The melancholy life as an Immortal Demon
Volume 1 Chapter 1
Issei Hyoudou was a second year high school student at kuoh academy.
The number of years he spent living his day to day life was also the same number of years of him not having a girlfriend. Sad right? Despite being famous around school, it should've been easy to be asked out by a few girls. Who knew being a renown pervert would keep you from getting laid. Bah! He was just being honest with himself, he was by all standards a normal typical hormone teenagers after all, perfectly normal! You might have noticed and be asking yourself already, why is he speaking to himself in past tense?
You see, Issei Hyoudou was dead.
Or at the very least he should be dead. To be honest, he wasn't quite sure were he was at right now. The last thing he remembered was being stabbed in the chest by a spear of light from his girlfriend Yuuma-chan. Or was it Ex girlfriend now? She did try to kill him after all. Damn it! He should reach out and grope her chest if only he knew he was gonna die that day! Hold on, was he even dead!? Looking around he stood in white room filled with a bunch of stuff you'd typically see in an office. Off to the corner he could see a giant book shelf filled to the brim with different manga collections of series if he's never even seen before.
"Meow~!"
"Ah, let's see here! Hyoudou Issei...it seems you've had quite the unfortunate encounter today. It was a short life but I'm afraid you've passed on."
Those were the first words Issei heard since arriving at this place. He heard the door creaked open ever so slightly as a small child's head poked through. With a black cat meowing on his shoulders, the child entered the room carrying a pile of books way bigger than himself seemingly with no effort. The cat hopped off Issei's shoulders and on the desk. The young boy with blond hair hopped on a seat behind the desk and leaned back getting comfortable. The boy scratched underneath the cat's chin.
"Good job, Kuroneko. You've brought someone interesting this time." The young boy prised. The cat huffed and shot him a dirty look as if it wanted to respond sarcastically with 'This time!? You find someone then?'
Maybe he was reading too much into this?
"Umm. Earlier you said I passed on?" Issei spoke. "Is this an out of season april fools joke? I'm clearly alive speaking here with you. Where even is here? And who the heck are you, kid!?"
"Do you not have a soul?" The boy smiled wistfully. "Whether it be called purgatory, the after life, or the great beyond. This place is the resting ground for all who have perished, you're no exception to that rule."
"You mean I'm actually dead?...Like dead, dead?" Issei was nervously for whatever answer he would give.
"Dead, dead like a ghost." The boy stated.
"DAMN IT ALL! I DIDN'T EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY! Let alone my first kiss...I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED BE THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH! IS THERE NO GOD IN THIS FORSAKEN WORLD!" Issei cried out.
"I'm mean there was the catholic one but he's kind of...dead...Anyway, to answer you question- "
"Wait, hold the phone! Where not skipping that part!...Did you just say god, as THE ALMIGHTY GOD IS DEAD!" Issei exclaimed.
"I mean...I wouldn't exactly call him almighty...after all he's been dead for like forever and a half ago. Much like you are right now."
"Geeze, you don't hold back on your words do you?" Issei was now sulking in his chair being reminded of his situation. "So what now? Am I gonna be judged and sent to hell or something, cause I don't believe in god you know?"
"Hahahahahaha!" The boy laughed and then asked. "And what makes you think I brought you here to be judged?"
"Is that not what happens after one dies? They supposed to get a sentence weather there going to heaven or hell?"
"Bah! If I have to judge every soul that wandered into my domain, than I wouldn't have much time to watch any anime." The boy waved his arms. "That's a waste of my time, damn it! I never signed up for that, screw that! That ain't my job, you can pick and choose where you wanna go for all I care."
"Is that so?" Issei could kind of understand. It would be hard to judge every single soul, it would be a pain to do so for eternity. Either that or he was just super lazy at his job. He could also relate to that. "But I don't wanna move on, I still have dreams to achieve. I don't wanna die like some virginless loser! I'm gonna be a harem king one day!"
The boy and the cat looked at each in deepan expression before the boy gave Issei a thin smile. "Well then do I have a proposition for you Hyoudou-san. Maybe we can help each other out?"
"Like how?" Boy was Issei confused.
"You ever heard of reincarnation?"
"So I'm getting Isekai. Is that what your trying to tell me?" Issei asked.
To that the young boy and the cat sighed simultaneously.
"If that's how to simplify things, sure."
"Sweet, I'm in!"
It was an ordinary for one Rias Gremory as she passed through the gates of Kuoh academy which worried her. A few days ago, she had received reports on a group of fallen angels being active within her territory. Had she acted this information sooner she might have prevented the death of Issei Hyoudou. He had died in her arms moments after summoning her through the passing flyers her family hands out to form contracts.
A shame really.
She could tell at first glance that he possessed a powerful sacred gear. Whether it would benefit her or not was irrelevant at this point. He had already passed on before she could reincarnate him. Still, she was annoyed by the fact she lost a potential family member right under her thumb by the fallen angle no less.
"Ufufufu, If you furrow your eyes like that you'll gain wrinkles before you hit a hundred years old." Akeno who strolled up behind her laughed.
"Not now Akeno, I'm contemplating my life choices right now." Rias spoke.
"There was nothing you could do." Akeno lectured her friend. "He was on death doors by the time you got there, at least you sent him off properly."
Sent him off properly. She could have done so much more had she acted sooner. But her [Queen] was right, there's no use in crying over spilt milk. She had a duty to enact, to gain more members for her peerage. To grow stronger, so that she can break free from...'him.' She can't do that moping around all day. That when she froze in tracks. Akeno gave her a look of confusion well deserved.
There he stood, Issei Hyoudou alive and well. Arguing with his two friends Matsuda and Motohama, together the three of them are infamous known as the Perverted trio.
"I'm telling you she's real, we even went out the other day! I'm sure I introduced you to her the other day!"
"Like we believe you can get a girlfriend before us!" Matsuda exclaimed.
"Face it Issei, the likelihood that any of us could score a girl is close to zero." Motohama seethed. "The sooner you accept that your imaginary girlfriend is fake, the better it would be for all of us."
"Okay, first off...harsh dude but fair point." Issei admitted. "Second, I'm not lying. Look, I even got her number here see...Ack! It's gone!" Issei took out his phone to show his friends his contacts only to show up blank.
"Like we said we don't know this Yuuma girl you keep talking about, right Motohama." Matsuda stated.
"It's not like we don't believe you, but the thought of you having a girlfriend is scandalous." Motohama confirmed.
"You guys really don't remember her?" Issei asked downcast.
Three perverts remained silent as the crowd around them gathered. The beautiful Rias Gremory slowly made her way over to them with a small scowl married on her lips.
"You!" She pointed at Issei.
"Me!?" Issei blinked momentarily pointing at himself.
"Him!?" Matsuda and Motohama repeated.
"Him!?" The student body echoed.
"You're not supposed to be here. I saw you that day. In my own arms." Rias eyes flashed with guilt. "How on earth did you survive!?"
"Wait, you were there, that was you!? I'm not sure how, I just woke up in my room" Issei furrowed his eyebrows. "Does that mean you know about Yuuma-chan?"
"Good Lord, shut the fuck up!" A voice called out. "Can't you see I'm trying to peep in peace!"
"Kyaaa!"
The door to the female changing room slid open as young boy over five feet even with messy blonde hair stepped out. This was Akira Ayuma, the schools most infamous delinquent child. The woman inside the changing looked just as surprised to see him as everyone else as they quickly covered up there body.
"Whoa, Nice!" The perverted trio unanimous agreed in giving him a thumbs up.
"Huh! It's you!" Issei eyes widen. "That kid from earlier."
Rias scowl turned into a frown upon seeing...him. "Can you not get into trouble for one day? Sona is gonna have a field day with you."
"Bah! Here I was minding my own business. I would've gotten away with it to. Until, I heard your lovely voice." Akira smirked. "And so, I decided to piss you off because why the fuck not?"
"Ufufufu," Rias could feel Akeno strolling up besides her laughing to herself. "It's quite fun teasing her isn't it? Still though, naughty boys needs to be punished for their misconduct."
"Akeno!" Rias cried out.
"Tch! Do you have to be such a killjoy? Misconduct, please! Peeping is an art cultivated by man throughout history." Akira scoffed. "If anything,
"And what of it, you'll be responsible to punish me? You can certainly try. If you can. Hmpf-" Akira tilted his head to the left dodging an incoming book thrown from behind him, instead hit Issei square in the face.
"Ack!" Issei groaned. "Why me!?"
"How long do you plan to linger here!?" One of the girls in the changing room asked.
"Yeah, get out you pervert!"
"Get him!"
"Oh boy, that's my cue to scram!" Akira ran up to Issei and whispered. "Meet me after class, we have much to discuss."
"Don't let him get away!"
"Mwahaha! You'll never catch me alive!" And with that, Akira ran off with a bunch of girls chasing after him.
Issei scratched his head. "Seriously, what just happened!?"
"I swear I'll never understand that boy." Rias said with a sigh.
"Ara, Ara. We should get going as well, don't want to be late for class as well." Akeno reminded her king.
"Wait a minute! Er...senpai! About Yuuma-chan...?" Issei intervened.
"Ah, Hyoudou-san was it?" Rias asked with a strained smile. "Sorry will have to talk another time. Best wishes on your studies." And with that, the two schools beauties left the reverted trio alone. Issei frowned.
"Ah, man...what a bust. Gak!"
"Okay Issei, talk! You have till the count of three before I snap your neck." Matsuda growled as he snaked his arms around Issei neck in a choking hold.
"Just what on earth is your relationship to Gremory-san!" Motohama snapped. Issei could only watch on with a deadpan sigh.
He just wanted answer too damn it!
Afterwards...
"So enlighten me on your situation." Sona said adjusting her glasses. The two sat in the student council office playing a 'Nice' friendly game of chess. Oh let's face it, she was totally interrogating him.
"I don't know, do you want the long or short story?" Akira asked.
"Long story, please...indulge me." She seethed.
Akira shrugged. "You sure? Okay, you asked for it. It all started when I was still in my mother uterus-"
"You want me to throw you out!?"
Akira snickered. "You wanted a long story, my only intent was to comply with your demands."
"My demands are to keep the facts straightened out so that I can determine the best appropriate punishment for a particular student who has way too much time on his hands instead of focusing on his studies." She nearly spat out.
"In my defense, there aren't a lot of hobbies that could kill my boredom."
"You were caught with multiple eye witnesses saying you perving inside the girls changing room. Do you abide by their accusation?" She pressed on.
"Hmm, to be caught means to catch me in the act right?" Akira mused. "Let's get one thing straight. I let myself be captured."
"So that's a yes, then why go through all this trouble?" Sona asked.
"For the same reason you keep challenging me to chess. I could call your sis and invite her for some fun, So-tan~"
*Vroom!**Boom!*
"You will do no such thing understood." Sona hissed. She held up her hand from firing off her magic at Akira.
"There was no need to destroy half the poor office!" Akira exclaimed.
She noted this...supposed human, showed very little reaction or surprised towards her magic. What else did he know about the supernatural? Or at the very least, what her sister didn't tell him.
Sona coughed looking mildly embarrassed. "Admittedly not my best moment, do refrain from mentioning my sister...ever...again...and I won't expel you."
"Duly noted."
Their exchange in chess had gone on for awhile with Akira having the disadvantage on the board. Sona moved her piece to capture his own.
"Check."
"My what a troublesome opponent." Akira hummed.
"You should give up, you have no more moves to make." Sona reminded.
"And that's where you're wrong," Akira declared. "Check is only a declaration that enemy's king is about to be taken. I still have a few pieces left on the board as long as I have that I can still fight."
And so, Akira moved his pawn turned queen into another position causing Sona's eyes to widen in shock.
"And that's checkmate." He smirked.
Sona stared at the board.
Akira stared at her...
"A blind side attack." Sona sighed. "You purposely left you're king defenseless so your pieces can focus on taking control of the field. Some would call that a reckless endeavor."
"Maybe." Akira shrugged. "But it worked on you though."
"Indeed, your tomfoolery aside, you're dismissed with two weeks detention." Sona sighed is if she foresaw the inevitable. "Though knowing you I doubt you would show up willingly."
"Nope. Never."
That smug little prick!
"Just get out here! And remember not a word about...this!" She motioned her hand around the chess board. "To anyone, do I make myself clear?"
"Scouts honor, princess." Akira laughed. He stood up to leave the room leaving Sona alone in her though as she scanned the board. Moments later she heard a commotion in the hallway. "Hey everyone! I just beat the queen of chest at her own game! Now bow down for I am now your king of the school! Mwahahaha!"
She buried her face into her hands. Why did her sister have to befriend the most annoying person at their school?