The End Of The Dreamby Evanescence

The morning came sooner than I would have liked. I woke up before Sam but just laid there cuddled against him. Eventually, he also woke up. "Good morning," I smiled at him.

"'Mornin,'" he replied groggily. My smile got wider. "What?"

"I just love you is all." He kissed my forehead.

"I love you, too." He sat up, looking at his disconnected cufflink. He glanced at me sadly before putting it online. I did the same with mine. We were both flooded with emails and Sam's immediately began to ring. Die-Hardman. He gave Sam some more information on crossing the tar belt while I got dressed. I poked Lou's pod. Lou giggled, wiggling excitedly at me. I smiled.

"You're the cutest fucking thing," I cooed, putting my finger where Lou's palm was pressed against the pod. My room is going to be lonely now. The thought made me sad but I tried to push it away. I'll deal with that later. Sam came up behind me, his arms going around my waist as he buried his face in the hair by my neck, inhaling.

"I'm gonna miss you," he mumbled. I laced my fingers with his one hand.

"I'm going to miss you, too. And Lou." Lou blew a heart bubble at us. I helped Sam gather his things and went with him upstairs to the delivery terminal. We chatted idly as he put in orders to print the equipment he needed from the printer. The items slowly came down the conveyor belt. Once he had everything he needed to travel, it was time for him to go. I walked to the top of the ramp that leads out of the distribution center with him. Once we reached the top, we could see it was sunny. I continued to the edge of the facility, stopping just before I stepped off.

I turned to Sam, he was already looking at me. I put my arms around his neck while he put his arms around my waist. Lou giggled from in between us. I laughed, pulling away to touch Lou's pod affectionately. Sam smiled as he tilted my chin up so that he could kiss me. He pulled me closer, the world fading away. He stared down into my eyes when we broke apart.

"I love you, Taylor."

"I love you, too, Sam. Just come back."

"I'm going to come back. I'm going to rescue Amelie and then I'll be back." He kissed me again, putting as much love as he could into it. I reciprocated, treasuring every moment we were allowed.

He pulled away from me, studying my face. He then looked over, realizing we had been watched. I followed his gaze to see three porters standing there grinning. They clapped, throwing several thumbs up at us. I laughed, my nose crinkling. They continued on inside.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle. He kissed me on the lips again.

"I've gotta go now."

"I know." One more kiss and then he was leaving. I watched him leave. Just before he was out of sight, he turned around and waved. I smiled to myself, waving back. And then he was gone. I sighed, staring at the skyline for a few moments more before going back inside. I missed him already. But we both had work to do.

I went back down into the facility, stifling a yawn, and headed for the lab. There were several scientists working on things behind containment windows, separated from the technical side of the lab. I saw Lockne hunched over a keyboard, looking at the screen as if it were back talking her. I sat at the desk opposite hers so that I could face her.

"Oh good, I need a distraction," she said in relief when she realized it was me. "I can't figure this out and I need to just not stare at it. So I'm going to stare at you."

"Okay, Die-Hardman wanted me to help you with whatever you need so I guess you can just stare at me."

"I'm glad you're so agreeable." And then she legitimately just started staring at me.

"So," she said after her bit was over. She sat back in her chair. "How's Sam?"

"Heading to Heartman's to cross the tar belt."

"That's not what I meant."

"I have no idea what you mean," I said coyly, signing on to the computer.

"Uh huh, I don't buy that."

"Okay, fine, he's good." I paused before trying not to smile. "Really good."

"It's always the quiet ones." She stared at a picture on her desk.

"Mama told me," I began awkwardly. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"So am I," Lockne agreed. "But it brought Mama back to me. I don't feel lonely anymore."

"Everything works out how it's supposed to," I nodded.

"It does. Even if you can't see how it's supposed to until it does."

Lockne and I ended up getting a fair bit done, designing and building some new schematics. Though Bridges had access to a fairly large arsenal of weapons, none of them were really large. So Lockne and I decided to design rocket launchers. It was about midnight whenever we got the first ones printed and tested. They passed.

I sent them off to all of the facilities, adding them to the queue for Edge Knot City so that Sam would be able to make them if he wanted to.

"I can't work any more," Lockne declared, stretching. I yawned.

"I can't either. Dinner?"

"Yeah, let's go grab some food." We headed to the cafeteria. Nobody was working the food line but there was a buffet style warmer where those of us that stay up ridiculously late can grab some food to shovel in our faces.

I checked the emails on my cufflink while I shoved some chilli into my mouth. I had one from Sam. He had just gotten to the waystation by Edge Knot so he was settling in for the night. There hadn't been an easy way to cross, so he had ended up triggering a catcher so that buildings from the other side would come up through the tar and allow him to cross to the other side.

Well, fuck me, I could never do that, I thought reading that.

I was so engrossed in his story that I didn't even realize Lockne had sat down across from me. I opened my email to reply, thankful that he was at least safe for now. Hopefully getting to Edge Knot isn't as difficult as crossing the tar belt.

"Sam?" Lockne asked after I had turned the keyboard on my cufflink off.

"Yeah, he got across the tar belt. Crazy son of a bitch had to intentionally get caught by a catcher and then cross the tar belt by jumping from building to building as they came up from the other side."

Lockne stared. "I'm glad that's not me."

"Me too. I could never do that. I'm a little bitch," I laughed. She laughed with me. We finished our dinners and dragged ourselves back to our rooms. I collapsed onto my bed, not bothering to remove my shoes or any of my clothes. I was tired.

No new email from Sam.

I hoisted myself up into a sitting position, kicking off my boots. I crossed my legs and pulled up the files on Higgs.

Finally, I was beyond the early years.

I think today might be different. I met someone. She's so tiny but she's so brave. She's a few years younger than me, 19. Fresh faced and wide eyed. Her name is Taylor. Any time I'm with her, I just want the world to stop. I want to disappear with her and never worry about anything again. She has DOOMS, like me, but it's not violent. She's like a little bird. So beautiful but so helpless when the storm comes.

I remembered meeting Higgs. I was so enamored by him. He had such control over his DOOMS. And he was sweet, always doing things for me. I continued reading.

I asked Taylor to be my girlfriend today. Stupid, isn't it? The world is dying, the dead are causing voidouts, and I'm just nervous that she could've said no. But she didn't. For some reason, she said yes. And she showed me how she sees the world. How she can just see through people to their core. It excites me but it worries me. She doesn't know about my past yet. Doesn't know why I'm even here in the first place. She doesn't know I only wanted to talk to her because I found out she was special like me. I didn't expect to fall in love with her.

There were a few more entries until I was mentioned again. The others just detailed Higgs' journeys as a porter.

I asked her to marry me today. I took her to our secret hot spring with a bottle of champagne. I waited until after she was naked, of course. What? You've seen her. I'd keep her naked if I could. But don't tell her that, she'll kill me. I'm gonna be a married man. Maybe then I'll feel better. Maybe I won't need any more power to my name than her.

I flipped to the next entry.

I met someone stronger than me. Stronger than Taylor. I'm leaving my life behind as a Bridges' porter. I'm joining Fragile Express. Fragile makes our powers look like child's play. I want in on that. Today's the last day anyone will ever see my face. The only one who gets to see it is Taylor. I can't let her know about this. She'll think I'm still working for Bridges. It won't be very hard to pull the wool over the little lamb's eyes. She wants children. I'll give her that much so she doesn't look very hard.

Next entry.

Taylor found out I've been working for Fragile Express. I left my ID bracelet on the table and forgot about it. She was furious. I've never seen her so angry. We've been arguing more lately, though. She's just so...needy. So willing to throw her love at me every chance she gets. I used to find it charming but now it's just a distraction. I think she's pregnant. She looks tired all the time.

Next entry.

It's been a few months since I've written anything. Things have been hard. Taylor was pregnant but she couldn't keep the baby. I made it leave us. We had to go to South Knot City to have it removed before it went necrotic and killed everyone. I tried not to look at it, but Taylor couldn't help but try to mother it as much as she could. Six years with her and I'm still surprised by how much she's willing to love things, even when she has to let them go.

Next entry.

I can't do it anymore. Taylor won't stop crying. She tries to hide it from me but I can hear it. I know she feels guilty she couldn't keep the baby. Even named it. I can't name it. It's too hard. I've been fucking Fragile. I don't love her, not the way that I loved Taylor. I don't think I love anyone anymore. Not even me. I'm above that. But I met someone else. Someone stronger than Fragile. She gave me a bridge baby. I've been hiding it in the attic, away from Taylor. She'd try to mother the damn thing and I need it to stay connected to the other side. It gives me so much power. I'm going to leave. But, before I do, I have to fix the woman I broke. I'm going to transport her uterus to the Beach. She'll never have to worry about pregnancy again. I'll even take her to the doctor's for confirmation so she doesn't spend her whole life worrying. And then I have to destroy any notion of love she still carries for me. It has to be over. I can't hold back just because I used to love her. Maybe I could have loved her more if things were different. I don't think it would have mattered if she had had the baby. I'd still leave. I'm still going to leave.

I could barely read through that entry before I started crying. So many different thoughts and feelings ran through my mind. Higgs is why I can't have children? Higgs is why our baby died? I calmed down as much as I could, washed my face, and then pulled on my suit. I walked out of the distribution center, ignoring anyone that was still around, and began going over to where the Doctor's shelter was. I needed answers. I don't know if he can give them to me, but I need someone to give me answers. I've been carrying around this weight, thinking my body was defective because of me, but it was because of Higgs.

"You are thinking of me something fierce, darlin,'" a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned to see Higgs. For the first time in a long time, I was unafraid of him. I was furious. I clenched my fists, scooping the anger into the earth and hurling a rock at him. "Oh, I'm hurt. What kind of greeting is that?"

"You took everything from me," I seethed. I felt the mental dam I had built up over the years to house my emotions break. Nothing was holding me back. It started to rain, lightning striking the ground near Higgs.

"Taylor, darlin,' what are you doin?' You need to calm down before you kill somebody."

"The only one I want to kill is you." I swung my fist through the air, the force of it collided with him even though he was about twelve feet away. He staggered backwards. His BB pod lit up, the odradek flashing warning signs. "You killed Katharine. You. It wasn't me. You let me think it was me." My voice broke as I screamed at him.

"Fuck." Higgs teleported next to me, grabbing me, and then teleported with me.

I pushed away from him, we were on the Beach. I pointed my finger at him. "Where the fuck am I?"

"The Beach until you learn to calm down. Hang out with Amelie for a little while. She might help."

And then he was gone. I screamed in rage, picking up a rock, and turning and throwing it out into the water. I fell to my knees, my hands going into my hair as I sobbed. I'm going to kill him.