A/N: I hope everyone had a great holiday season and a happy new year!

Thank you to everyone who reads, follows, favorites, and reviews this story! I'm so glad that people are still reading Victorious fanfiction, and that there are people out there who love Jade's character as much as I do.

Enjoy?

I Don't Know How

Part Five

"Are you sure you don't want to go hang with the rest of the band at the bar?" Ryder asks me as he pulls into Shapiro's driveway.

"Eh, that's okay," I tell him, glancing back at my phone. Beck has sent me about five different texts asking if I was coming to the after party for his film (Robbie's mom is out of town for the weekend.)

"I bet it would be more fun than some lame high school party," Ryder says, parking his car.

"I'd rather not press my luck with the whole fake ID thing. Besides, this isn't just any party. It's celebrating Beck's short film," I tell him, opening the car door and grabbing my almost empty bottle of vanilla vodka.

"So you're here for Beck?" Ryder asks.

"I'm here because I was part of the film," I tell him.

"It's funny. I never guessed you to be one to chase after a guy West."

"Whatever," I slam Ryder's car door.

"Oh no. You aren't getting rid of me that easy Jade," Ryder says, getting out of the car and putting the keys in his pocket. I roll my eyes in annoyance. "You told me to keep an eye on you so you wouldn't do anything stupid tonight."

"Yeah, I meant stupid like stay at the bar," I tell him, mentally kicking myself for asking Ryder Daniels for help with anything. What the hell was I thinking? I was just freaked out over what almost happened between me and Beck before we were interrupted by Cat.

Now that I think about, having Ryder here as a buffer isn't exactly my best plan. I shake my head at the memory of us in the backseat of his car last night. I refuse to feel guilty for that.

"No, you meant stupid like run back to your ex like a lost little puppy," Ryder retorts, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I'm no fucking puppy Daniels," I walk up to him, giving him the patented Jade West death glare.

Ryder holds up his hands in surrender. "Never said you were. You're the one who asked me to stick with you tonight, remember?" he asks me. "And for some reason I can't figure out, I agreed to come with you."

"Yeah, after I pointed out there was sure to be some Northridge sluts here tonight," I remind him.

"Well, how could I say no to that?"

"Ugh, you're such a man whore," I shove him and walk up to Shapiro's front door.

"You love it," Ryder grins.

"Some of us have a little self respect," I tell him. "Besides, I need to check on Cat."

"Whatever West. I'm just wondering how long it's going to take you to stop being at his beck and call," Ryder says, walking up behind me. "He texts you a few times, and you immediately have to rush to the party."

"Shut up Daniels."

I've been replaying what happened early tonight between Beck and I over and over again in my head. What would have happened if Cat hadn't come barging in? And then Beck kept texting me, asking if I'm coming to the party. He was texting me consistently every fifteen minutes. And then, silence.

I'm not sure what that means.

So yeah, maybe I did want to get over to the party as soon as our show ended. That doesn't mean anything.

(Yeah, right.)

I take a deep breath and open the front door and immediately spot Vega, of all people.

"Jade!" she shouts, and then turns around. "Jade's here!" she yells to nobody in particular. She turns back to me and wrinkles her nose once she spots Daniels. "Ew, why did you bring Ryder here?"

"It's nice to see you too Tori," Ryder says, smiling. "You've still got those cute cheekbones," he says, with a wink, leaving Tori's mouth wide open. "You said there's a keg?" Ryder turns and asks me, shouting over Robbie singing "Uptown Girl" with the karaoke machine.

"That's what I was told," I tell him. "It's probably in the kitchen. That way," I point it out to him and he leaves.

"I'm glad you came! Beck's been asking if you were going to come like, all night," Vega nudges my side with her elbow. "What's that about, huh?" she asks, taking a sip of her beer.

"Yeah, any idea where he is?" I blatantly ignore her question.

Not like I have any idea how to answer it anyway.

"Somewhere," Vega shrugs, and begins to dance to someone butchering a Ginger Fox song.

"I wanted to check on Cat. How is she doing?" I ask Vega.

"She actually already went home. She told me to tell you to call her tomorrow," Vega tells me. "She said she was going to bed."

Well, that explains why she isn't answering her phone then.

I wander away from a very tipsy Vega and start scanning the room, searching for Beck.

"Hey Jade!" Beck leaves the semi circle of girls he'd been talking to and walks up and me and swings his arm around my shoulder. "You finally made it!"

"I'm not that late," I can't help but smile at him, he looks so happy. "How did the rest of the viewing go for the film? Sorry I had to cut out early," I tell him.

"That's okay," he says. We get bumped into by Shapiro and some of the techies who worked on the film and they dart past us. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" he asks me.

"Uh, sure," I tell him, and try not to panic as he guides me over the corner of the living room, where we have some relative privacy. I tell myself that I'm not disappointed that he didn't take me into one of the bedrooms upstairs.

"So, I wanted to thank you for earlier today," Beck says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "You were there for me when I needed you. I- I didn't expect that," he takes a drink from the beer he is holding. "So thanks." he says, and then takes a deep breath. I nod my head, silently encouraging him to go on. "And I also wanted to apologize to you," he says, dropping his arm.

"Apologize for what?" I ask, a little confused. That is not what I expected to hear next.

"For almost kissing you," he tells me. "It's like, I just kinda forgot we weren't together for a minute," he says sheepishly.

"Oh," I say mechanically, my heart dropping.

We didn't even kiss and he regrets it. Even though I knew it meant nothing, it still hurts to hear him say it.

"I just- I didn't want things to get all weird," Beck gestures his hands, "between us."

I can't help but let out a short sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, cause things aren't weird between us at all."

"Well, I didn't want them getting any weirder," he says. "We okay Jade?" he asks me after a minute, slightly raising his eyebrows.

I swallow and force all the hurt feelings down, refusing to let him know I had even an inkling of hope of rekindling anything. "We're fine," I assure him, and force myself to smile. "I have to go find Vega," I tell him, and immediately turn from him and go into the kitchen.

"How'd it go?" Ryder asks me, watching as I take a couple big gulps out of my vodka bottle and drain it. "That well, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I tell him, and Ryder grabs the empty bottle from my hands and sets it on the kitchen counter.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Ryder asks me.

"I'm not going to run away with my tail between my legs," I tell him.

The music suddenly changes, someone must have put a stop to the god-awful karaoke and put on some club music.

"Let's dance," I grab Ryder's hand and lead him out into the living room, and weave through a crowd of people until I find an open spot. I spin around so my back is pressed up against his front, and begin to move my hips sensually to the music, determined to erase all memory of the kiss I almost shared with Beck earlier. He's not the only guy that can make me feel good. Ryder proved that the last night.

Ryder suddenly tightens his grip on my hips and pulls me in even closer. "What are you playing at Jade?"

I lean my head back onto his shoulder and look him in the eyes. "Who said I'm playing anything?" I ask, and wiggle my ass against his groin.

I hear him groan and can literally feel his enthusiasm growing as I continue to rub my backside on him. This is what I want. Not Beck. Not a relationship. No feelings attached.

"God, you are so fucking hot Jade," Ryder whispers into my ear, and then he bites my neck. I can't help but moan at the contact.

"So I'm not a lost little puppy?" I ask, spinning around to face him, throwing my hands over his shoulders.

He pulls me into him. "Not even a little bit," he says, and then leans down and kisses me.

Suddenly Ryder is ripped away from me, and I see Beck's snarling face. "Get your hands off of her!" Beck shouts.

A/N: Don't you just love cliffhangers? :) There will be one more chapter to this story. Please review and let me know what you think!