Mari & Ilna: What can I say? I'm enjoying this adventure every bit as much as I was on day one. Maybe more.
REAL Worlders-thanks for all the enthusiastic support. You guys are the best.
Byline (1/1)
Introducing Daniel Joseph Rollins McGarrett
I've had the pleasure of attending thirty-eight adoption hearings in my life, including my own. They've taken place in three states, in eleven different cities, and in front of twenty-nine separate judges. Even within the same city, the same courthouse for that matter, each hearing is a little different. There are certain legal specifics that need to be addressed but outside of those judges have some flexibility to add their own flair to the proceedings.
Some tend towards humor and levity while others treat the occasion with more solemnity. Some try to cut through the understandable nervousness in the room by telling jokes while others talk seriously to the new parents about the responsibility of helping guide the child to become a respectful and responsible adult. As is often the case in professions like theirs, some see it as nothing more than their job to preside over the legal details while others see it as their mission in life to help create new families. Just as each new family created has its own special dynamics so does every hearing.
A week ago, I was honored to be invited to attend a ceremony in Courtroom 3 of the Honolulu Courthouse. In many ways it was different than any other ceremony I've ever witnessed. For one thing, the governor herself was in the spectator's gallery, along with a number of other faces that would be familiar to anyone who reads the pages of this newspaper regularly. They included members of the Five-0 task force, local business owners, and people active in island-wide charities. Extra seats had been brought in to accommodate the expected larger than usual crowd and every single one of those seats was full.
The adoptive parents were local celebrities. Commander Steve McGarrett, a regular presence on our annual Most Eligible Bachelor list for many years. His handsome face was always good for selling papers, and though technically he was in fact a bachelor, every person I talked to that day told me the same story. Steve McGarrett hasn't truly been single since the first day he met Catherine Rollins when both were attending the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. He fell for the pretty brunette on first sight and those who know him well say it was clear from that day forward his heart belonged only to her. Through all the ups and downs and long separations that come with military service their love not only endured, it grew and thrived.
Commander McGarrett had a stellar reputation as a member of the elite Navy Seals. He and his team had been dispatched to deal with crises in every corner of the world. He was described to me by those familiar with his career as not only mentally and physically strong but also determined to help seek justice for the victimized. Those traits made him the perfect choice to head the governor's proposed new task force, and when he returned to the island permanently in the wake of the tragic murder of his father, he agreed to accept the position.
The rest is, as they say, history.
I got my job at this paper around the same time Catherine Rollins came to live on Oahu. I remember it because it was just a few weeks before the Most Eligible Bachelor edition was slated to come out and there was a lot of buzz about the new woman who had been seen around town regularly with Commander McGarrett. As is often the case in this type of situation much of the speculation was not kind.
The couple tended to avoid high-profile events and were instead often spotted out for a run or dining at a shrimp truck on the beach. Unfortunately, when there is a lack of information the local grapevine tends to fill the vacuum with their own salacious details and Lt. Rollins was definitely the target of all manner of that sort of speculation.
One day I was assigned to cover Career Day at Honolulu Community College. A standard assignment for a new reporter. I'd covered similar events in the past at my previous jobs and expected this one to be pretty much the same.
The person sent to talk to the students about a potential career in the Navy was none other than Lieutenant Rollins. She had a long list of impressive accomplishments which I only learned by reading the printed information provided because, unlike many other speakers, she didn't spend any time talking up her own career. Her words that day conveyed a clear passion for serving and protecting others. For challenging yourself both mentally and physically. For making a meaningful difference in the world and in your community.
She stayed after the event and spent time talking to each and every student who had questions. I walked out of that gymnasium knowing she was a formidable woman in her own right. And it was a pleasure to see others realize the same thing as they got to know her better first through her position on the task force and now as Governor Kekoa's chief-of-staff.
As I sat in the back row of the gallery waiting for the ceremony to begin I realized that despite the differences involved this time the feeling that filled the room was the exact same feeling I'd experienced the first thirty-seven times.
Love.
Every adoption has its own story. Every child has traveled their own journey. Every adoptive parent entered the process for their own reasons. Sometimes the adoption is of a first child that creates a family where one didn't exist before. Sometimes it's of a fifth child that expands the boundaries of an already large family. Sometimes the journey has been years, and sometimes it's been only months. Sometimes there are huge obstacles to overcome and sometimes the process runs more smoothly. Sometimes the child involved is a newborn who will never remember a life that didn't involve his or her new family. Sometimes the child is older and bears the scars of an unstable start in this life. But every adoption hearing presents the exact same opportunity.
A new beginning. A fresh start.
"For us, the idea of adopting a child was something that evolved over time," Lieutenant Rollins told me. "After our daughter was born we were a very happy little family of three. Our decision to add another child was never about feeling incomplete as we were. I grew up as an only child and have no regrets. As time went on, I think we both realized how much we love being parents and we saw Angie develop such a kind heart and love for others. I don't remember necessarily making a conscious decision that the time was right. I think I just woke up one day and I knew it was time to expand our family."
"Actually, I had started to think about the possibility of having another child but hadn't said anything to Catherine yet," Commander McGarrett said. "I was given a small push by some grade schoolers during a school visit who told me they thought it was time for us to have another baby."
The laugh the couple shared was so infectious I couldn't help but smile myself.
"Steve and I have been volunteering with Jacob Allen's class for several years," Catherine explained. "If there's one thing we know for sure it's that kids that age have a lot of opinions about love and babies and they're not afraid to share them."
"In this case it was just the push I needed to broach the idea with Catherine," the Commander admitted. "I was thrilled to find out that, as usual, we were on exactly the same wavelength."
They made the decision to explore the possibility of adoption and after much careful consideration they filed their application and began the process. Like many others they were unsure of how their family and friends would react to the news, but they said they were greeted with unanimous support.
"We were thrilled with the prospect of another grandchild," Joseph Rollins, Catherine's father, told me. "When Steve and Catherine told us they were considering adoption we couldn't have been happier."
"We relocated to Hawaii after Angie was born to spend more time with her," Elizabeth Rollins, Catherine's mother, told me. "Being a grandparent is an amazing experience and we love every minute of it. We were so excited when we found out they were expanding their family."
"The most important thing to us from the start was that it be the right situation for our daughter, Angie," Steve told me. "We were not going to pursue any option unless we were sure it worked for her."
"We were open to adopting an older child, but we were also realistic about potential issues with that," Catherine added. "We talked to a counselor our social worker recommended and to family members who had adopted a child older than their biological child and they all provided great advice. So, we felt like it was definitely possible but we weren't willing to commit to anything until we saw how Angie reacted."
The exact circumstances under which they met their son are something his parents prefer to keep private, but from the moment they brought him home in a foster situation he fit into their family perfectly.
"It was seamless really," Catherine said with a bright smile. "Angie loved him from the minute she met him. A few days after he arrived my mother took DJ to the mall to get some clothes and Angie kept asking where he was and insisting she wanted him to 'come home'. She adores him and adores having a big brother."
"And he has adjusted to the idea of having a little sister very quickly," Steve said. "He never had any siblings so all of the sudden a two-year old following you around wanting to be part of everything you do could be overwhelming. But he loves having her around."
"Watching it all come together was magic," Detective Danny Williams told me. He should know. As Steve's partner and best friend he's had a front row seat to the evolution of the family. "From the first minute they met DJ there was something special about the way they were with each other. An overwhelming feeling that it was meant to be."
"Steve and Catherine have a one in a million relationship. It's hard to explain. Their love for each other, and for their friends and family, is unshakeable and it's the foundation of everything they do in life. When DJ came to live with them they just wrapped him in that love. They never tried to ignore the things he's gone through before. They just let him know that they love him and whatever the issues are they'll face them together."
"You know, I laughed when Angie turned out to be a little carbon copy of the two of them. She's a daredevil. She keeps them on their toes 24/7. She's every bit as brave and curious as her parents, but also just as stubborn and determined. Watching them parent her has been a joy. But watching them parent DJ, a kid who hasn't always had it easy in his young life, has brought my love and respect for them to a whole new level."
"It feels like he's always been here," Grace Williams told me with a bright smile very much like her father's. "He's part of the family."
During the ceremony all eyes were first on the judge as she explained what was going to happen, and then on each parent as they spoke eloquently about what it meant to them to make DJ part of their family. Many members of the gallery wiped away tears at the love evident in the words being spoken.
My attention was focused elsewhere. Namely on the wide eyed six-year-old swinging his legs, fingering his red tie nervously and watching the judge with an almost unbearable level of anticipation.
I remember that feeling.
The excitement at the idea of finally being an official part of my family tempered with a deep fear that something would go wrong at the last minute.
I watched him steal a look at his grandparents in the gallery. I watched his new little sister crawl up in the chair beside him to show him a sticker she'd been given by the court reporter.
And at that magic moment when the judge banged her gavel, I watched his face light up with the knowledge that he was officially part of a family that loved him now. I celebrated right along with him because I know firsthand how powerful that feeling can be.
After the ceremony I was invited to the McGarrett home for a celebration. I got a chance to talk to DJ for a few minutes, with his parents present of course. He told me how much he likes school and that he's made a new best friend named Michael. How he was thrilled that so many members of his family had come to the hearing, even a large contingent who flew in from LA. He introduced me to his Uncle Aaron and his cousin Joan and told me they were adoptees as well and had helped him know exactly what to expect when they went to see the judge. He told me how he loved his new parents and how they were nice and they listened to him and they helped him not be scared. He told me that he loves being a big brother and how he plans to help teach Angie all kinds of things as she gets older. It's clear he's a happy little boy with hopes and dreams for the future. Which is the goal of every adoption.
Before I left, I asked Catherine what she would say to someone looking to grow their family.
"I'd say do what's right for you and your family," she responded. "Every situation is unique, but I would definitely encourage you to consider adoption. There are so many children who need a loving home. The process is not as intimidating as you might think. Our social worker was fantastic. She talked us through every step of the process. And if we hadn't gone down this road, we would have never found DJ who I absolutely believe was meant to be part of our family."
As I looked towards the beach where the young boy was perched on his father's shoulders playing volleyball surrounded by the happy sounds of family and friends it was hard not to agree with her.
Tanis Good is the lead features reporter for Oahu Today and a passionate advocate for adoption.
Find all our stories (in chronological order!) on our website: marirealmcroll dot wixsite dot com backslash real-mcroll
Or in the McRoll in the REAL World community here on fanfiction dot net Find us on Tumblr: mcrollintherealworld dot tumblr dot com
You can join our mailing list by emailing us realmcroll at yahoo dot com with: Add me, please! in the subject line. Or just drop us a line to say hi! We love hearing from our readers.