Kate felt like she was walking on a cloud as she floated down the path to where the fellowship usually spent their evenings. She could hear the hobbits laughing and singing, probably good and well drunk by now, and broke out into a run.
Finally, she felt like she was doing something right, that she had carved out a small part in this world that belonged to her! Something she truly believed in! It didn't matter to Kate that this small victory didn't actually belong to her, or that she might only have this joy for a short while.
She didn't care, she was happy for now; happy in this strange world with her strange little family.
She ran into the clearing, ruffling Pippin's hair and she ducked between the hobbits to pluck a few pieces of fruit off their plate. She laughed at their shouts of outrage and bounded toward Aragon flopping down beside him and popped a grape into her mouth.
"You seem pleased! I have not seen you smile so much since I have known you. It is good to see it." The man commented, shaking his head as she offered him a piece of fruit. "And what has you in such a joyful mood?" He asked, smiling widely at her.
"It has been a really great day." She said simply, but continued on, explaining the opportunity she now had to assist Nestaron. "And…Oh! Hey, did you know that Legolas is a prince? Because I feel like you knew." Kate accused lightheartedly, sitting upright now. Aragorn shrugged in response.
"Yes." He replied evenly.
"Oh…would have been nice of you to share that tidbit of information." Kate muttered trying her best to appear nonchalant as she pulled at the blades of grass around her. "A little embarrassing is all."
"It was not my information to share. What reason would you have to feel embarrassed?" He asked and then paused, lifting a hand to silence her reply. "No, do not tell me. I do not wish to know." He decided, letting out a weary sigh and laying back down on the grass.
"Oh, good grief!" Kate laughed, despite herself and playfully dropped a handful of grass on the man's face. Aragorn snorted in amusement but didn't move, too tired to stop her. "I was only going to say that it was a little embarrassing because I felt like a bad friend. Kind of an important thing to know about someone…I think. I don't know, I haven't had a lot of experience with Prince's, or friends for that matter."
"Would it have made a difference if you had known?" Aragorn asked, eyes still closed and decidedly unbothered by the blades of grass strewn across his face.
"Of course, it would have. I mean…no? I guess not really. I don't know." I probably wouldn't have kissed her for one. God, Kate you're such a fool!
"Well, then I assume it is why he did not tell you. He is not obligated to divulge that information to you, Kate." He replied and Kate rolled her eyes in surrender.
Of course, he was right, Aragorn was always right. Is this what it's like to have a father? Kate wondered absentmindedly.
"No, I know he's not. It's fine, it's just…we are friends…it would have been nice to know." She retorted, quietly.
"You hold secrets of your own, do you not? No one would blame you for keeping them, think of the ramifications if you yourself were so free with that information." He offered. "It is wise for him to not offer any information that would put him in a compromising position. Especially when we have such a difficult journey ahead of us all."
"I see your point." She conceded, and began to wipe the blades of grass off her uncle's face. "Is that why you don't reveal who you are? Because of the danger you could be put in…or people treating you differently?" She asked quietly, ready to apologize for overstepping at any moment.
Aragorn was silent, thinking, eyes still closed and Kate wondered if he had fallen asleep, an incredible feat considering the noise the hobbits were making, and now Gimli too.
She laughed as she watched the dwarf and hobbits play some kind of drinking game, falling all over themselves and singing silly songs that Kate didn't know the words to.
Even Frodo had joined them, and seemed to be having fun. Frodo was looking quite well actually; well rested and he full of youthful vigor. Good for him she thought happily.
"No. It is because I am not sure I want it." Aragorn answered at long last, so quietly that Kate almost missed it. "Boromir says you are doing well with the sword. He said he has seen a measurably improvement since Rivendell. Well done." Aragorn praised, changing the subject. He opened his eyes now, sitting up when he realized sleep was not going to be an option for him now.
Kate raised her eyebrow skeptically.
"He is being overly generous in that assessment, I promise you! Nice of him to say though. How is he by the way?" Kate asked, noting his absence from the group. Aragorn, rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a tired sigh.
"He is…fine. Eager to leave this place. He withdraws himself from time to time but he acts as he normally does when he appears."
"Good, so better? No outbursts?"
"No, I did not say better, Kate. I only say he has not gotten worse. Though Lady Galadriel is optimistic, she believes there is hope for him yet." He explained.
"Good." Kate said, her mind still racing. There is hope for Boromir! This is good! This is all good, maybe I will find him today, just hangout. "When did you speak with Lady Galadriel?" Kate inquired.
"Yesterday. I had dinner with Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. We were going over the best route to take our leave, among other things."
Huh. Interesting.
Since the first day she had laid eyes on the Lady Galadriel and realized that it was, in fact, she who had helped her escape the Black Riders, Kate had been eager to speak with her.
Lady Galadriel herself had said that they would talk, and yet Kate had heard no word from her! In the days that followed, the only conversation they had had was an indirect letter sent on her behalf!
Kate had questions, questions that she was sure the Lady of Lorien had answers to! Even if she wasn't directly involved in bringing Kate here wasn't she wise enough to help her? Give her information on when and how she might go home?
The Ring was going to be destroyed, they were on the way, wasn't that enough? Surely any danger Lord Elrond saw in Kate returning home would have been quelled by now? Besides the Lady Galadriel, Kate was told, was some wise and ancient being, a super Elf. She would know how to get Kate home, right?
Kate looked over at Aragorn who was watching the hobbits small party, and guilt began to nag at her.
How could she think of leaving at a time like this? Now, when she was really just beginning to connect with Aragorn…the only blood family she had now?
How could she even imagine a scenario where she left him, and Boromir, Gimli, the Hobbits, Legolas?
But she did. Every waking moment she was reminded that she was not a part of this world. It was strange and foreign and she did not belong here and she unconsciously fought any and all attempts at assimilation.
Navigating this place felt like walking on shifting sands and she had never been so unsure of herself in her entire life! She wasn't altogether sure that was a bad thing though, just...uncomfortable.
Was she ever going to feel at home here, or would she simply walk through this journey with them and be returned to Earth, like nothing had ever happened?
Well if Galadriel would just talk to me, then I could ask her! Kate argued with herself, angrily picking at the innocent blades of grass again. Well she's an Elf, Kate, not an oracle. The other part of her reasoned, poking through the cracks in her misplaced anger.
Kate shoved those thoughts away. It wouldn't do her any good to sit here and stew over it. It would happen when it happened, and if it didn't? Well she would cross that bridge when she came to it.
Aragorn, fought back a yawn, keeping his eyes closed for longer than was necessary. Kate smiled at her uncle sympathetically.
He was the only one who had not been able to rest as thoroughly as everyone else had.
"Tired?" Aragorn gave a weary smile in response.
"Mmm. I went to offer Haldir aid in securing their borders. It is no secret in Lothlorien that the orcs are tracking us, though not everyone knows why." He explained, groggily rubbing his face. "I felt it was the least I could do. A small way to reciprocate the hospitality they have shown us."
"That was kind of you." Kate agreed. "Next time let me know, I'd like to help if I can."
Kate couldn't imagine how difficult it must be for him to suddenly be the unspoken leader of this fellowship now.
No one had elected him, it was just simply understood that they would all follow Aragorn now; people could not help but fall in line behind the future king. He was a natural born leader whether he liked it or not.
What pressure that must be! Not to mention the pressure she knew he had to be putting on himself. It was Aragorn who felt responsible for the success of this mission; if he made a wrong choice, took the wrong path, trusted the wrong people…than all was lost with no one but himself to blame.
Heavy lies the crown. She thought, watching him fondly.
"Hey, Aragorn? You can sleep in my room if you want. It might be a bit small for you but it is quiet and warm." She offered. Aragorn laughed softly, touched by the suggestion.
"That is a kind offer, but there is work for me to do still." He said wearily.
"No, there isn't. Not now. Take some rest, Aragorn. You're not actually an elf, you need rest." Kate reasoned, earning another tired laugh from the ranger. "Seriously, sleep. Doctor's orders. We will be fine."
Aragorn let out a long relenting sigh but at long last, rested her hand on her knee, squeezing it in thanks before wandering off in the direction of her sleeping area.
Kate sighed, happily. Good, this was good! She thought contentedly. Everyone is happy, well rested, and drunk. It's been a great day.
She spent the next few hours idly plucking blades of grass and laughing at the antics of Gimli and the hobbits.
Gimli was really coming out on top of the drinking game, determined to finish the goblets placed in front of him, but the hobbits had long since abandoned the rules of the game. They danced and drank, and sang and playfully wrestled each other to the ground.
Kate wondered what it would be like, in The Shire, it must be great fun! So lost in her idle musings she was, that when the Elven messenger cleared his throat behind her Kate nearly jumped out of her skin.
"How long have you been there?" Kate asked defensively, jumping to stand. The elf did not reply, instead stared reprovingly at the shorn patch of grass where Kate had been sitting. Kate cleared her throat, guiltily, but raised her head high. "Can I help you? If you're looking for Lord Aragorn he is asleep and not to be disturbed." She announced, wiping her hands on her skirt.
The elf looked down his nose, impassively but said nothing, briefly distracted by Gimli's drunk laughter.
Briefly, Kate could plainly see the disgust across the elf's face, and then the expression was gone just as quickly as it came. Replaced with the usual impassive expression she had seen on most elves. It was mildly infuriating and Kate was suddenly very thankful for Nestaron's candor. What is the deal with Elves and Dwarves?
"The Lady Galadriel has requested your presence this evening." He relayed, his lilting voice drawing her attention back. Kate's jaw dropped.
"Oh? Why?" She asked already knowing the answer, and wondering if somehow if The Lady Galadriel had divined her impertinence and impatience and decided to hurry up and get it over with.
"I was simply told to relay the message. No other information was given to me, My lady. I am sorry I cannot be of any further assistance." He said simply.
"Oh…Ok…well thank you…and, er, I'm sorry about the grass." She apologized, sheepishly.
"There is nothing to forgive, my lady. You are a guest here, enjoy your time as you will." He said smoothly, and Kate bit her check, feeling as if she had just been reprimanded by the messenger.
"Well, thank you. Please tell her that I am happy to accept her invitation." The elf bowed his head in acknowledgment and then left to convey her message.
"What does one wear to a meeting with an Elven Lady?" Kate mused aloud.
"A dress, I assume." Boromir answered, lumbering towards the group. "Why was I not invited to this party?" He asked, lightheartedly.
"No one over Five feet allowed. It's a very exclusive party." She responded in a mockingly serious tone. Boromir clutched his heart, feigning hurt feelings.
"So it would seem! And after all we have done for them!"
"No good deed…" Kate agreed, still enjoying the secret joke that had gone unnoticed by their shorter and stouter friends.
"Well, the joke will be on them in the morning when they are woken up to train! Let them have their fun for now, we'll be leaving soon." Boromir answered, turning quite serious.
"Will we? I thought that after what happened we would be staying longer?" Kate asked, suddenly concerned. She needed more time here! She selfishly thought.
"What has happened?" Kate told him the events of what had transpired that morning, the injured elf and her new position as an assistant to Nestaron. Boromir cursed through his teeth, suddenly growing openly frustrated.
"How much longer must we stay here? Have we not rested enough? We are like lambs awaiting the slaughter sitting idly by!" The man complained, crossing his arms indignantly. "We should make a run for it whilst we still have the advantage." Kate shook her head.
"No, bad idea. Haldir had said the orcs were hiding to ambush them. If a pack of orc can surprise these Elves, imagine what our chances would be." She contested, wrapping her arms around her. "No, Aragorn is right. It's better to wait. We can't risk it, not with Frodo…"
Boromir interrupted her with a bitter laugh, a shadow passing over his face.
Kate tensed in response, worried that their disagreement might spur on another episode. But the shadow passed, the color returning to his face once again.
Boromir rolled his eyes and then pulled the woman into a hug.
"Forgive me! It is simply the lesser opinion of a restless and overzealous soldier." Kate returned the hug, lightly patting his arm as she pulled away.
"By the way, thank you for the complement on my training. Aragorn told me what you said, it was nice…if not over exaggerated." Boromir coughed out a loud laugh, drawing the attention of the inebriated hobbits who waved and beckoned him over to join them. Boromir laughed but shook his head, turning his attention back to Kate.
"No, I did no such thing! You are much improved!" He laughed, looking down at her fondly. "You are no warrior, it is true, but you will at least not be cut down so easily. And I have no worry that you will accidently kill me during a sparring match. For a moment, it was a true concern."
"It was not!" Kate laughed, jokingly slapping his arm.
"Oh, it was! Every morning in Rivendell I made peace with my God before training you, just in case I met an untimely and unfortunate end!" He laughed, dodging another swat.
"What happened to 'Oh, you could never beat me, dear Kate!'" She asked, lowering her voice to mimic the man's. Boromir laughed, both hands held up as he conceded.
"Well accidents do happen, and you can be quite fierce when you want to be!" Kate laughed, shrugging her arms.
"Well who knows? Once this is all over, if being a doctor is out of the question I can apply to be a soldier in your guard!" She exclaimed. Boromir laughed softly but did not answer. He looked like he was struggling to find words. "What? That's a non-starter huh? Well don't spare my feelings, I can take rejection." She continued, putting on a mockingly gallant face.
Boromir's mouth upturned into a small smile and slowly reached to tuck a stray hair back behind her ear. His hands lingered there for a moment, saying everything that he could not…and then he retracted his hand, quickly, the moment chased away by her confused and furrow brow.
Some things were better left unsaid.
"No." He said finally, firmly clasping his hands together. "I would be happy to have you."
"You'd better go to them." Kate encouraged the man, who's attention was again turned to the lively bunch of Hobbits and the now snoring dwarf. "They won't stop until you've had a drink, maybe two."
"Duty calls." He relented, waggling his eyebrows as he stepped backward toward the cheering hobbits. Kate laughed as he joined the crew, chugging the goblet of wine as he was cheered on by the hobbits.
Men. she thought fondly, turning to move to the bathing house to prepare for her meeting with Lady Galadriel. Maybe I can get them to bring me a dress, since Aragorn is sleeping in my room. She wondered, trying to decide how formal a dress she would need. What exactly was the protocol for such a meeting? Was it the same as visiting royalty? Not that I've really had a lot of experience there either. She thought wryly.
"It's fine. It'll be fine. This is fine." She muttered to herself.
Why was she so worried? This had been nearly a perfect day, she wasn't going to ruin it by worrying over a meeting.
Kate imagined the two of them, quietly sipping tea, the Lady sharing with her long sought after answers and wise council.
Yes. Kate thought. Nothing to worry over.
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Kate smooth her dress needlessly for the fifth time since arriving in the gardens where she was told to wait for Lady Galadriel.
The Garden was beautiful, hidden from sight under the leaves of the giant Mallorn trees, flowers and creeping vines crawled over the trees and spilled into the garden and a spring babbled happily nearby, flowing into a small pool where it stilled.
This should have been calming scenario. She should have felt relaxed. Instead she felt jittery, restless and on edge. Every hair on her arm stood on end and she nervously bit her knuckle to try and distract herself from the growing anxiety.
Why am I so anxious? She wondered to herself, rubbing her arms in an attempt at self-soothing. She could not stop fidgeting.
She couldn't understand how she could be this on edge over a simple audience with Lady Galadriel! The air around her seemed to hum, like charged electricity. Her eye began twitching and Kate stifled a frustrated growl.
"I hope I have not kept you waiting." An angelic voice spoke, momentarily distracting Kate from her restlessness.
Lady Galadriel stood atop a set of natural stairs formed by the tree roots. She smiled down at Kate serenely and her naturally brilliant aura pierced through the fog of her mind.
"Not at all!" Kate stammered, moving to stand as the Lady floated down the stairs and moved to sit beside her. Gently taking her hand she beckoned Kate to sit down again.
Kate sat, letting out a long breath. She felt calmer now…but only just.
As much as Kate had anticipated this meeting, eagerly awaiting the day when Galadriel would call upon her, she now felt differently.
She was so unnerved by her, and it was not difficult to understand why! She was beautiful and terrifying. Galadriel could break every bone in her body, easily, and Kate could do nothing about it; she was so unnaturally stunning that Kate might even thank her for doing it, and offer up ways to make such a task easier of the Elven woman!
Kate felt her stomach flop as she was torn between the desire to run screaming, or stay and pledge her unwavering fidelity.
She didn't love this and the urge to call the whole thing off was starting to seem more and more appealing.
"I am sorry you feel that way." Lady Galadriel answered, reading her thoughts. Kate frowned openly at the invasion. This was not really going to go her way if her every thought was already known! Galadriel laughed, a light musical sound, showing no ill will toward the woman. "I suppose you have many questions for me."
"I do." She said coolly. She really had to fight hard to maintain her composure. Galadriel calmly, waited for Kate's questions, with an amused smile on her face. "Well…to start with…why were you it my dream that night? How did you know to find me? How did you even know who I was?"
"Gandalf had told me of your…lineage, some time ago. He was concerned for your safety and asked that I watch over you." She answered obligingly.
"And you always do the bidding of wizards?" She interrogated.
As soon as the words were out of her mouth Kate regretted them, noting how Galadriel's face had hardened in response.
Kate pressed her lips in a firm line, trying to ignore the wave of guilt. She knew her frustration was misplaced and honestly, she didn't know why she felt so irritated.
Just keep your mouth shut, Kate! Is that so hard?!
"I am happy to come to the aid of dear friends who require it." She replied, her words sounding hard and cool now, like rocks in a riverbed. "Even to assist those who are too blind to realize it is needed."
Kate cleared her throat, reminding herself to not be so bold in her reproach.
The Lady might not be as forgiving the next time, and if she were being honest her anger was misdirected. The lady Galadriel had really only tried to help her.
"Right. S-sorry. Sooo have you been watching me this whole time?" Galadriel shook her head.
"No. I knew where you had chosen to reside, but it would be…cumbersome to watch you every hour of the day." She replied, her voice still holding Its hardness.
"So how did you know that I needed you?" Kate asked warily. Galadriel did not respond, she merely moved over to the pool, gazing into it for a moment before grabbing a silver pitcher and filling it with water.
"I felt the dark ones pass over, into your world. I am not sure how they managed that journey, it was hidden from me." She replied, daring Kate to question her explanation.
"Right." Kate commented. "Well… I suppose I should thank you…for warning me." Galadriel inclined her head in acknowledgement, but any warmth that Kate had initially felt from her was all but gone now. "Honestly, though, thank you. I don't think I really would have known what to do if you hadn't of told me. I would have been dead, or worse…so thank you." She said, more sincerely this time
"I could not allow the enemy access to such a gift like yours. It would mean ruin, not just for this world but all others"
Kate laughed loudly, surprising herself at how mirthless and bitter it sounded. She pulled her arms across her chest as if she could hold back the flood of emotions threating to spill over.
"This is no gift." She snapped, her lips curling in disgust. "A gift does not separate you from your world and everyone you love! That is not a gift, and if it is I do not want it!" She shouted. She could feel herself shaking from barely contained rage.
What did she mean by a gift?! Moving through time, passing through worlds; It was something out of a science fiction novel, a freak genetic mutation! What could she possibly know about it?!
"You are young." The Lady responded, coolly brushing off Kate's words. "You have been foolish with your time by refusing to study and hone your abilities for the benefit of others."
Kate snorted resentfully. And for what benefit could that be? She wasn't a superhero or some long awaited savior.
She had no real purpose here and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Fellowship would accomplish their mission, with or without her here! She was nothing but a pawn; a ball that was volleyed away from the enemy's reach.
Kate didn't know much about this ability she had been cursed with, it was true. The one thing she did know was it had robbed her of everyone she had known and loved time after time after time. Shuffling her about to a time she knew she had never belonged, making her feel alone and withdrawn, clinging desperately to the one thing she was good at just to feel that she had a purpose!
This "gift" had thrust the members of her family through time, space and everything in between to have their whole lives turned upside down for what?
It had brought Kate nothing but fear, chaos and pain!
You think this gift only causes pain? Lady Galadriel asked, her voices echoing through the halls of Kate's mind.
Doesn't it? She answered back, eyes flashing angrily. Look at my life! Look at what's happened?! I had to leave my father had my shipped off because I was in danger, he couldn't come with me because the journey might kill him! My Aunt died because she had traveled through so often, I was hunted and dropped here all for what?! To what end?! Why am I even here? Just so some baddie doesn't try and use me for evil? I couldn't bring them through even if I wanted to! It doesn't work that way!
Lady Galadriel eyed the human woman pitifully.
How would you even know when you have never tested the limits? You have no idea what Sauron is capable of, what kind of evil he could produce if he was allowed to bend and twist you to his will! And for all the knowledge you pride yourself on having you cannot even see!
"What does that even mean?!" Kate growled angrily, forgetting herself again. Galadriel said nothing, but beckoned Kate forward, to look into the pool. It was not a request.
What good would it do to look into a pool of freaking water? She wondered, but begrudgingly did as she was asked.
For a moment, she saw nothing, just the reflection of an angry young women standing next to the angelic Galadriel. The contrast would almost have made her laugh, if she hadn't been so infuriated.
The water started to ripple, like a breeze moving over the service…but the air was still.
Then suddenly images flashed across the water, plain as day. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched them, just like a movie.
The stories she had heard of the great love between Jaime and Claire were suddenly played out before her. She saw it all in brief glimpses how one by one the members of her family had found their loved ones, their soul mates to bear out the storms of life with.
Your great grandmother, Claire…did she not meet the love of her life, Jaime? Did not their love and union bring forth life? And your grandmother, Brianna, she found love in Roger, who in turn went back to find her. Your father found love in your mother, Raen. Yes…it has brought pain and confusion but life is never void of such things. I do not believe anyone of them would have survived their traumas had they not had their loved ones near. Galadriel explained, in her mind.
Kate hugged herself tighter as she felt her anger and grief leak out of her, as if it were venom being sucked from a wound.
"You do not see?" Galadriel asked, finally speaking aloud, causing Kate to flinch. "This gift does not separate you from love, Kate, it restores it."
Kate was crying now, as memories long since forgotten painted themselves across the surface of the water.
Images of her father, carving a toy horse for her; images of her mother planting flowers in the garden, her chocolate colored hair tumbling down her back in waves; images of Kate in the hospital in surgeries; images of Kate alone in her apartment on her birthday; images of a past boyfriend and her embracing…and then images of Middle Earth. Meeting Elrond, and Aragorn! Each member of the fellowship flashed before her eyes.
Finally, an image of Legolas, laughing with Nestaron. Kate's heart tightened and her breath became heavy, she could feel her cheeks burning under the intrusive gaze of the Lady of Lorien.
"There can be no future in this union." Galadriel said softly, but firmly. "You know this." She had not said it to hurt Kate…and yet the truth of her words stung.
Of course, there was no future with Legolas! Obviously, there could not be, she knew that! But Kate could not understand why she suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment and…loss.
How could I let myself be so stupid? I hardly know him. It was schoolgirl crush, nothing more. Kate reasoned turning her eyes away from the pool in shame. She hated this intrusion into her mind, this vulnerability that came with it.
"Why are you showing me this." She asked tersely, trying to distract herself from the inexplicable pain she was feeling.
Why did Kate care that she had disapproved of a silly crush?
Kate wouldn't even call it a crush, she insisted. She was just naturally attracted to him! That was not abnormal, Legolas was undeniably attractive.
Oh, shut up you fool! She thought angrily, pushing any such thoughts out of her mind.
What did it matter to her? She didn't belong here anyway, she wasn't going to stay here!
Do you want to go home, Kate? Galadriel asked calmly.
Kate froze. Was she joking? Her mouth gaped, opening and shutting stupidly, trying to find an answer, but her attention was brought back to the pool as more images flashed before her eyes.
Images she couldn't explain and wasn't sure she ever would be able to, images of herself working again in an odd-looking hospital, she saw a man in some type of cell and most surprisingly she saw images of Boromir in some strange uniform…but he looked happy, more relaxed and healthy!
It did not make sense to her! Why couldn't elves just get to the point, humans didn't have all the time in the world to find the true meaning behind Elvish counsel.
It is true…I do not know why you have been brought here, or what fate has in store for you. The path ahead of you is forked in many directions…you have so many choices before you… it will weigh heavy on your heart.
That's comforting. You should really put that on a Hallmark card Kate bit back, angrily wiping away a tear.
I do not say it to comfort you. I say it so you may know the weight of your choices from this point on! Galadriel warned, her voice suddenly booming inside her head.
Her ears began to ring, a buzzing filling her head growing louder and louder…and a familiar current moved through her body.
Kate swore loudly as she looked into the pool again. It's a portal?! How in the world is this even possible right here?!
Her body began to twitch as it always did when it prepared itself to go through, readying itself to be violently ripped apart and hurled through time and space.
You cannot say you were not given a choice now, Kate. Our goal is to keep you out of reach of the enemy, who now knows you are here! There is no hope for secrecy for you or Frodo now.
So now you have a choice, you can stay and fight or you can return home to hide in plain sight, further from the reach of the enemy. If you stay you will be a citizen of this world, bound to its laws and its fate. If you leave you are free from that burden. So, I will ask again: Do you want to go home?
She could hear it now, the opening of the void and the voices of those lost in between…the screams…or was that her own screaming?
Her body shook violently, seizing and twitching in anticipation and she fell to the ground, too weak to stand.
Kate couldn't explain this feeling, it was unlike the other times… As if half her body was on Middle Earth, the other half on Earth and everything in between was lost in the void, actively being torn apart and stitched back together.
The pain was building in her from the prolonged exposure, mounting and threating to tear her apart.
"Why are you doing this? Stop! Please stop!" Kate begged in between tears, clutching the grass desperately. Wasn't this what she had wanted? To go home? Back to her work? Her life? Her world?
Choose. All you have to do is reach out your hand and touch the water…and this world will be closed to you.
"I can't! Stop this!" Kate screamed.
She felt like her whole body was on fire, every atom in her ripping and stretching, burning from the resistance.
I can't just leave now! She screamed internally. Who would tell Aragorn, would I ever see him again? The hobbits? Gimli, Boromir, Legolas…who would tell them that I am gone? What would happen to them?!
You must decide now, Kate. You will not survive much longer. Galadriel urged. Kate felt like she was being asked to cut out her own heart! She couldn't make such a decision on a whim? This was cruel!
"I can't" She cried, a guttural wailing following after. She wouldn't!
You must!
"I don't want to go! Please, I want to stay! Please, just stop!" She screamed. She knew she meant it and she felt the ties to her world fall away. "I want to stay."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she felt her body snap into place, like a rubber band that and stretched too far and finally let go.
Aftershocks ricocheted through her, and she felt herself convulsing.
She writhed, vomiting the contents of her stomach onto the ground in front of her until there was nothing left and all she was left dry heaving pathetically on the ground.
That was not at all how she saw this meeting going.
When her body finally stopped, every cell finally back where it should be her tears slowed. She was too tired to be angry anymore.
Galadriel moved to sit beside her, collecting Kate into her lap as a mother often does with her child and the pain evaporated. She could no longer remember the agony she was in she realized as energy and strength seeped back into her bones.
Galadriel wiped cleaned Kate's face with a clean cloth, removing and traces of sickness or dirt or tears and then handed Kate a cool goblet of water for her to drink.
Finally, Galadriel spoke, softly, the warmth and wisdom returning to her voice and she was once again the stunning and treasured Elven Lady of Light.
"It is never an easy choice, to cut ties with your home and forsake its safety and comfort for the uncertainty and strife of another; harder choices you will yet make, dear Kate. But take heart, you will find the peace you seek. Your life will not end in turmoil and regret." Galadriel promised, placing a light kiss on her forehead. "You have made your choice…and you will follow this quest to its end, I see that now. Your heart is here, you are a part of this world now and as I said, bound to its fate."
"Will I ever return?" Kate asked, her voice hoarse from crying, but Kate had only asked out of curiosity.
Something had changed and Kate felt at peace with her decision. She was a citizen of Middle Earth.
She had family here, and friends and she was gaining the knowledge and skill to be a better doctor here, not just a surgeon. She could really do some good!
Hope began to sprout within her for the first time in a long while. Galadriel smiled warmly, wiping away Kate's tears lightly.
"That choice will one day be before you again. I do not believe it is closed to you forever. One cannot see every direction their life will take" She answered lightly. Kate sighed loudly, sitting up straighter now.
"I really want to like you and all, my lady, but for this friendship to work you have really got to give me some straight answers once in a while. Because that whole thing really sucked." Kate said earning a hearty laugh from the Lady of Light.
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It was late, well past midnight but Kate couldn't sleep.
They would be leaving soon, a day, maybe two.
They had been here for almost three weeks now, and while Kate was enjoying her time with Nestaron, learning about herbs and mixing tonics, she knew it was time to go. Aragorn had only to say the word and they would be off.
Kate flung off the blankets and sat on the edge of her bed. Sleep was not coming to her this night.
There was too much to think about, too much to do! She needed to clear her head.
Slowly she got up and pulled the large cotton night robe around her, inhaling the clean woody scent as she did.
She would miss having clean clothes, she thought as she stepped into the cool night and followed the path to the edge of the forest. There was a lot she would miss about Lothlorien.
She would miss the beauty of the city, the elves whose songs echoed through the woods night and day, Nestaron and his tidy healing house, and daily baths! Oh, what a luxury that was!
She walked until she found a corner of the woods that seemed like a nice spot. Not too far from Lothlorien that she needed to be wary, but far enough that she could think, undisturbed.
She settled herself on the grass, resting her back against larger Mallorn tree and stared out into the dark of the forest, content to just listen to the sounds of the forest.
An idea struck her and timidly she reached out to the tree behind her, screwing her eyes shut as she tried to recreate what Legolas had told her.
Nothing,
Only the rustle of the wind through the leaves. She suddenly felt very foolish and rolled her eyes at herself. Must be an elf thing.
"I guess trees only talk to Elves. Thanks anyway." She whispered, patting the tree trunk in a show of good will. Just in case.
Unbothered, she leaned back again and sighed, gazing at the city swathed in its silvery glow and listening to its sweet songs. She hoped that this peace that had settled in her soul since her meeting with Galadriel would stay with her once they departed Lothlorien.
She felt stronger now that her decision to stay had been her own, albeit with some prodding. A lot of prodding. But she was confident of herself now; the more she learned from Nestaron and Aragorn the more she felt comfortable in her new role as citizen of Middle Earth.
No, she was not anyone special, no one would write her name in its history or sing songs of her glory and victory in battle.
That was fine by her! She didn't want that, that wasn't who she was. But now she knew who she was, a young woman who was learning to accept advice and council from those who cared enough to give it.
She was a healer, learning far more than she ever thought possible.
She was a friend and the niece of a man she greatly admired, who would one day make a very fine king.
And she was a member of The Fellowship of the ring, something that she was proud to play an active part of. She would happily and willingly fight alongside these people to protect Frodo and their home. Her home now.
Kate smiled to herself, yes this was good. She made a mental note to thank the Lady Galadriel for her …tough love. What does one get The Lady of Light? Kate mused.
"It is beautiful, is it not?" Legolas asked, stepping out from his own resting place. He felt the woman bristle at his sudden intrusion and frowned apologetically. "You wish to be alone? Forgive me."
Kate shook her head slowly.
"No, it's not that. You surprised me is all. I will never get used to how quiet you are, honestly. Here, come sit, if you want, I don't mind." She insisted, patting the ground next to her and Legolas obligingly sat down.
"It is late. Would you not rather take some rest?" He asked.
"No. Couldn't sleep." Came her simply reply. "You?"
"It is the same for me." He answered, smiling to himself at his own personal jokes. Elves rarely needed rest.
They sat in relative silence next to each other, but Kate could feel a tension in the air…a bit of hesitation that she knew was her fault.
She shifted uncomfortably, wondering if she should bring it up or if they might just ignore it.
"I feel…I owe you an apology." Kate spoke, deciding to bite the bullet. New Me is bolder. New Me apologizes when she's been an ass.
"Because you have been avoiding me." He said quietly, there was no accusation in his voice, only hurt.
Ouch.
She had been avoiding him since her visit with Galadriel and her words still echoed in Kate's mind 'There can be no future in this union.' She didn't know why those words hurt, and every time she looked at Legolas she heard them, and waves of embarrassment would wash over her.
But that was not his fault. He had no idea what had happened. For all Legolas knew, she had suddenly found herself found herself very busy. Too busy to even look at him.
"Yeah, I have." She whispered staring down at her hands to avoid his gaze.
"Why? Have I offended you in so great a way?"
"No." She replied, barely above a whisper now. She felt suddenly very small. Legolas laughed, mirthlessly, turning away from her. New Me sucks.
"It cannot be because I am a Prince, since that is the last day I had heard more than two words from you. Surely you cannot have changed your opinion of me so quickly?" He asked bitterly.
Kate's stomach sank. She had no idea he would have been so hurt. She really was stupid.
"No! Legolas, no, it's not that at all!" She insisted, turning his face to look at her. "It's because I am an ass! I am so sorry I hurt you. It was not my intention, please believe me. I had no idea- I'm so sorry. " Legolas's face softened as he looked into her eyes, bringing his hand up to cover hers, keeping it resting on his cheek.
"Then tell me Kate, why have you hid from me? I cannot think what I have done to earn your scorn." He beseeched, the full spectrum of his hurt feelings showing plainly in his eyes now.
"Nothing! You have done nothing it was me. I reacted very poorly to some…uh, advice that confused me and I needed some time to think on it…but that was my fault not yours. I didn't know it would hurt you."
"What advice would that have been?"
Kate chewed her lip, trying to imagine how that conversation would go.
"Oh, nothing. You know I just got my knickers in a twist because The Lady Galadriel told me there was no future for us? Oh, you're laughing? Good …that's good. Yes, very funny. No, I have no idea why she would say such a thing. You're still laughing…? You're right, we obviously could never be together, please go back to your hordes of supermodel Elf women waiting for you! Sure, you can tell them and then we can all laugh and laugh and laugh together.
No, that was simply not going to work. Not to mention, she'd have to explain the reason for their meeting to begin with! But she did owe him some of the truth…that much she could do. I think. This was a bad plan, New Me is a fool. Abort mission.
"Legolas…for me to really explain that…I'd have to share things that sound really insane…impossible even…"
"Things you do not wish to share with me?" He asked evenly.
Too late.
"Yes! Well, I mean no. I mean I-"
"I do not understand." Legolas interrupted, frustration creeping into his voice.
Kate sighed and started again, moving her hands to grab both of his firmly, hoping the action would make her more forthcoming.
"When I heard that you were a Prince, no I was not angry, just surprised. I am so sorry that you thought that would impact out friendship negatively in any way. I just assumed since we were friends that I had known the important stuff about you, you know, the basics." She began, ignoring the dissenting sniff he made. "But as I talked with Aragorn and Nestaron…I realized that I didn't really know you at all, and that I had kept secrets too." She explained.
"And why would that lead you to hide from me? Would it not be simpler to ask me? To tell me what troubled you? Is that not what friends do?" He probed, pulling their joint hands closer to his heart in earnest.
"Yes…yes, that would have been the preferred course of action." She agreed, foolishly. "I don't know I guess I just felt embarrassed by the liberties I'd taken in our friendship. You had been so kind to me, Legolas, far kinder than I deserve and I hadn't even taken the time to learn any more about you than what you offered. I was so foolish, and selfish! So then, I realized that I would have to cough up secrets of my own…and I don't think I was quite ready for that." She finished, pulling her hands back into her lap ashamedly.
"Kate…" Legolas said, tilting her head up with one long finger so that she would be looking him in the eye. "I would have never asked for you to share more with me than you would have wanted. You think I do not know there are things you hide from me? You are not such a skilled liar, but I am unbothered by this. You will tell me when you are ready."
"Oh…well ok sure." She replied, feeling relieved. He really was amazing; how could someone be so wonderful? "I'm sorry…I am trying you know…to be better."
"I know, mellon nin." He said, and then let out a relieved laugh. "So, you do not wish to end our friendship, but grow it?"
"Yes, I suppose so." She answered, a smile spreading on her own face.
"And you wish to do this by sharing secrets?" He asked.
Kate giggled at the thought of the two of them, huddled under a tree, whispering secrets to one another. It was all very silly.
"Not secrets exactly." She laughed "Just details about each other, I guess, about each other's lives. And yes, secrets can be shared too. Just you know…I want us to be friends Legolas, and I want to be a better friend. You and my uncle are close, it would only make sense that we are too. I hope that will know each other for a long time."
Legolas gave her a warm, dazzling smile that nearly stopped her heart.
"You do not know how happy this makes me, dear Kate." Legolas said, bringing both hands to her cheeks in sincerity. His thumb gently traced the length of her cheekbone, joy radiating off him in waves.
Who knew the one way to make an elf happy was friendship? Go figure.
"So, then…In the spirit of friendship…what would you like to know? Ask me anything. I'll answer your questions and you answer mine." She ventured.
Legolas laughed and thought for a moment, crossing his arms leaning back against the tree.
Then finally he spoke, his eyes looking out into the forest to avoid her gaze.
"So…you truly do not think differently of me now that you know who I am? Who my father is?" He asked.
"No, I don't think differently of you it was just…surprising." She answered. Then she asked a question of her own, cautiously, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. "Did you not tell me because you were afraid you couldn't trust me?" Legolas let out a long sigh.
"At first…when we found you in the woods that day…I did not know your intentions…You were very strange to me." He explained, giving her a teasing smile. "I was not afraid of you, Kate. I just decided it was better to use discretion until I knew that you were no spy."
"A wise choice. I had all the markings of a spy." She joked.
"You were very suspicious." He laughed, shaking his head. "But then as I grew to know you, that there was no ill will in your heart and as a member of the fellowship…it was just easier to be simply Legolas. People do not speak with me as you do…it is refreshing. I hope that will remain unchanged."
"That won't change, I might not kiss you again, that was probably overstepping a bit." She muttered. "But don't worry. This doesn't have to be a thing, you will always be simply Legolas to me." Kate said smiling, and reached to take his hand.
"That is good to hear." He nodded, clasping her hands and returning her smile. Slowly his thumb drew circles on her hand as his mouth opened, and then closed again, trying to decide if he wanted to say what was in his heart. "I…did not think that your kiss was overstepping. It was pleasant. Kind." He stated, firmly shutting his mouth to prevent himself from saying anything else.
"Oh." Kate breathed, surprised by his statement. Pleasant. Kind. Ok. That's fine. Those are the perfect words to describe a friendly kiss. A kiss between friends. New Me is not bothered by this. Nope. "So! Next question!" She said brightly, changing the topic. Her pride had taken about all it could this week!
"Why were you really in the forest, alone, with no horse or supplies?" He blurted and Kate felt her jaw clench reflexively.
"Uhh well…that is …well that is…a bit of a long story." She squeaked out. "Had that question locked and loaded, didn't you?"
"You do not have to tell me, Kate." Legolas insisted. "You did tell me to ask you questions."
"Yep, yes. I did. You're right. Um…" Kate started chewing her lip. How could she explain this in a way that did not make her sound like a deranged lunatic? "So, it's just… very complicated. If I tell you I just really need you to believe me…"
"Kate…" Legolas started warily.
"No, seriously. I know you're going to say I don't have tell you. I know, but I want to. It's not the telling you that's the problem, it's just…" Kate bit her lip nervously, and looked up at the Elf. His head was cocked to the side as it often was concerned or intently listening to someone and he met her gaze full on, his cerulean eyes full of concern. "I just don't want you to think I'm nuts. Or that I'm a liar, or a threat or something." She insisted.
Legolas shook his head and moved closer to the woman, looking so vulnerable to him in this moment it broke his heart! What could be so difficult to tell him?
He grabbed her hands again, sitting so close to her that their knees touched where they sat crossed legged on the ground.
"Tell me." He said softly. "I promise you, Kate, my friend, I will not betray your trust in this if you wish to share a part of your life with me."
Kate nodded, wanting to believe him.
She took a deep breath and told him everything.
She told him where and when she was born, how Aragorn's sister met her father…her birth, about the Black Riders who had been searching for her and how Gandalf had found her father and how she was subsequently hidden away in a different time where she would not be found, never knowing why.
She told him about her Aunt Mandy's death, her dream of Galadriel, her race to the standing stones at Craigh na Dun and the Black Riders that followed her and finally, landing in Middle Earth, lost in the forest for days until they met.
She told him how she traveled through ancient stone circles, and how she had stupidly refused to learn anymore about this ability.
She told him that she had accidentally stumbled upon such a circle that day that had been found by the Crebaine. She told him about her meeting with Galadriel and the choice she was given. She could hold nothing back as story tumbled out of her.
All the while Legolas sat listening, still as a statue, saying nothing.
When Kate had finally finished, she waited for Legolas to say something. Anything. Still he said nothing, staring down into their joint hands intently.
"So…I'm assuming you have questions…comments…concerns?" She ventured. Legolas nodded, but still said nothing. "Yea…it's a lot."
"Mmmm…" The elf hummed.
"You're processing. That's fine. I get that take your time." She insisted, moving to leaving but Legolas held her hands fast.
"No, do not go. Give me a moment." He said quietly. Kate nodded and resettled, crossing her legs again so their knees touched again.
Kate didn't know how long they sat that way, in complete silence and all the while she silently prayed that he would understand, that telling him had not be a colossal mistake.
She chewed her lips nervously until finally Legolas inhaled deeply, exhaling in the same fashion before her spoke.
"I…have misjudged you." He said quietly, regret seeping into his voice. It was so quiet Kate could have sworn she heard her heart shatter.
Oh God, he doesn't believe me. She cried internally. Galadriel was right there was no future in this union, in friendship or otherwise, she thought, heart seizing.
"What?" She asked hesitantly, letting out a slow shuddering breath.
"I have misjudged you so utterly and completely." He breathed, eyebrows raised in shock. "Please forgive me."
"What?" She asked again, eyes blinking in shock. "What are you talking about?"
Legolas shook his head, softly laughing in disbelief.
"All this time…you had such a difficulty with our customs…it all seemed so strange to you. You were so resistant to our ways and laws…you could not ride a horse or defend yourself and I had never heard of you from Aragorn…I am so sorry Kate I thought you must have been simple!" He exclaimed. "When I realized that was not so, I thought…that you were false, you meant to trick Aragorn. Then he seemed to accept you and I could not be sure of you but…yes…this…this makes much more sense to me now! The odd clothes you wore when I first met you, your speech, your behavior and mannerisms… And Aragorn knew of this, and Gandalf? Even Lord Elrond?"
Kate sat up, confused. He thought I didn't know anything about Middle Earth because I was stupid? Or a con artist. Not exactly a flattering picture there but…
"Y-yes they knew. I had to tell them. So…you believe me? Just like that? No questions asked." She asked, stunned.
"Oh, no, I have many questions, I cannot hope to pick just one to ask. But we will discuss this at a later time." He said grinning. "This...this is a good thing, Kate. And you will forgive me, of course?"
"Of course." She parroted, frowning. "I'd like to come back to how you could have possibly thought I was stupid but…how is it so easy for you to believe that? Time travel. Crossing through worlds…this isn't exactly normal behavior where I'm from." She argued.
Then again, in a world full of dragons, elves, dwarves and wizards, where the fate of the world hinges upon the ability of a Hobbit to toss a possessed ring into a barbeque…my whole thing is probably a casual spring break story!
Legolas thought for a moment before answering.
"No…I cannot say I have heard such a tale as yours… it is difficult but…there were stories once. Long ago." He murmured, trying to remember the details. "Of the Dark Elves, misguided worshippers of Eöl who were banished from this world after The Fall of Gondolin, 'The Hidden Rock'…an ancient secret city…but…hmm." Legolas paused lost in thought, and deciding that when he had the chance he would research that story some more…he had never really paid attention when he had learned the stories as a young elf. "It is not so inconceivable."
Kate's shoulders sagged in relief.
"So that's that then?" She asked dumbfounded. Legolas laughed. "All good?"
"Kate. When I called you my friend, I did so knowing that there was a possibility that you were not who you say you were. You cannot imagine the scenarios I had created in my own imagination…far more outlandish and impossible than this!" He insisted, laughing at himself as he recalled a few of those possibilities. "But I had justified it because I know your heart and it is kind, and just, and wildly passionate, and well intentioned…I could be at peace without knowing the real place of your birth, or why you couldn't ride a horse, or having any answers to the mystery that seemed to shroud you so long as I could trust your heart."
Kate couldn't breathe. Were all elves this sincere…so good and pure and wonderful as the one in front of her?
"Legolas…you have no idea what that means to me…you have no idea…" Tears began to well up in her eyes and she released his hands to furiously wipe them away as they fell.
She did not want to look so emotional.
Legolas stopped her, and placed his hands on each cheek and lightly wiped her eyes with his fingers.
"Be at peace, you are among friends here who will not doubt your heart or your story should you choose to tell it." He comforted, staring into her eyes with more sincerity than her heart could bear. Kate couldn't help her eyes from roaming across his face, finally settling on his lips. Slowly Legolas leaned forward and kissed her brow, his soft lips lingering there for just a moment longer than could be considered decent before he sat back, smiling from ear to ear. "Thank you for your profound honesty. Your friendship is a gift most dear."
"Anytime." Kate choked out, shivering wildly.
"Oh, you are cold? You should go and rest now, enjoy the warmth of your bed while it is available to you!" He insisted lightheartedly.
Kate shook her head, pulling the robe tighter around her.
"No, I'm not going to be sleeping tonight. I'll have to get up in a few hours anyway." She explained, staring up at the stars in the night sky. They were so bright here!
"Then come, sit with me and let us share warmth." He suggested, opening his arms so that she could sit back against him. "Let us spend our sleepless night together."
Kate hesitated for a moment, unsure of such an intimate gesture…but then she knew that elves, especially Legolas, were much too innocent to have any other notion than simply to keep her warm.
She nodded and clumsily crawled into his open arms, leaning her back against his chest and resting her head against the crook of his neck. Legolas wrapped his arms around her as she settled into him, and it was much warmer than sitting by herself she had to admit, more comfortable too.
They sat that way in comfortable silence for some time before she felt the breath of Legolas' quiet laugh tickle her ear.
"What?" She asked, self-consciously.
"I was remembering the night before we left, at Lord Elrond's feast. Do you remember? You were looking at the stars…for what was it…the little dagger?"
"Little Dipper." She corrected. "Yeah, I remember. That was a wild hangover I had the next day too." Legolas laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around her.
"Well now it makes sense to me. I know now that you were looking for constellations of your home…but you were so insistent it was here as well. I'm sorry I could not help but laugh." Kate shrugged, unoffended by laughter, smiling sadly to herself.
"But it wasn't. Seems pretty silly now." She reflected.
"Shall I show you some of our constellations?" He asked, looking down at her.
"You have those here?" She asked. Legolas nodded, suddenly quite serious.
"Of course. It is how many have found their way to and fro for thousands of years. Elves, we have our own patterns of stars, they tell our tales and help us to find our way back home…either to our hearth or our loved ones…They hold all of the memories of our past and of those we have lost." He explained reverently. "If you wish…I can help you find them, the patterns in the stars. This is your home now you said. You should know how to find your way in it."
Kate smiled and nodded, contently watch Legolas' hand point out each constellation, telling the story behind it and how to use them to find her bearings if she needed them.
But there was a nagging in the back of her mind and an ache in her heart that she could not now ignore. With every breath, she felt him breath against her back Kate was more and more certain of her feelings.
This was not simply an innocent crush or flighty attraction.
This was so much more than that, she knew that now.
And all the while Galadriel's words echoed in her ears.
There can be no future in this union.
A/N: Ok! I know this was a real long chapter so thanks for sticking with it if you read it this far. I've also had to add a lot of detail in this to flesh out the plot for future chapters (And hopefully for the sequel, if I decide on it.) I also know I took a few liberties here so if anything is really confusing to you and you need answers just ask and I'll answer as best I can without giving too much away.
As always, thank you to all those who reviewed and for all those reading and enjoying this! I'm hoping to update more frequently because I feel like this story is really coming along now, but this semester is pretty busy for me so I am so sorry in advance if I can't get updates out as quick as I want! So, anyway! Thank you and thank you in advance for the reviews!