"In your eyes, I'm alive
Inside you're beautiful
Something so unusual
In your eyes
I know I'm home (yeah)
Every tear, every fear
Gone with the thought of you
Changing what I thought I knew
I'll be yours for a thousand lives

I'm free as a bird
When I'm flying in your cage
I'm diving in deep
And I'm riding with no brakes
And I'm bleeding in love
You're swimming in my veins
You got me now"

For you by Liam Payne and Rita Ora

Chapter 10

Bucky and I spend the next few days in absolute bliss. Lots of movies to catch him up on, lots of laughter, and more sex than I think I've ever had in my life. At the end of each night we make it a point to talk about the past, he shares tidbits of information with me that he can remember from

His and Steve's younger years and we work up to the tough stuff. It's hard for him to speak of his time in Russia, about his time as the winter soldier. I do my best to help him a long and comfort him as best I can. I swear everyday he starts to remember more, every time something comes back to him he shares it with me. Despite how difficult some of it is he trusts me with his darkest thoughts and memories. I wonder if it's the soul mate bond between us?

The night before our friends are due back from their mission we try to get to sleep early. We know we'll be spending it with Steve and Nat before we have to go to the stress inducing dinner with the team. I fall asleep quickly after an absolutely mind blowing orgasm. Since I've been sleeping next to Bucky I've been more restful and he says he has been too. I'm surprised that it's me that breaks first.

"It's time to come out and play little girl. If you're good I'll buy you something real nice."

I'm hiding in the closet this time, I know he'll find me but I have to try to hide. It's my tenth birthday and my birthdays are always worse than usual. My hands are clasped over my mouth to try to muffle my breathing.

The door creaks open slowly. He's smiling down at me with that cruel wicked smile. His hands wrap around my ankles painfully and he tugs me out of my hiding spot. Tears blur my vision. I try not to make a sound this time when he lands the first blow, I won't give him the satisfaction.

"You're growing up so much little mouse. Let me see just how pretty you are." Now I can't hold back the screams.

"Doll! Wake up!" I can't stop screaming. I lash out violently, trying to tear at whatever is beneath my fingertips. "Sweetheart, it's me. Stop it Liya!" It's the feel of cool metal wrapping firmly around my wrist that snaps me out it. My vision clears and the man in front of me isn't who I thought it was.

Bucky is holding onto my wrists in a tight grip. His blue eyes are frantic and searching. Four scratches, angry and bleeding cover his left cheek.

"Oh God Bucky. I'm so sorry." Sobs wrack my body uncontrollably. He let's go of my wrists and pulls me into his warm chest. Arms wrap securely around me, his flesh hand brushes soothingly through my hair.

"Shh angel, don't cry. I've got you, I'm not goin anywhere." I can't believe that I hurt him. I haven't had a nightmare since I've been with him. I try to control my breathing and pull back to look at Buckys face. He looks so worried for me.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you. I should have warned you that my nightmares are bad sometimes. How could I have been so stupid? You probably think that I'm crazy, and I'm the one that's supposed to be helping you and look at what I've done." I'm no longer crying but I sound pathetic. I can't remember the last time I felt so ashamed.

"Hey, you're not stupid or crazy so just stop with all that. You didn't mean to hurt me and the serum probably healed me up by now. Sweetheart, I'm yours and you're mine, we're supposed to help each other, so talk to me please." I don't want to burden him though, he's been through so much, he doesn't need all of my shit on top of it. The searching look in his eyes makes me break though. He deserves to hear about me after all he's told me about himself.

"My father died in a car accident when I was an infant. My mother didn't handle it well and turned to drugs and alcohol, because of that the men she attracted were never the best. She got married to a man named Phillip when I was five. He was cruel, he used to beat my mother whenever he got too drunk, then he started to beat me. I would always try to hide, of course he always found me. As I got older the beatings escalated…he hurt me in a lot of ways. My mom just let it happen, she knew what he was doing when he would stumble into my room at night and she just let it happen." The sound of Buckys metal limb stops me speaking for a moment. His fist is clenched, he looks furious. He nods for me to continue.

"Eventually I couldn't deal with it anymore. I'd started taking self defense classes with one of my friends I'd confided in. I was a scrawny little thing when I was twelve but my anger definitely gave me some strength, I fought Phillip off when he got particularly drunk and violent one night. I broke my lamp over his head and ran. I lived on the streets for over a year, jumping from shelter to shelter. They don't ask too many questions in the shadier parts of the city, it didn't matter how old I was. I used to get into fights a lot, one time I got jumped by a man in an alley. He had a knife to my throat and I managed to get it from him. It was a lot harder to stab someone than I thought it would be. I didn't know that there was someone watching us until an arrow struck my attacker straight through the eye. Clint Barton told me that if I was going to play with knives that I may as well learn how to use them. He rescued me that day and he brought me home. He hired me tutors and put me through school while he trained me in combat, he raised me even though he was just a young man himself. I got my degree in psychology and also talked Clint into letting me meet his boss. Shield recruited me the second they learned of my existence. Then Nat came into my life because Clint saved her too. We were like a dysfunctional little family, Clint the big brother I never had and Natasha the sister and best friend I always wanted. I didn't get to have a real childhood and I learned from a young age how to be a spy. I've hurt people…I've killed people. I did a lot of things that I thought were right but really weren't. We didn't know that Hydra was in charge, but how couldn't we? So many missions that just felt wrong, that felt off. After all I've been through and all I've overcome I still ended up being that naïve little girl that used to hide away in the closet." I don't realize I'm crying again until I feel Bucky wiping away my tears. He's so gentle with me.

"Doll…I wish I could take away all the pain you're feeling. I hate that any of that happened to you. I want to tear the man apart who hurt you like that. As for everything else, you can't blame yourself for what happened with Hydra. None of you knew and that's exactly what they wanted. If you can look me in the eyes everyday and tell me that I'm not a monster, that it wasn't me, that I didn't know what I was doing then how the hell can you blame yourself? You're a damn angel Liya. You've given me a reason to want to live." Now he sounds choked up. This beautiful, strong, brave man has done exactly for me what he says I've done for him.

"I know it's way too fast and you're probably going to run for the hills after I say this but, I think I'm in love with you Bucky Barnes." I've never seen a smile more genuine than the one that lights up my soldiers face.

"Oh sweetheart, I loved you the first time I ever dreamt of you. I love you so much." I laugh through my tears and throw myself into his arms. Our lips meet passionately and despite how wet with my tears we both are it's absolutely perfect.

This time when sleep takes me there are no nightmares. There's only warmth and dreams of the future I know I'm going to build with Bucky by my side.

It's late morning when I eventually wake up. Surprisingly for the first time ever I'm up before Bucky. I roll out of bed quietly and gently, guess there's still some use for that stealthy spy training after all. Bucky shifts a little but continues to snooze. I don't bother to put any clothes on because I just plan on making a quick trip to the bathroom and then getting back in bed for some wonderful naked cuddling with the ridiculously sexy man laying in my bed.

I'm about to open the bathroom door when I hear a loud crunching sound coming from my living room behind me. I whip around ready to fight regardless of my lack of clothing. I have weapons hidden everywhere, if I have no other choice though I can do without.

"Nice ass." Instead of a former enemy I'm greeted by the smirking face of my best friend who is casually perched on the arm of my couch munching on an apple. She looks gorgeous as usual despite the fact that she has a few fresh bruises on her face.

"Why the hell do you always have to break in? You seriously were about five seconds from getting shot or stabbed Nat." Her perfect eyebrow lifts and she tips her head in contemplation while eyeing me up and down.

"Unless you're hiding a weapon somewhere really uncomfortable I highly doubt you could have attacked me before I would have killed you." I scoff at her response and shake my head.

A throat clears loudly behind me. Bucky is wearing a pair of sweats and his black t shirt from look on his face is pretty comical, I think he's in disbelief that I'm standing in front of Natasha butt ass naked. He unceremoniously removes his shirt and tosses it to me, he has an undershirt on still. The shirt is long enough to cover my ass at least.

"You must be losing your touch Barnes, I can't believe I was able to sneak in here without you knowing." He tenses up at that and shoots the red head a glare.

"If there was a real threat I would have heard it before it ever walked through that door." He's using his cold unfeeling voice again, the one he uses whenever he's speaking to anyone who isn't Steve or I. It makes me sad. Natasha just stares blankly at the super soldier.

"Speaking of threats, I believe I owe you one Barnes." Oh Jesus Christ. Natasha rises gracefully from the arm of the couch and stands directly in front of Bucky, definitely close enough to make him uncomfortable which is what she wants.

"Nat you don't need to give Bucky the shovel talk, Tony beat you to it." She laughs in that raspy way of hers but continues to stare down the man in front of her.

"Liya I am so much more intimidating than Tony Stark. Not to mention I'm infinitely more patient and creative." She kind of had a point honestly. "You hurt her and I will use all those nifty little tricks that I learned from you to destroy your life. Understand?" Just like he did with Tony he nods his head in understanding.

"I love her Natalia, the last thing I want to do is hurt her." My heart clenches at his words. A small but genuine smile lights up Nat's face.

"Good, I'm happy for you. I'm happy for both of you." She lets out an oof sound when I squeeze her tightly. When I pull away my friends nose is wrinkled up.

"Go take a damn shower, you smell like sex and just Barnes in general." I'm surprised the stoic soldier chuckles at that rather than looking mortified like Steve would. He's less of an old fashioned man than Cap is.

"Fuck off Nat. I'll see you later at dinner. Stop breaking in or I'm going to start setting traps." I take Bucky's hand in mine and lead him to the bathroom with me.

"Well that was interesting." I snort out a laugh and fling Bucky's shirt off of me, I can feel his eyes on me while he undresses. I adjust the temperature of the shower and climb in with my soldier not far behind.

Doesn't take long before Bucky can't keep his hands to himself. The hard length of him is pressed between us. Warm lips trail down my neck while I try to rinse out my hair. "Why don't you turn around for me sweetheart?" He wants to take me from behind and honestly it sounds heavenly but more than anything I want to do something for him that he surprisingly hasn't let me do yet.

He looks confused when I push him back against the wall of the shower, I love how much he trusts me though because honestly I couldn't move the man unless he allowed me to. Those steel blue eyes of his widen as I sink to my knees in front of him. I let my hands drag slowly up his legs, maintaining eye contact the whole time. "Y-you don't have to do that." This man has screwed me six ways to Sunday but he feels bad about letting me do this? Really?

"I know I don't have to but I want to Sarge. I've seriously had dreams about it so be a good boy and let me suck your cock." Already lust blown eyes darken even further at my words. I wrap a hand around his length and lick a long stripe from base to tip before taking the head of his dick into my mouth.

"Fuck Liya." He moans lowly, his vibranium hand takes purchase in my hair. I slowly take him down my throat, licking at the underside of his cock while swallowing around him. He can't seem to keep small sounds of pleasure from escaping him. His grip on my hair tightens when I gag a little around him when I take almost his whole length down. God he's a pretty sight with his head thrown back and eyes clenched shut. I can tell he's wanting me to go faster than my leisurely pace I've intentionally set to get a reaction out of him, he's clenching his first and still trying not to tug on my hair too harshly. I pull back with a pop and his eyes immediately meet mine.

"C'mon baby, use me." The sound that leaves him is a mixture between a growl and whine and so unbelievably sexy. This time when I take him in my mouth he tightens that metal hand in my hair almost enough to hurt and guides me exactly how he wants. He thrusts his hips in time with my bobbing head. I'm swallowing around him expertly and not even gagging. My name is leaving his lips like a prayer as he fucks my face and I really could die a happy woman right now.

I'm so turned on that I can't help but to sink two fingers into my dripping heat, I'm so close already. I moan loudly around his cock. "God, you're so sexy. Fuck yourself doll, cum all over your fingers." I follow his sinfully commanding voice and fall apart. The vibrations from my moaning and the fact that I just brought myself to orgasm has him pulsing in my mouth. He thrusts as deep as he can go, swearing loudly as he cums down my throat.

Bucky sinks to shower floor as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. He's smiling all dopey looking completely blissed out.

"You should be proud of yourself for that, it was incredible." I laugh loudly and he joins in. God, I love this man.

After we've dressed and eaten breakfast we make our way back to his and Steve's floor. "Honey, we're home!" I yell obnoxiously as we walk through the door. A freshly showered Steve Rogers is standing at the kitchen counter pouring himself a cup of coffee. He smiles at the sight of us. The blonde expects my embrace and wraps his arms tightly around me in return. "Missed you Stevie." He returns my sentiment and he and Bucky do some weird shoulder pat man thing that makes me grin.

"So one of you want to explain to me why I've got a new couch?" I'm instantly doubled over in laughter. Bucky just awkwardly combs a hand through his hair looking bashful. The new couch which honestly is nicer and bigger than the old one was delivered yesterday. Steve seems very confused by our reactions and I can't miss out on a chance to mortify him and potentially embarrass Bucky.

"Well you see Stevie I happen to like it rough and your poor couch just couldn't withstand that sexy vibranium arm of Bucky's and honestly you wouldn't have wanted that thing after we were done even if we wouldn't have broken it." Mission accomplished, Steve chokes on his coffee and Bucky is groaning into his hands.

"I really did not need to know any of that! Seriously Buck, you couldn't take her back to your bedroom? You had to defile and break our couch? You two are unbelievable!" I'm only laughing harder now even as Bucky glares at me.

"I'm sorry and I promise it won't happen again Cap, I'll drag him away to his bedroom or my place next time I can't keep my hands to myself. The new couch is my apology for letting things get out of hand." He just rolls his eyes and goes and takes a seat on the new comfier couch. Bucky sits at the opposite end and I plop down in between the two super soldiers.

"I'm just happy for the two of you even though you're obviously a couple of perverts." I elbow the blonde playfully.

"It's all her Steve, she's stolen my virtue and is leading me down a path of sin." I snort at the ridiculousness of that statement.

"I'm not even going to respond to that. Tell me about your mission Stevie." The Captain starts speaking animatedly about what he and Sam and Natasha has gotten themselves into and how smoothly things went as they usually do when the three of them team up together.

Bucky takes my hand in his and the three of us continue on our day enjoying each other's company as we wait for the evening ahead.