Rifiuto: Non Miriena

A/N: Written: 2006, Found: 2018.- Licia

"But your mother said-"

"Please, Cata. I can't burn my diary. I just can't. I have burned all the others, but I can't burn this one. Please. Say you'll take it with you. That you'll protect it and keep it safe. And... and when we finally reach Gillikin or the Vinkus or the City or wherever we're going, I'll get in touch, someway, and you can send it back to me. Please?" Tears slid down the young princess's cheeks, and after a moment, the young maid- not much older than the former princess herself- nodded. With a relieved, grateful sigh, Elphaba pushed the hardbound book with the soft, sapphire blue cover into the maid's arms, before throwing herself into the girl's embrace. "Thank you, Cata. I know it is in safe hands with you. Thank you so much."

The young maid held the girl close; this fourteen-year-old princess she had watched grow up had become like a sister to her, for there were only four years between herself and the young Kauri. Against protocol- even though there was no protocol anymore, for they were no longer royalty, in the eyes of the revolutionaries- she pressed a kiss to the girl's long black hair. "I will await the day I can place it in your hands again, Kauri."

She looked up as the young empress entered the kitchen, hastily tossing her long, smooth plait over her shoulder. A tiny smile tugged at the cook's lips, as the image of Elphaba as a young girl of fourteen blended with the woman standing in the doorway.

"Cata, is everything all right?" Worry filled the young royal's dark gaze, and after a moment, the cook shook her head.

"Everything's fine, Your Majesty. Just... got lost in a memory."

Elphaba nodded in response, moving past one of the younger scullery maids and going to the stove. She poured a cup of coffee, ignoring the fleeting glances the other members of the kitchen staff threw her. "Cata, Ryn's second birthday is coming up in two weeks, and the Havni and Fechin turn five in May. Would it be horrible of Trism and I to combine their birthdays? Nothing big, just something small; family, a few close friends, all of you. Would that be appropriate?"

The cook stopped kneading her bread and turned to the young woman. "Would the children care if their birthdays were celebrated on the same day, Your Majesty?"

"Havni and Fechin already share a birthday. I don't think it matters to them. But they would have to share their celebration with their little brother-"

"If you don't mind my saying, Your Majesty, but a two-year-old isn't concerned with sharing his birthday as he is with the cake he will get to slide his fingers through. A two-year-old is more concerned and interested in the mess they will make than anything else."

Elphaba nodded; she remembered when Faola had just about face planted into her birthday cake when she turned two. And Chiss... the little boy had clung to them, too weary of the flickering candles to be occupied with the cake Cata had made- but then again, her two oldest were very different children, not just in sex, but in personality. "That's what my husband told me. But when I insisted, he told me to come speak with you; probably more to get me out of his hair than anything."

Cata chuckled. "He is a smart man, His Majesty is. If you don't mind my saying so."

The young queen shook her head, watching as the cook returned to her bread. A moment passed, before Elphaba grabbed her cup and took a seat at the table, the very same table she'd sat at the night she'd asked Cattery and Cata to be the godmothers of her youngest children. Silence settled between them before finally Elphaba spoke. "Cata?" The maid stopped briefly, glancing up at the young woman. "You never told me how you ended up in our household. For as long as I can remember, you'd been with us, but I never knew how." Elphaba studied her nails as she spoke, her gaze eventually moving to rest on the simple gold band of her wedding ring. "Please, Cata, tell me."

The two women locked eyes, and after a moment, the cook lowered hers, returning to the task at hand. "It's a story you don't want to hear, Your Majesty." She whispered, dusting the dough with flour before kneading it more.

"Yes, I do." The whisper was so soft, the cook almost didn't catch it. "Tell me. Please?"

For a moment, the older woman was that tender girl of eighteen, about to be separated from the only family she had ever known-

A sigh escaped her throat, and she hurriedly finished kneading her dough before placing it in the oven to bake. She then fixed a cup of coffee and took a seat beside the young woman; no one else in the royal household would even think of taking a seat beside the young empress, let along dare too. But Cata was different; Cata had watched this young woman grow up; at one time, very briefly, Cata and Elphaba had been of the same social standing. Silence settled between them, as she struggled to find the right words. Finally, with a deep sigh, she turned to the young woman.

"You grew up in an orphanage, yes, Your Majesty?" Elphaba nodded, thinking back on the ten years she'd spent in the care of Madame Morrible in the orphanage in Munchkinland. "My mother also grew up in an orphanage. At sixteen, as I believe, she became pregnant by one of the boys who also lived in the orphanage, and the caretaker was going to cast her out." She stopped, lips thinning as she tried to recall the rest of the story. "At the time, your mother was also expecting your older sister, Kauri Oziandra, yes?"

"Raina was born in nineteen-hundred-two."

"From what I have been able to figure out, someone came to the orphanage, looking for a girl who could work in the kitchens of the Winter Palace. As the caretaker was going to cast my mother out anyway, she offered her. So my mother went to the palace. She worked in the kitchens as a scullery maid, and kept to herself. I was born the same year your sister was born. We are mere weeks apart in age."

"I didn't know that." Elphaba whispered, and Cata nodded.

"My earliest memories are of the royal kitchens. The smells and tastes and noise. And then one day, I... I remember being brought to a room; there were two little girls, one a little older than me and one my age. And seated at this desk, was this woman. She was very regal, very proper, and even at two years of age, I remember thinking that I was in the presence of a goddess, I didn't understand that I was in the presence of the empress." Elphaba smiled softly. "But what entranced me the most, I believe, was her belly. She was very heavily pregnant." Her gaze landed on the young woman beside her. "With you."

Elphaba blushed, embarrassed, though she was unsure why. "So... you grew up at the palace?"

A nod. "I was your sisters' companion until I was old enough to earn my keep. My mother died when I was six, and I suddenly found myself alone. I worked in the kitchens; I rarely saw you or your sisters anymore. But somehow, I became your mother's favorite, the one that waited on her the most, especially when she had your brother. Even as a young child, I remember being sent down to the kitchens in the middle of the night for pinlobble jam and lavender tea." A smile tugged at Elphaba's lips. "Which is why I burst into tears the first night you came downstairs to the kitchens seeking those same things, all those years ago, Your Majesty. It was as though I was looking at your mother." She sighed. "You and your family were the only family I had ever known."