Kailor: Hello, darlings! This chapter's a bit longer for you all! Happy weekend!
Aubrey knocks on her door the next morning.
It takes a few moments for Chloe to get the door unlocked. When she retired for bed the previous evening, she remembered Aubrey mentioning the bar under her bed. The Crow's dark eyes had suddenly come to mind and she'd pulled it out and barricaded herself in.
"Good day," Aubrey says once she's opened the door. Chloe knows she must have heard the scraping of the bar being removed, but she doesn't mention it. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did," Chloe says, though she had tossed and turned most of the night. "Yourself?"
"Yes, thank you. Are you ready?" She looks at the rumpled shirt and breeches Chloe's wearing.
"Ah, just a moment, please?" Chloe waits for Aubrey to nod before she ducks back into her room to quickly straighten her shirt and tuck it in. She pulls on her vest and boots. Her hair is tangled and needs a wash, but she fights her fingers through it enough to braid it. She's just about to shut the lantern that hangs above the desk when she catches sight of her bag lying near the end of the bed. Acting on a sudden impulse, she pulls it open and digs out the balled up fabric near the bottom. She unrolls it on the desk, taking a moment to admire the shine of her mother's favorite necklace in the firelight. The emerald is small, but beautifully cut. Set in silver with a matching chain that is light as air.
Chloe used to play with it when Maman held her. The stone had looked much larger then, squeezed between her pudgy fingers.
"You will have this," Maman used to whisper in her soft French, "when you are bigger."
She expected to be completely grown when Maman passed it on. Possibly on her wedding day, as she put on a gorgeous dress and excitedly thought of the love of her life waiting at the altar. She thought maybe Maman would bring it in then and put it on her. Tell her what a beautiful bride she was and how lucky her husband was. But instead, Maman had pressed it into Chloe's tiny fingers with shaking hands a few days before she died.
"I'm not bigger, Maman."
"I know, ma souris."
She tucks the necklace into her vest pocket and then picks up the bent coin that had been wrapped up with it. It's a Venetian ducat, poorly made. It was old long before little Aine Donahue had given it to her in the town square and said they'd always be friends. She'd died not even a year later and Chloe had only the coin left of her. The design on the front is crumpled and worn away. She doubts anyone would accept it as payment anymore, but she drops it in beside the necklace and buttons her pocket closed anyway.
Aubrey claps her hands together as soon as Chloe joins her in the hall. "You will start today with Ven. Which means we need to find wherever she's sleeping. And then she'll take you to get breakfast and bring you to Perry for your haircut."
Chloe can't even imagine not having all of her hair. She was a child the last time her hair was shoulder-length or shorter. She shoves the thought aside, focusing on the rest of what Aubrey said. "How many places could Ven be?"
Aubrey laughs suddenly, a startlingly friendly sound from the stiff woman. "Ven is small. The Belladonna is large. What do you think?"
"Aren't there sleep quarters down below?"
Aubrey nods as she turns, heading off down the hall. Chloe follows. "Yes. You and the officers have their own sleeping quarters on this level. The rest of the crew sleeps in hammocks and bunks beneath us. Ven has her own quarters not far from yours, but she rarely uses them."
She thinks about asking why, but then decides it would be rude.
Aubrey sighs and continues, not seeming to notice Chloe's silence. "Honestly, half of a quartermaster's job is babysitting the crew. Ven is one of many that I must keep a sharp eye on. But she is one of the captain's most trusted crew members, so you'll be safe with her." She slows long enough to glance over her shoulder at Chloe. "If, however, she has any ideas that don't seem safe, please report them to me."
Chloe frowns. "Does she often have unsafe ideas?"
"As often as the breeze blows." Aubrey turns down a set of stairs, snagging a lantern off the wall as she goes. "Up and at 'em, ladies!" she shouts into the darkness below and a chorus of groans and curses answer her.
Chloe steps off the stairs and finds more lanterns being lit. The space is open and wide, hammocks hung every few feet and bunks lining the walls. A young blonde nearby pulls a fur blanket over her head to hide from the light.
Aubrey grabs the edge of her hammock and shakes it. "Up, Saltzman. Don't make me tell you again." They continue on, between the rows of hammocks. She stops beside another blonde that is already up and dressed. Chloe recognizes her as the first pirate she'd seen after Stacie and the Crow—the one with the wide, friendly smile. "Jessica. Have you seen Ven?"
"Um." Jessica purses her lips, glancing at Chloe. "I think she slept in the captain's quarters last night."
There's a pause, during which it all comes together for Chloe. She guesses that answers her wonderings about whether or not the captain takes women as lovers. It's a realization that brings last night rushing back to mind and she turns away to hide the embarrassment threatening to burn through her skin.
"I see," Aubrey says softly, nodding. "Thank you. Get the rest of the girls up."
"Yes, Quartermaster."
Aubrey leads her back upstairs and down one hall, then another. She stops at a door on the right. Chloe stares at it, hoping to find something that makes it stand out from the others. Anything to let her know how Aubrey knows this door is the one she wants. Because they all look exactly the same to her.
Knocking lightly, Aubrey steps back. Chloe moves with her, staying a step behind and clasping her hands together to keep them from fidgeting.
When the door opens, Chloe forgets worrying about fidgeting or anything else.
Because the Crow is standing there in just chest bindings and a pair of loose-fitting pants that sit low on her hips. The skin of her stomach is smooth, flawless and pale. There is ink on her wrists, scattered up her forearms, over the curves of her shoulders. Her eyes are narrowed, heavy with sleep, and there's a shirt hanging from her hand, as if she'd grabbed it on her way to the door but been too tired to put it on.
"Aubrey," the Crow says. Her voice is rough and sleep-hoarse. A shiver runs up Chloe's spine, born of something warm and strange curling in her stomach. Politely, she averts her gaze from the bare skin before her.
"Good day, Captain." Aubrey's voice is a little louder and more cheerful than before and the Crow's nose wrinkles in distaste. "You wanted Chloe with Ven this morning."
The Crow's eyes flicker over Aubrey's shoulder to Chloe, then back. "Come in." She steps back into the room and Aubrey follows. After a hesitant moment, Chloe does as well.
There's a creaking and the tap of fingers on metal as the Crow fully opens a lantern on the wall, revealing a small room with nothing but a plush divan and a simple table in the center. Then she slips through a door on the left, leaving it slightly ajar. There's some quiet rustling, then a much louder "Ow!" and the Crow returns. Her shirt is on now, tucked in neatly. She barely glances at them as she moves over to the divan and settles into it, crossing her legs.
The silence grows and stretches until it's clear Ven isn't coming out. Chloe glances between the other two—Aubrey idly watching the lantern flame and the Crow staring at the floorboards. Chloe shifts uncomfortably.
"Aubrey." The Crow's voice whispers across the room and Aubrey nods, slipping through the still open door.
As soon as she's gone, Chloe can feel the Crow's gaze burning into the side of her face. She takes a deep breath and turns to meet those dark eyes, ready for the anger she'd seen last night.
But the Crow doesn't look angry. She looks...pensive. Though her eyes are on Chloe, it feels like she's looking far beyond her.
She stands still, unwilling to stir the Crow from wherever her mind has gone, and just stares back. The Crow really is beautiful. Pale, with sharp angles at her jaw and her elbows. She thinks then that the Crow probably has no issue disappearing into a crowd. Sitting back on a divan in the light of a fully opened lantern, she seems physically unimposing at first glance. She could blend right into the rest of the world, small and innocuous. It would be easy for her.
Except for her eyes. Anyone who caught her gaze would see the danger there, the power.
It's while she's thinking this that the Crow's gaze suddenly focuses. Gone is the absentminded staring and Chloe's stomach clenches as the Crow locks eyes with her. She'd been right. Perhaps she could pass for a normal woman if someone weren't paying her much attention, but there's no hiding the pirate captain in those eyes.
There's some more quiet shuffling and the door opens fully, making Chloe jump. Aubrey steps out. Behind her Ven pads quietly, vest on, but unbuttoned. Sluggishly, she rubs a fist against her eye and pouts at Aubrey and the Crow. Then she sees Chloe and her pout switches to a bright, sleepy smile. "Good morning!" And to Chloe's utter shock, she bounces right over to pull Chloe into a warm hug.
"Good morning," Chloe offers back, glancing over Ven's shoulder at the Crow. Her face is still, impossible to read. Since she seems to have no issue with her lover showing affection for others, Chloe looks away from her and gives herself just a moment to enjoy the hug. It's been a long time since she's been hugged by anyone.
Ven pulls back with a happy hum and buttons her vest. "I am starving. Are you hungry?"
"Ah, yes."
"Wonderful." Ven salutes the Crow and Aubrey with a flourish and heads out the door, tugging Chloe's sleeve so she follows.
She tries to convince herself that it's just her imagination that makes her feel the Crow's gaze on her back until the door shuts behind them.
In the hall, there are women moving about now. Their greetings are subdued and tired, but friendly enough. They pass the wide stairway that leads up to the deck and Chloe sees it's still dark out. She tries to hide her yawn, but Ven catches it and laughs. "Are you not used to rising before the sun?"
"Not at all."
"You'll learn." Ven spins to face her, walking backwards down the corridor. "First—after food, of course—I'll take you to see Perry to get your hair chopped. Then we'll get to training! Do you know anything about sailing?"
Chloe shakes her head, brow furrowed. "Sinking is bad?"
Ven's laugh is a bark that startles her, but also pulls her own lips into a smile. She can't remember the last time she actually made someone laugh. "That's a good place to start, I'd say." She twirls with a dancer's grace, but nearly crashes into a corner. "Oop!" She chuckles, dodging around it, and Chloe can't help but laugh too. The anxiety that had settled over her upon seeing the Crow is gone now.
It's much quieter in the dining hall at this time of the morning. There are fewer women scattered about and no card games. A couple of the crew members have their heads resting on the tables, getting a little more sleep before they go to work, she assumes. Stacie is sitting near the door, one hand picking at the remnants of her breakfast and the other holding open a thick, leather-bound book. She looks up when they sit across from her and grins. She waves to someone over their heads, letting the book snap closed. "Ashley! Tell Rosita two more!" Her hand drops back to the book, simply resting on the cover. "How are we feeling today, ladies?"
"Great!" Ven says, glancing to Chloe for her answer.
"Indeed," Chloe agrees. "Very well."
"Good." Stacie takes one more bite and pushes her plate aside. Her hand rises from the book, flipping it open again. "What are you going to do with her today, Ven?" she asks, eyes on the page.
"Ah." Ven peers at her with one eye, the other closed as she rubs her fist against it. "I thought we'd start with teaching her how to shoot a cannon. Maybe get her climbing the shrouds. Or," she perks up excitedly, "we could take a dive from the poop deck!" She grins up at Chloe. "Do you like sharks?"
Stacie's narrowed gaze slips up from her book. Ven grins at her too. The exchange assures Chloe that Ven is jesting.
Just in case, though, she resolves to find out what "shrouds" are as quickly as possible so she doesn't climb them.
"I can speak to sharks," a voice whispers and Chloe jumps. She turns to find a new woman sitting on her other side, straddling the bench seat. Her long black hair frames wide, unblinking eyes that Chloe can almost see her reflection in. It takes a second to recognize her when she isn't upside down, but after a moment, Chloe realizes this is the woman who was hanging from the mast yesterday.
"Lilly," Stacie says, eyes back on her book. "Be nice."
"Aye!" Ven leans around Chloe to glare at their new breakfast companion. "No biting."
Lilly hisses at her, then goes back to staring at Chloe. It makes her distinctly uncomfortable, but Ashley appears with a plate of food for her just then. Chloe stares at the chunky eggs and slices of apple. She really is hungry, but Lilly's burning stare on the side of her face makes her a little afraid to lift the fork to her mouth. She glances back up. Lilly still hasn't blinked. She does, however, glance down at Chloe's plate, then back up to her face. A few seconds pass and she does it again.
Cautiously, Chloe lifts one of the slices of apple from her plate, intending to eat it. But she finds herself holding it out instead. To Lilly. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ven go still with a bite halfway to her mouth. Stacie looks up from her book.
Lilly leans in, sniffing at the slice. Her nostrils flare almost impossibly wide, her eyes round and disconcertingly bright. Then, slowly, she opens her mouth.
Perturbed, Chloe quickly drops the piece between her teeth and yanks her hand back. Lilly leans away again, happily munching on the apple. Her eyes never leave Chloe, but there's something faintly lighter in her glassy eyes and Chloe takes that as a good sign.
When they finish eating and leave the table, Lilly follows.
"Looks like you've made a friend," Ven laughs.
Perry is a shorter woman with rounded hips, wild red curls, and light blue eyes. Much like Aubrey, she has an air about her that makes Chloe want to check her clothes for food stains.
"Hello!" she says the moment Ven leads Chloe into the room. She puts down the rag she'd been wiping the floor with and stands. Then, much less chipper, "Oh, no! Lilly, out!" She glares over Chloe's shoulder at Lilly, who's hovering in the doorway.
"Go, Lilly," Ven says. Lilly hisses, but slinks back into the hallway. Ven follows her out, closing the door.
"I'm sorry about that," Perry says, accent perfectly clipped and proper. "She tends to steal my things." Her brow furrows. "Or eat them." Her hands flutter about, indicating the room. There are neatly organized shelves with bolts of fabric and folded shirts and pants. Pincushions sit in a perfect row on the desk and a mannequin stands in the corner, wearing half of a shirt. "Anyways. I'm Perry," she says and Chloe nods as though she hasn't already learned the name. "You must be Chloe. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you, as well."
"Oh, that's kind of you to say. Come, come. Take a seat." Perry pulls the cushioned chair away from the desk. "The captain said we'd be cutting to your shoulders, yes?"
Chloe nods, stomach turning again at the thought. It's just hair, she reminds herself. She takes a seat as Perry pulls the cover off of a gilded mirror mounted on the wall in front of them.
She moves to stand behind Chloe, smiling at her in the reflection. "You have beautiful hair, if you don't mind me saying so, dear. It really is a shame to be cutting it, but safety first, of course." She turns to pick up a pair of scissors from the desk that shine brightly in the lamplight. "Would you like to keep some of the braid?"
"No, that's fine." Chloe shakes her head. What would she do with it? Keep it in her room as a reminder of the sacrifices she's having to make to be free of Thomas? No, it's best to let it go.
"Okay, dear. First cut then. Stay still." Perry lifts the braid from Chloe's back and the scissors whisper open.
Chloe closes her eyes, not wanting to watch the first cut. The biggest one. She can feel it though, the way the weight lifts from her head with every snip, until finally she feels Perry pull away. Her head is suddenly so much lighter and she opens her eyes to look at her reflection.
When Ashley had given her new clothes, she had barely recognized herself. And now, with hair falling forward over her shoulders when she turns her head, the "barely" disappears and she just simply does not recognize herself. She thinks that her own father would probably not realize who she was if he passed her on the street. It's just her hair and clothes, but somehow her whole face looks different now. Something subtle and simple is changed and tears spring suddenly to her eyes. She blinks them away, blowing out a steadying breath. It's ridiculous. She hasn't cried all this time, she won't do it now over a haircut.
Perry's hand is suddenly there, warm on her back, rubbing in soothing circles. "I know you must be…" She sighs, shaking her head. "It's hard, adjusting to life at sea when you're a lady."
A clenching pain shoots through Chloe's chest and she locks eyes with Perry in the mirror. She's obviously not a pirate and she's been called "Milady" a few times, but Perry's comment sounds more knowing. More certain. Like she might know exactly who Chloe is.
Perry smiles. "Yes, the crew knows you're a lady. Well, the ones I've talked to anyways. We can tell by the way you carry yourself. People raised the way you and I were, well, we usually have a hard time letting go of our posture and language lessons."
Fear crawls hot up her throat and she fights it down, so it isn't in her voice when she says, "You know who I am?"
"No," Perry says, pouring cool water all over the terror in Chloe's chest. "Just that you're a lady. It's not polite to ask guests about their backgrounds. Unless, of course, the information is offered." She busies herself with Chloe's hair, drawing a soft brush through the few tangles left. "Which is what I'm doing. I was once a lady too, so I understand more than most how you're feeling now. If you have any questions or concerns, I'm here for you. Or if you just need a friend aboard the ship."
The last friend she truly had was little Aine Donahue and she had died when Chloe was barely seven. Every friend she's had since then has been the daughter of one of her father's connections or a cousin of a member of the city guard that happened to attend the same balls. She knew nothing of them besides their names, who they were related to, and which dress designers they preferred. Nothing past the surface. So Perry's words call to her on a level so deep that it nearly brings the tears back to her eyes.
Instead, she puts on a smile that doesn't look as shaky in the mirror as it feels. "Thank you, Perry. I would like that very much."
Perry gives a smile of her own, moving to another part of Chloe's hair with her scissors. "It's not just me, you know. The vast majority of the crew are wonderful women and would happily be your friends. If you were interested." She bends to pick at a few of Chloe's curls, judging the length of one against another. "Most of them are...uncouth."
Chloe smiles at the slight grimace that crosses Perry's face.
"But good people. Overall." Perry snips another lock shorter and steps back. "There. I think that looks quite nice. You have a good face for shorter hair!"
She's right. Chloe leans forward for a closer look as she reaches up to run a hand through her curls. They end so abruptly at her shoulders. Chloe tosses her head back and forth, curls bouncing against her cheeks. "It's so strange," she says, gathering it all into her hands to feel how light it is. "My head feels so...weightless."
"We did cut off quite a bit." Perry turns to her desk and exchanges the scissors for Chloe's severed braid. She holds it out with both hands and Chloe marvels at how long it truly is. "Are you sure you don't want to keep some of it? It really is quite beautiful."
She eyes the frayed end of the braid, where it had once been connected to her. All those years of growth...severed so quickly. And it's just hair, just a simple braid. But those years it represents were lonely and horrible. It is just hair, but she feels better without it. "No. Thank you."
Perry nods as if she understands, and perhaps she does. She drops the braid back on her desk. "Do you need anything else, dear? Or do you have any questions?"
She does. She wants to ask how Perry went from being a lady to being here, on a pirate ship. But she knows she would feel guilty asking Perry about her past without revealing some of her own and she isn't ready to do that. So she just shakes her head. "No. Thank you. For everything."
"Of course." Perry pats Chloe's shoulder in a move that's almost motherly and turns to pull the door open.
Ven sticks her head in and whistles a trilling note when she sees Chloe. "Looking good, Red! It suits you."
Perry reaches out suddenly, dragging her fingers through Ven's wild hair. "You know, it's time for you to get a trim too, Ven. Your hair is always in your face and—"
"Did you hear that?" Ven asks, twisting away from Perry. "I think I hear someone calling me. It's probably important. Must go. Chloe? We're going!" She grabs Chloe's wrist, tugging her out of the room.
Chloe gasps as she's dragged into the hall. Perry's voice follows them, yelling that Ven better come back before nightfall, but Ven just keeps running. It's childish and ridiculous, but it makes Chloe feel almost giddy.
She laughs all the way back up to the deck.