You of All People by Wye Oak

Sam and I returned from our walk to find Lockne waiting for us. "Oh, good, you're both together," she greeted us. "There's a special order for Sam and it's been requested that you also accompany him." I must have looked visibly confused. "Yes, I know BB-28 is back in commission but it's not for you to be a human BT detector. This time it's for a friend."

"Wait, Heartman?" I questioned, my lips pulling into a grin. Lockne nodded.

"He said the two of you were friends but you've never gotten to meet in person. Die-Hardman didn't have any issues with it as long as you don't put yourself out of commission again."

I nodded.

"There's one more thing. Since technically you're a requested delivery, I have to tag you."

"I'm sorry, what?"

She held up a yellow tag. "I have to put this on your suit." I stared.

"Fucking Heartman, this has him written all over it."

"He wanted to know how you'd react," Mama laughed.

"Of course he did." The three of us went back into the facility; Sam getting off on the porters floor to get ready and Mama and I got off on the administrative floor. We chatted idly about work things until we were in my private room.

"So, you and Sam are spending a lot of time together," she said slyly. I tried to remain indifferent but I felt my face get hot. "Ha! I knew it. I haven't seen Sam get so attached to somebody other than Amelie."

I threw one of the pillows near me at her. She caught it effortlessly, throwing it back at me. I caught it as it hit me in the face. She grinned triumphantly. "Now tell me everything."

"Are we sixteen?" I laughed.

"We weren't friends then-we'd have been good friends."

"Yeah, we would've been," I smiled. "Sam's gonna kill me for making him wait, but whatever." I sat down with her on the bed, telling her about everything that's happened and giggling like teenage girls. In moments like this, it's hard to remember how fucked up the world is outside. Well, other than the fact that my best friend is in her sister's body while her sister is also in there. But this is as normal as things get.

Eventually, I did actually get ready. Just as she and I were about to leave, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Sam there, looking very confused.

"It's been an hour," he said, looking around the room. Mama waved from the bed.

"Sorry, Målingen and I were catching up," I apologized. He nodded.

"Oh, almost forgot," Mama said, walking up beside me. She hooked the cargo tag onto my jacket. "Now you're all set. Tell Heartman hello for me!" And then she was walking down the hallway. She paused. "Oh, and there's a hot spring on top of Heartman's place. Lockne says it's wonderful."

"That lucky bastard, he would have a hot spring," I shook my head, looking at the tag. It had nothing other than a little heart on it. I flicked it out of my hand. "Alright, where are we going?"

"Up into the mountains."

"We're gonna need thermal packs." Sam held up a container and handed it to me.

"Already got 'em."

"You're wonderful," I smiled, taking it and attaching it to my suit. "So what are you delivering to Heartman?"

"Mama's body," he smirked at me, "and you."

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

The trek to Heartman's wasn't terrible but it did take a few hours. It was closer than my shelter was to Mama's, but it took a bit longer because it was through snow. Sam ended up having to assist me quite often so I didn't fall flat on my face. And he didn't resist making cargo jokes.

We reached the top of the mountain above Heartman's place and paused to look at it. "It's a lake that's a heart," I tried to catch my breath. "It's beautiful up here."

"Yeah, it is," he said and then looked at me, holding out his hand. "C'mon, it's steep."

I took his hand gratefully, allowing him to help steady me as we descended the mountain. We made it to the bottom without injuries. Once we were at the bottom, we then had to climb up several flights of stairs to get to Heartman's shelter.

"He's got style," I noted as we stepped into the lobby area. There was a full fireplace behind the delivery terminal. Sam checked the orders in while I warmed my hands.

An automated message came up, telling Sam to bring the corpse and cargo into the shelter. He followed me down the hallway and into Heartman's lab. There were BT sculptures everywhere. An actual vinyl record was playing. And the couch was leather. There were so many books and movies. I looked around in wonder. I could stay here forever.

"Sorry I wasn't there to greet you," Heartman said from across the room. I turned and saw that he had been lying on something that resembled a doctor's recliner. He flipped the hourglass on the table. He came over and gave me a hug before removing the cargo tag. "It's good to see you in person finally."

"It's good to see you, too, Heartman."

"I'm sure we have lots to catch up on, but I'd like a word with Sam first. You're welcome to the hot spring-"

"Say no more." I took off my cargo pack and set it by the door. As I was leaving, I poked one of the BT statues. "These are super accurate, by the way."

"I was hoping you'd comment on them," he grinned, giving me a thumbs up. I didn't respond before going back outside. It didn't take me long to find the ladder leading up to the roof and it took even less time before I had stripped down and gotten into the hot spring.

I sank down so that only my neck and head weren't underwater, sighing in contentment.

"I should really upgrade my shelter. Maybe I can make Die-Hardman share the schematics for this place and tweak it," I mumbled to myself. Because every girl should have her own private hot spring. It didn't take very long for me to fall asleep.

I woke up to someone stroking my hair, I groaned. "Sam?"

"You don't remember me, I'm hurt," Higgs cooed at me. I sat up straight, moving further away from him. His legs had been on either side of me, pants rolled up, and feet in the water. "This is nice. Why didn't we ever get one of these?"

I said nothing, watching him closely.

"Oh relax, I'm not here to hurt you. I found a new toy." He splashed some water at me. I flinched. He stared at me, his blue eyes seeming to look through me rather than at me. "I really did a number on you back when I was a younger man. Before I knew any better." He took off one of his gloves. "Still wear my ring sometimes when I think about you. But I guess you're not thinking about me anymore, are you, darlin?'"

I shivered, despite the hot water. Higgs didn't always scare me. At one time I felt safe with him. But now he's like some kind of wild, dangerous animal. Always two seconds away from pouncing and going right for the jugular.

"Guess we both did a number on Fragile," he continued, watching me. "But I did it a little better, don't you think? Had more equipment to play with. Wonder how much I'll fuck Sam up before this is over?" He twirled the ring on his finger. "You gonna give him one of these? He's not as pretty as I am, but I don't think that's ever mattered to you. Just the colors of his soul."

An anger I didn't recognize took over me. I stood. "Enough."

He stood, eyeing me. "Ooh, a show, too. I guess you know how good I've been."

I scrambled out of the hot spring and pulled on my suit without any of the clothes underneath. He sauntered up to me, brushing my hand away as I tried to zip it.

"Such a tease." He leaned in to my neck and inhaled. I grabbed his face, with my hands, yanking his emotions from him. Rage, hurt, ego, recklessness. I pulled them into myself and then expelled them back at him. He flew off of the roof and landed with a thud at the bottom of the stairs. I leaned over the balcony, watching him. He grinned, waved, and then disappeared. I waited a few seconds before slowing sliding down the glass fence and sitting on the roof.

"Taylor, Taylor," Sam said, cupping my face in his hands. I looked at him blankly, my eyes unfocused. I was shaking. "Fuck me." He grabbed my clothes, handing them to me. I clutched them to my chest. He picked me up, forcing my arms and legs around him. Somehow, he managed to get down the ladder while making sure I didn't let go. Heartman was waiting in the lobby.

"Was that Higgs?"

I felt Sam nod. Heartman opened the door so that Sam could carry me in. He gently placed me on the couch. Heartman looked at the defibrillator on his chest.

"I'm about to go."

"I got it." Sam sat beside me, touching my back. "Taylor, can you hear me?"

I nodded, clenching my fists. My clothes were just all over the floor. I was wet and I was cold. I shivered. Sam noticed.

"Can you stand if I help you." I nodded, allowing him to help me. He grabbed my clothes and walked me back to the bathroom. "Take off your suit and get in the shower, I'll take it over to dry." He turned around. I unclenched my fists to take off my suit (which was barely on in the first place) when a ring fell out of my hand. Higgs ring. I sat on the ground, picking it up between my fingers. It was actually his ring. The engraving on the inside was still there. He actually still wore it.

And then I was sobbing. I chucked the ring into a random corner of the room. It bounced with a clang and then was lost. Even while in the middle of a breakdown, I knew that it couldn't stay here. I had to leave it somewhere. I can't just start letting his possessions everywhere so that he can come in and kill Heartman or anyone else.

"What the fuck," Sam asked, coming back into the bathroom at the sound of me throwing the ring and crying. He got down on the floor with me, pulling me against him. I turned and tried to hide in him. Sam put his arms around me, putting his head against mine and nuzzling into my neck. He began tracing his fingers on my back like I had done for him.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I eventually calmed down. I didn't move away from Sam right away. Instead I stayed curled against him, just listening to his heart and the way that he breathes.

Pushing away from him, I wiped the tears off of my face. He moved some stray hairs away from my face and behind my ear. His touch was gentle. It was nothing like Higgs.

"I shouldn't have left you alone," Sam shook his head.

"Higgs shouldn't have been able to get in here," I shook my head. "I should've been safe there." He rubbed the side of my face at the jawline, looking at me.

"I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want to lose you."

I pulled him closer to me, my lips meeting his. It was in this moment that I knew I wasn't just using Sam to get over Higgs. I wanted Sam. All of Sam. I was already in love with him.