Kailor: Hello, loves! You know how life can be. I'm sorry for the wait, but here we are! Welcome back aboard!
Quartermaster Aubrey is fairly intimidating up close. She nods sharply when Chloe joins her in the hall and it makes her want to straighten up, all of her lessons on posture rushing back at once. "Chloe, was it?"
"Yes, Quartermaster."
"I'll do my best to make your training simple. I know Emily has shown you around today. Did you learn anything?" Quartermaster Aubrey jerks her head for Chloe to follow as she heads off down the hall.
"Honestly, not much. It was quite a lot to take in."
The quartermaster hums in what Chloe thinks is agreement. "You'll catch on. Before that, let's get a few things out of the way. Rules, some standard for the crew, some solely for you." She turns a corner and Chloe quickens her pace to stay with her. "Crew rules that you need to know: Anyone found carrying a lit candle free of its lantern receives twenty lashes with the whip."
Chloe's stomach tightens painfully at the thought. She understands the rule. Carrying an open flame on a wooden ship would be unsafe. But the harshness of the punishment terrifies her.
"No money is to be exchanged over games of dice or cards. Gambling is a land game. Anyone found breaking this rule will receive twenty lashes." Quartermaster Aubrey continues, as if reading from a text. She slows to a halt outside a door that Chloe can hear voices and laughter behind. "No striking one another aboard the ship. Any disputes are to be taken to land and settled with a duel. If you do strike another crew member, you will get lashes, the amount decided at the captain's discretion. Lanterns on deck and down below in the sleeping quarters are to be put out at nine o'clock. If anyone wishes to stay up after that time, they are to do so up on deck to not disturb those going to sleep. Do you understand?"
It's simple enough. No open flames, no gambling, no fighting, and bed by nine. "Yes, Quartermaster."
Quartermaster Aubrey nods sharply. "Now, for you. Should we be engaged in any kind of combat, you are to return to your room unless instructed to do otherwise by myself or the captain. There is a bar under the bed you can use to lock the door. One of us will come for you once the battle is over." Her bright eyes lock on Chloe's and one eyebrow lifts. "This is for your safety as well as everyone else's. We cannot have you getting under foot during a fight. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Quartermaster."
"Lastly, for now," she adds. "At all times, you are to stay with me, Boatswain Stacie, or someone we give you clear instructions to stay with. This is, again, for your safety. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Quartermaster."
She nods. "Good." She clears her throat and when she speaks again, it's much softer. "And you can just call me Aubrey. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." She steps back and sweeps the door behind her open.
The voices rise louder as she steps inside. There are tables, laid end to end, running the length of the room, and there are women everywhere. They shout and laugh, passing drinks and food back and forth over the tables. There's some kind of card game going on in the corner. It's not as messy and uncivilized as she would have imagined, but it's louder than any dinner she's ever been to. Wilder.
Warmer.
"Chloe!" Emily calls, leaping up from her seat to wave her long arms needlessly. Even sitting down, she towered over her crewmates. "Come sit with us!" Across from her, Stacie waves her over as well, so she moves to join them.
She takes a seat between Emily and a tall, thin woman with dark hair to her chin that smiles politely as Chloe sits.
"This is Alex," Emily says, nodding to the woman. "And her sister, Kara." On Alex's other side, a woman with honey-blonde hair gives Chloe a wide smile. "They're good people."
"Hey!" another dark-haired woman says, brow furrowing. "You say that as if we aren't all good people!"
"We aren't," the woman beside her says with a smirk and a wink.
The first woman shushes her, reaching out to shake Chloe's hand. "I'm Amberle. Ignore Eretria. She's an idiot."
"Better an idiot than a pampered brat like you," Eretria huffs at Amberle, but she nods politely enough to Chloe.
And then she's being introduced to more and more women. Laura, Hope, Ava, Willow. There's too many names, too many faces, for her to remember, but she recognizes some of them as the women she'd seen working up on deck. At some point during the introductions, a plate of heavy meat and vegetables is placed in front of her and she realizes how hungry she really is. She hasn't eaten since the day before. Her last dinner at home. So she stops trying to place faces to names and tears into her food in a way that would leave her lady's maid gasping, but the women around her don't even blink at it.
Like her clothes, it's so, so strange. But she feels freer than she has in years.
Just after lights out, Stacie takes her up on deck.
The sun has set and there are far less women at the helm and the ropes. Most of them are gathered in a small huddle near the bow, drinking and singing. But her attention is drawn beyond them, beyond the flapping sails, to the sky.
Chloe is struck mute by the sheer amount of stars. Back home, there had been trees everywhere, leaving only a small patch of sky visible from her window at night. But here, the sky goes on forever and the stars with it. The ocean is dark and endless. Waves rise, crested with frothing moonlight, until they fall back into the pitch black water. And the ship that had seemed so large and intimidating to her in the day, suddenly seems so small. Everything feels small, under the vastness of the stars.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Stacie smiles as she settles her elbows on the railing.
Chloe joins her, leaning out to watch the ocean lap at the sides of the ship. It's cold enough that Chloe's breath turns to mist as soon as it leaves her and she wishes she had brought her cloak. But she stays there, watching the water. "It is."
"The first time I ever boarded a ship, I was fourteen." Stacie reaches out, letting the sea spray against her open palm. "I stared the same way you are now. It feels impossible, doesn't it? To have so many stars in the heavens that I had never seen."
Chloe breathes in deeply, overwhelmed for a moment by the strong, salty wind and the sparkling sky. There's no Thomas here. No Father. Just more stars than she could ever hope to count.
"Captain," Stacie says, pulling Chloe's attention from the sky and back to the deck. The Crow stands a few feet away, hands tucked behind her back and eyes as dark as the water.
Someone at the helm calls to Stacie and she straightens, giving Chloe's arm a reassuring squeeze. "I'll return in a moment." She moves to the stairs, nodding to the captain as she passes.
The Crow takes her place by the railing and Chloe shivers, certain the night wind has suddenly grown colder. She doesn't look at Chloe or give any other indication that she knows she's there at all. They just stand in silence, both watching the ocean.
She doesn't know what prompts it. Perhaps it's the uncomfortable quiet or some notion that she should be polite and try to speak with this woman. Or maybe it's just her fear forcing her to fill the silence. Whatever it is, it surprises even her when she opens her mouth and says, "Captain, may I ask you something?"
The Crow doesn't answer right away. Her head tilts, moonlight catching on her earrings, and she looks up at Chloe. They're close enough now that Chloe can see the Crow is actually a little shorter than her. It doesn't make her any less intimidating. "Yes," she says, fixing Chloe with a gaze so piercing that she wonders briefly if the Crow can see straight through her. If she already knows the question.
Chloe swallows the wave of anxiety that rises to burn at her cheeks. She wants to ask for the truth. For a clear deal to be made, out loud, between them. She wants to hear the captain say she plans to bed her as payment for this journey, so that she knows for certain. So that she can stop waiting in dread and unease for it. This unvoiced arrangement scares her. The constant fear that the captain will suddenly appear at her door or have Chloe delivered to her quarters makes it hard for her to breathe, to sleep, to think.
She's made her decision and she can't take that back. An offer was made, silent though it was. Anything, everything, to get to Spain. She can do what needs to be done.
But she would really like to stop worrying about it every second that she isn't distracted by Emily's happy rambling or Stacie's quiet admissions about stars.
Every second she spends in the Crow's presence.
"Are you going to ask or should I attempt to guess?" The Crow's dry voice startles Chloe back to herself. She hasn't moved, her gaze as steady and cold as ever.
"My payment." The words fall from her lips before she can try and place them in order. "I want… I wanted to ask about my payment."
The Crow remains still, unblinking.
Chloe sucks in a quick breath, hearing her voice rise a little when she continues. "I need to hear you say it. I know when I arrived, I… I offered the captain—I offered you my-my—" She stutters to a halt, face burning even in the cold air. She closes her eyes, breathing in as she counts seven seconds, then breathes out for six. She opens her eyes and finds the Crow unmoved. "We made a deal that night, obviously. You are bringing me to my aunt's, so of course an accord has been reached. But we never spoke the deal aloud. And I need to hear you say it."
The Crow's brow creases so slightly that Chloe barely catches it. "What exactly do you wish me to say?"
She's toying with her, Chloe thinks. Playing with her, forcing Chloe to humiliate herself by saying it. And alongside the fear and anxiety, anger suddenly rises as well. It's so quick that she has no time to get a handle on it before she speaks. "Say you plan to claim my body as payment for bringing me to Spain," she snaps. "Because you don't perform charity and because I have no coin to give, yes? Just say it. That's what you pirates do. You just take things, whether they truly wish to be given or not." She grits her teeth, face nearly painfully hot. "I made my offer because I had nothing else and you're taking advantage of that. I don't regret doing what I had to do, but your threats and listings of the ways I owe you are cowardly. Just say it, Crow."
The Crow stands rigid before her, face unchanged. Then her chin lowers just a hair and it's as if her entire being shifts. Something dark and angry seems to bleed out of her very skin, reminding Chloe that the one and only time she'd snapped at Thomas, she'd had to stay inside for weeks before the bruises faded from her face.
And just like that, her anger gives way to paralyzing panic. She stops breathing completely, hands gripping the ship rail until her knuckles turn white. Her entire body braces for the hit.
A muscle in the Crow's jaw ticks sharply and Chloe's gaze flickers to it. She struggles to pull in a breath deeper than a shallow gasp. Shivers race up her spine that have nothing to do with the cold.
The Crow steps away from her slowly. Her breath hisses out, looking more like steam from a dragon than mist. And when she speaks, the words burn across Chloe's skin. "Think highly of yourself, do you?" Her dark eyes track down Chloe's body and back up, her heavy gaze nearly tangible. Her lip curls. "Trust me, Princess. If I wanted you in my bed, you'd already be in it."
"Then how—"
"You will work off your debt, just as I said before. You go where we tell you and do what we tell you, without complaint and without disrespect." The Crow bares her teeth as she growls, "Pirates we may be, but watch what you accuse us of, Princess. Or you'll be delivered to your aunt piece by piece." She storms off, leaving Chloe gaping beside the railing.
The tension slides so quickly from her body that it leaves her dizzy and shaking. She lowers herself to the deck, sucking in cold air that rips at her throat. Vaguely, she hears Stacie calling her name. But she keeps her head down, staring at the churning water below.
She's safe. The Crow had made it quite clear that she isn't interested in bedding her. She just needs to work. And though relief crashes into her like the ocean crashes into the ship, a small part of her burns with humiliation and shame at the same time. She'd lost her temper on a pirate known for her violence and bloodlust. A woman whose name is rarely said above a whisper, for fear of calling down her wrath.
Over the last year, she's felt close to death many times, but she feels it may have barely missed her tonight. She presses her forehead to the baluster and forces her breathing to calm down. She just has to work and stay out of the captain's way. She's safe. She's free.
She doesn't look at the stars again.