Chapter 5

The sunlight was streaming through the curtained window as John rolled over in bed and grabbed his head that was pounding from drinking too much the night before. Something had happened and it took him a few minutes to remember the confrontation with his youngest. He groaned in frustration realizing what a fool he had been pushing him away like that. There had been things said by him that never should have been said and now he had ousted his youngest son. It was something he couldn't take back and he couldn't stop berating himself for what he had done. He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands, allowing the room to stop spinning before attempting to get up.

"Dean?" he called as he made his way into the other room. He looked around when silence answered and stepped to the other bedroom to see it empty, as well as the bathroom. John went to the window and looked out seeing only his truck parked in front of the room and swore under his breath. He didn't know if Dean had gone to get some food for them or had taken off. He got his answer when he saw the sheet of paper trapped under the empty whiskey bottle. After pulling it out and reading it three times he crumbled it up and cussed loudly.

John looked around for his jacket and fished out his cell to call Dean but though otherwise. He knew his son was mad at him and probably wouldn't answer his call. Instead he called another hunter in the hopes that Dean had gone to see him. He waited as the phone on the other end rang.

"Singer Salvage," a gruff, older voice answered.

"It's me Bobby, don't say anything, I just wanted to see if Dean is with you," John said quickly before Bobby said his name.

"Yep," Bobby replied in a not so friendly tone.

"Good, don't tell him I called. I just wanted to be sure he was okay. You don't have to tell me; I know I screwed up."

"Pretty sure that's true. You're being an idjit," Bobby said walking away so he wouldn't be heard. "I don't know what you were thinking, but you sure made a mess of it. You need to start thinking straight and pull off the blinders to see what's right in front of you."

"I know Bobby, I know. I'll stay in touch. I'm heading to the Road House for some help. Will you watch out for him?"

"I'll do that," Bobby answered before hanging up. He glanced into the other room at the young man nursing his second drink and sighed. He swore the Winchesters were going to worry him to death one of these days with all the drama.

He had seen how Sam and John butted heads once Sam was old enough to stand up for himself. It still surprised him how they couldn't see how much alike the two of them were. "Why don't ya finish that up and put yer car in the empty bay on the end?" Bobby suggested wanting to get Dean's mind off his worries and away from the liquor. He was sure Sam would contact him or maybe even call the salvage yard once he got settled and in a routine.

spn

Once John was sure Dean was okay, he went to the bathroom to take a hot shower so he could pack and leave. He didn't want to go to the Roadhouse but knew of someone there that might be able to help him hunt down demons. With neither of his son with him now, it seemed even more urgent to stop the yellow eyed demon to protect them. He got his shower and put on clean clothes before packing his duffle to leave. It would be late when he got there if he only stopped for gas and junk food, but that was okay. He knew Ellen would be up late closing the place up and wasn't looking forward to seeing her, but he had to put his feelings aside for now.

He tossed his bags into the truck and climbed in getting settled before cranking it up. It was black and shiny like his car was that he gave to his son when he turned sixteen. He still missed her, but knew she was in good hands and would be taken care of since Dean was as good under the hood of a car as he was.

The roadways were not crowded since the morning rush hour was almost over with and John made good time to the interstate and headed southwest toward Stillwater. He flipped on the radio and found a station to his liking as he settled down for the drive.

The cruel words he had said to his youngest still played around in his head like on a loop. He had lashed out without thinking, without realizing the consequences of his actions. He wished he could take it all back and tried to make him see how important it was to kill this demon, but he was too quick to anger and now he had alienated both his sons. Mary told him his temper was going to get him into trouble one of these days and she had been right.

He hoped that the ties to his sons had not been broken, but only cracked a little and he could mend them. At least Dean had let him know to call if he needed help. He was happy that he was safe for now with Bobby but knew he would be looking for a hunt soon and hoped he played it safe. John had already decided that he'd give Sam some time to cool down and when he was near to Stanford, he would check on him. He didn't plan on confronting him again, but just wanted to make sure he was safe and seemed okay.

The truck ate up the miles and the day passed by before John got to Stillwater and turned off the interstate to make his way to the Roadhouse. This was going to be hard on him since he hadn't been there in a long time. Not since the hunt he had gone on with Bill went sideways and he ended up dead. He knew Ellen would never forgive him for that even though she had called once or twice trying to get him to come by. He never responded wanting to let those painful memories stay buried. If he could talk to the person, he wanted to without seeing her he would have, but that wouldn't be happening. He would have to see her again, there was no way around it.

The parking lot was half full since it was a weekday and John pulled his truck into the gravel lot and parked away from the other vehicles. He took a few slow breaths as he worked up the courage to go inside and get it over with. The worse she could do was throw him out and he'd have to contact Ash a different way. He was on edge but tried to calm himself as he got out of the truck and made his way toward the door. He could hear music drifting from inside and when he opened the door mumbled conversations filtered out too. He paused in the doorway and gave the room a glance before making his way to the bar and taking a stool.

A cute, young blonde was behind the bar and she came over to take his order. He knew this was Jo, Ellen's daughter, and was surprised at how much she had grown. But he should have expected it since she was Sam's age.

"What can I get you?" she asked wiping the spot in front of John and sitting down a napkin.

"Beer is fine," he said. He waited for her to return before asking his question, "Is your Mom around?"

"She's in the back, who wants to know?" she bristled giving John a once over. Not many people asked for Ellen when they came here, and she didn't know who this man was or his connection to her mother.

"I'm actually here to see Ash, but knew I needed to see Ellen first."

"I'll get her," Jo replied looking at John with a slight frown before moving to the end of the bar and disappearing through swinging doors.

John sipped on his beer and waited. He hoped the meeting wouldn't turn nasty. He looked up when two women stepped through the swinging doors and moved his way. He couldn't read Ellen's face and wasn't sure where he stood with her.

"John Winchester, it's been a long time," Ellen finally spoke as she looked at the older man and saw the signs of being a hunter on his face. He had aged over the years and they had not been kind to him, but still he had that rugged, handsome vibe to him.

"Hello Ellen," John greeted her in a quiet voice.

"Jo here tells me you want to see Ash."

"Yeah, I need his expertise with something and know he's the best."

"You're still looking, aren't you? You've not given up this hunt."

"I can't. It killed my wife and it might be after my sons. I've got to try and kill it before something happens."

Ellen studied him for a moment, seeing the worry and stress in his eyes and knew he wasn't lying. He was a hard man to understand, but she knew he loved his boys and would do anything for them. She knew they were grown now, but she hadn't seen them in years.

"He's in his room in the back, Jo, honey go roust Ash for me."

"Sure Momma," Jo replied leaving them to get Ash.

"Thanks Ellen," John sighed as some of the tension left him. If he could get Ash working on finding demon signs, then maybe he would get lucky and one would lead him to the yellow eyed demon or at least to ones that might know the demon's plans for his son.

"How are your boys John?" Ellen asked.

"Sam's in a fancy college and Dean's…Well, he with another hunter for now," John told her. He didn't want to give away either location for his boys because you never knew who could be listening.

"Good for him. I'm trying to get Jo to enroll in college too. She can be hardheaded, but I think I'm getting through to her."

"It wasn't my choice for Sam, but he was bond and determined to do it."

"You have to let them go sometime John, maybe it was for the best."

"I hope so. I'm just scared I won't be there to protect him."

"You trained him well, remember that." Ellen moved away to serve another patron and left John mulling over what she had said. He had trained both his sons to be warriors, though Dean took to it like it was second nature, where Sam struggled at times. Had he done enough? Was Sam safe on his own at college?

He finished the beer and waited for Jo to come back with Ash.

A/N: Now we know what John is doing and neither are the wiser as to what happened to Sam. Thank you for taking the journey with me. I hope you enjoy the read. I do like reviews. NC