My So Called Life That is Currently Living
Chapter 1: So it begins
I have never considered being an artist in any way, many people have called me a musician, not a scientist, and scientists have never called me an artist, which makes it very clear that I am in fact, not an artist. I have been in some questionable situations, such as the time I went to Wal-Mart, not very fun, (and I am not sponsored) I wore pajamas, so that's new. Or that time I went target (not sponsored, applies to everything), which needs no real explanation as to why it was questionable.
So my life is what it is, as a glittery vampire, who sucks the blood of lizards for the sake of survival, which is something I don't normally do.
"Edward me bob." Said Alice as James entered the room.
"Arg arg arg arg arg." Said Edward in response.
This was fairly normal, it wasn't uncommon for us to make incredible jokes that would require a diverse and incredible knowledge of mainstream culture, which would explain why our speech seemed so bizarre.
"Did you catch?" Asked Gary, who sounded rather concerned.
"No, I only fished." Said Jarom.
"What's wit yoooooooooooooou." Said Bella as she snuck into the room, a failed attempt, for she was wearing a neon pink banana suit, perfect camouflage for the average person, but we were vampires, able to spot pineapples from a mile away. We then all gathered around the TV and began to listen to our favorite show.
"A man has fallen into the man in man man." said the man on the radio, perfectly mimicking the narrator of that one commercial.
"Such majesty." Said Edward as he floated in the corner.
"10/10 IGN." Bella said in disagreement.
"Aw man, here we go again." said James in a happy and gleeful voice as he carried a sasquatch into the closet, only to shut the gate as he left the basement.
"Let's go party." Said Darryl as he danced outside the window, the clouds flashing beautiful colors, changing pictures in perfect beat with Darryls march.
"Baby." said Arnold, wearing his thick sunglasses and leather coat.
"Is that bobsledding time!" Shouted Alice in a very bored voice. It was shortly after this that Jarom came running into the room, he looked panicked, frightened, horrified, mystified, alarmed, anxious, nervous, dismayed, flustered, hysterical, like a pineapple pizza being placed, put in, deposited, planted, rested, propped, stowed, arranged, left, set out, sticked, arrayed, popped, plunked, dumped, bunged, stationed, situated, parked in an easy, simple, uncomplicated, undemanding, unchallenging, effortless, no sweat, piece of cake, elementary, facile, easy as pie bake, roast, spit-roast, pot-roast oven, stove, microwave, roaster, kiln, caboose, appliance.
"Let's go then." Said Edward in his lovely cinematic voice of his. It was only a matter of time before the cake came out of the episode, and we were waiting with swords in hand.
"OH YEAH!" Said Jeremy as he came out of the closet.
It didn't take us long to find the tracks the deer left behind, wolves were such messy creatures, it is a wonder how rabbits have managed to plague us for such a long time, with their fluffy tails and beady eyes and white fur.
"Ahhaww." cried a voice five timmes, leading into the beginning of a video game as Edward watched his favorite youtuber.
"I have a bad." said Lautner, who was Taylor in disguise as a bartender.
"Feeling." Said Bella in perfect harmony with Bacl street boys "I want it thaaaaat way, Tell me why! Ain't nothing but a heartache/ Oooooh Tell me why!/ it Ain't nothing but a misteaaaaak/ Now number five/ And I never want to hear you saaaaay/ I want it thaaaaat way." (Remember, not sponsored).
"What's gonna work." Jacob said passionately.
The trip home was long and difficult, especially since we were carrying our party hardy friend back home after we rescued.
"Mission failed, we'll get him next time." We cheered in unison, happy to have finally gotten rid of that horrible beast that had paid us for so long. We slept into the next century, readying for our next adventure.