Chapter Three
Daily Struggles
Aster trudged to the school, staring into space. The world around her seemed to be compromised of blurred shades of green and brown. One foot in front of the other.. One in front of the other.. One in front of the other… Idate was stumbling beside her, talking incessantly.
"I can't believe that.. Can you?" he turned to glance at her, barely keeping from tripping on another skewed tree root.
She sighed, subconsciously noting the paused in his voice, but not answering.
She's not listening… Idate glared at her, crossing his arms. Making a point to bump into her, he pushed in front of her, his feet thudding against the ground angrily.
"Idate?" she came out of her stupor.
He ignored her, disappearing into a throng of kids in the distance. Aster stopped, staring at her feet. We were on good terms less than an hour ago… How could this happen?
Someone bumped into her from behind. Aster spun quickly, surprised. "Ida-?" she stopped. The little boy was the same height, probably the same age, and had the same hair style has her own brother, but there was no mistaking the difference. The boy backed up, shaking off the run in. He gave her an embarrassed and terrified glance before dashing away. That was odd…
Shrugging it off, she ambled toward her class. The other children glanced at her. Some gave her silent sympathy while others glared in open loathing.
"Did you run into a wall or something?" A blonde pigtailed girl stood forward, blatantly pointing at the bruise on her face.
"Y-yeah…" Aster lied, not wanting to tell what had really happened.
"You're so stupid!" the girl twisted her face in disgust. "I honestly don't believe you'll be eligible to test for genin! It's sickening to think of the level of trash we're letting into our shinobi cells."
"I-ichigo, it wasn't," Aster sighed, not sure how to finish. This had become a daily routine.
"How hard did you hit that wall? You can't even talk anymore, not that you really could before…" Ichigo smirked, folding her arms in triumph. A few kids laughed, shaking their heads and muttering as they headed to class. "You're really pathetic…"
Aster lowered her head. She almost wanted to go home, but it wasn't safe there either. Hikaru couldn't protect her here, she was alone in this. "Thank you for telling me… again."
"Your welcome," she turned on her heel, trotting after her small group of friends. Aster sighed, swallowing her pride and hurt to make it into class.
The day moved slowly. None of what Iruka was saying made sense to her, no matter how hard she tried to absorb herself into listening to his lecture. Snide remarks seemed to hover around her, but she sat quietly, not disputing what they said. Her mind wiped itself as the sun rose higher and higher, then beginning to come down after noon. It's almost over…
Aster sighed. There wasn't anywhere to go but home. Home was the last place she wanted to be, at least that's what it seemed like while she was there. Right now, school was definitely much worse. In a few minutes, she'd wish she was still here instead.
The bell rang suddenly, causing her to jump. Ichigo yelled something that would have been unpleasant, if Aster had been able to hear it. The classroom was almost empty before she moved from her seat. Idate would be upset with her for making him wait, if he had even stayed behind to walk home with her. Most likely he was already halfway there.
Dragging herself, she got out of the bench-like seat and made her way towards the door. She was almost there, almost free, when Iruka caught her by the shoulder.
"Aster, is everything alright?" He was obviously concerned by the bruise on her face. "What happened?"
She forced a smile. "I uh.. ran into a wall," Aster laughed softly, but the merriment of the sound didn't reach her features. "It's fine now," she continued, seeing his suspicions in his eyes. "Hikaru niisan took care of it.." Forcing another smile, she pulled away.
Iruka pulled back. "Aster," he gave her a serious look. "Your grades are dangerously low. If you don't raise them, I can't let you even attempt the genin test…"
She bit her lip, taking a shaky breath. "What do I do to raise them?" I can't fail! Mom and Dad will be so mad… If I fail… Panic formed in her chest, making it hard to breathe properly.
"I think you need help," Iruka paused, letting the words take effect. "There's an after school class. Not many children are in it, and I think I can give you the help you need."
Aster smirked at him, relieved. "My brother can help me, Sensei. I don't think I need the after school class."
Shaking his head, Iruka voiced his opposition. "I don't think you understand. You need he-"
"No, I understand Sensei." She looked at him with an unnatural maturity for a child. "I'll be on the test, guaranteed." Smiling with a melancholy confidence she turned away to find Idate.
She dashed out the front doors of the academy to see Idate shuffling out of the gate. Shifting the school bag on his shoulder, he continued on, away from her, oblivious to the sound of her footsteps.
"Idate!" Aster waved after him.
He turned slowly, his face was a cross between a grimace and a scowl.
"Idate! I'm so sorry I-" She stopped short. "Idate?"
Her little brother gave her a pained glare. "I don't know why I bother anymore… Just leave me alone…"
"Otouto! What are you talking about?!" Unsure what to do, Aster reached for his shoulder, trying to bring him closer to her.
He jerked back suddenly, causing her to jump. "Don't."
She felt useless again, and despite her own efforts, the desire to cry was starting to get the better of her. "Otouto… Will you please listen to me? Talk to me, I want to understand… I want to help!"
"Help?" He snarled. "You make promises you can't keep… You're never there when anyone needs you, you always let people down! Will you just give it up already? You're making me sick!" Idate hadn't raised his voice, but he was panting as if he had screamed at her. There was a tense silence as he watched her fight the urge to cry and bite back. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.
Aster watched, paralyzed, as he ran. Hikaru would chase him… He would say the right things at the right times. Niisan would make Idate see, he would be able to help him… I'm not like that. I couldn't help anyone, not even their life depended on it…
I'm useless.
Idate squeezed his eyes shut, running as fast as he could. He didn't understand why he was doing this anymore. Tears were slipping out of his grasp and down his cheeks and his face was burning with shame.
It didn't seem like he would ever be able to let of go this grudge against his sister. The animosity was rooted into him too deeply. He loved her, but it his tender feelings for her lived in the shadow of his hate. Memories of her were racing through his mind, but he couldn't remember why he hated her so much.
Has it always been this way? Wasn't I ever able to have a peaceful moment with her? He wanted to scream, suddenly angry at himself. It wasn't hard to see how badly he hurt her. But there were so many things pent up inside him, no matter how he tried, they seemed to always escape around her. Why am I so cold? Why do I-!!
His thoughts were cut short as he ran headlong into someone.
"Idate?" Hikaru kneeled down in front of him. "Otouto? Why are you crying?"
Startled, Idate gasped before glaring and rubbing his eyes. "I was not crying."
Hikaru laughed softly. "Yeah…" he muttered sarcastically. Then in more serious tone he added, "It's not a bad thing to cry."
Idate sighed. His shoulders fell limp as he realized he had been tense. It was a hard thing to do, he wanted his brother with him, to comfort him. But someone needed him more, even if Idate had tried to deny it. "I think you should go find nee-chan." He wanted to say more, but he couldn't decide where to begin.
Hikaru raised his eyebrows, but he didn't question him. "Okay, otouto." He stood, giving him one last pat on the shoulder before turning away. "Idate, be careful… I'll be back soon."
He didn't answer as his elder brother disappeared into the dark foliage. There was nothing he could do at this point. Sighing to himself, he continued home slowly.
Hikaru made his way toward the academy, feeling that he would find her still there. He knew his little sister, she would stay in front of the gate, unsure what to do next.
"'I want to help!'" Ichigo mimicked. "You're pathetic!"
Aster turned slowly and a tear slid down her cheek.
"And to top it off you're crying! You're sickening to watch…" The girl sauntered over and a few of her 'pack' emerged behind her from surrounding trees.
"Leave me alone," Aster glared at her. She'd had enough of this. It was going too far.
"Oooh! I'm so scared! The little cry baby is getting upset girls!" Ichigo smirked as the other girls laughed.
"Ichigo, go home." It was an order as Aster stood straighter than before.
She laughed. "As if you have any authority over me. Why don't you go home?" Aster's eyes widened. "Oh, that's right, you don't have a home, do you? I suppose I should feel sorry for someone whose own mother wants her to die…" Ichigo grinned wider as Aster's tension made itself plain to see. "But you're just so pathetic! I have no sympathy for someone like you…"
Taking a menacing step forward, Aster hissed back, "Good. I don't want your sympathy." Aster tightened her fist, still advancing on the girl. "YOU'RE going to need sympathy when I'm done with you!" Swinging her arm in a wide arc, Aster struck at Ichigo.
Ichigo side-stepped her and caught the punch. "Like I said, you're pathetic."
Aster faked another wild strike and kneed her in the stomach. "Who's pathetic now?!"
Doubling over, Ichigo released her and turned to her followers. "Help me! She attacked me!" Aster gaped as she burst into false tears.
Four other girls came at her, all throwing nearly perfectly aimed punches and kicks. Aster swayed, trying to dodge as much as she could, but one swift shin to the face knocked her to her knees. Before she could recover, they pulled her down. One sat on each arm, another had her hair, and the last was fighting with her ankles.
"Let me go!" She was screaming as loud as she could, hoping for help. "Stop it!" she cried as one of her arms was twisted and someone pulled her braid.
Her shrieks were cut short as Ichigo jammed her foot into her ribs. "Did you learn your lesson yet?" she sneered.
"Let me go!" Aster broke into tears as the overwhelming misery of the day came back to her all at once.
"Apparently not…" Ichigo pulled her arm back, fist raised.
Hikaru turned a corner and the mirthless laughter of a group of girls reached his ears.
"I guess you won't try to order anyone again… Will you, Aster?" The group's cold laughter was louder and chilled him.
Panicking, he broke into a run.
Ichigo glanced back. "Guess we'd better go, girls." The other four's eyes widened in horror as they noticed the sound of Hikaru's footsteps.
As he turned the corner, the girls disappeared from view. He stopped, his breath caught in his chest. "Aster?!"
She shifted slightly on the ground.
"Aster!" He rushed to her side, sitting her up. Bruises were already forming, and several small cuts were tracing blood down her face and arms. She doubled over, coughing violently.
"N-niisan…" He pulled her hand away to see more blood. "I'm sorry."
Hikaru pulled her closer. "Aster! What could you possibly have to be sorry for?!"
"If I was stronger… I wouldn't get beaten up," She leaned against him tiredly.
"Aster, don't say that." But his words were too late as she fell unconscious in his embrace. Shaken to the core, he picked her up and began to carry her home.
He reached the house quickly, but was hesitant to enter. As he realized there was no other place he could go, he also realized he would have to take her past their parents.
Stepping softly, he slid through the doorway with Aster limp in his arms. Walking carefully, he was almost half way to the staircase.
"What the hell happened?!" Their father asked, raising his voice.
"It's nothing someone like you would be concerned with…" Hikaru glared back as Aster shifted against him.
"She's my daughter, and you're my damned son! It's my concern, whether you like it or not!" He advanced on them and Aster blinked, waking to the sound of his angry yells.
"Then why aren't you concerned all the time? Are people asking questions again?" Hikaru hissed, hugging his sister to his chest.
"N-niisan?" Aster mumbled, waking slowly.
Hikaru heard her gasp in fright as their father grabbed his shirt neck and thrust him into the wall. "I'm the adult here. YOU listen to ME."
Twisting his shoulders, Hikaru broke free of his grasp. "Then why don't you act like it?" He didn't give their father a chance to answer as he bolted to his room.
After shutting the door firmly behind him, Hikaru gently set Aster down on the disaster area he called a bed. She rolled her head to the side slowly, surveying him with the look of a frightened animal.
"Go to sleep." He ordered quietly.
She sighed, letting her body relax and sink into the tangled sheets. "Niisan…" Her voice broke, "Will everything be alright?"
Hikaru repressed a sigh and forced a smile for her. "Yeah. Of course it will."
Aster answered with a weak grin before falling into a deep sleep. Just as he began to relax at the foot of the bed, a small knock resounded on the door. Hikaru's body tensed as his thoughts first jumped to his father, but he quickly realized the sound was too soft. Idate. He opened the door slowly.
"Niisan…" Idate peered past him, only seeing Aster curled in a heap on the bed. "Is nee-chan alright?"
"She will be," he answered hesitantly.
Tense, Idate shuffled into the room, huddling at her bedside. "N-nee-chan…"
She stayed still, barely even moving with her breath. Regretting what he had told her earlier, he slid into the bed beside her. Normally he would have been embarrassed to hug his sister, but this was different.
Idate fell asleep with his arms around Aster and his back against Hikaru.
Yep.. I cut it off kind of abruptly.. I'm sorry, my creativity only goes so far. C: I did most of this whil listening to 'It's the Fear' by Within Temptation. Great song! So yep, this is my 'Christmas Update'! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Hey, you want to give me a present? Revirew! XD