"Light reflects from your shadow
It is more than I thought could exist
You move through the room
Like breathing was easy
If someone believed me
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
In love, love, love
And everyday
I am learning about you
The things that no one else sees
And the end comes too soon
Like dreaming of angels
And leaving without them" Angels by xx
Chapter 9
I make my way to Steve and Bucky's apartment without so much as even changing my clothes. It's pretty ridiculous how much I've missed being away from Bucky today. It isn't until I'm standing in front of their door that I realize I never even asked if I could come by. I start feeling ridiculously nervous. Maybe he doesn't even want to see me right now. Maybe he needs some space or time to spend with other people. Aren't I supposed to be helping? Am I being selfish? All the intrusive thoughts are enough to have me turning back around before I even lift a hand to knock or ask Friday to let the boys know I'm at their door.
I'm only a few steps away from the door when I hear it open. "Liya? What're ya doin?" I slowly turn back around to look at Bucky. My heart races the second I lay eyes on him. How the hell did he manage to look so damn good just wearing a plain shirt and sweatpants? How could one glance at him make me feel so fucking elated and warm and whole. He's smiling fondly, like he's so happy to see me.
"Um…I'm not really sure. I just got done with everything I had to do today and it's like my feet carried me to your door before I could really think about what I was doing. Then I got here and just kept thinking how stupid it was of me to show up without an invitation or without at least asking so I was just going to go back to my floor. I just missed you, which is silly I guess. And now I'm feeling uncharacteristically nervous and can't stop rambling."
His smile widens before he closes the small distance between us and pulls me into his warm embrace. God he smells good, all manly but fresh, and just Bucky like really. He kisses the top of my head before pulling back to look me in the eyes. "I missed you too doll. Haven't stopped thinkin about you all day. I was about five minutes from bursting through your door honestly." I laugh at his playful tone.
I can't help but to pull him down into a kiss. His lips feel perfect on mine, so soft and unyielding. He pulls my body even closer to his and I rake my hands through his thick hair.
"Hey guys think you can stop making out like teenagers in the hall and come eat dinner? It's ready." We both break apart with a laugh at Steve's teasing voice.
"Leave it to Captain America to be a cock block." Bucky snorts at that and has the audacity to slap my ass to get me moving.
I dramatically throw my arms around Steve when I walk into the kitchen. "Steven, I love you dearly even though you're a pain in the ass." The blonde just pats my hands and shrugs me off of him. Steve made cheeseburgers and fries and has them already on our plates at the table. "Jesus Rogers you really are an all American boy through and through." He just rolls his eyes and gestures for me to take a seat.
"I was hoping you'd be by for dinner. Buck was driving me insane today with how antsy he was, he couldn't shut up about you." Said super soldier glares daggers at his equally super best friend.
"Can it punk. I was just eager to get the hell away from Wilson. That guy never stops talking, I thought I'd end up using him for target practice if I didn't get out of that gym." Steve and I both laugh at that. I think we are both happy at how well Bucky seems to be doing and how freely he's speaking.
We finish off our meal slowly, enjoying all the banter between the three of us. I love the friendship between Bucky and Steve and I love that I seem to fit in seamlessly. Steve decides to get to bed early since he leaves on a mission with Sam in the morning to meet up with Nat. He makes me promise to keep an eye on Bucky for him which I of course agree to do.
Bucky and I are curled up on the couch watching Harry Potter, it's something he and Steve both need to check off their lists. We're both laying down, Bucky's behind me propped up on the arm of the couch. Who'd have thought that the man who was formerly the winter soldier would like to cuddle?
"I think I'm going to reschedule my two appointments for tomorrow and spend it with you and also try to get Tony to speak with me. I think I'll put in some vacation time.." I feel him stiffen for a moment before he resumes trailing his fingers up and down my arm.
"I don't want ya to start messing up your work schedule because of me doll. I'll be fine tomorrow while you're at work." I let out a sigh and sit up on the couch, he follows suit so he's seated beside me.
"I know you'll be fine baby. I've never taken even a day of vacation time and it would really make me feel better if I could help get you settled in more. The plan was always to devote a lot of time to your recovery when you got here. I promised Steve that I would help you before I even knew you. Neither of us realized you'd be in as good of shape as you are, and despite how well you seem to be doing on the surface you still told me you're fighting demons in that head of yours. I don't think that this romantic relationship is going to magically make everything ok for you. I'm still determined to help you, even more-so now. We are going to have to bring you around the rest of the team at some point too, I don't think they got to know you too well during that whole fiasco at the airport." I'm surprised to hear a deep chuckle next to me,. Bucky is just flat out laughing at me.
"Jesus doll, you always have that much stuff on your mind?" I glare pointedly at the former assassin and poke him hard in the chest. He grins before brining my hand up to his lips. "You're already helping, more than ya know. I promise I'll let ya pick my brain still. As for the team, it might take me a little bit more time to want to be around a lot of other people. I know I've been really open and easy going with you and I really think that's because of the whole soul mate thing. I've known Stevie since I was a kid and he's barely changed other than the way he looks, but there's still times I don't know the right way to talk to him because I'm not the same. There's a lot of pretending and thinking how would his Bucky answer this and that. I don't trust easily anymore and I'm still worried that all any of those other guys are going to see is the Hydra and Shield files they've read on me." He tapers off at the end, his voice sounding solemn.
It hurts me that he's so worried about all of that. He deserves so much happiness, he deserves the world. I would give anything to go back and change things for him. The walls of his and Steve's living room are covered in old black and white photographs of the two of them. They both look so carefree, their arms slung around each other, pictures of Bucky and Steve laughing, pictures of the howling commandos as a whole.
I turn back to Bucky and straddle his waist, he settles his hands on my hips and leans back against the back of the couch. My hands trail up his strong chest before cradling his face. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch for a moment before meeting mine.
"You don't have to be anyone other than who you are right now. Steve knows that and he'll feel better seeing the real you.. Everyone else is going to like you too, you just have to give them the chance." I press a soft kiss to Bucky's lips and then bury my face in his neck.
"You're way too good for me doll. I keep thinkin of all these disgustingly romantic books and poetry I used to read back when Steve and I were in school. He used to give me so much shit because I would memorize poems to recite to whichever dame I was takin out that week. He was always way nicer than me, thought it was cruel for me to string em along. Now all those poems just keep poppin into my head because they remind me of you." I laugh against him before trailing kisses up his neck until I reach his ear, I bite down playfully making him groan.
"I think you're secretly a romantic Sarge. Did you ever read Wuthering Heights?" He nods absentmindedly as he's now returning the favor by kissing and sucking at my neck. I try to remember the quote that made me think of him but I'm quickly turning into a damn puddle with the way he's making me feel. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." The words come out breathier than I meant. Bucky pulls away and smiles softly, his flesh hand cups my cheek sweetly.
"I like that sweetheart, I like that a whole lot." Our lips meet slowly this time but no less passionately than usual. I can't help but to grind down on the growing hardness beneath me. Bucky's breath hitches and his grip on my waist tightens. "God damn, you drive me crazy. I think I'll take you right here on the couch." All I can do is moan in acceptance. He can take me absolutely anywhere he wants to. It doesn't take long long for us to both toss our clothes to unknown corners of the living room.
I lie back on the couch and pull Bucky with me. He pushes into me slowly, both of us moaning. "You feel so fucking good angel, you take me so well." My nails dig into his lower back making him hiss out in pain laced pleasure. My hips meet his thrust for thrust.
"Harder baby, please fuck me harder." He growls and I hear the whir of his vibranium arm as he clutches to the arm of the couch for leverage and gives me exactly what I want. I know I should be keeping quieter but I can't seem to stop chanting Buckys name and cursing the closer he brings me to my orgasm.
Our skin slaps together obscenely and I swear I hear the sound of fabric ripping. "You gotta cum for me, I wanna feel that sweet pussy squeezing my cock ." And that's all it takes to send me soaring, I bite into Buckys shoulder to try to muffle my scream of pleasure. He groans and thrusts hard twice more before I feel him pulsing inside me.
"That dirty mouth of yours is going to kill me James." The soldier laughs and presses a kiss to my sweaty forehead. We both sit up and stretch.
"Oh man, Steves gonna kill me." I look to where Bucky's pointing. The fabric on the arm of the couch has been effectively torn to pieces, I can see splinters of wood sticking through. We both bust up laughing. "Let's go get cleaned up and get to bed. I'll buy the punk a new couch tomorrow." We giggle like children all the way to the bathroom.
When morning rolls around Bucky and I take our time getting ready for the day and eating breakfast. He comes back to my floor with me so I can dress in a simple pair of yoga pants and loose t shirt. I figure since we are just going to be spending the day watching movies and talking I can dress casually.
We're on the third Harry Potter movie now and Bucky really seems to be enjoying it. He asks a lot of questions which is adorable, he finds it fascinating how far film making has come. Our little peaceful day takes an abrupt turn when Fridays voice comes through the speakers.
"Mr. Stark is at your door Miss Angelov." Bucky's face pales and he looks pained.
"Shit! Can you please tell Tony that I'll come meet him in my office in thirty minutes." I jump to my feet to go find more suitable clothes.
My heart drops when I hear my door unlock and swing open. Fucking Tony overthrowing my security. His voice booms out and I instinctively go to stand in front of Bucky.
"Sorry Annie, but I need to discuss some important shit and seeing as this is my…" Tony's voice trails off when he comes through the archway of my living room. His eyes first take in my tense form before they drift to the couch behind me and the man sitting there. "Why is he alone with you? He should not be around you without Rogers being here." He spits the words out between clenched teeth.
"Tony, I am completely safe with Bucky. Let's go talk in my office ok?" I take a step forward to try to get him moving. Tony laughs humorlessly.
"Safe? With him? I've seen the damage this maniac does once he gets set off, he's a fucking monster Annie, you shouldn't be alone with him." Im seeing red, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I hear Bucky stand up from the couch to stand beside me. His jaw is tense.
"I would never hurt her. Not in a million years." He sounds much calmer than I expected. I don't even realize I reached for his hand until I feel the metal beneath my fingertips. He looks surprised that I'm touching him in front of our current company. Tony looks between the two of us with a mixture of shock, anger, and confusion.
"What the hell is going on here?" I did not want to have this talk like this.
"Tony, we need to sit down and have a calm conversation. There are a lot of things I need to explain to you. I will not allow some horrible fight or confrontation to happen right now." He makes no sign of even hearing me other than glaring and clenching his fists. "If you care about me Ton, you will sit down and let me talk to you." His eyes seem to soften a bit but he still hasn't moved.
Friday's voice rings through the speakers again. "Miss Potts is requesting entry." I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God, let her in please."
Peppers heels clink across the floor quickly and before I know it she's standing on the other side of me. .
"When Friday told me where Tony was I got here as quickly as I could." Tony looks angry all over again.
"Oh, so you know what's going on here? Are you in on whatever the hell this is?" Pepper shakes her head in exasperation and goes to Tony.
"Tony, we need to sit down with Liya and Sergeant Barnes and talk." Tony scoffs at Buckys title but finally seems to concede. We all make our way to thrtable in the kitchen. Bucky and Tony both still seem poised for battle even sitting down. I scoot my chair closer to the super soldier.
"So someone want to explain why Pep here seems to know something that I don't about the going's on in my compound." God he could sound like a real dick when he wanted to.
"First of all Tony, my personal life isn't anyone's business unless I decide to share it." I don't mean to sound snippy, it really isn't going to help but I hate that tone he's using. I have to reign in my temper though, I knew this would be hard on him, I'm his counselor for god sakes. Be professional!
"Personal life? So you're spending time with The winter soldier and that somehow fits into your personal life!?" His voice is rising unnecessarily. I look to Bucky who despite being tense looks surprisingly composed.
"His name is Bucky, he is not the winter soldier anymore. You're not helping anything by being so hostile. I want to have a serious conversation so if you could please lower your voice I would really appreciate it." I try to sound calm, using my work voice.
"You're really pushing it princess. How the hell am I supposed to act composed around the guy who murdered my parents!?" Pepper puts a hand on Tony's arm.
"Ton, you have got to stop with all that. You know that wasn't really him. You gave him a chance by letting him move here, that means something. You know that he doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Pepper talks to him soothingly. She's really trying and I love her for it.
"So what am I supposed to do? Just forget it ever happened?" He doesn't sound mad anymore. He sounds tired and sad. I reach across the table and take Tony's hand in mine.
"I know you can't forget what you saw Tony, I know how difficult it is to be around Bucky because all you're seeing is the man who killed your parents. But this man sitting right here is the victim of so much pain and torture. He is not the same person who did those awful things." I hear Bucky shift beside me. His eyes are watery.
"I don't ever expect your forgiveness, I sure as hell don't deserve it. Howard was my friend…I wish I could take back. I wish I would have died when I fell off that train rather than turning into the thing that Hydra made me." His voice breaks at the end. I don't even think about it I just throw my arms around him.
"Please don't say that James, don't ever say that again. It wasn't your fault baby." The term of endearment leaves my lips unbidden.
"What the fuck did you just call him!?" Now Tony looks livid. Why did I say that? I can't seem to control myself around Bucky.
"He's my…" Bucky interrupts me with a shake of his head and a hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off of me.
"Tony, he's my soulmate." Stark is as white as a sheet. Everyone goes completely still and silent. Bucky is gaping at me in disbelief that I just out and said it. Pepper is watching her fiancé like he might snap at any moment.
Tony removes his purple tinted glasses and wipes a hand over his face, pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a loud sigh. "Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be? Am I ever going to catch a damn break?" He sounds more frustrated than angry.
"I was going to tell you today. I talked to Pepper about it yesterday, she said…that you might understand." Now Bucky looks surprised. Tony laughs in disbelief.
"I can't fault you for caring about your soul mate, but fuck do I wish it wasn't him. No offense tin man." Pepper and I both raise a brow at the fact that he gave Bucky a nick name. Tony stands and we all follow suit not knowing what to expect. "Saturday we're having a team dinner, it's mandatory. I expect you both there." I don't even know what to say right now. "This doesn't mean I forgive you, not by a long shot. This means I'm willing to call a truce and try to get to know you for Annie's sake. She's done more for me than I deserve, she's like a sister to me. And this is your one and only warning Barnes, if you hurt her in anyway I swear I'll kill you. And I'll have a whole team of avengers to back me up, you understand?" I still am not quite grasping what's going on right now.
Bucky nods in affirmation, his arms crossed across his broad chest. "If I ever hurt her, I'll let you kill me."
Pepper moves forward to hug me tight and whisper I told you so in me ear. Tony ruffles my hair affectionately with a sad smile on his face. They both leave without another word. I turn to Bucky still gaping like a fish I'm sure.
"What the hell just happened?" My super soldier just shrugs and walks back to the couch where he sits down with more grace than I'll ever have and pats the spot beside him.
"Let's finish this movie Harry Potter movie, I like that Sirius guy." A smile breaks out on my face, of course he does.