distance, Marian lowered her blade a little and focussed her gaze on purple wrists. She imagined a pair of manacles, the kind she'd seen slapped on mages in the Gallows. The kind she feared would find their way onto Bethany's wrists. Marian blinked. The very same manacles had appeared on Valora's wrists.

"How?" Marian murmured.

"I told you, this is your reality to shape." Valora did not seem at all concerned about her shackles. The 'demon' lifted her arms curiously and tested the restraints, pulling on them. The metal clanked so physically, they had to be real. "You imagined these into being, so here they are."

"I don't understand." Marian dragged a hand through her hair roughly. She wished Bethany was here with her.

"It's alright." Valora soothed softly. "I can help."

This time, Marian didn't flinch back from the 'demon's touch when Valora reached up with her bound hands and caressed the human's cheek.

Marian sighed. "Alright." She murmured quietly. "Help me, please."

Valora smiled, warm and true, an expression that seemed both alien and befitting of her delicate purple features. She removed her purple hand from Marian's cheek and curled her fingers around the human's. Without a word, the 'demon' led the Champion through the hall of this alien castle.

"Where are we going?" Marian asked as she let herself be pulled along in Valora's wake.

"You wish to leave this place. So, you need to go through a door."

Marian half chuckled, half sighed in exasperation. "Yeah, but where? How?"

Valora stopped walking just before the great wooden doors. The purple skinned 'demon' cocked her head at the human. Somehow, there was a glint of something in those pure black eyes. Was that amusement, of the human's ignorance of the Fade? Perhaps Marian shouldn't be surprised. Maybe it was like her finding another human who didn't know how to eat dessert or tuck themselves into bed or something.

"Here." Valora gestured to the doors with her hands, still bound by manacles.

"Here?" Marian raised an eyebrow dubiously.

"Yes." Valora nodded. She walked up to the door and pushed it open. A set of stairs lay beyond that descended to a courtyard. A gatehouse stood empty and open, heralding a road that lead off into the far distance. The soft sounds of nature and birds wafted in like a warm breeze. It was beautiful, but it was not the home she knew.

"A door can lead to many places." Valora pulled the door shut again, the heavy wooden beams closed with a heavy thud. All noise from beyond was cut off. "You merely need to know where you mean to go."

"I don't understand."

Valora walked back up to Marian, taking the human's hand in both of hers. Her face was so difficult to read, yet she gave the impression of a teacher, patiently trying to explain a simple idea to an idiot child. "Imagine the land outside as … as a snowy tundra, a blizzard of frost."

"How will that help?"

"Please, just try." Valora asked, her eyes imploring. "Please trust me."

Marian sighed, but duly closed her eyes. She thought of one bitter winter that had hit Lothering when she was a child. Her family had shivered together for scant warmth in the torrid cold. When the storm had eased up, Marian, Bethany and Carver had run outside into the white canvas and played and laughed and fought the most epic of snowball battles. Marian felt a fond smile touch her lips.

"That's it." Valora murmured softly, close at hand. A comforting hand gripped Marian's arm. "Just like that. Now, open your eyes."

Marian opened her eyes.

Valora stood by the door once more. The 'demon' pushed, unveiling a white wonderland beyond. Marian shivered as a frigid gust of wind swept in. The gatehouse that had stood before was gone, replaced by a snow blanketed field, spreading out as far as the eye could see.

"How?" Marian breathed out through teeth that chattered already.

"Like I said, this is your place to control." Valora smiled. "Your will shapes this place."

Marian nodded but she wasn't sure she understood any more than she had earlier. She felt as if she had only more questions. "Alright. So I can just … think my way home?"

"Yes, but it will require more of you." Valora looked back out at the blizzard. "This is but a memory, it is a reflection of your experience. To return to your world, you will need more focus, much more."

Marian felt a smirk grace her lips for the first time. "Good thing that I'm pretty handy at achieving the impossible."

Valora didn't laugh or chuckle. She merely shut the door once more, cutting off the blizzard as if it had never even been there. The 'demon' padded back over to Marian.

"Picture your goal, picture where you want to go." Valora whispered, her very presence so alien and yet so strangely comforting. "See it in your mind. Hear it, smell it, feel it."

Marian closed her eyes once more and focussed on the sound of the hustling streets as workers wandered to and from the Hanged Man, as men and women talked and laughed and argued. She focused on Gamlen's small home in Lowtown. She focussed on the slight damp smell that permeated the place. She focussed on the smell of her mother's cooking. She focussed on the sound of her mother and uncle arguing. She focused on the rough feeling of the threadbare sheets on her bed. She focussed on Bethany's smile. She focussed on the comforting warmth of her mother as they hugged. She focussed on home.

"Now, open your eyes." Valora murmured.

Marian opened her eyes.

Instead of a door of wood, a familiar plane of sheer whiteness stood before her. Like the door Valora had opened for her the last time. Somehow, Marian knew that it would lead her home. She let out a ragged breath of relief.

"It worked." Marian murmured with a ghost of a chuckle. She approached the door cautiously, as if any sudden movement would scare the portal out of existence. Marian looked back at Valora almost warily. The 'demon' merely stood there still, watching Marin with those strange, all-black eyes. It was difficult to read the purple skinned woman's expression. Was she upset, angry, relieved? Marian didn't have a clue.

Marian's eyes drifted down to the 'demon's hands. They were still bound by the manacles Marian had summoned. Valora had made no attempt to break free. Maybe she couldn't? No, Marian didn't believe that. Perhaps she was simply keeping herself in those binds to put the human at ease. With a sigh, Marian closed her eyes. When she opened them again a moment later, Valora was looking down at her hands, slowly rubbing her wrists where the metal bonds had stood a mere moment before.

Valora slowly lifted her alien gaze to meet Marian's. Dark purple lips turned up into a small, genuine smile.

Marian found herself returning the expression. Then, she turned back to the portal, and returned home.

xxx

Marian woke with a start. She threw her head about, searching for an impossible keep. There was nothing but the darkness of her room. It was still late at night or early morning. It was so quiet, she could hear the quiet, steady breathing of Bethany sleeping on the other cot in the room.

Marian rubbed at her face with a sigh. She turned onto her side, trying to find a more comfortable position. Her mind worked over and over, uninterested in sleep or rest. The face of a strange being from beyond the Fade occupied her every thought. Marian didn't return to sleep that night.

She wasn't sure if that was a blessing or not.

xxx

"Bethany?" Marian poked her head around the doorframe of her room, spotting her sister sat yawning at the breakfast table.

"Hmm? What?" The younger Hawke rubbed at her eyes lazily before taking a hearty bite out of some toast. Marian threw her head about, seemingly making sure they were alone.

"I was just wondering," The warrior padded over to the table and took a seat opposite the mage, "What could you tell me about demons?"

"Demons? Why do you want to know about demons?"

"And spirits, and other … 'fadey' things I guess."

Bethany levelled a suspicious eye at her sister over her toast. "This isn't for another quest is it, sister? The gold can't be worth dealing with demons surely."

"No, no, no, nothing like that. I was just curious, like, what do you know about their … nature I guess, how they act, how they behave with humans and … stuff."

"I'm not exactly an expert you know." Bethany hoping her sister would drop the subject, it was far too early in the morning for delivering lectures.

"Yeah, but I know Father taught you everything he knows, and you're always reading …"

"Fiction, Mari, stories."

"Still though, I'd like to know." Marian gave her sister a wide sunny smile.

A long pause. Bethany sighed wearily. "Well … spirits and demons all act differently to each other. It's usually dependent on their 'type' or 'breed', however you want to call it. They're all the embodiment of some idea or concept: Hope, Compassion, Faith, Love. Each is like the walking embodiment of their own name. In fact, the whole of the Fade is built on ideas like that. So, with spirits you can typically judge how they will act based on name alone. Healer mages often call upon spirits of Compassion to aid their healing for example. I've heard stories of Love spirits watching over young lovers."

"But what about demons?"

"Demons are rather similar really, hence the names. But where demons differ, is that they are all, well, sinful traits: Rage, Hunger, Pride, Desire, you get the idea. While spirits will either help you or ignore you, demons will attempt to trick you to gain control over you. Exactly how is based according to their nature again. Sloth demons might tempt you to sleep. Hungers will offer you a feast. Desire … well, I'm sure you can imagine. If they can't get what they want through deception, they will attack."

"Huh," Marian's brow furrowed, "So demon's and spirits, they're always just … one track minds? I mean, they don't have personalities, feelings or goals other than what their name means?"

The mage shrugged. "Who can say? Not that I've ever seen or heard about. But like I say, I'm hardly an expert on the subject."

"What about … have you ever heard of spirits or demons of loneliness or desperation or something like that?"

"No, not that I've ever heard of, but Maker only knows how many different spirits live in the Fade. It's possible there's a spirit for every kind of personality concept you can imagine." Bethany leaned back in her chair in thought. "It's just the most powerful ones that we really know anything about, the ones that have the most success in tempting us mortals to their side."

"But do you think … do you think it could be possible for a spirit, or demon, to change their nature, their name even?" Marian broached the question quietly.

Bethany inhaled deeply, rubbing her eyes again. "Possibly? You'd be better off asking at the Circle. Father mostly taught me how to keep myself safe, he didn't give me a full rundown of demon/spirit history." The younger Hawke eyed her sister dubiously. "You're sure this isn't for some stupid quest, Mari? We really don't need the money that much."

"Of course not." Marian swore, offering her sister a warm smile. "I was just reading this book Anders gave me, it just got me thinking is all."

Bethany kept her stare on Marian for a long moment before relenting.

"Alright." Bethan stood to leave. Then she turned back to her sister. "One thing Father taught me: Above all else, never trust in anything you find from the Fade, only in yourself." With that, Bethany patted a hand softly on Marian's shoulder then wandered off to her room.

Marian sat there, head resting in the crux of her hands for a while, quiet in thought.