Chapter 3: Peace and Acceptance

P O V: Stella Kidd

"Stella baby what's wrong?" Kelly's voice whispers in my ear as his arms wrap tightly around my bare chest across my back which his naked body is pressed against. Those amazing lips are trailing sweet honey BBQ flavored kisses all down my neck, spine. "I don't know Kelly. I can't put it into words, I can't pinpoint what it is or why I feel this way. I just have a bad feeling. Kelly I never ignore my feelings. My gut has gotten me through every hardship in life."

"I get that Stella, I understand it I use the same techniques, always rely on your guts, heart. Sometimes though baby you need a rest. All year we've been struggling, going back and forth between one crisis after another. You deserve to take some time. Zach's gone; Anna is gone, we're both hurting babe, what's the harm in a little fun?" "A little? Kelly it was more like six or seven times." "I'm not complaining." Crawling on top of him I smile slightly at least try to. I want him to know how much I appreciate him, love being with him, yet it's almost like my muscles forget how to smile and be happy.

His hands roam my body as I guide him inside of me moaning in delight as he starts to thrust. "Damn baby I like it when we have fun." "I know you do Kelly." guiding his hands to my butt checks, I watch his eyes dance with delight as they watch my chest rise, fall. "Stella your barely smiling, I know I am getting old, but I know I haven't lost my touch, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I just can't shake this damn feeling it keeps getting more and more gut wrenching. I haven't felt this way since Harry, I just don't want to ever make that mistake again." He doesn't ask who Harry is or why I keep thinking of another man while we make love. Kelly's amazing that way, I know he's thinking about it wondering, probably getting pissed. Yet he trusts me. So he keeps quite giving me my space.

"Relax Stella your thinking too hard." Warmth spreads through my lower half as my moans get louder. "I'm just confused how could Gabby leave her whole life behind? She has a husband she made vows, we're her family. How could she be such a bitch to Sylvie? She's so sweet, she didn't deserve that."

"She has her reasons, after Shay was killed I ran as far away from Chicago as I could. It was simply to painful to be around the people who knew her, who loved her. I needed to lick my wounds. To find my own way.'

"You came around though at some point."

"I did because Matt wouldn't give up, and we won't give up on them Stella, but tonight needs to be about us. It'll be hard at first, they'll feel alone, angry, confused, scared and depressed. They may drink too much sleep too little, but they'll rise, the human spirit is unbreakable."

"I wish that was true Kelly but it isn't people break, sometimes they shatter like glass, there's no putting shattered glass back together, there's simply too many fragments." "That's why we should be there Kelly tonight's going to be the hardest...oh god!" My body took over my mind each thrust became more feverish, harder. "We promised Stella after you saw Gabby's status no cell's, no laptops, no electrical devices. We are taking the night off, just the two of us. We have the right to be happy. No matter how much someone else is hurting. We can't take away their pain."

I squeal as he throws me down on the bed my legs spread wider so he can now lay in between them pumping faster, both of us panting as our bodies start to climax together, our lisp smashing together. I grip his arms so strong, so big our bodies mold together in one sweaty, feverish, canvas as we make love.

"We all deserve peace Stella, the sooner we find the acceptance to allow ourselves to be happy, to make mistakes, hurt to simply be human, the more peaceful our lives will become."

Why is Harry on my mind so much though? Block him out Stella, he's gone. He's been gone for years, he's your past. Kelly is your present and future, he's right here. There's always tomorrow to worry about Sylvie and Matt. Tomorrow; I'll talk to Matt, spend the day with him, make sure he's eating properly, sleeping. Tomorrow I'll take Sylvie out on a girls night.

Tomorrow.