Lissa's eyes were open and she attempted to give me a smile. I radiated a smile back at her squeezing her hand tightly. She had not been able to say a word but her eyes spoke legions. She was happy to see me, she was happy to be awake and alive. But deep inside those jade eyes I saw the sadness I had been hoping she would not have to feel. I knew it was coming, but I had wished to spare her, even if there was no way to.
Lissa had been awake for a day. She had woken startled in the middle of the night, thankfully Olena had been there and had called me. I had rushed over as quickly as I could. When I had run in tears fell and sobs had ensued. I had hugged Lissa and she had hugged back as tightly as she could. As her eyes darted behind me I knew what she was looking for.
I had not wanted to tell Lissa her family was gone, but sadly she had looked around long enough to question me with her eyes. I had asked if she remembered the break in, the guys with guns. Sadly she had not, she looked confused, scared and started shaking. Her eyes had gone to the door numerous times before she let out a sound of pain and torture. No one coming in after me was all the confirmation she had needed that her small family had not made it. I had held her for hours afterwards trying to calm her cries. The pain she was feeling and showing was something I would never wish even on my worst enemy. Lissa loved her mother, father and brother in a way I had never seen before. They were beyond close. And seeing the pain of losing them take hold I wished I could help.
"Olena said your therapist will be by today. Well he's one of a few you will have. I think she said his name was Christian. Some sort of speech helper." Lissa nodded her head, I could sense her frustration with not being able to say anything but a few noises.
It would figure that Lissa's speech and memory would be the things to go. It made saving my ass that much harder but I wasn't going to tell her that. She needed to heal and relax if she was going to get better. I didn't want to add any extra stress to her already stressful day awake. She had also lost some of her fine motor skills. They held hope for a full recovery though. Although they hinted that her memory may never fully come back. Lissa was legit a miracle to all the medical staff. And I couldn't be happier that she was. Natasha had already tried to come and question her, but thankfully Lissa's doctor had shut her down pretty quickly.
"Tomorrow some lady named Meghann will be here to help with the fine motor stuff." Again Lissa nodded, this time her lightly petting my head as to assure me she was ok and understood. "And later on some other guy will be here to try and spark some memories."
She was being so strong. Stronger than even I was, but it didn't seem to surprise me. Liss had always been something else. Her need to make others happy and safe always won out against her own happiness and safety. That was proven to me time and time again throughout the years. I never knew it was possible for someone to be able to give so much. She had told me time and time again that's why she had become a nurse. She hated to see people suffer and if she could do anything to help she would.
"I won't be here when the therapists come. They told me they want your full attention. I'll head home for a bit and come back if you want?" I was rewarded with a smile and she laid back on the bed. Her eyes fluttered, she had been extremely tired after waking. A side effect of her coma.
As Lissa dozed off my mind wondered to the talk Dimitri and I had had a few days ago. I shook my head not believing still the things he had said. I wanted to trust Dimitri but at the same time I couldn't help but worry.
Flashback
"I know what you're going to say." I leaned against the wall trying to stay calm.
"Do you?" My eyes met Dimitri's and I was surprised to see a certain twinkle in them.
"That you regret it. That we can't." He took a step closer and I inhaled deeply.
"You know what they say about assuming Ms. Hathaway." He was a few inches away a smirk playing on his lips.
"Are you saying I'm wrong." Hope filled my chest as he came even closer.
"Nothing can stop me from being exactly where I want to be." He stayed a breath away as I took in his words.
"And where do you want to be?" He gave me a full smile teeth showing and all and I returned it.
"Right here." He closed the space between us, lips pressing firmly against mine. I needed more.
I wrapped my hands behind his neck forcing him to come even closer to me. Dimitri's lips were soft yet firm, there was something so manly about how he held them tight against mine. And when he started to move them against mine, I melted. Other than the Dragomir's I had never felt so close to someone, without even knowing them. Dimitri had become a constant and I didn't want him to go. But I had to make sure he was certain. I reluctantly pulled away, my forehead staying on his, my breathing coming out in short pants.
"Are you sure?" He started to open his mouth but I started before he could. "You promise me you're being truthful."
"Oh Roza of course I am sure." He sighed and pulled away slightly, his hands still at my waist. "I have never felt this pull towards anyone, ever. I know it's hard to believe, hard to think I don't have ill intentions. But I'm here and I'm here for you."
"You promise." I knew he had already told me so. But it was a huge fear of mine. I was falling for this man and it would kill me if he was using me.
"I wouldn't do that. I couldn't hurt you. I'm on your side. I will always be." He stared into my eyes as he said this and I decided to have faith. I had to, I cared too much.
"What if someone finds out?" I cringed back some, I didn't want to ruin the moment but I had to know. I had to know how far he was willing to go for me, as selfish as that may be.
"No one will right now. But if they do, I'll still be here. I tried to stay away, I tried to be professional but something about you. Roza something about you kept pulling me in." He put a strand of hair behind my ear and pulled me towards him. I let myself be engulfed.
"I'm so happy to have you." I sighed deeply afraid of what my next words may bring. "I thought I cared so much for the Dragomir's and I do. But the way I feel about you is something I cannot even explain."
"I know. I feel it too." I pulled him in even closer,
his words bringing tears to my eyes.
"Am I going to be ok?" I pulled away, but still held onto him.
"You will. I will keep you safe Roza." His words were dangerous but I held onto them for dear life.
"You promise?" I shouldn't have asked that of him, but I need the assurance, I needed to know he cared that much.
"I promise." And with that he pulled me back in for another kiss. This kiss was passionate, with teeth and tongue, and promises too deep to be spoken.
End flashback
My eyes lifted and I found myself staring at Lissa again. I wanted to tell her everything that had been happening, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet anyways. She had too much on her plate. But at least I knew I wasn't alone. The day I had woken up I had felt so lost, so scared. But now I wasn't, maybe I was, but I felt like I had some comfort. I had my Lissa my friends and now Dimitri.
I had to talk to Eddie and Mason about how no one could know about Dimitri and I. They had understood and swore themselves to secrecy. I knew Lissa wouldn't say anything either, even if she could talk. But I had to protect her. She needed to relax, not worry about helping me. Lissa had already helped me enough. She needed me now.
"Ms Hathaway." A detective I had never seen was at Lissa's doorway and I immediately stood.
"I'm sorry can I help you?" My eyes darted to a sleeping Lissa worried she would wake.
"May I have a word?" He flashed his badge and motioned for me to step out of the room, I complied.
"Is there something wrong?" I twisted my hands together fear inching into me.
"My name is Detective Tanner." He held out his hand for me and I shook it firmly. "I wanted to ask a question."
"Of course anything." I didn't know the man but Dimitri had mentioned him before.
"Do you recall any of the men that attacked you having a tattoo, well let me be more specific. A tattoo that stood out? A tattoo on their neck." I furrowed my brows.
I had been trying to put that day behind me, I had told the detectives many things about the men. Their hair color, skin color, eyes, height and build. I could have sworn I said everything. But a tattoo?
"I'm sorry I don't think I recall any certain tattoo. I mean I said one of them had tattoos but I couldn't tell you what kind." Tanner nodded and pulled out a paper.
"Does this look familiar?" He handed me a photo and I froze.
It was a picture of a tattoo, and it was one I had seen before. A small tattoo, that was plain and black was on the photo. Two tiny thunderbolts forming a small x. I had seen that tattoo on many occasions. And even the hair on the head of the person made me shiver.
"Yes I've seen that before." I swallowed harshly and returned him the picture quickly. "My mother had a bunch of those tattoos. Is that... is that her?"
"We don't have confirmation on the person in the photo, just that this tattoo has been linked to the Dragomir's and not in a good way. It's been used as a signature on some of their threats. Why would you think that's your mother."
"The... it's the hair. My mother had hair that red, and she had that same tattoo. That has to be her." My mind was spinning. How the hell was this happening. I hadn't heard or seen anything from her in nearly six years.
"Do you know where your mother is?" I was shaking my head no before he even finished the question.
"I left six years ago. She had been in Pennsylvania. I asked Eric once to check up on her. He said she wasn't at the address anymore. A neighbor said she had moved right after I left. He couldn't find her after that." I remember being hurt. If she had been planning on leaving why had she been the way she was.
Hours later I lay in bed thinking about everything else that had happened. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. My head ached so badly, and I knew it was because I couldn't get those tattoos out of my mind. I hadn't heard or seen my mother in over six years. She had up and disappeared, where had she gone? And did she have something to do with what happened to the Dragomir's. I knew she wasn't the greatest person, but would she kill? Was she upset I got a new life, and essentially a new family. Or had she gotten involved in something?
The circles my mind was going around in were making no connections. Nothing made sense to me. It seemed as if no questions were ever answered, instead even more questions seemed to emerge. I curled my body into a small ball as a small sob fell from my lips. It had been a week since Eddie and Mason had left and I hadn't fully broken down since then. But now I needed a good cry, again.
My head wasn't the only thing that ached, my heart did too. I wasn't certain I could take much more. My shitty childhood, living on the streets where I had seen and done things I never though I would , to my whole life being changed. To people I loved so much being killed before my eyes, to me almost dying. I was sick of it all, and all I wanted was to scream out why me. Why would the universe give me such love, such acceptance solely to take it away from me?
"Oh Roza." I felt arms wrap around me as Dimitri sunk in the bed behind me. "I'm here."
My tears grew in numbers as a fear hit me faster than I thought possible, what if I lost him too. His arms circled me turning me to face him, my cheek and ear against his chest. The steady beat of his heartbeat calmed me slowly as I cling to him.
"Please don't leave me!" My voice sounded desperate even to myself.
"I told you I wouldn't." He held me tighter, his hands rubbing circles into my back. "We will figure this out, I promise I'm here for you."
"I'm sorry." I let out a small chuckle as I pulled away, sitting up embarrassed at my breakdown.
"Don't be sorry, you have been through so much. So much Roza, I don't expect you to not cry." He came closer, his long strong fingers caressing my cheek so softly.
"I just wish the pain would go away. If anything it hurts more." I reached for my heart as if I could hold it and cuddle it to health.
"Come here." Dimitri grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap.
He tilted my head towards him by gently lifting my chin. He slowly leaned down, his lips wasting no time in finding mine. The kiss started out slow, steady. His lips and mine meeting over and over again, but soon he slipped his tongue past my more than willingly lips. The kiss picked up in intensity and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling myself and him closer. His hands curled around my hips almost painfully before he skimmed them past my ribs and towards the bottom of my breasts. I gasped loudly as his strong hands touched me so tenderly, I had been touched before but nothing had ever felt this good. And just as fast as it started it ended.
"Why did you stop?" Dimitri had pulled me away, both of us breathing heavy.
"I want to do so much with you Roza." His accent was deep and heady. "But I want to do us right. I want to woo you, take you out on dates." I smiled widely knowing as much as I wanted him I also wanted what he offered.
"I would love a date." He smiled widely at me, holding his hands out for mine.
"I need to go now, I only had a few minutes. But tomorrow, I only work the morning, and I'll come by for you. You and I, and nothing else." He smiled again, and I melted.
"That sounds amazing." He leaned in for one more kiss before pulling away and leaving. He had done exactly what I needed. I felt calm, content. Nothing was fixed, but nothing would be fixed by crying either.