Book Three
BREAKING NEWS: DAME ALINA QUITS
(An Ode to Dame Alina)
by Keefe Sencen
Soon, Dame Alina shall become Councilor Alina. She has spent many hours laboring to guide us on our paths. I don't know about you, but I will certainly miss her. Just the other day, I counted all the hallways I've tripped her in – a grand total of forty-two!
Yes, she never could pin blame on the guilty party of the Great Gulon Incident, and she spent half the time fixing her hair, but she did much good for Foxfire. Magnate Leto will surely enjoy all the mirrors she remodeled into his soon-to-be-new office.
And now, I offer a parting tribute to the tenth greatest principal Foxfire has ever seen:
All of ye, oh hear
As we close this school year
Dame Alina's good looks
Put her in the books
Now she's leaving
Causing an upheaving
But never fear
Magnate Leto's here!
The Dame's Lane
by Dame (soon to be Councilor) Alina
Prodigies, I regret to inform you that after so many days of guiding you, I will no longer be principal of Foxfire, active in two weeks' time. With the death of Councilor Kenric, I have stepped up to take a position of leadership in our world. With many fond memories of most of you (and less fond ones of a certain prodigy with the last name of Sencen), I pass the baton over to Master Leto.
I give you these parting words of wisdom: Keefe, I know you were behind the Great Gulon Incident. Don't you deny it.
SHOWDOWN IN THE CAFETERIA
by Keefe Sencen
While Sophie Foster and Co. were attempting to peacefully eat lunch in the cafeteria, Stina Heks viciously attacked her, gnashing her teeth and accusing Foster of being willing to heal a criminal with a broken mind. Although this was true, I believe that it is the right of every Foxfire prodigy to be able to eat lunch in peace. Words flew back and forth between Heks and Foster over the hushed cafeteria until Dame Alina interceded, although tensions are far from cooled.
GET THOSE MOMENTOS!
By Keefe Sencen
As Dame Alina will be leaving us in two weeks' time, the staff of the Foxfire Gazette encourage readers to swamp the principal, asking her for her autograph or a clipping from her cape. Do not let her have a moment's peace. Do not relent.
Wanted
Wanted: Garden gnomes to redo the landscaping of Candleshade's front lawn. Hail Keefe Sencen or see him during agriculture session.
Wanted: Dex Diznee, for creating an ability blocker. Hail Sandon, Grady Ruewen, or Fitz Vacker for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wanted: Incriminating or embarrassing photos of Dex Diznee. Hail Lex, Bex, and Rex Diznee.
Wanted: Four large bags that won't wrinkle clothes for running away to join the Black Swan. Hail Biana Vacker.
Wanted: Nose plugs for prodigies who insist on needing their own skin burned off. See Elwin at the Healing Center.
Wanted: KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! See Silveny at the Sanctuary
Wanted: Advice on how to deal with an angry father-in-law. Leave message at mouth of a creepy cave. Brant.
Wanted: An ability. Contact Marella Redek
Lost and Found
LOST: SHAMPOO THAT REMOVES THE SMELL OF SMOKE. OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. HAIL FITZ VACKER.
LOST: BOX OF EFFLUXERS. IF FOUND, DROP OFF AT DAME ALINA'S OR MAGNATE LETO'S OFFICE.
LOST: SISTER. SHE KEEPS VANISHING. HAIL FITZ VACKER.
LOST: SANITY FROM TEACHING STUDENTS WHO CAN'T EVEN MIMICK PROPERLY. SEE LADY CADENCE IN THE SILVER TOWER.
Notice: For those wanting to throw a farewell party for Dame Alina, a committee meeting will be hosted at Sophie Foster's house on Thursday to make plans. Donations of matches, effluxers, reekrod, and gulon treats are welcomed.
Keefe's Poetry Corner
by Keefe Sencen
Keefe, that crazy adorable nut
Doesn't have teal eyes
But a really adorable haircut!
And now a note from a very special guest writer, Sophie Foster!
To the Neverseen: You can't hurt my family and friends. I'm not going to sit around anymore, waiting for you to come after me. I'm going to fight. With sparkles! Also, no such committee meeting will be held at my house.
The Moot
by Lady Wouldn't You Like to Know
Rumor has it that Fintan, after his escape from that bejeweled tower Oblivymere, will be making an appearance as a guest star on the human movie Frozen 2.
Rumor has it that Sophie Foster jilted Fitz Vacker because he couldn't get the smoke smell out of his hair. Were his teal eyes not enough to keep the relationship together?
A little birdie told me that Dame Alina was seen packing a framed picture of Alden Vacker along with the rest of her personal belongings in her office. Is the flame still alive?
Fashion Passion
by Biana Vacker
I, for one, would like to make it clear that wearing metal...well, I won't say it, but for reference thing ogre. Or King Dimitar. Tattoos. Metal. If there's one advice I can give my readers, it's don't get a tattoo.
On a somber note, I want to say that everyone who attended Councilor Kenric's Planting certainly honored him with their attire and hair. He will always be remembered in our hearts.
Although there's more to be said about fashion, I'm terribly busy right now trying to decide which clothes to take with me when I run away to join the Black Swan. So for now, I'm Biana Vacker, with a passion for fashion!
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Notice: As Keefe Sencen will be running away to join the Black Swan along with the rest of his friends, the Foxfire Gazette will remain indefinitely closed after this final edition. Thank you ~ Magnate Leto