"I think I might've inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me" Bloodstream by Stateless

Chapter 4

I try really hard to focus on my work, I really do, but I just can't stop thinking about the breathy tone of Bucky's voice earlier. I've got it bad, how did that happen? Did I really become that enamored with him before we ever met? I spent a lot of time learning about James Barnes after Steve started speaking about him. After visiting the Smithsonian, it became a little bit of an obsession for me. This gorgeous soldier in all those black and white photos, heroic as all hell, and tragic beyond words. I was a goner before I ever saw him in all his broody gloriousness.

Time seems to drag today but before I know it I'm back in my room changing into something more casual than my work attire. I put on a pair of little black athletic shorts and a red tank top. I pull my hair up into a messy bun and feel infinitely more comfortable. I figure looking casual is a better idea for tonight. It's not like I'm going on a date, just going to hang out with some friends. My phone goes off a little after six informing me that Steve had just ordered the food and I should make my way up to his and now Bucky's floor.

I'm fighting back nerves after I make the short trek to their living quarters. Before I can knock the door swings open, a huge smile on Steve's face. He welcomes me inside before pulling me into a hug. It's not an odd thing for him to do but we did just see each other earlier in the day. I hear an annoyed sounding huff behind Steve that I'm assuming is Bucky.

"I'm going to head out to pick up the food in just a minute. There's a bottle of wine in the fridge if you want a glass Liya." I smile at his cheery tone as I walk around him and towards his small kitchen.

With Steve no longer standing in front of me I now have a full view of Bucky as he does of me. His eyes rake over my body in a none to subtle way, staring a little longer than necessary at my legs. And if that alone didn't make my heart speed up the sight of him in tight fitting wife beater and low slung sweat pants really does me in. I can see the obvious outline of very toned abs and that mans arms! Or should I say arm? Although the metal one is shaped to duplicate a well muscled arm…is it twisted how attractive I find the Vibranium limb? He looks as if he just got out of the shower, his long hair is still damp. I take a deep breath and force myself to keep moving towards the refrigerator. He still hasn't said a word to me as I pass right by him but I can swear I feel eyes on me.

Steve had already removed the cork from the chilled bottle of Moscato for me, ever the gentleman. "You're a man after my own heart Steve Rogers! Thank you for supporting my wine habit even though you can't enjoy the affects yourself." When I turn back around I jump almost right out of my own skin and drop the bottle of wine because Bucky is so close I almost smack right into his broad chest. "Holy shit Bucky!" I expect to hear breaking glass but instead a metal hand is gripping the neck of the wine bottle. Super soldier reflexes I guess. "You scared the hell out of me, make some noise or something when you come walking up on someone." He's so close to me I have to crane my neck to meet his eyes.

"Sorry doll, moving quietly just comes naturally." I snatch the wine bottle from his hand with narrowed eyes. That infuriatingly attractive grin turns up his lips at my annoyance. I pour myself a glass of the white wine and return the bottle to the fridge.

Steve announces that he's going to pick our food up. Bucky follows me to the couch and sits down close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him. Is he intentionally trying to get to me?

"You know in mine and Steve's day you would never see a dame wearing shorts that tiny." I snort out a laugh.

"Yea well us modern women like being cool in the summer and can wear whatever we feel like without being judged too harshly." I take a big gulp of my wine and angle myself so I'm facing more towards Bucky even though I'm honestly scared if I keep looking at him this closely I might do something stupid.

"God bless the twenty first century." I can't help but bust up at that. He's smiling broadly, looking pleased with himself.

"I'm really glad you seem to be doing so well you know? Steve was so worried about you, I honestly didn't know what to expect when he told me you were coming here." The smile wipes from his face. He's silent for a moment but holds my gaze with an intensity that's hard to look away from.

"I don't know if I'd say I'm doin well exactly…but I'm free." He's speaking quietly, a little shaky. "I'm free for the first time in over seventy years and I can't just throw that away. After everything Steve's been through thinkin I was dead and then findin out what really happened…he feels guilty, he feels responsible for all that bullshit and I know that if I sit here and shut down and freak out like I feel I'm gonna most of the time it will tear him apart. He'll blame himself if he sees me like that and I just can't do that to him. I remember him, I remember so much of our lives growin up now, he's my family. Even after everything I've done he refuses to give up on me so if I give up on myself it would be like a slap to the face. I won't put him through any more pain, I don't want to hurt anyone ever again." I'm on the verge of tears. He and Steve have the kind of friendship most people never experience.

I don't think before I do it but I'm suddenly wrapping my arms around Bucky and burying my face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. I feel and hear him inhale deeply. He stiffens for the briefest moment before his strong arms are squeezing me right back. He's warm and smells like a mixture of sandalwood and metal, its ridiculously alluring.

"You're an amazing man James Barnes." I pull away from him slowly, not really wanting to. Instead I take his metal hand in mine and stay close. "I want you to know you really can talk to me. I don't want you to internalize everything just because you don't want to hurt Steve. You don't have to make an appointment you can just call or show up at my door, I don't care if its two in the morning, I want to help you so please don't hide all your pain from me. You deserve to be happy." His eyes are swimming with some kind of emotion I can't name. He looks down to our intertwined hands and gives me a squeeze.

"This thing really don't bother you?" I don't think he knows how to respond to all I said and I'm ok with that because he looks like he was hanging on to my every word and I know one day it will be easier for him to speak his mind. It's my turn to grin at him.

"I think I already told you this morning in not so many words exactly how much it doesn't bother me." Blue eyes are darkening dangerously and I dare to inch closer.

"You're killin me here sweetheart." That smooth voice is barely above a whisper. I can't stop staring at those plumps of his.

"Dinner has arrived!" Steve's cheerful voice and the slam of the door makes us jump apart. Bucky runs his hands through his hair and groans out ебать (fuck). Tell me about it. Steve has some awful timing.

I get up quickly to assist Steve with getting all the cartons of food out of the bags and opening them. "I ordered pretty much everything since I'm pretty sure Buck's never had Thai before." There's enough food to feed a small army here but I guess you probably need that much when feeding super soldiers and I'm sure not complaining. All three of us pile our plates way too high with food.

We decide to watch Ace Ventura and its an obvious hit because the two men just can't stop laughing. They banter back and forth and talk about their childhoods for hours on end. I've never seen Steve so full of joy and it warms my heart to be a witness. I'm almost positive there's no one else on earth that deserves happiness more than these two men. They'd both sacrificed so much.

"We should all go to Coney Island sometime, the whole team. It's one thing that time hasn't completely destroyed." Steve sounds so enthusiastic.

"I remember us having some real good times there." Bucky's smiling fondly, remembering days long past.

"Was your favorite place to take whatever girl you were seeing at the time." They both chuckle.

"Who doesn't like being won a teddy bear? Worked every time." I scoff and roll my eyes at the two men playfully. "Don't worry doll I'll win you the biggest one there and then I'll take ya on the wonder wheel." He winks dramatically at me making Steve laugh.

"I might be harder to impress than those starry eyed girls of the forties Sarge." There's something about me calling him that always causes his eyes to blow wide.

My phone chimes loudly, it's Natasha. "Excuse me for a sec boys." I leave the room and walk into the bathroom to take the phone call.

"Hey Nat!"

"I'm sorry I left today without saying bye Liya. Got some field work I'm doing for Stark that couldn't really wait." I can tell from her tone of voice that she won't elaborate right now, she never truly trusted a phone line to be secure.

"Its fine. Steve and Bucky are keeping me company." She huffs loudly.

"Of course they are. So you boning Barne's yet? I'd kick her if she was here.

"Don't be ridiculous." Not that I wouldn't, not that I haven't thought about it.

"It's not ridiculous, its inevitable. Let me know when it happens so I can kick his ass and threaten to slit his throat accordingly." Was the attraction really that noticeable?

"Whatever you say mom. I'm going to go back to what I was doing now. Stay safe and text me later." She laughs before hanging up.

I open the bathroom door and almost scream because of course Bucky is standing right outside silent as ever. I smack his chest and prepare to give him a verbal beating but he's pushing me into the room and trapping me between his arms and the wall. My breath hitches when my back hits the wall. The look he's giving me is downright sinful. Well this was unexpected.

Now that he's got me in this position he seems lost. He's breathing hard but completely silent. Maybe Steve was right and I do need to take the initiative. Despite that I still think I should give Bucky the control here since he's went far too long without it. I speak quietly and keep my eyes trained on his. "What do you want right now Bucky?" I sound breathier than I intended. He swallows visibly when I lick lips.

"Nothin I deserve to have." I reach a hand out slowly to cup his cheek. His eyes close as he pushes into my touch.

"You deserve everything." I say it with resolve and it breaks his.

His lips are soft and warm and more than I could've hoped for. He's passionate and intense and so very him. I tangle my hands into his hair when he grasps my hips. I give his hair a slight tug and the low moan he makes shoots right through me. It's me that pushes my tongue into his mouth, it earns me another wicked sound and he pulls me flush against him. A loud cough from Steve in the other room has Bucky separating himself from me. We both know he was doing it to remind us of his presence.

"Was it alright that I did that doll?" He's unsure of himself and a little out of breath.

"Yes. In fact, I think you should definitely do it again sometime very soon." He chuckles and presses a quick peck to the top of my head.

"We better get back to that punk in there before he tries to embarrass the hell outta me." We're both smiling like idiots. I almost don't care that Steve's in the other room.

Everything was going to change now and for the first time in my life I couldn't be happier about that.