SACRIFICE

By: tweety-src-clt9

"Mum?" Fourteen-year-old Lily Luna Potter turned to her mother.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Aunt Hermione is daddy's best friend, right?"

"Yes, that's right," Ginny nodded.

"But… why – I mean they hardly ever talk? Also, they don't touch each other. They avoid it as much as possible, Dad more so than Auntie... It's weird. Did they fight or something? Dad and Uncle Ron are okay. But Aunt Hermione and Daddy, I don't know," Lily Luna shrugged.

Ginny sighed. She knew that out of all her children, her only daughter would be the one to ask this question. Lily Luna may look like the young Ginny Weasley, but her astuteness, well it resembled Hermione Granger's.

"Well… you know how Aunt Hermione is the Minister for Magic, right?" Ginny started to explain and her daughter nodded. "Well, they want to act professionally, set a good example at the ministry... Hmmm... How can I explain this better? Ah! Yes! Let me put it this way... Your dad is the Head Auror and Aunt Hermione is his boss. So, they have to be formal and everything," Ginny continued her explanation.

"I – I don't understand. Scorpius and Rose are in love but they work together too. They're not awkward," Lily Luna's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well your aunt and daddy are in a different situation," Ginny couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Different how?"

"You should go to sleep, sweetie. It's late," Ginny kissed her daughter's forehead and lovingly tucked her in.

"Mum?

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Why is my name Lily Luna? I mean Auntie Luna's cool and all – but shouldn't I be Lily Hermione instead? I mean, you did say that Aunt Hermione is daddy's best friend," this was said with genuine confusion, innocence, and curiosity.

"Your daddy wanted your name to be simple, sweetie," Ginny fibbed. It's more like your daddy never wants another Hermione to exist because the original is just so irreplaceable, she thought sadly.

"Oh… Well, Aunt Hermione's name is rather difficult to say I suppose," Lily Luna chuckled.

"Good night, Lily."

"Good night, mum."

oOOOOo

Harry Potter sat behind the lord's desk in the secret study by the library of 12 Grimmauld Place. He sighed. He had everything that he could ever want in life. He had a family – a loving wife and three crazy kids. He had a stable job to provide for all their needs and wants. Plus, he had a lot of friends.

Everything he wished for when he was a scrawny little boy in the cupboard under the stairs came true. He should be contented and happy. Instead, he was exhausted and uneasy.

In the darkness of the night, with the moon shining up above and the house was fast asleep, he was given the chance to be honest with himself.

He pulled the handle of a hidden drawer on his desk. This desk was so heavily enchanted that no one else could see the drawers but himself. This study was his sanctuary. In this place, he could be himself even if it's just in the wee hours of the night.

There it was. His most prized possessions – a picture of a young lady dressed in a beautiful periwinkle blue gown and a stack of letters written in her familiar elegant script. All of his memorabilia of Hermione Granger were stored in a special drawer that he'd spend hours perusing whenever the pull to be with his best friend would enamor him once again.

He had lived a lie for almost thirty years. He had to deny a vital part of himself just so he could keep the one woman who had saved his life so many times alive. He needed to take all the pain just so she could live. He needed to hide his pain.

In the darkness of the night, these stolen moments, he just wanted to lose himself and let go of the burden of lies. The one lie that kept him away from attaining true happiness.

"I fucking hate Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange," he said with gritted teeth as his thoughts drifted to the past.

oOOOOo

'I see your heart and your mind Harry Potter. You are weak. Your love for her makes you weak. You cannot even protect her and yet your heart longs for her… Some hero you are…. I will kill her, Potter. I will kill your ace. I will torture your savior. I will end her life in the most painful way before I will kill you. You will be a broken man before you die at the end of my wand,' Voldemort's sinister voice would whisper in his head over and over again. He was not sure if all of this was caused by the locket Horcrux. Or maybe, it was because of Voldemort's weird connection to him. Whatever it was, Voldemort was right.

He loved Hermione Granger with every fiber of his being but he couldn't do anything to protect her. In fact, without her help and support, he would never have gotten this far because he was not prepared. He also didn't know what he was doing and he was certain that without Hermione, he would have been dead years ago.

Ron made the right choice for leaving. Hermione should have followed his example. If she went with Ron, she would be safer than being in this hellhole they were currently trapped in.

Even from his position outside the tent, he could hear Hermione's sobs of pain. It was very hard for her to accept the fact that Ron had left them. It was just the two of them now. Harry and Hermione against the world. They had no plan. They lacked supplies. They had no hope. They only had each other.

'Whatever happens, I only wish that Hermione will survive this war. I only wish that she'll live a long and happy life.' Harry thought as he buried the sound of Hermione's crying by staring at the Marauders' Map over and over again. He wasn't even sure what he was looking at. It was just something that took his mind away from the important things. He needed to do idle things or he'd lose his mind.

oOOOOo

Hermione was shouting in pain. It was like a dagger being pierced straight to his heart. He could only imagine the horrors and tortures that she was facing right now. Ron wasn't helping the situation. His best mate's anguished screams were just distracting him as he tried (but failed) to think of a plan.

He needed to get Hermione away from this place. He needed to save her. He fumbled about in his pockets and then he remembered the dimensional store Hagrid gave him. He groped inside it until he found a mirror. It was his last resort but he had to try.

And then, by some sort of miracle, he saw Dumbledore's face. He was confused, surprised, and he could feel a swell of hope rising in his chest.

When Dobby appeared, he wanted to cry in relief. But no! He couldn't do that. They must save Hermione first. If Hermione died, his heart would die with her.

oOOOOo

"Hermione?" Harry gently knocked on Hermione's temporary bedroom at Shell Cottage. By some sort of miracle, Dobby came and saved them all at the expense of his life. While Harry's heart broke due to another death that he indirectly caused, he felt relieved that at least Hermione was still here. She was still alive.

"Come in," he heard her faint reply so he slowly stepped inside her room.

"Hi, Hermione. How are you feeling?" He nervously ran a hand through his hair. What if she hated him now? He was the one who called out 'Voldemort' after all.

"I feel like shit. Everything is so painful that I feel numb. Does that make sense?" She whispered. He noticed that her pale skin and lithe frame had a distinct uncontrollable shiver – an after effect of the Cruciatus Curse.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he knelt on the floor. He reluctantly held her hand and she squeezed it.

"It's not your fault…"

"If only I – "

"Harry? How does Voldemort track you? Bellatrix said something disturbing… She said that she'll forever curse me to be apart from the love of my life. She said that she will curse me so that I can never be with you… It doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm just like a sister to you, right? Also, you're in love with Ginny and – "

"Just rest, Hermione. Don't think about it. Just go to sleep. I'll keep watch right here," he interrupted.

"Okay… Thank you, Harry," Hermione closed her eyes and she easily lost herself in the land of dreams.

Harry watched her slightly shivering body and listened to the faint sound of her beating heart. It was comforting to see her alive but seeing her in pain was hurting him so much. He thought about what she said and he was scared at his wit's end.

Did Bellatrix Lestrange know about his feelings for Hermione? Did Voldemort tell her? What if they had plans to hurt her? What if – he took a deep calming breath as his brain started to think about horrible scenarios and he shivered in fear.

'No, Potter. You must hide your feelings until Voldemort dies. Or until he kills you,' he promised as he watched Hermione sleep.

oOOOOo

He finally did it! Voldemort's dead! He had won. He had survived. More importantly, Hermione was alive. But she's with Ron now. It broke his heart but at least she was still here. Besides, with the constant silly fights that Ron and Hermione get into, they were bound to break up one day. When that happened, he would be there for Hermione and maybe she'd finally notice him in the way that he always wanted.

He heard a screeching sound and he saw a crow hovering by a window in what used to be the Hogwarts library. He opened the window with a flick of his wand and the crow dropped a parchment on his lap.

He thought of conjuring some water but the bird immediately left him alone. So, letting curiosity get the better of him, he read the parchment.

'Harry Potter,

If you read this letter, you have won.

You have successfully killed me.

If you think that I would let you live a long happy life, then you are mistaken.

Lord Voldemort doesn't go quietly into the night.

I have found a way to make sure that you won't get the happiness you so desire.

I will always remind you every day of what you have lost.

My lovely Bella was able to get the blood and hair of your precious little mudblood.

So, we created a ritual for her. She is cursed to never be in love with you. Maybe she'll end up with your sidekick, I don't care.

But yes! Your precious little mudblood is cursed to fall in love with anyone except you.

If you tell her the truth, this is where things go dark.

As soon as she knows that she's cursed, she dies.

So… You can watch her be with someone else.

She will never love you.

The woman you want will never love you.

You will live a long and lonely life, Harry Potter.

Because if you tell your precious mudblood the truth, she dies.

Your life will always be incomplete.

I hope you live your life with a broken heart every single day.

You see, Harry Potter, you could have been great, but you are weak.

You let your heart rule your life and that's why you'll always be mediocre.

I broke you with Black's death.

By cursing Hermione Granger, I doom you into a lifetime of loneliness while you're secretly pining for the filthy little mudblood.

- Lord Voldemort '

Harry's hand shook as he finished reading the letter. He knew that it was authentic. He would never forget Tom Marvolo Riddle's handwriting. His connection with Voldemort would always remain in his subconscious. The letter oozed with the remnants of Voldemort's magical signature. The words were even written in blood.

He screamed in agony and frustration, not caring whether someone could hear him because he had wards in place.

He may have won the war but Voldemort still ruled his life.

Voldemort may be dead but he left another blow on Harry that would last for the remainder of his days.

It's either he would live with a broken heart, watching Hermione be with someone else... Or, if he told her about the curse, she would die.

It was an easy choice. He must hide his feelings for her.

It was the only way to protect her.

He must do the right thing because really, having Hermione die was out of the question.

oOOOOo

"Harry?" He could hear Ginny's voice outside.

He hurriedly hid Hermione's memorabilia. Ginny knew about his real feelings but she accepted it. She remained by his side. Even if he wasn't truly happy, he was at least content with the life they built together. For that, he would always be grateful.

"Come in. The door's open," he flicked his wand to cancel the wards on the door.

"Why are you still awake, Harry?" Ginny leaned on the doorframe.

"Can't sleep," he muttered.

"Lily Luna asked about your relationship with Hermione… She also asked why she's named after Luna," Ginny sighed.

"What did you say?" His voice gruff.

"I said you wanted to give her a simple name," Ginny shrugged.

"Thank you, Gin. For staying with me," he leaned his head on the armchair as he closed his eyes.

"You know I love you, Harry," her voice broke.

"I – I love you Gin – "

"But you will never love me the way you love her," with those parting words, Ginny left him there.

He flicked his wand and warded the study once again. He wanted to scream and throw things. Living a lie was such a hard thing to do every single day when he could see Hermione at the ministry, the Burrow, in his thoughts, and in his dreams.

oOOOOo

It was another day at work and Harry fell into the routine of reporting to the office of the minister. It was part of his job to constantly update Minister Granger-Weasley about the ins and outs of various security issues in the Wizarding World.

He turned the doorknob and he looked down when he saw Ron inside Hermione's office. Hermione heard the door opening so she turned to face him.

"Hi, Harry! You're early today," Hermione greeted him.

"Hey Ron, Hermione," he tried to smile.

"Well, you must be busy now, love. I'm gonna go. I'll see you at dinner?" Ron had an arm around Hermione's waist and Harry looked away.

"Yes. See you later, Ron. Love you," Hermione pecked her husband's lips. Harry might have looked away but he could still hear their conversation and he could easily imagine what's going on. His heart was breaking but this was better than causing the death of the love of his life.

"Bye mate!" Ron waved goodbye before closing the door.

"Good morning, Head Auror Potter. What can I do for you this fine morning?" Hermione said cheekily. Her warm chocolate brown eyes sparkled with love for her husband.

"You seem happy," he muttered.

"Ron got me flowers. We fought last week and he came to surprise me," Hermione sighed happily and he curtly nodded.

"Here are the auror reports," he carefully placed the parchments he brought on her desk.

"Harry – are you alright?" Hermione's tone was laced with worry.

"Er, yeah. Just stressed 'is all," he shrugged. If only Voldemort didn't fuck up my life, I would have treated you like a queen. I will never quarrel with you for the silly things. I will buy you flowers every day. I would never have been late to our wedding and show up drunk like Ron did to you. So no, I'm not alright. I'm okay. I've trained myself to be okay after living this lie for so long. But I'm never alright because it hurts so much and I can't tell you because if I tell you, you'll die. And I'd rather live with a broken heart than to live my life without you.

"Harry?" Hermione prodded and he snapped out of it. He knew that he slipped for a few seconds there. He was looking at her with pain, longing, regret, and repressed love.

"I'm sorry, Minister Granger-Weasley. I'm feeling sick, I have to go," he stood from his seat.

"Harry Potter! Stop right there!" Hermione exclaimed and he immediately halted.

"Did I – did I ever do something to you? Did I hurt you in some way? You don't talk to me anymore…"

"It's nothing, Hermione. Just feeling stressed and under the weather – "

"There's something you're not telling me… I can tell. You don't look me in the eye anymore. You don't interact with me much – hell! You even named Lily after Luna! What did I ever do to you?" She was teary-eyed but her voice betrayed her anger and frustration.

"It's not you, Hermione. I'm just really tired today," he shrugged.

"Fine… Be that way," she whispered.

"I'll go now… Send me a memo if you need anything," without facing her he walked out the door. I love you, Hermione… It has always been you and that's the problem. I can't even tell you… and if I want you to live a long happy life, I will never tell you. I will bear the burden of this secret to my grave.

oOOOOo

Seventy-year-old Lily Luna Creevey hid under the invisibility cloak as she watched her father, Harry Potter, drop a wreath of Christmas Roses on her Aunt Hermione's tombstone in the Forest of Dean.

Hermione Granger-Weasley died ten years ago and her father seemed to be the most affected person since her passing. Her father would disappear at a specific time and would return in an hour with a sad look in his eyes. Now she knew what her father did. He had been visiting her aunt's grave every single day.

She asked her mother about this but it was just shrugged off with the 'your Aunt Hermione is your dad's best friend' explanation. To her – that was utter bull!

She had best friends. Lorcan and Lysander Scamander were her dearest friends but she could never imagine being so affected at the thought of losing them. But to her, the thought of losing her husband, Alfred, was more daunting. So, she had always been dubious about her mother's classic explanation about the best friend clause.

She wanted to try asking her dad where he went but it was no use. Every time someone mentioned her Aunt Hermione's name, her father would immediately leave the room. Truth be told, Hermione Granger-Weasley was the She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in front of the centennial wizard, the once Boy Who Lived.

Finally, after observing her father's disappearing routine, she found the courage to follow him.

What she was witnessing here today – it broke her heart.

Her father, the strongest man she had ever known, was crying his heart out.

"Hello, Hermione… It's me, again. How are you up there? Is it as peaceful and as beautiful as the books say? Heaven, is it even real? I have the stone, searching for it when you died became a top priority but I can't bring myself to use it… I'm sorry, Hermione… I'm sorry. I let our friendship slowly fade away because it's so hard to lie… It's just – I just love you so much… Voldemort cursed you and I – I can't let you die, I'm sorry – " her father's voice was drowned out by his sobs now.

Lily Luna's jaw dropped. Her father was in love with Aunt Hermione and it now made so much sense. Her mother knew about the secret. It was obvious that she did.

She wanted to hate her father for destroying her perfect world – a world where her parents were in love and she was a fruit of that love. Despite the shock and the hurt that she felt, she couldn't hate her father. She understood how he must have been feeling right now. She too would sacrifice everything for the person she loved.

Whatever curse that he was referring to, she was certain that she would've done the same thing if she were in her father's shoes. She would rather live a life without Alfred's love than to watch him die.

Wiping a stray tear away, she left as quietly as possible.

She now understood why her name was Lily Luna and not Lily Hermione.

Her father sacrificed his heart and his happiness but he could never call another woman, Hermione.

Because to him, there could only be one Hermione.

Hermione Granger. Her aunt. Her idol. The best Minister for Magic in the history of Britain.

Hermione Granger-Weasley, Harry Potter's one true love.

His greatest secret.

His greatest sacrifice.

A/N:

So I'm tired of getting messages that I should write canon pairings instead. Or the common messages where I've been reusing the same tropes over and over again.

There you go, something new.

And sweetie, if you're tired of reading my work, go find something else (or write your own fic).

Love it or hate it, let me know.

I could see this happening in canon though. Enough said.