Chapter 2: Pain
Nessie's POV
I was dead. I was certain of the fact that I was dead. That's why there was blackness all around me. Then something else registered in my brain. A beeping sound. Then soon after there was the pain. I could feel the pain everywhere in the upper part if my body. My face, my arms, chest, everything. It all hurt so much. Below the waist I couldn't feel anything though. There was no pain. Just nothing.
I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded so I shut them again. No I wasn't dead. If I was dead I wouldn't be in any kind of pain. The beeping sound was a machine. I must've been in a hospital. I opened my eyes again but more slowly this time. My suspicion was confirmed when I saw all the machines and the IV.
My memories of my last few seconds of conciousness cams flooding back to me. I remembered the creepy vampire girl I'd seen in the stands. She had stood out among all the other fans. I remembered the way that she looked at me than at Wolf. Then something happened to Wolf and I was thrown off and trampled by another horse.
From what I could see my body was covered in nasty cuts, bruises, and casts. I didn't need a doctor to know that I'd been badly injured. The pain was everywhere. Well my upper body anyway. I couldn't feel anything in my lower body. Then it suddenly hit me that something was very wrong. I tried to move my legs but they wouldn't respond to my command. I tried moving just my feet and my toes but nothing.
I let out a bloodcurdling scream. My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. A doctor came running in. He didn't say anything to me as he put something in my IV.
"It'll be okay Vanessa. Don't worry. You had an accident while racing and-"
"What happened to me!"
"You broke a leg, an arm, several bones, a few ribs, and..." he couldn't finish his sentence.
"and what?!" I screamed.
"Your spine was completely severed. Unfortunately this means that you're paralyzed from the waist down,"
I suddenly felt as if I was going to pass out.
"No! You're wrong! You're wrong!" I started screaming.
"Vanessa I'm sorry,"
"You're wrong," I started crying. I couldn't be paralyzed. Then all of my hopes, plans, and dreams would never come true. I would never be able to ride again let alone win the triple crown or Breeder's Cup Classic or any other race. I would never walk again or-
"There has to be something I can do. A surgery I can have,"
"Surgery would be very risky for your kind of injury. We discussed it as an option but your family is very adamantly against it,"
"But I want the surgery. I don't care about the risks. I can pay for it,"
"But your family says-"
"They're not even my family they're my foster family!" I shouted in anger.
"But legally they are your guardians are they not? Until you turn 18 they make all the decisions regarding your care and they have told us no. I'm sorrym once you're 18 we can reopen that discussion but until then I'm sorry,"
I had never felt so angry or frustrated before. I was paralyzed and this doctor was telling me there was a possible solution but my so-called 'family' didn't even bother to hear what I, the victim, wanted before saying no. I couldn't do anything about it until I turned 18 years old. Which was eleven months away. This wasn't fair or right. I should have some say in my own health care.
I was angry but I couldn't think of anything else to say. It wasn't this man's fault. His hands were tied. I wanted to cry so badly though. In one second all of my dreams had been brutally ripped away for me. Horses, racing, it was the only thing that brought me real happiness. If I didn't have that then what did I have?
"How long have I been here?"
"A week and a half. We had you in a medically induced coma to help with the pain,"
I sighed. "Can you leave me alone doctor?"
"Sure kid. If you need anything just press this button here," he showed me a button next to my bed. "A nurse will come to help you. Your parents are downstairs as well. I will let them know that you're awake,"
"I don't want to see them,"
I started crying as soon as the doctor left. My grief and anger just took control. My whole life had been marked for disaster from the very beginning. Losing my family, Jacob, and now all of my dreams. What made me so angry was knowing there was a possible solution but being denied that because I wasn't old enough to make decisions about my own body.
I missed my real family so much. Especially right now when I needed them most. I missed my mother's and father's loving embrace. I missed the pure love I used to get from my family. The pain of losing them never lessened over the years. Right now I missed them more than usual.
What hurt more was not even knowing if they were still alive. They were going into battle last time I saw them so I never knew the outcome. All this uncertainty was killing me so a few weeks ago I decided to do something drastic. Something completely insane. I hired a private investigator without telling my foster parents. They were always against the idea of their foster kids, three in total, looking for our families. "If they didn't want you before why would they want you now?" was their motto. My foster brother Chris didn't care. My foster sister Elizabeth was only two years old. To young to have an opinion for herself on the matter.
So I knew that my only chance of locating my family was to be sneaky about what I was doing. Not only did I have a lot of money saved up thanks to my career as a jockey but I also still had the money that my mother gave me when she handed me over to Jscob so many years ago. So I hired the best private investigator that I could find.
Two days before my accident I met with Matthew Johnson and gave him all the information that I could. I even gave him my real name Renesmee Cullen. The only thing I changed was my parentage. I told them that Carlisle and Esme were my real parents. It would make more sense then trying to explain how to people, who are physically teenagers, were my real parents. I knew the chances of actually finding them were very slim. Even if they were still alive my family was probably very good at hiding their tracks to avoid exposure.
It was all the hope I had now though. It was the only thing I could hold onto since I didn't have racing anymore. I looked down at my now useless legs and started crying again. I looked up when I heard the door open again.
I froze when I saw a man pale as snow, eyes red as blood staring at me. The hooded cloak sent shivers down the part of my spine I could still feel.
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