Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors

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"Don't hug me. I'm scared."

~Virgil, Sanders Sides

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Jayfeather woke to the feeling of sheer agony spreading through his chest. It burned like someone was pressing embers against his breastbone. He gasped aloud at the pain as it seared his skin, muscles, and StarClan knows what else. His lungs screamed and he suddenly realized he wasn't breathing. Panic exploded in his belly and he opened his mouth, trying to swallow mouthfuls of precious air to no avail. He tried to get to his paws in hopes of escaping the confining walls of his den only to have them roll to the side and give out under his weight, causing him to fall heavily back into the moss and bracken around him.

"Jayfeather?" a voice called out softly. It was quiet, falling on his ears like a thin layer of snow covering a tree branch in leaf-bare. It was so faint but Jayfeather wanted to do nothing more than listen to it.

It was the middle of the night. Even though he couldn't see, Jayfeather knew the medicine den was coated in the darkness of the night. The air was cool and sharp, making the warmth of a nest all the more alluring. None of this seemed to matter to Alderheart though. He was never one to put his own comfort before others. Jayfeather could hear moss shifting as the younger tom got out of his nest and padded over to the other.

"Are you alright?" he asked, voice as gentle as before. It did little to calm the bursts of panic and alarm in his belly but it was something and that was more than enough.

"It's too soon," Jayfeather whispered, voice barely more than a breath. He reached out with his paws, searching for his stick. They met wood almost immediately and he pulled it closer but didn't have the strength to drag it into his bedding. He groaned in discomfort and withdrew his paws back into his nest. Stretching made his chest hurt unbearably more.

"What's wrong?" Alderheart pressed, moving to sit at his side. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts," Jayfeather moaned, letting his head fall back down. He tried rolling over but he gave up quickly. A numbness began setting in and his body wouldn't do what he told it to do.

"What hurts?"

"My head… My chest," Jayfeather told him quietly. He tried his best to look up at him but that just made the string of pain spread to his neck. He yowled softly, the dull pain at the base of his skull suddenly becoming sharper. Still, he owed it to Alderheart. Ignoring the spike of agony, he faced him. "Alderheart, I think this is what Half Moon warned me about. I don't-"

"Don't talk like that," Alderheart hushed, moving closer to press against his side. "You're a medicine cat. Tell me what's wrong and I can help you. I can save you. You've still got many more moons left in ThunderClan, Jayfeather."

Jayfeather let out a ragged laugh. "I already told you I'm ready to go to StarClan, Alderheart. I just… There were a couple things I wanted to do before I died. If only I had a bit more time, even a day, I might've had the chance to do them."

"What…" Alderheart swallowed. It was clear the younger tom was overwhelmed but he was keeping it together for Jayfeather's sake and Jayfeather was eternally grateful for that. The only thing keeping him from slipping into his own panic was Alderheart's steady calm presence. "What did you want to do?"

"I wanted to share a meal with my brother," Jayfeather told him, looking away wistfully. "I wanted to say goodbye to my father. And I wanted to carve that stick."

"You wanted to what?"

Jayfeather reached for it again, paws barely brushing the bark. "My friend Rock used to keep a record of the cats who died in the Trial of Passage on a stick and I destroyed it. I destroyed the memory of all those cats. I was angry and it was selfish and I wanted to make up for it. I wanted to recreate it, keep their memory from fading and maybe add some scratches for all the friends I've lost. They deserve it. All of them. Now I won't be able to."

"You're not making any sense," Alderheart told him softly and began running his tongue over his fur soothingly. "Save your strength, Jayfeather."

"I have nothing to save it for," Jayfeather told him. Another jolt of pain shot up from his heart and the back of his head pulsed. Jayfeather tried to take a breath but the breath came in short, not providing him with nearly enough of the air that he needed.

Alderheart let out a sad sigh and curled his tail around him. Jayfeather tried to pull away at first but didn't have the strength. He actually found it pretty comforting. "Stay quiet and try to breath. Just listen to my voice, okay?"

"Okay," Jayfeather said in a very small voice. He felt like a kit being comforted by his mother but he didn't care. He had no reputation to uphold. This was the end. It was just him, Alderheart, and the night.

"You're an amazing cat. You're brave, and caring, and thoughtful even though you don't want any cat to see it. You hide behind a thorn barrier of sarcasm and bitterness because you hate the cat beneath it. You think so many bad things about yourself but they're not true. You're one of the best cats I've ever known," Alderheart told him, lapping him softly. Jayfeather's eyes went wide and he tried to look up at him but Alderheart tenderly forced his head down, forcing him to rest.

Could it be true? No cat ever read him that well. There was no way Alderheart could know about the thoughts that plagued his mind day in and day out. He pushed cats away, he couldn't save the cats who mattered, no cat loved him... He thought about it constantly. He was never good enough, he was a blind burden to the clan, he-

Stop, he told himself. Alderheart's right and there's no hiding it from him or anyone else. You hate yourself, you always have.

"You once told me that you could tell how a cat was feeling from the sound of their mew and you could tell if something was bothering them by the way their pawsteps hit the ground," Alderheart told him, running his muzzle over the curve of Jayfeather's shoulder. "It's because you care about your clanmates. You've got so much love to give, Jayfeather, and it's a shame that you'll never get the chance to show it to any cat. I think the important cats know though. I certainly do."

Agony spread through Jayfeather's chest like a wildfire and his breaths became shorter and more rapid. Alderheart's licks became longer and smoother. It was enough to keep Jayfeather's mind from solely focusing on the liquid pain coursing through his veins. Not much longer, Half Moon. I'll be with you soon, my love.

"You were like a second father to me, Jayfeather. You were my mentor and you taught me everything I know but you were so much more than that. You guided my paws through everything I've been through whether it be learning how to use a new herb, my feelings for Velvet, or all those anxious thoughts that stopped me from being a warrior. And that means the world to me."

The numbness began spreading to the part of Jayfeather's pelt where Alderheart was licking. He could barely feel it but the sound of Alderheart's voice in his ears was enough to keep him together and distract him from the fact that his sharp breaths weren't filling him with air anymore. He was beginning to feel dizzy and he barely noticed.

"You did so much for every cat you've ever touched. So much that no one ever noticed and probably plenty more that no cat ever knew about. You had so much more potential and I'm sorry you won't have anymore time in the clan," Alderheart told him quietly. His voice cracked with grief but Jayfeather gave no sign that he noticed and kept his ears pricked attentively. "So many cats love you, Jayfeather. I'm sure a lot of them are waiting for you in StarClan but just remember that I want you to be the one to take me up to Silverpelt when it's my time. Nothing will ever be the same without you, Jayfeather. I'll miss you more than words can say."

Jayfeather opened his mouth to respond but a final wave of pain seized him and then it was gone. Relief crashed over him and he got to his paws, leaving his body behind. Brilliant white starlight flooded his vision and a beautiful cat with stars in her fur stood over him, eyes glowing with warmth and welcome.

"Come, Jayfeather," Feathertail purred. She turned, her plumy tail swaying behind her as she glanced over her shoulder. "Half Moon is waiting for you."

Jayfeather didn't hesitate. Alderheart's silent sobs and quiet goodbye echoed in his ears but it was behind him now. Breaking into long strides, Jayfeather raced into the night sky, glittering pawsteps leaving invisible streaks behind him. Half Moon, I'm coming.

Author's Note: I hope I did Jayfeather justice. Let me know what you guys think.

This chapter's quote comes from the Web Series Sanders Sides. If you're a fan, you're in luck. A crossover has been posted as of today. If you have no idea what Sanders Sides is, no worries. The story is fandom blind so any Warrior fan can enjoy it. I think it's a pretty good story so check it out if you're interested in some Four vs Dark Forest action.