A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, one day early, to everyone and hope you have nice day. We find out more about Sam and what he is doing. The next chapter will throw the brothers back together before Sam is ready, but he has to do it to save someone they love. I hope you enjoy the read. Reviews would make my day. NC

Chapter 17

The cabin was set back from the road and didn't look like he had any neighbors for now. He pulled the car up to the side of the place and got out to look around. A lake sparkled through the trees and he saw signs for hiking trails further down the gravel road.

Sam went to the front door and unlocked it to go inside. He walked into a nice living room and could see a small kitchen that was sectioned off by a half wall/bookcase. To the right was a bedroom and bathroom and he found a small deck off the kitchen that had a couple of lounge chairs, a table and a small grill. Sam turned on the ceiling fans in the living room and bedroom and opened a couple of windows before going out to get the groceries and his things. When he needed more food, he could go to town which was forty-five minutes away. It was perfect for his needs. He was renting it by the week and would stay here until he worked things out for himself and felt comfortable contacting his family.

Once he had the food put away and his things unpacked in the bedroom, Sam wandered outside and found the trail down to the lake. He walked the winding trail downward until it opened out at a large lake with a dock that had several canoes beached near it. It was picture perfect and Sam enjoyed the view for a while before heading back to the cabin, deciding it was time for dinner. He fixed a small meal and ate it on the back deck.

As dusk approached, Sam went inside and decided to start his research. He was lucky there was internet here, if you wanted to use it. The cabin had no television but did have a radio that sat on the half wall/bookcase between the kitchen and living room. He settled on the couch and began to look for articles on different types of psychic powers.

He made detailed notes and bookmarked some articles for later reference. This was all foreign to him and he wasn't sure how to test himself to see what he might have. He knew he could see demons in their meatsuit and could kill the demon's soul. He had a feeling he could hear people's thoughts, if he allowed it, after his experience at the train station. Sam knew he could move things with his mind but hadn't really mastered it to be comfortable using it.

One article caught his attention and he read through it slower and then thought back to the car salesman and his eagerness to do what Sam wanted. This made him wonder if Sam had some influence over him then. It was called compelling, making people do what you want by speaking to them and some, with practice, could do it with their mind. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure he had unconsciously done that to the guy. It didn't cause him any harm that he could tell, and it did get him a car at a very cheap price.

He was going to have to be careful; he didn't want to take advantage of people by using his powers on them. Sam never knew there were so many different types and after a couple of hours, called it quits when his head started to hurt and went to bed. At first, he couldn't fall asleep because of a dull headache. He got up and found water and Tylenol to take, hoping it would ease his pain. His body was starting to ache, and he felt lousy. He tried not to think of his brother and wondered what he was doing. After thirty minutes, he was lulled to sleep by the sound of the outdoors.

spn

Sam woke the next morning running a fever and feeling chilled at the same time. He lay in bed as his stomach churned and he felt nauseous. His body ached so much he could hardly move. Sam wasn't sure what was going on with him and wondered if he had picked up some type of illness while he was being held in Hell. Or was it something else. He was finally able to get up and stumbled to the bathroom to fall by the commode as the dry heaves hit and bitter bile filled his mouth. He spit and coughed hard, trying to rid himself of the foul-tasting liquid.

His entire body trembled and sweat dripped down his face. He sat back on his bottom once he thought he was done, realizing he wasn't going to make it back to the bedroom. Sam's body slowly slid to the side and he curled up on the floor wishing his brother was here to take care of him. Dean would know what to do. He would make him feel better. Every muscle in his body was screaming for him to find his cell and call Dean to come help him, but he knew he couldn't do that.

"Dee…" Sam slurred in a choked sob. "Dee…" he cried his voice cracking as his body shook and he clutched his arms around himself.

Soft sobs escaped from his lips and he moved enough to snag a towel to lay his head on since he wasn't going anywhere. Sam floated in between consciousness and being unconscious until early afternoon, not moving from the bathroom floor.

He worked on getting up to get some water from the sink, since he felt dehydrated. After he downed several glasses of water, Sam gurgled loudly and spat out the water that came back up. With what little strength he had, he crawled back to the bedroom and pulled himself up into the bed just wishing the world would stop spinning or he would just die and get it over with. He fell into a restless sleep hoping to feel better when he woke.

Several hours later, Sam woke to rain pounding on the roof and got up carefully to close the window. He was weak and exhausted but felt some better. Thinking a shower might help, he made his way back to the bathroom and turned on the water before stripping out of his smelly clothes and stepping under the cool spray. He shampooed his hair and washed down his body before shutting off the water and drying off. His stomach rumbled and growled wanting to be fed, so he went into the bedroom to find some sleep clothes before heading to the kitchen to decide what might be easy on his stomach. He settled for crackers and a yogurt and sipped on a bottle of Gatorade.

Feeling some better, he wandered into the living room and sat by the window to watch it rain until darkness made it impossible to see. Sam mulled over what he went through and wondered if it had anything to do with the demon blood he was forced to drink. He knew the symptoms he had were similar to withdrawals for a drug user. They seemed to be going away and hoped that was all he would experience and would feel better in the morning.

He wanted to train and do more research but couldn't do neither in his present condition. Finally feeling that he could sleep, Sam headed back to the bedroom, opened his window again since the rain had almost stopped, and got under the covers, letting his body relax into the mattress. As his mind started drifting away, a familiar voice whispered in his ear, 'I got you Sammy,' and tears filled his eyes before he finally let himself sleep.

spn

When morning came, Sam was woken by a new array of nature noises since he had left his window open through the night. He lay there listening to the sound trying to pick out the ones he knew. They were loud but comforting to him. Sam didn't feel as sick today and guessed he was over whatever he had the day before.

He looked over at the book laying on the nightstand by the bed and frowned as he concentrated on it and pictured it in his mind rising and coming to rest on the bed beside him. After a minute, the book shook slightly and rose slightly from the nightstand. Sam was surprised and lost his concentration making it drop back down. He huffed and tried again and this time it moved to the bed and he dropped it. He was pleased with the accomplishment, even if it was a small one.

He got up and changed clothes before heading into the kitchen for breakfast. Sam had decided to start a journal on his progress with these powers that he had. He wanted to track everything so he could reference back to it and what he could do hoping to better understand it all. This was so new and strange to him and Sam was concerned how others, especially his family, were going to see him when they learned about his powers. He planned on keeping them to himself as long as he could, knowing how hunters felt about psychics in general. Some would just as soon kill them, not thinking they were doing anything wrong.

Deciding a piece of fruit and yogurt would do for breakfast, he ate his meager meal and grabbed a water and power bar before heading out to check out the hiking trails. He chose an easy trail this time and followed it up the mountain to a ridge that overlooked the lake. It was breathtaking and he took a break long enough to eat his power bar and drink his water before heading back down.

Sam knew he needed to decide what to do about contacting Dean and their father, but right now he needed to get in the right head space. He still remembered what the demon had told him, that they didn't know he was missing and was not looking for him. He didn't know if it was true or not and it brought his mood down. He also wondered if his father would even care, John had told him don't bother coming back when he left for college and that still dug deep in his soul, causing pain and hurt.

He pushed those thoughts away and when he got back to the cabin, took his laptop outside and continued to study up on different psychic powers, how to access them, how to use them, and how to test for them. It was too much to take in at one time, so he decided to focus on the most common ones and work on them one at a time to see if he was able to do it. He knew it would take hard work on his part if he was going to master any of them and then thought, did he really want to do that? He already considered himself a freak with what he could do, would continuing down this path make him a monster?

spn

Sam showered and was going to turn in early since he was tired from the hike and from exercising his powers. He was finding out doing things mentally was as draining as doing things physically. After he showered and got into bed, he recorded the day in detail in his journal and planned for the next. Sam had always been the neat, list making, logical, analytical and a little OCD one between the two brothers. Once he had everything documented, he turned off the lamp and snuggled down between the covers, feeling more in control than he had since his nightmare had begun. He went to sleep thinking of his brother and wondering where he was and what hunt he might be on.

The following days went by quickly as Sam fell into a routine of hiking for a couple of hours in the early morning and researching and working on his powers the rest of the day. He would take time to eat and give himself at least a couple of hours to just relax and let his mind rest. If he started getting a headache, he would stop immediately, take something and rest. He pushed himself all the time, knowing he needed to be prepared if he found himself needing to use them. He worked on building his body back up again with exercises and jogging.

Azazel may have wanted him to use his powers for evil, but he was determined if he was cursed with them, he would use them for good and to help others. The powers themselves did not corrupt him, he was still Sam Winchester, and still had the same moral values and beliefs as before. He knew what was right and wrong and still had the underlying need to help others. Sam knew he wasn't the same person who left for college, but he could accept that. He just hoped others could too. This is the real me, he thought. This is who I am now and that could not be changed.

Sam was getting the hang of moving things with his mind. He worked on small objects and slowly increased the size and how long he could hold something with each attempt. He made himself work on it when he was hiking, moving things so it would be second nature to him. He didn't want to think about it when he needed to use the ability. He wanted it to be like second nature.

It took him a week to feel comfortable with the ability and tried to test his limits by trying to lift his car. He had to stop when a headache started, and he felt a wetness under his nose from a nosebleed, but the car did rise a couple of inches from the ground. He lost his hold and the car dropped back to the ground with a creak and groan. He looked the car over but didn't see any damage which he was happy about.

With that one more or less mastered, he moved on to another ability that he had found online. The next thing he tried was astral projection, releasing his spirit outside his body and traveling to another location. He worked on it for several hours but didn't seem to be making any progress. He couldn't seem to separate his mind from his body and didn't want to get discouraged so he moved on for now.

Not wanting to get frustrated with himself, he tried something that seemed simple, creating fire. By the time the evening of the fifth day of the second week rolled around, he could make a small flame in the palm of his hand and hold it for several minutes. He could toss it to something and catch it on fire. Sam was pleased with what he was learning to do on his own, but he felt guilty about not contacting his family, he wanted to see his brother, but still didn't feel like it was the right time.

It was hard not to reach out, but what would he tell them that would make sense. He was going to go to the office and pay for another week the following day. This was his life right now, one week at a time, one day at a time. His mind dwelled on this as he ate a small dinner and went to sit on the porch to read until it got too dark. There had been a shelf of books left there by previous renters to choose from and when he read, it calmed his mind of the racing thoughts that plagued him.