"When I was a child, I heard voices
Some would sing and some would scream
You soon find you have few choices
I learned the voices died with me
When I was a child, I'd sit for hours
Staring into open flame
Something in it had a power
Could barely tear my eyes away
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep 'em on a leash" Arsonists Lullaby by Hozier
Chapter 11
"It's going to be just fine Sarge. I'm with you till the end of the line." Bucky snorts our a laugh and presses a kiss to my temple.
"Now you're recycling my old lines?" I slip my gladiator sandals on to go with my low plunging bohemian style maxi dress, Bucky can't seem to keep his eyes off my cleavage.
"Worked for Stevie, but I think I'll let that line be your guys's thing, would hate to come between the bromance." This time he slaps my ass just before I straighten up.
I don't know what it is about dark jeans and a white v neck on this man that has me nearly drooling. When he pulls on a tight black leather jacket I seriously almost go weak in the knees.
"Are you intentionally trying to look so good that I don't let you leave this bedroom? Because it's almost working." That lady killer smile spreads across his handsome face.
"If you're going to make me endure the torture of all this social interaction than I'm at the very least going to make you sweat sweetheart." My glare must not be very intimidating because he just pulls me in for a kiss that's hot enough to leave me breathless than starts leading me towards the elevator.
Both of us take a deep breath before we step out onto the communal floor we use for movie nights, meetings, and big dinners. I grasp Bucky's metal hand in my own as we walk towards the loud voices of our friends in the dining room.
Of course everyone grows quiet when we come into view. Tony and Pepper are seated at the head of the table, he shoots me a tight smile and Pep waves. Peter, Wanda, Vision, Sam, Rhodey, Steve, and Natasha are all already at the table. Sharon is surprisingly missing which I'll have to ask Steve about later.
"Hey kid." The voice behind me immediately has me turning around. I haven't seen Clint Barton in six months and seeing him now smiling widely with his arms stretched out in invitation has me tearing up.
I launch myself into his arms and sniffle against his chest. "I missed you asshole. Don't ever go on vacation without me again." He rubs my back affectionately then pulls away.
"Missed you too Liya. Laura and the kids want you to come visit soon." I tell him I'll come to see them soon.
Bucky is still standing stiffly where I left him. When I hold my hand out to him he joins Clint and I. I think he's surprised I continue to hold his hand, running my thumb over his vibranium knuckles.
"I think you two met briefly before right?" Clint eyes our linked hands before breaking out into a broad grin.
"Yea, fought together at the airport. So you guys boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Oh Clint, blunt as ever. How exactly do I answer that anyway? Bucky squeezes my hand and smiles down at me. I'm surprised when he's the one who speaks up.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend sounds a little juvenile especially considering how strongly I feel about Aneliya, but yes, she's my girl." As I've said before I don't typically blush but damn this man has me turning red. My face lights up at his sweet words, I never thought Bucky would be open about his feelings to someone else. Maybe it's because he knows what Clint means to me.
The archer claps the former assassin on the shoulder, he's still grinning. "Good man Barnes. Haven't seen Liya interested in anyone in ten years and then I get a call from Nat telling me she's found her soulmate, glad it's someone I know can look out for her." Rather than being insulted by Clint insisting that I need looked after I'm overjoyed by his acceptance of our relationship. I would have been devastated if Clint didn't approve.
"If you guys can all stop being mushy and sit down for dinner that'd be great! I slaved over this meal." I roll my eyes at Tony's loud voice. I take a seat next to Natasha with Bucky beside me. Clint sits directly across from me beside Steve and Sam.
"So by slaved over this meal you really mean you told Friday to call a Mexican restaurant and order takeout?" Tony flips me off but smirks nonetheless. Bucky seems overwhelmed by all the choices so I tell him a few of my favorites and he stacks his plate high.
I'm starting to wonder why the hell I was so nervous about this dinner to begin with. Everyone seems to be going out of there way to involve Bucky in their conversations, no one is treating him any differently than anyone else.
Everything is going so well…until it's not."Boss, my security protocols have been compromised on this level." Friday's voice is enough to launch us all to our feet. What the hell did that mean? The elevator dings before any of us can grab weapons. I'm pushed roughly behind Bucky. Seriously? He doesn't think I can defend myself? The familiar sound of slow steady boot clad footsteps echoes on the hard wood. Dressed as usual in black from head to toe is Nick Fury. My stomach drops, nothing good can come from a visit from Nick Fury, even though he was no longer the director of Shield it didn't exactly stop him from handing out missions like it was still his job.
"You can't just gate crash a team dinner Fury. I am tired of people overriding my security." Tony sounds as annoyed as we're all feeling.
"I had a feeling no one would answer my phone calls." He's not wrong, I sure as hell wouldn't answer. "Barton, Romanoff, Angelov I need to have a word with you three." And my stomach drops even further. Bucky still hasn't moved from in front of me. I step around him and stare in disdain at the man that was no longer my boss.
"No way. I am not an agent anymore Nick." He lets out s deep sigh but seems I surprised.
"It wasn't a question. I need to speak to you three now." Bucky moves to take a step forward but Steve is at his side in an instant holding him back with a hand to his shoulder.
"We got a problem here soldier?" He says it in that condescending half hostile way that Nick Fury is known for. Before this can escalate into something awful I walk to the former directors side with Natasha and Clint. I smile tightly at Bucky trying to reassure him that I'll be ok but he looks angry and worried.
The three of us follow Nick out onto the balcony taking a seat at one of the bistro style tables we sometimes had meals at when it's nice out. Fury pulls out a phone and projects the image of a cruel looking middle aged man."Look familiar?" The three of us nod.
"Radko Kozlek. Bulgarian billionaire, arms dealer, and drug kingpin posing as a legitimate businessman. He's based out of Sofia. Six years ago you had Aneliya and I find our way into his ranks. Barton had to come in and extract us because we found out he was getting involved in human trafficking and had taken too much of a liking to us." Kozlek was an intense man and one of the few people to ever make my skin crawl. He was sadistic even with his own men.
"Turns out Mr. Kozlek is now dealing Hydra weapons as well as manufacturing them, his people are kidnapping and experimenting on enhanced individuals. It's one of the last Hydra cells
I've come across." Of course the sick bastard was involved with Hydra.
"What do you want from us Nick?" I'm cutting straight to the chase because I know for a fact I don't like where this is headed.
"I want to send you back to Sofia. I want you to rejoin his ranks and I need Barton and Romanoff there in case things get dicey again. They're the Avengers now, they can't take point on this, even under her old disguise there's too high of a chance they'd recognize Romanoff."
I laugh in complete disbelief.
"Are you fucking kidding me? It took four months to safely get us out of there, to make up enough excuses and cover our tracks enough to get out without bringing suspicion upon ourselves. You were concerned for our safety back then before he was involved with Hydra and now you expect me, an ex agent to just jump headfirst into this? I don't fucking think so Nick. I don't do that anymore, I don't work for you anymore." There's no way in hell he really thought I'd be on board with this. I stand with every intention of storming away when Nicks voice stops me.
"What if I told you one of the men working with Kozlek was named Dima Karpov?" The last name stops me in my tracks. I slowly turn back to glare at Nick.
"Karpov…like Vasily Karpov?" I say the name between gritted teeth. He's trying to manipulate me, I've seen it a million times.
"His brother. He was HIS handler too." My urge to vomit is almost as strong as my urge to punch Nick Fury in the face.
"Whose handler?" Clint must not have read all the leaked files. He had more of a life outside of this craziness than anyone else did though.
"The Winter Soldiers." Natasha sounds as indifferent as usual but there's a hard edge to the look she's shooting Nicks way.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa man. You gotta stop with that manipulative bullshit Fury. You really going to try to use her relationship with Barnes to get your way? How do you even know about that anyway?" Clint's just trying to look out for me and I love him for it. Nick Fury always knows what's going on with everyone. He has eyes everywhere, even now when he had no right to.
"What do you think James Barnes would do if I told him about Karpov?" That's his play. If I don't do what he wants he'll tell Bucky that Dima Karpov is alive and where he is. He'll throw Bucky out into the field. He'll destroy his progress, he'll risk triggering everything Shuri deprogrammed. He'll put him in danger.
"I used to respect you Nick, I used to look up to. Even after all the bullshit with Shield and Hydra I still didn't blame you. I figured hey even Nick Fury can make mistakes and misjudge people, guess he's really human after all. But what you're asking of me…what you're threatening shows me just the kind of man you really are. You're pissed that you got outsmarted, you're embarrassed by how blind you were so you think now dealing with the fallout of all of that by any means necessary is going to redeem you? It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. I am not an agent anymore and Bucky sure as hell isnt. The only thing you would accomplish by telling him about Karpov is potentially destroying the life he's finally beginning to build for himself. You will not use my love for him to bend me to your will. I would kill you before I allow you even the possibility of hurting him. You say one more word about this and I will go inside and bring Steve Rogers out here and tell him exactly what it is you've said to me and about his best friend." I'm shaking I'm so upset and infuriated. How dare he?
The man only smirks back at me, it's a little unnerving. "I can respect that, you've always spoken your mind. Don't think this won't come back to bite you in the ass later though. You think when the world finds out that Barnes is back out in the world, and an avenger none the less, that all those former Hydra members won't be after him?" What the hell is his problem?
"Bucky isn't an avenger." He continues to smirk at me, Natasha who's usually very good at hiding her emotions is shifting nervously.
"You think the American government or any other government for that matter would allow a man like him to freely live here without there being conditions? They expect cooperation, they expect him to be put to work for the right side this time." I'm again resisting the urge to throw up. "You think he was going to just live in this compound forever playing house with you? He'll start getting the itch soon, Rogers will need his help and he'll jump on it in a second. Even before he was the winter soldier he was still a soldier." I think I hate him in this moment.
"That doesn't mean he needs to get thrown into something that he isn't ready for. He needs to take time to get used to the world again, he needs to feel normal, he needs to train. I want him to make the choice. I won't let you force his hand." Of course I didn't expect him to never fight again, I'm sure he will want to be by Steve's side eventually but I don't want him to be ruled by his emotions and go after Hydra just for revenge, he has to be ready for it
"And what will you do when he gets back out there? Will you sit here and wait for him to come home? Will someone like you be able to sit back and let him risk his life when you could be out there helping?" I've known this man for so long and never once has he spoken to me this way or treated me quite like this.
"I was a spy, I'm not an avenger. I can fight but I'm not even as good as Natasha. I'd be a liability. What I'm doing now is what Im passionate about and it helps more people than being a Shield agent ever did. Let me live my life Nick, when Bucky is ready he can choose for himself what he wants to do." I don't give him another chance to draw me into conversation. I get up and walk away leaving Clint and Natasha to keep speaking to him. What they do is their own business but I belong to myself now.
Bucky is still standing next to Steve but he visibly relaxes when he sees me come back in. The rest of the table is relatively quiet.
"So, What was all that about Annie?" Tony breaks the odd silence.
"Fury wanted me to take a mission, I turned him down. Not my job anymore." Tony raises a questioning brow but lets it drop.
"You ok?" Bucky pulls me close to him, wrapping his arms around me comfortingly. I lay my head against his chest and let the sound of his heartbeat calm me. Really his presence in general brings me peace.
"It is so weird seeing you act like this Barnes." The former assassin just stares at Sam blankly.
"I think they compliment each other very well." Wanda smiles brightly at us. She has always been so kind to me.
"Enough of all that. Dr. Feel Good and Capsicle can I talk to you guys for a sec?"
What the hell does Tony want? I've had enough of this crap for the night. Steve and I stay standing where we are.
"Oh cmon mom and dad, the Manchurian Candidate can fend for himself for a few minutes."
Bucky squeezes my hand in reassurance.
"I'm fine, I'll go sit by Wilson's annoying ass." He's really trying. I press a kiss to his cheek and proceed to follow Steve and Tony to the meeting room.
"It would be great if people could stop dragging me away for secret meetings." I cross my arms in front of me and stare down Tony who is seated across from Steve.
"Secrets is exactly what I want to talk about. What does Fury want? I could tell you didn't want to say anything in front of your boy toy." Uhg, seriously?
"And you wanted Steve here why exactly?" Not that I mind him being there, he actually makes me more comfortable.
"First of all because it makes it look like we are talking about something important if I needed both of you and not just because I wanted to grill you about Fury. Secondly because the only reason you wouldn't want Barnes to know what he said is because it pertains to him…and since Captain Righteousness is as obsessed with the Tin-man as you are I figured it may be a good idea to let him in on it." I was planning on telling Stevie but I don't want to hide anything from Bucky.
"He wants me to go undercover in Bulgaria. Natasha and I had a mission together years ago infiltrating the ranks of an arms dealer, he was a real piece of work. Clint had to come pull us out because things got a little frightening for us when the man started getting involved with trafficking. Turns out the guys is running a Hydra base and is working with one of Buckys former handlers, the brother of Vasily Karpov. They're conducting experiments, like what happened with Wanda and her brother." Steve stiffens beside me.
"Jesus, well we cant let something like that go. We'll have to stop them. We've been taking out all the leftover Hydra cells." Tony is right of course.
"I don't disagree. I just don't want Bucky involved and I'm not an agent anymore." Steve nods his head.
"I don't want him involved either, he's not ready for this. But I don't want to lie to him." Yea me either Steve.
"So we give him the bare minimum. Might be a Hydra base that needs taken out, we don't bring up Karpov. Why the hell would Fury need to send you in anyway? Why wouldn't he just come to the Avengers? All we've been doing lately is taking out the remnants of Hydra." Tony's idea is probably for the best but I still hate that I'll be hiding something. And before I can answer his question Steve beats me to it.
"He needs some kind of information. He's still compartmentalizing. He knows if we go in their guns blazing that they'll destroy whatever it is he needs before he can retrieve it. Liya was one of his agents, like Natasha. She was a spy and damn good at getting whatever information she needed." That's exactly why I'm assuming he wanted to send me in undercover.
"That's not going to fly anymore. Shield is pretty much nonexistent now, he doesn't get to be the boss of any of us. I'll help in anyway I can but I am not going out into the field anymore. If Bucky decides he wants that later on down the road I won't stop him but he needs to be completely ready for that." My goal is still to help Bucky as much as I can.
"You know I'm still not one hundred percent on board with Barnes but I want you to be happy Annie. I sure as hell don't want him to go off the rails again." None of us do. The winter soldier is gone, the trigger words are useless but that doesn't mean all the pain and darkness from
Buckys past are gone.
"We'll take care of this Liya. You take care of Bucky." Why do I have such a bad feeling about this? Am I just worrying too much?
The three of us rejoin our friends. Tony tells them he needed our input on something that only we would understand. Surprisingly no one usually questions Starks eccentricities and vague explanations.. Natasha and Clint are back at the table, Nick is nowhere in sight. Bucky is talking to Clint about something, he's even smiling a bit.
When I sit back down Bucky takes my hand in his without turning away from his conversation with Clint. I'm so proud of him in this moment. He really has a shot at some normalcy. Please don't let all of that crumble because of the past not staying where it belongs.