Here's angst because I hate everyone :) Also I'm putting myself in the place of John so he's gay and trans.
Tw: Bullying, Fighting, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt
"Yo fag!" Someone had called out to me and Alex. It was George, aka 'King'... what a dumb nickname. He had his little douche squad around him.
"The fuck did you say?" I responded.
"Oops, sorry!" I glared at them.
"You wanna say that shit again to my face?"
"Stop trying to act like a man," King snickered.
"John, they're not worth it," Alex said while trying to hold me back. Kids started to circle.
(A/N: Everything above actually happened.)
"Excuse me? Why don't you shove those retarted insults up your ass," I spoke as I broke free from his grip, approaching them.
"Oh! I'm so scared! What's a little pussy girl like you gonna do to me?" He mocked.
Then he was sent stumbling backwards, a red mark on his jaw. He can thank me for the new bruise that was forming.
He ran up and tackled me, but I didn't fall. I held my ground and shoved him away before kicking him in the shin as hard as I could.
"FUCK!" One of his goons went up and punched me. I grabbed his arm and shoved him back.
"John stop fighting!" Alex begged. I ignored him.
"I'm sick and tired of you little shits thinking you can do whatever the fuck you want!" Two of them jumped on me, pinning me down. I struggled against their grip, but being born female makes you weaker than most born males. King came up and started punching me in the face relentlessly before the teachers stopped the fight.
I had a black eye and a broken nose, and my arms had bruises in the shape of hand prints from where I was being held down. I didn't regret it. Alex was hugging me and holding me close. I was crying. Of course I was. I'm just a little pussy. I shouldn't be crying. I'm a man.
"Jade?" The nurse called for me.
"John," I corrected.
She kind of just ignored me. Figures.
"You're suspended for three days is what I was told."
"Why? I didn't do anything wrong! They provoked me!"
"This is not my decision. Your dad is coming up to get you now."
"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
"Hey! Watch your mouth!"
"Whatever," I muttered. Alex held me closer. "It's gonna be okay John," He reassured. I buried my face in his chest.
I hid my face in my blanket. I'm such a disappointment. I glanced at my side table. Sitting there was something glinting in the sunlight. A blade. A small, one inch razor blade that I had taken out of a pencil sharpener. Only one thing was running through my mind: Do it. But what would Lafayette say? What would Hercules say? Those questions were quickly drowned out.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
So I did it. It started like it always does: I roll up my sleeve. I have that moment of fear before making the first cut. Then I can't stop until it hurts too much.
I made seventeen this time.
The three days passed by quickly, each day leaving me with more cuts. I ended up having a total of forty-five.
God, I'm such a disappointment.
And no one ever found out.
I called Lafayette. He answered. "John, mon amie, what's up?"
"Laf..."
"John are you alright?"
"If I'm not at school tomorrow, tell Alex I love him..."
Beat.
"JOHN NO NOT AGAIN! I'M COMING OVER!"
"No, Laf, please don't... Please..."
But he hung up.
I had downed twenty pills, more than the thirteen I did last time. (Fun Fact: I actually did down 13 during my attempt)
Minuets later I heard a voice from the other side of the door. I opened it to be immediately met with an embrace from Lafayette.
"Mon amie It's going to be okay..." His voice was shaky.
"Laf... I'm tired..."
"No! Do not fall asleep! The ambulance is coming! How many did you take?"
"Twenty I think... Laf I just wanna sleep..."
"No, no stay with me cher!"
HAHAHA CLIFFHANGER! Yeah this got dark, probably because I'm hella upset oof. But anyways, hope you enjoyed my angst. See y'all next chapter.