Chapter 5: Everything for you

P O V: Gabby Dawson

"Thank you for driving me to the airport Erin." "of course Gabby. God I am going to miss you so much, I know I'm only in town for a few days to surprise Hank for his birthday, but you are such a part of Chicago to me."

She quickly wipes my tears away "Gabby I am so sorry everything is going so crappy for you right now." she holds me tightly rubbing small circles around my back "He was my everything Erin, we use to lay awake all the time talking about the silliest shit. We had so many dreams, we were so alike it's why we got along so well, I've had a crush on him for years, we overcame so many obstacles."

"I use to feel like his queen Erin, he would always go out of his way to make me feel special, when did I stop mattering to him? Everyone knows I wanted a baby I never made a secret of it, I never stopped wanting, dreaming. He to use want the same damn thing so what changed? Who changed? Why?"

"Baby I am so sorry. I know what it feels like to have everything changed so drastically. I never ever dreamed my life would be outside of Chicago, I was born here, I lived on these streets, I felt one with Chicago. Hank, my family, my friends their all here, I dreamed I would marry Jay we'd have kids and raise them to be the biggest cub fans. Now I've lived in New York for three years, yeah I miss people, places. I've built a life though, I love New York."

Sniffling I can't stop crying her hands keep rubbing my back as my head rests on her shoulder I'm so tired I just want to sleep. Instead she hands me a water bottle. "Drink babe." her fingers wipe away my tears as we lay cuddled on a couch inside the lounge at O'Hare airport. God I miss Shay. I love Erin but Shay was my rock she would know what to say what to do, what to drink.

"I feel like I am dying, I'm not going to make it out of this alive."

"You will Gabby. It'll hurt to say goodbye but your ready honey. You are going to do so much good in Puerto Rico, you'll build a life there slowly, your heart will mend it's a strong muscle. Life isn't a fairy-tale, it's breathless moments that will break you down. There will be moments of joyful anticipation and celebrations. You'll learn balance soon Chicago will be a distance memory, a different time."

Sniffling back tears I sink into her arms it feels amazing "Thank you for being here with me Erin, I have no one to call anymore Shay's dead, Stella won't talk to me she's pissed over how I talked to Sylvie, not that I blame her." "god I screwed that one up so royally I should of never talked to her that way. I knew what I was saying. I knew it would hurt her, I wanted to cut her to her core I was so angry so hurt and none of it was her fault." her fingers run across my face, scalp. I have two hours to go before my flight leaves. "Did you mean what you said?" "No I was so angry so hurt. I just didn't think I just went Gabby."

'Than tell her Gabby, give it a few days for both of you to cool down, you'll get the chance." "what if I don't?" "You will sweetie she's your best friend, she'll forgive you." "Thank you Erin for everything." "No problem girlfriend, I love you that's what girlfriends are suppose to do. Anything you need, anytime, everything for you." my eyes focus on her changing face as she reads her cellphone suddenly she bolts upright. "Gabby I'm sorry I have to go it's Sylvie, she's going to hurt herself."

Instantly I'm on my feet following her at top speed bags forgotten flight be dammed. Heart racing I'll never be able to live with myself if my words, my actions caused another human being to take their own life. I send a silent prayer up to my lord and savior "Please Jesus let us get there in time. I'll do everything for you. Lord Jesus anything you want just please spare us your angel, she's ours to."

A/N: Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the 2ndleading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

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