No … I won't start another series. But the Lone Hedonist was interesting enough for me to do a second one. Just because. This is only mildly funny though. Very mildly.

The Lone Hedonist Helps a Random Harry

Harry looked around at the new universe he was dropped into. Hmmm … it looked like Gringotts. There were several people looking at him. "Hello, Folks! What seems to be the problem?"

Only one person seemed to be unshocked enough to reply – goblins really don't get surprised by much. "Well, you have arrived during the Inheritance interview for Mr. Harry James Potter …"

Harry heard his dimensional counterpart call out, "Jamie!" Harry looked over and saw … shudder … his dimensional twin looking lovingly at a … MASSIVE shudder … much more flamboyantly dressed version of Draco Malfoy.

The goblin looked over at the young wizard. "Yes. Whatever. Your legal name is Harry James Potter – whatever silly human nickname you have taken for yourself."

The local Harry huffed. "Well, you were just busy telling me why I can't get my inheritance. I don't see why I have to follow your rules!"

Harry Pimp was curious. "Why can't he get his inheritance?"

The goblin looked at the local Harry who motioned the goblin to answer – being too involved in pouting to answer himself.

"Mr. Potter, to accept his inheritance, must either marry four women or must get four women impregnated so that his houses are not lost. If he refuses to accept the condition, the estate will be turned over to the closest male relative. And Mr. Potter will no longer be able to purchase," here the goblin shuddered, "any further marital aids."

The local Harry once again interjected. "And I was telling him it's impossible. My soul-mate is Draco-love and so I can't get married." He paused for a moment and then petulantly added, "Besides. Girls are icky."

Harry Pimp almost hurled when he saw Draco Malfoy leave over and kiss this alternate on the head in comfort.

He turned back to the goblin. "What are the requirements?"

The goblin replies, "Mr. Potter must either impregnate several women or get married. We don't see the problem. Even Mr. Malfoy's father married a woman and had a child – even though his son didn't fall far from the rock as they say. We at Gringotts don't care what he does with his life, but a biological child of House Potter must be provided or planned or he must renounce it."

Harry Pimp thought about it. "Er. By the way, I'm a 'Harry Potter' too … from another universe."

The local Harry whispered, "A Breeder!" in awe.

The goblin looked at the local Harry and said, "Elucidate."

"Well … I recognize what the visiting Harry is wearing. And among those in my community, we call those that have male-female relationships breeders – it's their job to provide the next generation." He turned to the visiting Harry. "Will you help me out by agreeing to get four women pregnant with Potter children for me? I'll pay for the women's support, love them as my own children – just so long as I don't have to do that with a woman." At the word that, Harry made a face.

The visiting Harry was curious. "What's the problem with women?"

Harry looked at Draco, who nodded. Harry turned back and solemnly replied, "My darling Aunt Petunia decided that I needed to help Vernon with family duties when I was eight years old. She ended up shived in prison and I ended up scarred for life."

Harry nodded in understanding. "I guess I can see your point." He turned back to the goblin. "Will that be acceptable?"

The goblin shrugged. "As long as you prove you're a Potter by blood, we will accept it." He paused and then continued, "It's a very acceptable and traditional method in some of the older families."

Draco and the local Harry smirked at each other.

Harry Pimp was surprised to find himself in a room with Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Narcissa Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Andromeda Tonks. Well, not surprised to be in the room with them – surprised that it was so friendly.

"So, what happened to Voldemort?" Harry Pimp was curious.

Lucius "Luscious" Malfoy fielded that question. "Well, after lovely Sev here," he put his hand over the Potion's master with obvious affection, "reported that my son was following in my footsteps with lovely Harry here, I couldn't very well allow such a person to threaten my boy's happiness. So I worked with Albus – who was very sympathetic to the problem – to make certain he wouldn't be back."

"Ah." After considering that he dismissed that train of thought and said, "So. Prospects?"

The Drarry Harry replied, "Well, I've gotten offers from several female friends to be surrogates. If it wasn't for the fact that the child has to be conceived 'normally' I would have taken them up on it. Most of them are of age as of right now."

Harry Pimp nodded. "Just no one who's jailbait – I may be a pleasure-seeking, pimpin' babe-magnet of a lothario – but I'm no pedophile."

Narcissa smirked viciously as she replied, "In the Wizarding world, the age of consent with a parent's permission is twelve."

Harry hid his shudder. Twelve? Wizards were screwed up. He replied, "Sorry – no one under seventeen. I'm under Magical oath." He wasn't really – but this was his standard reply.

Drarry Harry pouted. "That means I can't foist Fangirl Ginny off on you. That girl has been a menace."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I had to teach him the Marauders' tricks on avoiding potions." Remus nodded in agreement to that one.

After a long and interesting meeting, Luscious asked Pimp Harry to stay back. After most left the room, all that was left was the elder Malfoys and Severus Snape.

"I was wondering if you might help another wizard in a similar circumstance," Lucy began.

Pimp Harry was interested. "Oh? Whom needs the help?"

"Well, Cissy here has been wanting another child. And with how hard it was to perform with a woman to get Draco, it hasn't happened. Her normal bevy of lovers are, none of them, from a prestigious enough family to allow their seed to be used. So, we were wondering if you would consent to spending enough time with her to ensure she is left with child."

Harry looked over at Narcissa, who was eyeing him with a hungry look. "Well, she's quite the MILF – I don't think I'd have problem with that."

By the time Harry was moved on by the multiverse, there were far more than four babies waiting to be born. Pimp Harry didn't mind the time spent – women during certain times of their pregnancies were often quite horny.