Anxiety. It's a more familiar feeling than you'd like to think. You took a liking to giving It a face. An identity with a name that you could blame and fight back against, even though it was more of a one-sided battle at times.

Sometimes it was so bad, you thought that your next breath would be your last. chest heaving, lungs squeezing and chest tight, pulse heard in your ears and cold sweat on your forehead. The last time you were in a very large crowd just fucked you over.

You tried to pretend that your anxieties were a separate entity from you, a thing that would always keep trying to get you down, so you wouldn't let it.

You tried to keep it in check, going to a consultant, getting help and whatnot, but you would never stay for more than a few weeks.

People made you nervous. Very much so. You didn't like them staring, you could always feel their disappointment as they looked at you. It's fake. They all hate you. You disappointed them somehow. They know. They know how you'll screw things up Y/N.

There were nights where you couldn't sleep because of those kinds of worries. You quit your office job and got into a home job. Wasn't easy, but you made it work. Found a way to make money by doing artwork, so you had that going for you, even though it was anything but a stable profession.

In a way.. you were scared. You had to get out into the world but it was so much easier to lie back, avoid crowds and come and go when the least amount of people were there.

But you felt alone.

Nobody there. Nobody to talk to. Nobody but yourself to keep company. Well, you and the cashier from the supermarket who always says nothing but "receipt" as she smacks her gum and looks at you with a look that could be translated into "Biiiiiitch I ain't got no time for your bullshit." Maybe she can only say "receipt", but her expression says more than words can ever convey.

Sadly, she's the only person in charge of the express line. But hey, it's fun to tell which kind of gum she's chewing.

Your track record with cats was pretty messy, and you didn't really like keeping animals trapped in your house.

So basic, dry human interaction was the only thing you were capable of doing with other people without getting too worked up.

But a bitty?

No, you'd screw that up even more. You didn't think of anything that you could mess up, but you know they'd come eventually. You're a trainwreck of a person who's barely holding at the seams.

You'll never get better.

Sleep. This is what your body craved. It was nighttime, 12:30 to be exact.

Overworking. This is what your body was getting instead of the sweet, sweet sleep it so deserved, and you, like an asshole, were pretty much giving a big ole' fuck you and your organs.

The more self-caring part of you said Wait! just think about your poor, poor heart, working since the day you were born and- yadda yadda yadda. This won't stop you from eating the shit you want.

But anyway, here you are. Having nothing better to do than to look up at the ceiling while Teddy is curled up on the other side of the sofa. His little tail wagged softly, up, down, over, around. Cuuuute.

You see his small torso rise and fall, but the process confused you. Does he even have lungs, or a nose to begin with? Where does the air go? Why does he need air?

Maybe you should kill some time reading about this instead. But nah. You don't wanna do anything now. You sipped on some cocoa (No marshmallows, because sadly eating too many at night gave you horrible indigestion. Your stomach of steel betrayed you, giving you a midlife crisis by the time you were 19.) and looked around. The house is pretty neat, really. Well, most of the mess is stuffed in the closet though, where you can't even bother yourself thinking about what you have holed up in there.

Who knows, maybe you could even find something cool in that darn closet.

Anyway, you got off of the couch very softly, trying not to disturb Teddy in the slightest; even though… he's a pretty heavy sleeper by the looks of it. That makes things easier, you supposed. You picked him up gently and carried him up the stairs and over to your bed. The bitty furniture would come in soon, but sadly you weren't the type to pay for one-day shipping. Sad for you, but not sad for your bank account. Once you had him tucked in, and you made sure that the door was slightly open in case he wanted to go out, you went over to the kitchen and got out the cat food. They were usually outside by now.

You got out a couple of large bowls and food cans, then filled another bowl with water and took everything outside. There. A cat came over and nuzzled your leg deceivingly, but you weren't falling for that trickery! Ha!

You got inside and had nothing else to do. Teddy was asleep like any other sane person (though he was noticeably tired at the same time of the pet store's closing time) and you already did everything you wanted to do for today.

You should really get a hobby.

Well, you learn something every day! You eyed the little box of candies Teddy brought you, but you preferred to eat those with him. You pulled out your phone and searched "HOW TO KNIT" unsurprised to see a bunch of results come up. It's time to show yourself that you aren't wasting your money on things you'll never use from Amazon!

You got the video up and ready aaand-

You need to dig your knitting set out from your closet.

Fuck.

After a long, LONG time of searching, getting distracted by whatever you found in the closet, then going back to what you needed to do after a half an hour of speculating and remembering things, you finally dug out your knitting needles, multicolored yarn (Which was a cool alternating black and white), your sewing it, and your radio, headphones, extra-fuzzy socks (You never get excited to wear these socks psh who would be happy to wear socks no matter how cool they are hahahahaha), music CDs you kept just because, and last but not least, your torn dog plushie.

It's time.

You headed back to the living room a stumbling but giddy mess because hey, you were finally doing this!

It was 5:30 AM.

You spent five fucking hours on this.

Oh.

Might as well make sure it wasn't spent in vain!

Fuck you anxiety!

*Anxiety has sent a new message.*

'But what if it fucks you back for saying that?'

Haha no.

'But what if-'

I said B Y E.

*Anxiety has blocked you from the chat.*

Once you were set up, had your snacks, drawing tablet *For sketching out designs duh*, socks, radio, and everything else mentioned ready, with everything so comfortable that there was no way for you to have any excuse to get up-

You need to pee.

Fuck.

Okay-ok- you got everything ready again, got yourself comfortable again, made sure everything was nice and diddly-dandy, but then your phone rang. What? Nobody you know would be in their right minds to call you at this time. If your stepmother needs a loan you swear-

It's 9 AM. And that was no ringtone, but an alarm to get up to go to the supermarket. You see, you had a bad habit of setting alarms for the whole week once you said you were doing something on a specific day, just for the chance that you missed it. You forgot to turn it off.

And Teddy started hopping down the staircase like a champ, saying that he was hungry and asking about what they were going to eat. "Oh wow. What's all of that? Are you going to make something?"

You laughed.

You giggled.

You cried.

Story of your life right here.

"Are you okay Boo?"

"Yep. Yepyepyepyepyep- I'm fine. How about we make the classic bacon and eggs, but with pancakes on the side?"

"I like that! I remember bacon!"

"Who can forget it amirite?"

Teddy nibbled on the bacon, smiling to himself, just a little. He had eaten most of the food but seemed to just indulge in the rest of it; you did the same thing once upon a time. Now you just shovel it. Maybe your body is trying to tell you to stop trying to substitute food for energy, but you told your body to do a lot of things before; it can't expect to demand things all of a sudden, gosh. Bodies are so entitled, thinking they're temples.

"Hey Boo, are we going to do something today?"

"Yeah; I'm thinking of calling a Tutor later to be able to teach you. It'll be fun! You'll be able to learn from home, and I'll hire a real nice one so you can have fun while you're being taught."

He seemed a bit unsure. "I think you'd be a better teacher. You're nicer."

"You wouldn't know that, Tedds. C'mon, let's give the tutor thing a chance, okay? If you don't like it, we can opt for a better option. Right?" You aren't good enough.

You'd mess things up trying to teach him.

You'd fail.

It would be your fault.

"Y-Yeah. I like that."

"That's great Tedds! You're pretty brave, you know that?"

"Really?" Tail wag. All the tail wags.

"Yeah! Bravest kid in Ebbot for sure. " You pet his head softly and his eyes widened happily.

"I'll make you proud, mom!" He doesn't even realize that he let the word slip out. You don't mind.

Mom, huh?

Well, fuck. You're gonna be the best mom. Better call yourself Karen, because you're totally taking this kid. Okay fine that one was messed up.

"I'm sure you will, Tedds."

You call the tutor a while after, but she laughs when you say she'll teach a bitty, and a purebite nonetheless.

"HAHA! You- You've gotta be kidding me! Those illiterate things can't learn shit, lady! BAHAHAHAHA-"

You hang up and try again. The tutor looks more professional, but he politely declines in a professional way, saying that you should opt to paying to train the bitty instead. You become grossed out at the thought and you hang up.

You call another tutor. They raise the prices because it's a bitty, then when you mention that they'll teach a purebite, they hang up.

What is up with these people?!

You looked back at Teddy, who was playing with the dino plushie. He could talk to you perfectly well- sure, he stumbled on a few words here and there, but he's a freaking eight year old, what more can you expect of him?

You called one last tutor. You begged for them not to hang up and to just hear you out. You tell him that Teddy can learn, and has been learning all this time. You explain that he has been very adaptive and can absorb new concepts easily. He stays on the line for a moment, listening to your claims before he interrupts you.

"Look, I'm sorry, but in this world, bitties weren't made to learn. It's like trying to teach a toy how to do their ABC's, and I don't think anyone will want to do what you're asking right now unless they want to scam you out of a couple hundred bucks."

"Life is cruel that way."

He hangs up before you can speak. The sound of the hang up tone lingers with you even after you put down the home phone.

Teddy notices your sour mood and walks up to you, grabbing a fistful of the soft fabric of your pajama pants and giving it a light tug to grab your attention. "You okay, Boo?"

"I'm fine… I just.."

You looked at him to see him staring at you worriedly, little lilac eyes shining back with a faint glow.

"It's like trying to teach a toy how to do their ABC's."

A toy.

"…Teddy, why is the world so… mean sometimes?" you muttered.
He looked at you a bit more before sitting down next to your legs and hugging the plush next to himself for comfort of sorts.

"I.. I don't know. I think it's because… maybe people are hurting, and they want others to know that they're hurting, so they make them hurt too. It's not really good, but you have to remember. If nobody is going to be good, you can at least try to be good instead… right?"

You looked at him incredulously to see him smiling at you, happy to see you anything but sad.

"You're the best Teddy."

"I know."

"I'm glad you do."

…If nobody was going to want to help you, you were sure as hell going to make things work for yourself. You ran up the staircase and opened the closet of doom and hoarding and- alright alright fine I get it. You got out old books you kept for some reason or another out of your closet, as well as a notebook and some pens and papers.

"So Teddy, looks like I'm going to be your teacher from now on."

He brightened and walked over to the table where you placed your things there, as well as your computer and your phone.

"Thanks, Tddy. For everything, I mean. Let's get those chocolates out."

*Bonus scene!*

The two sat on the small dining room table, one seat was propped up heavily with books for a little skelly, while the other had cushions for a picky human who couldn't stand sitting on wood in fear of squishing her butt too much.

*Hey!*

Okay, I get it. Moving on. (where were we again..? oh, right-) A small box of candies has already been emptied, it's contents being little upside-down hearts made of chocolate. Needless to say, the picky human was shocked, mostly because the wholesomeness of it all got her just shy of a heart attack.

*Shooketh to the core.*

Whatever she said. There were books on the table and two mugs filled with cocoa and marshmallows. A smaller mug lay next to the *Precious little angel that has blessed the earth by exis-* Dammit woman stop interrupting me- Ahem. The *Beautiful soft babbin-* Shut it- er.. like I said about the-.… Ha, you're not interrupting now, are you? Good. The-… You KNOW why I paused my spiel, don't be coy, Y/N. Don't you have any conversation etiquette?! Hmph. Like I was saying, some books were open and some papers lay strewn across the table, while a pencil (That was shaved down too much but Y/N kept anyway for some reason… Maybe you should stop hoarding, Y/N. That closet of yours is getting very concerning.) was held in a much smaller hand.

"Now that's 'A', there's 'B'…" She said softly so he could understand it.

A tiny tail wagged slightly in place as the bitty focused on his lesson while chewing a marshmallow from the drink. They both had cocoa mustaches, but Y/N was the only one aware of it. She still didn't take it off. Weirdo.

*I would say a snappy remark but I'm kind of in a corner on this one so…*

They saved eachother, in a way… (sniff)… I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE-

*Jeez, don't be so exaggerated, omnipresent narrator. We aren't even real- mmf! MFF!*

They don't need to know that. Also, where are the tissues? (where are you pointing..?) Oh, there? Gotcha. I'm gonna raid your house by the way, Y/N.

*Good luck with finding something of value.*

I can just get your Keurig, blu-ray player and laptop.

*Wait NO-*

The narrator—is running around the house right now- so uh..- Bye for now!

*Teddy, go to your room, okay? I soundproofed it. Veeery good, just walk right over there, I'll close the door; you have your toys and stuff and I'll come back, okay? Good. Now, GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF EDITH OR I'LL KILL YOU!*

Screams echo out in the distance. Is it safe to say that this is non-Canon?

I DIDN'T EVEN NEED THIS! YEET-

*THAT HAD SO MANY CDS TO GO WITH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, BITCH!*

I CAN JUST WRITE ANOTHER ONE INTO EXISTENCE, CRAZY ASS!

*IT WON'T BE THE SAME! I-IT NEVER WILL!*

HA YOU CRYING- Shit! CDS ARENT SHURIKENS, Y/N!

*NOW THEY'RE GONNA BE!*

…Knowing the reader, probably not. Don't worry, why would I make myself a self insert anyway? In a reader story? That's so meta.

Oh, right. She's still throwing the CDs. If you don't see a chapter in more than a month… then it's probably cause I'm lazy to do it. Words can't kill, duh.

*I wish they did.*

I'll cry myself to sleep about it.

Thank you for following this story, and expect more from this as time goes by!