What the hell am I doing here? I don't even remember how I got here. One minute, I'm sitting next to Morey, listening to him play the piano at his cat's funeral. Next thing I know, I'm headed Northwest on the 202, going 80 MPH in a 60. I can't buy it in Stars Hollow. Do we even have one of these stores in Stars Hollow? Regardless, someone would see me. I'd be the talk of the town within an hour. The feline formerly known as Cinnamon would be quickly forgotten and the front page of the Stars Hollow Gazette would have "LUKE DANES SPOTTED PURCHASING A VIBRATOR" in bold print.

So, I came to Litchfield. The drive isn't far, but it's far enough to be safely out of sight. I've been sitting in my vehicle for the past 15 minutes, trying to gather the balls to go in. I finally open the door and step out of the truck, the metal-on-metal creaking as I close it. I take a deep breath and I walk in.

A bell on the door alerts the entire shop of my entrance. Wonderful. I look up. Holy shit. Who uses all this stuff? Before me lies shelves upon shelves of pure sex.

"Welcome to Between the Sheets! How are you this evening?" a bubbly young brunette greeted him upon his entrance.

"Fine, thanks," he mumbled, his head hung low.

"Is there anything specific I can help you find tonight?" she asked.

This is beyond embarrassing.

"I'm actually looking for a gift for my girlfriend," he answered.

She's not my girlfriend but that's a long, detailed story that I am not in the mood to tell.

"Of course!" she replied. "The right side of the store is our women's section," she gestured for him to follow her and guided him across the wall, pointing out each section of products.

"Over here," she pointed, "we have lubricants, warming jellies, and clitoral stimulation sprays. Next, we have this selection of erotic novels if your girl is a reader. Down this way, we have our S & M section if you two are into that sort of thing. Moving down, we have our series of non-vibrating dildos. Next to those are the vibrating dildos. To the left are a series of vibrators, ranging in shape, color, size, and intensity. Lastly," she pointed to the back of the store, "is our lingerie section."

"Woah," he muttered.

"First time in?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

"Don't be nervous! I have a lot of boyfriends come in, not sure what to buy. It can be overwhelming and I know it's uncomfortable for many. Just remember that we're here to help you. We see this every day. It may seem awkward but I think it's sweet that you're doing something nice for your girl. And, hey," she nudged him with her elbow, "the sex that happens later will make everything worth it, am I right?"

He laughed, suddenly feeling a bit more at ease. "Yeah," he faked. "It sure will."

Too bad I don't have a chance in hell of having sex with her.

"Did you have anything specific in mind?" she inquired.

"I think a nice vibrator would be perfect for her," he replied.

She reached for a black, matte box with shiny black writing embossed on it that read 'Pleasure Luxe.'

"This one is my favorite," she told him. "I think every girl who works in here owns one."

"Yep," he heard a series of girls say from around the store.

The girl laughed. "It's pretty powerful and it charges in the wall so she won't have to hassle with batteries. It has several settings that range in intensity and vibration patterns, so she can experiment with those. The best part about it is that it has two parts that hit the clitoris and her g-spot at the same time, giving her maximum pleasure. It's also easy to clean and we're actually holding a special on this one where we'll throw in a free bottle of toy cleaner."

She handed him the box and he examined it, noting the vibrator encased beneath the transparent plastic in the center of the package. It was a matte black, just like the box, and the shape was unquestionably meant to please a woman.

"I'll take this one," he said, doing his best to disregard the $125.99 price sticker on the back of the box.

She's worth every penny.

The sales associate led him to the counter and helped him check out.

"You mentioned that this is a gift, right?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Would you like us to wrap it for you? It's no charge if the purchase is over $100."

"Sure," he replied. "Thanks."

She placed the vibrator and cleaner in a white cardboard box, filling the excess space with white tissue paper. She taped up the box and cut a sheet of white wrapping paper that had silver circles all over it. She wrapped the box with the wrapping paper and placed it in a bag, handing it to him.

"Anything else I can do for you today, sir?" she asked.

"No," he replied. "Thank you for your help."

"Of course! Have a great evening!"

"You as well," he said as he walked out the door.

The ride home was long, filled with anxiety and anticipation.

Why am I even doing this? We're not even together.

He had to continually remind himself that he had feelings for her. In the past few weeks, he'd been realizing that more and more. When he saw her skip over to her porch and converse with a man who drove up in a blue convertible, he was overcome with an uneasy feeling. He stood inside the door, overhearing her conversation with her daughter about the man being there to pick her up for a date. He quickly decided that it was now or never. His time to tell her was running out and he'd miss his chance if he didn't act soon.

He pulled into her driveway, hearing the gravel crunch beneath the weight of his tires. After parking behind her recently-washed jeep, he exited his truck and made his way to her front door.

He raised his hand to knock but his arm stopped in midair as he was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of "what the hell am I doing?"

He nervously began walking back to his truck and, as he reached for the handle, he heard her front door open.

"Hey," she said.

"Oh. Hey," he replied, turning around.

Shit.

"Whatcha doing here?"

"I came over to see if you had any duct tape I could borrow but the lights were off so I figured you two were asleep," he improvised.

"Well Rory is. She has a test first thing in the morning tomorrow. But, Luke, it's 9:30 on a Thursday. Do you know me at all?"

He chuckled. "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I have a roll of tape in the girly tool box we've never used. It's pink. It has flowers on it. I bought it. It's nice to look at," she proudly stated.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Come on in," she said. "It's chilly."

He stepped inside the house, closing the door behind him. She made her way into the kitchen and he followed. She bent down to open the cupboards beneath the sink and his stomach fluttered at the sight of her butt in those tight jeans she always wore. She rose up with a rectangular metal box in her hand. Setting it on the counter, she opened it and grabbed a metallic grey roll of duct tape from the bottom. As she handed it to him, she noticed the gift bag that he was holding in his left hand.

"What's that?" she asked, nodding her head toward the bag.

He looked down to realize what she was looking at.

Damnit, Danes, you're an idiot.

"Oh. It's nothing. Sorry, I don't know why I grabbed it."

"It looks like a present," she observed.

"Yeah," he said. "Kind of an 'I'm sorry for your loss' gift for Babette and Morey."

"Oh," she said. "That's sweet of you."

"Yeah…"

"Luke? You okay?"

I might as well give it to her, I'm already caught.

"It's not for Babette and Morey. It's for you. I don't need duct tape, I came here to give you this. But I chickened out. And I'm still scared shitless of how you're going to react to it. But I felt bad that you missed your date tonight and I figured maybe this would help make up for that."

"Ha! I knew it was for me. God, you are so predictable. Also, I can see right through you."

"That you can," he agreed.

"So…are you gonna hand it over or what?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah…here," he said as he gave her the bag.

He stepped back, anxious and fearful.

Well…this friendship is certainly over.

She eagerly snatched the box out of the bag, ripped off the wrapping paper, and opened the box beneath it. When she noticed the tissue paper covering the contents of the box, she paused.

"It this one of those jokes where you wrap something a thousand times and the final gift is a pack of post-its? Because I am in desperate need of post-its. The inn ran out last Tuesday."

"You have no idea how much I wish I was giving you post-its right now," he replied, a shakiness in his voice.

She returned her attention to the box and removed the tissue paper to find the black package beneath it. She took it out and examined it. Her eyes widened when she realized what it was.

"Luke!"

He said nothing.

"Wha—what—why did you um…this," she pointed to the box, "this thing is a…um…a—a—a vibrator…?"

He remained silent.

"Why on earth would you get me this?"

He lifted his head and let his eyes do the talking. He, however, still said nothing.

"So, I miss a date," she continued, "and you felt bad. And you thought this would make it better?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

She, too was then silent, her eyes fixated on the box in her hands.

A few moments later, he cleared his throat. "Can we go into the living room? Rory is right through that door," he pointed, "and I don't want her to hear all of this."

I swear this guy cares about my kid more than I do sometimes.

She made her way into the living room and he followed. She sat down on the couch, patting the space beside her. He caught the cue and took a seat next to her, still leaving plenty of space between them.

"I saw you talk to him," Luke began. "I saw the way you looked at him. I saw your sparkly eyes and the hair flip and the smile you always give when you're into someone. I heard you the other day when I was in the back room. I heard you tell Sookie how he's 'so smart and sexy and funny.' And how 'it would be nice to get…' She didn't catch your drift. But I did. And I realized while watching you fall for this guy that I've been falling in love with you for five years. And I see you swooning over this man and I wonder what it is about me that makes me not good enough."

"Luke," she breathed.

"Let me finish," he pleaded.

She nodded in compliance.

"I want you to know that, under this flannel, is a really muscular body. And a pair of strong arms that would do anything to hold you the way you wanted him to hold you tonight. I know I seem plain and boring. You probably think it'll all be vanilla with me. But I can do passion, Lorelai. I can do sexy. I can do funny. The smart aspect, well, I didn't go to college or anything but I'm not an idiot."

He scooted closer to her, moving his lips to her ear. "I can take you to places you never even knew existed. And I can do it in a matter of seconds," he breathed.

His hot breath sent goosebumps forming on every inch of her body. An intense wetness developed between her legs and she felt her panties completely soaked. Her nipples peaked hard, appearing visibly through her shirt. She released a shaky breath and returned her eyes to the box in her hands.

After a few moments, she looked up at him.

"Wanna come upstairs and watch me test this thing out?" she asked, her eyes black with desire.

He didn't say a word. He simply nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out for her to grab, then pulling her off the couch. She guided him up the stairs and into her bedroom, thankful that her room was on the opposite side of the house from Rory's. She pulled a chair from the corner by the window and set it at the foot of her bed.

"Sit," she told him.

He did as she instructed and his eyes followed her as she walked to the side of her bed, removing her shirt. Then her bra. Then her belt. Then her socks. She unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped them, pausing and giving him a devilish grin. She remained motionless, teasing him as he stared at her.

After a few torturous moments, she hooked her thumbs into her jeans and slowly slid them down her long, toned legs. She stepped out of them and again returned her gaze to him. He simply sat there, taking in the view of her perfect body. His mouth was dry from having been agape for so long. His eyes were wide and his body was rigid with anticipation.

She finally proceeded to slip out of the lacey maroon panties and used both of her index fingers to fling them at him like an elastic band. He caught them with both hands, groaning at the wetness that had soaked them. She giggled at his boyish expression and then picked up the black box, opening it and pulling the toy out. She laid down on her bed, placing the pillows against the headboard so that she was in a sitting-up position. She opened her legs wide, bending them upward and looked between them to find Luke's eyes fixated on her sex. She smiled at him, but he didn't notice. He was captivated by the set of puffy lips that glistened between her thighs.

She moved her right hand down and rubbed herself slowly for a minute or so. He felt himself getting harder by the millisecond. She turned the toy onto its most mild setting, wanting to make this last as long as possible. She placed the thicker end at her dripping entrance, tantalizing herself. She then pressed the shorter end to her most sensitive spot, rolling her head back and licking her lips as the vibrations began to stimulate her. Finally, she glided the toy into her core, allowing it to stretch and fill her. After her body adjusted to the sizeS, she began to slide it in and out of her, slowly and leisurely.

After ten minutes of slow, painful and torturous stimulation, she amped up the power. She groaned in pleasure as her hand took control, moving faster than he knew a hand was capable of. He'd never seen her during sex, so he was proud that he knew her well enough to notice the look on her face that signified she was getting close. Her groans grew louder, her lips were parted, her mouth was dry, and her eyes were closed.

He stood up and made his way to the other side of the bed, laying down beside her. She hardly noticed him, as she was in a complete state of bliss. He moved his hand to hers, taking the toy away from her, away from her sex. He replaced it with his hand, thrusting three fingers deep into her and drawing fast, repeated circles around her clit. Her groans filled the room, completely forgetting that Rory was asleep downstairs. He couldn't have cared less. He'd never heard anything sexier than the sound of Lorelai Gilmore riding on the edge of orgasm.

"Oh…unghh…oh god…yes, Luke, yes. Mmm right there."

"You like that, huh?" he whispered.

"Mmmm. Mmhmm. Yes. Harder, Luke. Please."

He increased his pressure. And, in no time, he felt her tightening around his fingers. Her body began to shake and he knew she was ready.

"Please, Luke. Oh my. Oh god. Yes."

He moved his lips to her ear for the second time that night and, through hot, steamy breath, whispered "Come for me, Lorelai."

It took nothing more than those four words for her to tumble over the edge of bliss and he swore the sight of her nearly made him come in his jeans himself.

He continued to rub her as she came down from her high and, when she finally caught her breath, she turned to face him. She closed the distance between their faces, giving him a long, drawn-out kiss. They smiled against each other's lips and, when they pulled apart, she looked up at him.

"Wow. You really can do passion."