In The Water I Am Beautiful by City And Colour

It was week three of travelling with Sam. We were at the last facility we needed to connect before he could get Lou back. I handed him the cargo I was carrying while he checked in the order. The Spiritualist was pleased to see us and didn't give us any hassle about signing up with the UCA like some of them do. As soon as Sam was finished hooking it up, his cufflink rang. It was Deadman. Lou was doing better and we could go get him at a resting facility nearby. We grabbed a few pieces of outgoing cargo while Sam picked up the orders at the delivery terminal. The facility was about halfway from the Spiritualist and Mountain Knot City. Should be easy enough.

We made it there in record time-going downhill is always easier than going uphill. But it didn't seem quite right. The wind was raging. I shielded my eyes from the wind to get a better look. There was a cyclone over the facility. Just as I opened my mouth to warn Sam, I was swept off of the ground and up into the wind.

"Oh shit-SAM!"

I didn't hear anything else as I was sucked into the eye of the storm, darkness overtaking my vision.

I was cold. And wet. And sore. I opened my eyes, half expecting to see Higgs. Instead, I was in the middle of a city square. Tar was everywhere. I was on a beach.

"Halt," a man's voice said from behind me. I turned, eyes wide. He made a motion for his skeletal soldiers to stand down. He extended a hand, studying me. "I won't hurt you."

I hesitantly took his hand. He pulled me to my feet easily, towering over me in the same way that Sam does. Wait, Sam. Where is he? Is he here?

The man put his hand under my chin, lifting it and turning my face side to side. Cliff. That's what Deadman said his name is. Is Deadman here, too? And Lou?

"You aren't Lisa. Who are you?"

"Taylor," I answered, studying him. He was covered in blood and tar. The smell of cigarette smoke hung around him. I haven't smelled that since my own father was alive. "Cliff?"

He nodded.

"Where am I?"

"The beach," he replied simply. Great, I already knew that. "I have to find BB."

And then he was gone. He teleported like Higgs does now. I stared, wide eyed, as the soldiers and tanks around me ignored my existence entirely. Well he won't kill me, I guess. I reconnected my cufflink. It rang immediately. It was Sam.

"Taylor! Jesus, I've been trying to call you. Deadman and Lou are in here, too. We all got stuck in the storm."

"Cliff is here, this is his beach, I think," I disregarded what he was saying. "Where are you?"

"I'm heading to the clocktower. Deadman is in the sewers underneath it." I looked around, spotting it easily. The opposite way that Cliff was heading. Shitty sense of direction doesn't improve with age, I guess.

"I'll meet you there."

"Be careful."

"You be more careful. Cliff knows I'm here and he didn't seem interested in hurting me. He wants BB."

"I know." I hung up, turning and walking down the street until I saw a sewer entrance at the base of the clocktower. I climbed down onto the sidewalk that led into it and began trying to navigate the sewers. "Deadman?" I called, trying to feel him with my DOOMS. But everything was fuzzy here. The emotions swirled around me just as the embers had above. There's too much here. Finally, I felt BB. I followed his string of emotions. Deadman was standing there looking terrified. "Deadman!"

"Oh thank god, Taylor," he said in relief. He thrust Lou at me. "Take the thing, I don't want it."

"It's good you don't have it, Cliff is looking for it. Sam's on his way."

"I know, I talked to him."

I soothed Lou out of habit, looking at him worriedly. He cooed happily, giving me a content wiggle. I'm glad someone isn't freaked out by this place. Sam walked up beside me, I gave him Lou.

"You two stay here, I'm gonna go kill this asshole," Sam said, clearly angry. I tried to shut him out the best that I could but the intensity made me wince a bit.

"You're gonna need help. I'm going with you."

He opened his mouth to argue.

"I'm going with you."

He shut it and frowned. I held my hands up.

"There's something else about him but I can't figure it out. I want to be close to him again. With my wits about me, I can read him and find out more about him."

"Fine, but stay back and don't get involved if it's dangerous." I nodded. He handed me a handgun. "Just in case. You got a blood bag on you?"

"Yeah, I've got a few," I patted the utility pouch on my suit. He nodded. I allowed him to go first through the streets, fighting his way through, while I scaled a nearby building, going around the soldiers. I saw Cliff watching Sam, taking a drag on his cigarette. Though I had stopped moving, he looked at me, locking eyes with me. He stared, his face unreadable. The emotions that swirled around him were so muted. He can compartmentalize his emotions, I realized. That meant that he could effectively shut out any power I might have over him.

He flicked his cigarette away. It disappeared into the air as an ember and then an ash when it extinguished. And then he was gone. I finished climbing onto the partially destroyed floor he had been standing on, peeking out a window to see Sam effectively turning the tables on Cliff. Cliff retreated before Sam could take him out. I tried reaching out to feel where Cliff was going to be. To my surprise, he was right beside me.

"Your boy is strong," he murmured, looking at me. His face was covered in more blood than usual. A mixture of his and Sam's. "Tell me, Taylor, who is he?"

"His name is Sam," I replied. His eyes. They look...familiar. Cliff's eyes darted away from mine, gripping his rifle. He disappeared. Sam climbed up a rock and then onto the floor I was standing on.

"Fuck, I thought I heard him here," Sam said, his voice full of irritation. He was tired and out of blood bags. I pulled a few out of my utility pouch, handing them to him.

"He was here. Take these. I don't think he can hurt me. Or that he wants to. I don't know if he really wants to hurt anyone. He just wants Lou."

"Well he's not getting Lou."

"If he tries to get a good look at Lou, maybe you should let him?"

"Are you nuts?"

"I've been told I am." I sighed. "Look, you don't have to take my advice. But he seems more confused and lonely than anything else. The first time I met him, he was full of rage. But now he's just sad from what little I can read off of him. Maybe if he knows Lou is in good hands, he can rest."

"That does make sense," he admitted, sounding as all men sound when they're presented with an idea other than their own that might be the correct one.

I shrugged. "Your call."

Sam said nothing as he went to climb down the other side to find Cliff. Within a few seconds, there was gunfire. I sighed, starting to make my way over to where they were. By the time that I caught up with them, the soldiers were all dead and Cliff was kneeling in front of Sam.

Sam dropped his rifle, pulling Lou's pod off of his chest. Cliff weakly reached up and grabbed Lou, studying him. Lou looked confused by the whole ordeal. A wave of disappointment washed over Cliff. A deep navy-purple color. He handed Lou back to Sam.

"Not my BB," Cliff said, struggling to stand. I held my hand out for him. He looked up at me. He was crying but here his tears were tar. As soon as he put his hand in mine, I felt his sorrow hit me in the chest. My hand slipped out of his as I was thrown backwards onto the pavement.

"Taylor!" Sam called after me before squaring on Cliff.

"Not intentional," I wheezed, the wind knocked out of me. Cliff struggled to stand before collapsing onto Sam. There was a brief struggle between the two before Sam managed to rip off Cliff's dog tags. There was a flash of light and then everything went dark.

A faint sound of beeping was the first thing I felt. The second was pain. I opened my eyes slowly. I was in an infirmary. One of the Bridges facilities. I looked at the bed beside me. Sam was unconscious in it. What the fuck happened?

"Sam?" I questioned. He grunted, crinkling his nose before becoming still again. "Sam." A hand twitch. "For fuck's sake. Sam," I hissed, throwing my pillow at him. I winced in pain. My neck hurt.

He sat up, looking around like someone was going to murder him.

"It was a pillow, now give it back," I muttered. He handed it back to me. I put it behind my head again, wincing. "Do you feel as horrible as I do?"

"No, I feel fine," he shook his head.

"Of course you. Just my luck," I pouted. Before Sam could respond, Lockne walked into the room.

"Oh, good, you're both awake," she greeted us. I couldn't see her mouth, but I thought she was smiling. Sam still can't tell the difference, but whenever Mama is in control, her face is fully visible. Their speaking voices also have different cadences. Most of the time it's Mama when Sam is involved. "We were worried, after the storm all three of you just kind of ended up outside on the pavement. It's been a couple of days."

"How'd we get here? We were up in the mountains," Sam asked.

"No idea, you all literally just appeared outside when the storm left." She turned to me. "You've also got a concussion and possibly whiplash from some kind of impact. Sam's totally fine though."

"Must be from when you got thrown onto the pavement." I winced, remembering that.

"God that guy is sad," I said, reaching back to rub my neck. "I haven't felt emotions like that since the day Higgs lost his mind."

Lockne looked at me curiously before seeming to have a conversation with herself and nodding. "I didn't realize you were that Taylor," she said softly. "That couldn't have been easy." She stood. "I have to go tend to some things around the facility. But if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm around. Just call-physically or mentally."

"Thanks, Lockne."

"Any time," she nodded and then left. I closed my eyes, still rubbing my neck. It was quiet but this time awkwardly so.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam finally asked. I opened my eyes, turning to find him staring at me.

"About Higgs?"

He nodded. "How long were you together?"

"Just over seven years. I met him when he was just a porter. Before Fragile. Back when he was trying to be good." I paused, smiling sadly. "He was a lot like you, but more rough around the edges. He was broken. And I thought I could fix him by loving him more than he could love himself. But I couldn't. And I couldn't see what he was becoming until it was too late and he became who he is today." I stopped rubbing my neck. "What's funny is I think I'm more upset that he just threw everything he could be away for power more than I am that he slept with Fragile while we were still together." I laughed. "God, that's fucked."

"Jesus, I'm sorry," Sam said after a moment. "I wasn't expecting it to be so...long."

"It felt both very long and not long at all."

"I guess that's why Fragile wasn't sure how you'd feel about seeing her again."

"Things with her are...complicated. For a long time, she was my best friend, and then she was the other woman, and then she was with me, and then she was gone because Higgs fucked her over."

"With you?"

"Yes, I mean in that way. Higgs didn't keep her around after I left and we tried to find comfort in each other. But that didn't last very long. She felt guilty all the time for everything that happened and for everything that I was dealing with after she left. She'll always be one of the most special people to me, but our friendship will never be the same again. We're there when we need one another but that's about it."

"Is that why she knew exactly what to do the other week?"

"Yeah. Higgs used to drag me to the beach in the middle of the night and try to break me. He was usually successful. Fragile always knew how to pick up the pieces. And then Higgs tried to make her deliver that bomb. And she never came back so he stopped."

I looked up at him, expecting pity, instead there was an expression I had never seen on him before. He was furious and sad, but also protective. "That's not gonna happen again."

He was so determined. There was a strength and comfort I could feel reaching out from him to me. I felt safe for the first time in a long time. I didn't know what to say but I held out my hand closest to him. He hesitated but placed his hand in mine.