"Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me through the mountains
Through the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea" Crystal by Stevie Nicks
Sleeping next to Bucky gave me the best nights rest I've had in years, complete dreamless sleep. I can feel eyes on me before I even open mine. I stretch lazily and groan before finally opening my eyes to take in the beautiful man beside me. Bucky is lying on his side face propped up on his flesh hand grinning down at me in the most carefree way.
"Good morning doll." His voice is still raspy from sleep, the warm smile gracing his lips is contagious. I snuggle into his chest and press a kiss there.
"It's a little creepy to stare at someone while they're sleeping Buck." He chuckles and gently rolls me over to my back so he can hover over me.
"I wake up in the bed of the most sexy woman on the face of the Earth who also happens to be naked and you expect me not to stare?" It's wonderful to hear that joking tone of his but I'm honestly having a hard time concentrating on anything he's saying because he too is naked and intimately pressed against me. I let my eyes trail down his bare chest before it registers that he's actually speaking and my eyes snap back to his. He's laughing again. "Now who's staring?"
I take his face in my hands to pull him close so I can feel those perfect pouty lips against my own. Bucky responds eagerly, a pleasured groan leaving his throat as his tongue tangles with mine. My whole body feels like it's on fire all over again. I push against his strong shoulders so he'll roll to his back.
"I want to ride you James." The growl that rumbles through his chest as he pulls me to straddle his waist has me even more eager if that's possible. Both metal and flesh grip my hips as he lowers me onto his waiting cock.
"Fuck Liya, you feel so damn good." Our rhythm is slow and unhurried. I roll my hips in time with his sharp thrusts. We just fit together so perfectly. It doesn't take long before I'm moaning loudly and chasing my peak.
"That's it, cum for me darlin." He pushes his metal thumb past my lips, I eagerly suck at it. Next thing I know he's pressing the metal digit to my aching clit.
"Bucky!" My orgasm triggers his own. I love feeling the hot pulse of him inside me. I collapse on his chest for a moment before flopping to my side next to him.
"Let's go take a shower baby." The way he lights up when I call him that is enough to make my heart feel like it's going to burst.
I've never been good at keeping my thoughts to myself, maybe it's the therapist in me. I believe in taking action when you need to regardless of how difficult the task may be. So as Bucky and I finish off our breakfast I know I need to speak my mind about our future.
"Bucky, I don't want to hide this. I honestly don't think I could keep how I feel about you to myself." He runs his flesh hand through his hair and sighs. The look on his face is conflicted, his lips are tugged up in a small smile but his eyes are stormy, almost sad.
"I don't think I could hide it either sweetheart but what's that gonna mean for you? Obviously Stevie knows and I'm sure Nat does too, but Stark? He hates me and I don't blame him one bit. I don't want you to lose your friend over me. I'm sure he won't be the only one who won't be ok with us being together." Together. Funny how that's what's tugging at my heart more than the rest of his speech. I know what he says is true and I hate that for him. He deserves all the happiness in the world.
"Anyone who has a problem with us is just going to have to get over it. I know all of this is this crazy and everyone will probably thinks it's too fast but they don't know what we're feeling and they don't know the amazing man that you are. I will find a way to get through to everyone. I think that I can. If you really want to pursue this with me than I will do everything I can to protect us." He reaches across the small table between us and takes my hand in his. Happiness is reaching his blue eyes again.
"Doll, I've wanted you for so long, even when I didn't know myself, without even knowing you were real. There's nothing that's gonna keep me away from you now that I have you." I'm not an overly emotional person, I couldn't be when I was a SHIELD agent and I can't now that my job is to help people control their own emotions, but Bucky's words have me tearing up.
"I have an idea but I'm going to have to ask you a favor." He cocks his head to the side. "I can't remember the last time someone asked me for a favor honestly, but anything that you need doll." I laugh and squeeze his hand.
"I know your sketches are deeply personal to you, and I know they're one of the only constants you've ever had but I'd like to borrow the sketch book you showed me last night. I promise I will take care of it and give it right back after I've showed it to someone." He's trying his best to not look unsure but I can sense the surprise and uncertainty in his gaze.
"You sure you want to show those to someone? I mean I drew you in some pretty compromising positions. Even I felt like a dirty old man drawing some of the more risqué ones." I think some of those 1940s traditional beliefs are still instilled into that pretty head of his.
"If you don't mind I really would like to show them to someone that I think could help talk some sense into Tony." He nods his head in understanding.
"Of course, anything you ever want, it's yours." How the hell did I get so lucky? I mean this man is too sweet for his own good.
Bucky reluctantly agrees to go with Steve to workout so I can pop into my office to keep my few appointments for the day. My work day goes quicker than I anticipated honestly since I can't seem to stop thinking about how badly I just want to be in my soldiers arms again. Luckily I'm done with work early so I can make the meeting I arranged earlier through some vague email exchanges.
I take the quick elevator trip to Tony's suite. I'm greeted by the warm but poised Pepper Potts as soon as I step out the doors.
"It's always lovely to see you Aneliya. I have to say I'm pretty intrigued by all this secrecy. Im sure you know Tony is in the lab with Bruce and that's why you wanted to meet." I follow Pepper to she and Tony's lavishly decorated living room and take a seat on the couch beside her.
"I need to show you something and I have to tell you some things that I need you to have an open mind about. I've always respected you Pep, we've been friends for a long time now and you know how much Tony means to me." My ginger haired friend looks concerned now.
"We both adore you, you know that. What's going on?" I take a deep breath before I begin.
"You know that James Barnes is staying at the compound now?" Pepper nods her head, worry still marring her features.
"So this is about Him? That's why you wanted to speak to me alone. I've tried to get Tony to really think everything with him through, I really have. Honestly Liya I can't even believe you were able to talk Tony into allowing him to stay here. If you're here to defend Bucky you don't have to. I may not be an avenger but I've read all the debriefings even when I shouldn't have and I've spoken to Steve and Natasha and I know that the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes aren't the same person. What happened to that poor man breaks my heart. Tony is angry and he's scared and we can't blame him for that. I'll keep trying to do what I can to help him heal and help get him through what he saw Bucky do to his parents but you'll probably make more of an impact than I will." Pepper is such an amazing woman, she's tough but compassionate and exactly what Tony needs.
"When I first met Steve and we became friends he started coming to talk to me about his past and how lost he was even before I stopped being a SHIELD agent. We just hit it off, I've always been good at listening, at giving advice. He opened up to me about how hard it was for him to acclimate to this time when to him no time at all had passed since the 1940s. More than anything he talked about how much he missed his best friend, Bucky was his family. From the moment he said his name and showed me his picture I couldn't keep my mind off of him. I read everything I could about him and admired the man who had sacrificed his life for this country. We used to go to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian undercover all the time, Natasha would always give me shit for how much time I spent standing in front of the Bucky Barnes section of the exhibit. Then Steve found out he was alive and not only was I thrilled for him but I was beyond excited at the prospect of meeting the man one day. When I talked Tony into letting him stay here Natasha was worried. She knew somehow that my fascination with him meant something, she knew it was beyond curiosity and she knew that I would care about him from the moment I set eyes on him." Pepper reaches over and takes my hands in hers. She smiles sweetly and gives my hands a squeeze.
"And you do care for him?" She doesn't sound judgmental, maybe she heard something in my voice that I didn't realize I conveyed. I huff out a laugh at my disbelief of this whole
Situation that I still haven't quite grasped.
"You can't even understand how much I care about him already Pep, I mean I guess I always did which sounds insane. He cares about me too, there's this thing between us that is irrevocable and that's what I need to talk to you about. We started…a romantic relationship and Tony he's not going to understand. He's going to see this as a betrayal and I don't want to hurt him. I won't hide it from him and I won't stop seeing Bucky so I need him to understand." I reach into my work suitcase and pull out the sketch pad. I hand it to Pepper, she raises an eyebrow and waits for me to explain. "When Bucky was still the Winter Soldier one of the few things he was allowed when he came out of cryo were sketch books. He and Steve used to draw back when they were growing up and it's something from his past that stuck with him. He never knew why they let him draw but he did. This book in particular contains sketches of a woman that he dreamt of for years and years. He thought maybe it was someone from his past, someone who slipped through the cracks of his forgotten memories, he thought that until he came here and saw me."
I gesture to Pepper to open the sketch book. She gasps as she flips through page after page of me. Her fingers trace the dates in the corner of each page. "We didn't even know you yet in some of these, you were so young." She lingers on a drawing of me sitting beside Tony in the old avengers tower with a smile on his face and finally she turns to the last page with Bucky and I embracing.
"Aneliya…he's your soulmate. Tony of all people can't fault you for falling in love with your soulmate." Falling in love… that's exactly what this is isn't it? Did I deserve the love of this man? Wait what did she mean by he couldn't fault me?
"Tony is far too logical to buy into this even though to me there's no denying it at this point, but how the hell can I convince him of something that I can't explain? You hardly hear about anyone having soul mates anymore. It isn't as if we get marks anymore you know? It seems like it's died out as time has gone on." She simply smiles at me as I rant.
"Tony will understand because I'm his soulmate. Why the hell do you think I keep coming back to that arrogant reckless man? It hurts too much to stay away from him. We were always drawn to each other and Tony being him drowned it out with booze and women and fought it because he's exactly as you say he is, but he couldn't deny it anymore once he let down his walls. We had to be in each other's lives." My mind is officially blown. Tony Stark not only believes in soul mates but has one.
"I don't even know what to say now Pepper. You know it still won't be that easy though, nothing ever is with Tony but you've eased my worries a lot. I'll try to speak with him tomorrow if I can." Pepper stands and pulls me into a hug.
"I'm happy you trusted me with this. You've done so much for all of us over the years and I'm glad that you feel you can turn to me with something like this and that I can be of help. We will find a way to get through to Tony together." I squeeze my friend back fondly. Pepper keeps her hands on my shoulders even when she pulls away. "Liya, don't fight how you're feeling about Bucky, trust me it will only hurt you both in the long run. You love that man with everything you have and you let him love you back, take care of each other. I don't know what exactly I believe in in this crazy world we live in. There's aliens and mutants and superhero's and Gods and so many things I never thought would be possible. Just know that something greater than all of us knew that you and that man needed each other and trust in that, no matter what will be thrown at us we will always have another half of us to keep us whole and grounded. There's great comfort in that, at least I think so." Yea Pepper, I think there is too.