There is a third dimensional traveler …

The students were all sitting at the opening feast.

It was the beginning of Harry's third year and Harry had just joined the feast after being checked out by Madam Pomfrey. Dumbledore had warned the students about the dementors and the feast begun.

Harry, suddenly ravenous, helped himself to everything he could reach and began to eat.

Suddenly, just as the majority of the students were polishing off their meal before their desert a pulsing ball of lightning appeared at the front of the Great Hall.

Alarmed, the staff ordered the students back.

The ball of lightning reshaped itself into the form of a man and suddenly, in front of the students, a figure emerged from the lightning.

Those who were well read or were older were shocked when the spitting image of James Potter appeared in front of the hall. Careful observation, however, would disprove this for a number of reasons. First, the man was dressed as a muggle – which James Potter had not been known for. He was wearing black denims, torn in various places with black bandanas tied around one thigh. He was also wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt. Those who read it were shocked by the words, "Though I ride through the Valley of Death I shall fear no Evil – because I'm the Toughest Son of a Bitch in the Valley." The man had the normal Potter hair, though it was spiked. He also had rippling arm muscles and built shoulders. He had a holster on his arm for his wand and another for a long dagger. The final clue was his eyes: A brilliant killing-curse green.

The figure looked around and said, "Hogwart I see." He turned and looked at the Gryffindor table and saw Harry. He called out, "Mini-me! What year are you starting?"

Harry, hesitant, called back, "Third year."

The man, now recognized as a mature Harry Potter, nodded and turned back to the staff table. "Sorry for butting in on your feast. I'm a dimensional traveler. Due to a major cock-up on a spell, I move from world to world, helping to fix the problems of my various alternate selves or others who need my particular skill set. Is there any way I can get put up or should I find my own way?"

Dumbledore was not about the allow such a valuable source of information out of his clutches. As a result, he was almost enthusiastic when he said, "I am certain we can make arrangements here in the castle. We can meet right after the feast in my office."

Harry nodded. "That works. I'd like to take a bite to eat as well, if possible."

Dumbledore invited him to the staff table but he declined and sat at the Gryffindor table.

Without talking to anyone, he started heaping his plate with meats and other hearty foods and tore into it. The rest of the hall watched in fascination, starting to talk again as they discussed the recent arrival.

Suddenly, he heard a particular two voices in the background. He looked over and saw Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger having a disagreement. Sighing, he got up and went over to the two, who suddenly stopped. "Are you two arguing over the cat and rat?"

The two hesitantly nodded.

The older Harry pulled out a pouch and put ten golden coins on the table. "Give me the rat and you can have the Galleons." Ron, very suddenly, was no longer angry and quickly pulled the rat out of his pocket and put it on the table. He pulled the Galleons to himself and stuffed them in his pockets.

The older Harry shocked the Hall when he used wandless magic to stun the rat.

"Professor McGonagall?"

The aforementioned woman came down from the staff table and said, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I guess you can call me Hadrian so as not to confuse us." Hadrian put the rat on the floor. "Can you perform an animagus reversal?"

Professor McGonagall was both intriqued and worried. She did as asked and suddenly the room was aghast when the rat on the floor turned into an ugly rat-shaped man. She gasped. "Peter Pettigrew!"

Hadrian nodded. He then reached down and tore the man's sleeve off to expose the Dark Mark.

"Meet Peter Pettigrew – the real Potter Secret Keeper and the reason Voldyshorts could get to the Potters. Sirius Black is innocent. You better call the DMLE. Amelia Bones is best."

Very quickly, Albus Dumbledore – trailed by his lackey – made his way over. "This should really be taken to a more private venue."

Hadrian said, "Excuse me," the Professor McGonagall and then turned to the Headmaster who was now a couple feet away. Hadrian reached out his hand to take the Headmasters. The Headmaster, wanting to be polite, took his hand.

Suddenly, Hadrian pulled the Headmaster forward and viciously kneed him in the groin – which caused the Headmaster to drop on the floor. In almost the same motion, Hadrian had pulled his wand and placed it between Snape's eyes. "Go ahead. Make. My. Fucking. Day."

Wisely, Severus Snape retreated.

Professor McGonagall, however, didn't. "MR. POTTER! Was that really necessary?"

Hadrian nodded. "Magical Oath. Every time I meet a Dumbledore who fucked up the life of a Harry Potter, I have to knee him in the balls. Otherwise I lose my magic. You probably should get to calling the DMLE now." He turned to the Potions Master. "And you should retrieve Veritaserum for the Aurors. And if it's poisoned or otherwise tampered with, I will gut you like a fish and use your intestines for decorating the Slytherin Common Room. You get me, Master Snape?"

Snape wisely withdrew to retrieve the potion.

The students were quickly dismissed, save Harry Potter and his two friends, who demanded to stay with him. Before Professor McGonagall could protest, Hadrian agreed and demanded that all the Weasleys stay as the rat had lived with them.

As Madam Pomfrey was treating the Headmaster, a group from the Ministry appeared. Hadrian muttered a soft, "Fucking moron and minion," as the Minister entered followed by Delores Umbridge. There were also two Aurors and a Dementor – but no Amelia Bones.

Hadrian turned to Professor Lupin and said, "Patronus if the Dementor gets close. No coverups." Remus nodded.

Hadrian then walked past the Minister and lackey and aurors, right up to the Dementor.

Suddenly, Hadrian Potter moved in a blur and started pulverizing the Dementor, who started screeching. If anyone had been looking, they would have seen the Dementors outside of Hogwarts visibly flinch in response to the sound.

Within a very short order, the Dementor was a pile of bones and robes. Hadrian turned and asked the Aurors. "We gonna have a problem?"

Both raised their hands and shook their heads.

Umbridge, however, was not so quiet. "What are you doing? Arrest that man for interfering with Ministry business!"

Hadrian looked at the woman and said, "Look, toad lady. There is no law against destroying a Dementor. And I'll be fucked before I let the truth be covered up. Now where the fuck is Madam Amelia Bones?"

The Minister, terrified of this man, stuttered out that he had decided to take charge of the capture of the Potter's traitor.

"This is DMLE business. The DMLE Director should be here." He turned to the Auror. "Call her or I'll get upset."

The Aurors quickly used a DMLE device to call in the Director and within a few minutes Amelia Bones entered the Great Hall.

"What the hell is going on? Why did I get an Emergency summons?"

Hadrian pointed to Peter Pettigrew who was trussed up on the floor. "One Potter Secret Keeper. He needs to be asked some questions under Veritaserum."

"Hmm. Hmm. No Pureblood can be required to submit to Veritaserum!" Umbridge tried to take control again.

"Two things. First he's a fucking half blood. Second: He's been declared dead. He has no fucking rights."

Amelia Bones nodded thoughtfully. "Actually, that's true. I will need to get some serum here."

Hadrian turned to the Potions Master. "He has some he retrieved. He's a licensed brewer."

Snape silently showed Madam Bones the bottle. She went and grabbed it from him. "You attest this is Veritaserum, brewed according to Ministry guidelines and statutes?"

Snape nodded. "I hereby attest as a licensed Potions Master that this Veritaserum is properly brewed and delivered to the DMLE according to the Law."

"Very good."

Very soon, it was determined that Sirius Black was completely innocent and that it would be announced in the Prophet the next day. Dumbledore, once Madam Pomfrey had treated him, tried to prevent this but one look from Hadrian quelled his objections.

Amelia and the Aurors also interviewed the Weasleys and declared them not responsible as they had been hoodwinked too.

Finally, the Ministry group left with a shackled Peter Pettigrew. As they were about to exit, Hadrian called out, "Madam Umbridge!"

The woman, with a sneer, turned and asked, "What?"

"You interfere with me or my alternate version again and I will send you to where you sent your Muggle mother, Ellen Cracknell, and your brother, William Cracknell." He then gave a subtle look to Amelia Bones who nodded slightly, though her face showed some surprise. She would investigate.

For her part, Dolores Umbridge was equally shocked and terrified. No one knew she had had her mother and brother killed to prevent people from learning that she was a halfblood.

Amelia Bones, however, would find out quite easily when she started looking.

The rest of the Ministry workers were shocked to learn that the unpleasant woman was a half-blood. Rumours would quickly be spread over the next few days.

Hadrian turned to the Weasleys, who were being shepherded out by Percy along with Harry and Hermione. "Ron!"

Ron turned, looking quite overwhelmed. "Buy yourself an owl with those Galleons and you better buy Hermione's cat some treats for noticing the traitor when none of you did."

Ron nodded and turned to follow his brother and the rest of the Gryffindors.

Hadrian turned and said, "Now. About that room."

Harry's alternate spent a good portion of time over the next few days teaching him how to handle different situations.

When Harry protested that he just wanted to be normal, Hadrian scoffed. "Normal is for pussies. Either Gryffindor up and stop being such a pussy or learn to bend over and take it in the ass for the rest of your life."

Draco Malfoy had finally recovered his aplomb and tried to insult Harry out of the hearing of the staff. Harry looked at his friends and then walked over to Draco and kneed him in the balls. "If you fuck with me, I'll fuck with you. And I'll fuck with your father too if he makes trouble. Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone."

When Pansy Parkinson tried to protest, Harry just said, "Suck my dick or shut your fucking mouth."

She had no comeback.

Within two short weeks, Sirius Black had been cleared and got custody of Harry, several pieces of Dark Magic had been retrieved and cleansed, and Harry Potter was learning to live his life the right way.

Hadrian, when he was about to leave, turned to Harry and asked, "What's our playground?"

"Whatever we say it is."

"And what are we?"

"The biggest Bad-Ass-Mother-Fuckers on the playground!" Harry replied with confidence.

Hadrian nodded. "And if they don't like it?"

"They can Suck. My. Dick!"

Hadrian nodded and said, "Good for you. This is me making sure that every Harry I meet becomes the biggest BAMF in their world. I hate being called the 'Lone BAMF'!"

The two laughed together and Hadrian disappeared in a pulsing blue light, the sound of a Phoenix trilling a particular song wafting around.

Muggleborns, and every Harry Potter who witnessed the Lone BAMF leaving, upon hearing the song always started singing along: "We will, we will, Rock you!"