Neia stepped through the gate holding Skana's…no… holding Vanysa's hand. Neia was not the most physically affectionate of women, despite her urgent desires, this was part of why she got on so well with CZ, whose disposition and temperament was very flat, and for whom physical affection was mild at its most excessive moments. Only her wife, only Skana, touched her often.

That sudden recognition that she had never really given thought or voice to, brought her to fresh thinking about why she was who she was. However then she saw that, what lay before her was a paradise built by the divine. It was an idyllic landscape, a long cobblestone road with rolling hills, green grass perfectly trimmed, and trees of the sort the little tomboy who she had been as a small girl would have loved to climb. The leaves rustled like ocean waves and the branches swayed gently in the breeze. Down the long winding road she saw a building so pure and white it could not have been built by anything less than a god. She was rooted to the spot as she took it all in, forgetting her thoughts for a moment. The day was warm and bright, and the sunlight bathed her body and left her feeling warm and cozy in that perfect view.

Vanysa did not seem in a hurry, she stood there next to her, neither moving forward nor letting go. To her, this moment was nothing less than what was expected, and she let Neia take it all in. "This is…" Neia said in a whisper that was almost a prayer.

"Illyana's House, the place His Majesty said you would go to. I guess he named it after that girl you knew?" Vanysa explained, and sort of asked.

Neia nodded numbly. Her eyes were wet and it blurred the heavenly vision, she wiped the tears away to let her see it clearly again and looked over at the king's servant. "You were treated here?" She asked.

"I was, and still am. Learning to live after wanting to die hasn't been easy, I don't think it is something even his majesty's magic could accomplish." She smiled and tilted her head, "But don't let the guardians know I said that, even Demi might be mad at me." She stuck out her tongue a little and bounced on her heel, causing her breasts to bounce with her, making her every motion seem like a winsome playful tease. Neia loved her wife…but she could still look.

"You know," Vanysa said, "maybe it shouldn't be easy, maybe by making us work to untie all our knots, we learn enough about them not to tie them up again later?" She proposed with a gentle casualness.

"But hey, I'm still working at it, I could be wrong? I don't think any of our experiences are the same, I mean if you start in Arwintar and ask how to get to E-Rantel, you're going to use different directions than if I start in what is left of Kami Miyako and try to get to the same place. Just because our desired destination is the same, doesn't mean we'll use the same way to get there, you know?" She pondered aloud and gave Neia's hand a squeeze.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, much stronger than me, and you've got a whole lot of people to support you. So, you ready, or do you want to look a little longer? His Majesty didn't give us an arrival time, so if you want to keep looking for a little… it's OK. I like this view too." Vanysa said with sweet patience in her voice.

"I'd like to… sit down for a little while, is that OK?" Neia asked uncertainly. It felt strange of her to ask, barking orders and giving commands to almost everybody around her was routine, but as she saw it now, she had been given over to the care of Vanysa, at least temporarily, she felt like this Erinyes was in charge of her.

Vanysa let go of her hand and sat down in answer, her knees folded up close to her chest and she wrapped her arms around the front of her legs. Neia mimicked her motions and they just sat in silence for a while, the wind picked up Vanysa's long blond hair and blew it gracefully in the wind, it moved with the smooth flow of a dancer's limbs, and some of it caressed Neia's arm as if in affection. It reminded her of Illyana's long hair, for the Erinyes in her human shape… it was her golden crown, for Illyana it had been a golden leash. Neia tucked her head in, lowering her chin into the space between her knees and looked out.

"What do you do?" Neia asked Vanysa.

"What do you mean?" Vanysa asked curiously.

"For Nazarick, for His Majesty?" Neia asked.

"Anything Master says to of course." She said almost teasingly. It was a nonanswer really.

"It's OK Vanysa, unless he swore you to some kind of secrecy?" Neia asked softly.

"Oh, well a few things, I guess I can tell you." Vanysa said thoughtfully. "Well, you know how I run all those sandwich shops?" Vanysa asked.

Neia nodded.

Vanysa leaned back, putting her hands behind her and stretching out her legs. "Best sandwiches ever anywhere." She said with a proud smile. "Well those are popular for the food and all that, but I also work with Demi running our intelligence operations out of there. Nobody looks twice at a sandwich delivery person, and because I'm just a big boobed peasant when I'm out and about, well these are all anybody notices." She gave Neia her ditziest smile and leaning back, she gave her torso a shake for attention grabbing emphasis.

"My boobs may be big, but I don't keep my brain in there, people forget that. They forget that a large breasted peasant girl can be far more than she seems, I can be beautiful, but still have a brain, just as I can be sweet…but have sharp claws." She said and 'turned' her hand, which took on the golden hue and sharp talons protruded where soft fingers had been.

She continued on after giving Neia a clever grin, "So we've got agents working all over the empire running operations out of my restaurants. The nobles don't frequent it, but their servants do, and servants hear things and servants talk, you can figure out a lot from the gossip of the people, who work for people who don't think they listen." She said and gave a sharp nod of emphasis, "That is where my other job comes in."

"Other job?" Neia asked, already a little surprised, having had to repeat in her head what Vanysa just said a moment ago until she was sure she understood what the girl was getting at.

"Yup, I'm an Erinyes now, remember. You know what we do, don't you?" She asked.

"Not exactly." Neia said.

"I torture the guilty of course, that gives a lot of intelligence as well." She said.

"I… I see." Neia said. "Just the guilty?"

"Uh huh. And I'm very good at it, the one who got me to kill myself when I was still fully human… he was an amateur, he should have known better than to give me that chance. Me though, I'm much, much more skillful, it's music to me. You know that noble who was stealing supplies in Prart?" She asked.

Neia's eyes popped open and she looked over at her. "Yes." She said.

"He still sings for me, his terror, his pain… it's… delicious." She licked her lips, the carefree winsome girl was gone, and in the corner of her eye, Neia saw the other side of Vanysa, the hungry sadist that could never be sated.

…And it did not bother her in the least. That, however, did bother her, because she knew it should have. "There are lots of people who deserve lots of pain." Neia said softly.

"But you're not the sort to give it to them, are you?" Vanysa asked, the sadist that was there a moment ago was gone, Vanysa got to all fours beside Neia and looked at her, she wasn't far away, she was close enough that the almost inaudible sound of breathing could be heard, she was close enough to kiss. "You couldn't do it. Even at your worst, you simply couldn't do it."

Neia heard what she said but didn't look over beyond the corner of her eye, she got the feeling Vanysa wasn't really asking anyway, regardless, she replied with a very weak, "I don't… no, I couldn't… I came closer to killing the innocent outright, than I ever did torturing anyone, even those who deserved it." She said in a wounded voice. "I did, if I'm being honest… I gave the order to execute children, 'Aim for the kids…', 'Aim for the kids…' She whimpered out and looked Vanysa in the face, her own was drawn and haggard. "I had to…I swear there was no way but to do it that way… but how do I live with myself now? I set the standard, I gave the order, people followed me, that makes me responsible as if I'd strapped those children on to the bodies of those who used them as shields myself…if you really torture the guilty… why aren't you making me scream out my soul right now?" Neia asked as her heart broke apart.

Vanysa inched closer, her eyes intense and stormy, like a snake about to swallow a baby bird. "I see all the guilt in you, sense it. In some cases, a lot is cloudy. It depends on the person, like with the people who are proud of what they've done, I can see intimate details of their evil, but with the ones who are ashamed, it's like looking at a figure through the fog. You know it's there; you can make out its shape, but it takes a long time and you have to get much closer to them, more familiar, have them relax around you for the fog to lift. But you, you have all this guilt, but it is more often because of what you couldn't do, or what you had to do, than the things you're actually guilty of. You wanted to hurt people a lot more than you did, didn't you?" She asked firmly.

"Remedios, god I wanted that bitch to suffer, and… well she did… but not nearly enough." Neia said softly. The close proximity of the fury and her intense storm gray eyes caused her heart to pound in anxiety. "But I…" She began, then was interrupted by a change as golden skin replaced the pale shade, a dark crown of hair shifted from its golden blond, fangs replaced common teeth, and talons came out menacingly. Her wings flapped lightly as they stretched, and she touched one talon to Neia's lips.

"Do you really want me to hurt you, like harming your body will heal your spirit? Like that will bring back the children you ordered killed or the people who fell when you made a mistake, or do you just want your mind to not hurt anymore, and you think falling into my talons will do the trick?" She asked, her stormy eyes had an almost dusky look as if she were excited by the prospect of torture, but her words remained gentle, sweet, and sympathetic, strangely enough, Neia felt safe, and the talon came away to permit her to speak.

"I just… I don't want to feel like every breath is a curse, like I have no way out but to die, like I'm going to destroy everything…"

"You're not a torturer, you're not a sadist, oh you might take some revenge, hurt somebody a lot, but you can't ever do what me and Demi do. And bad as you feel, even offering yourself up as a victim, is rooted in a desire to get better, and that is why we're here, you're not someone I would make my prey." Vanysa said softly.

"Demi?" Neia asked, both curious and wanting to shift her thoughts away from their current course.

"You probably call him 'Lord Demiurge' huh?" Vanysa giggled and sat back down, returning the distance that had momentarily set Neia on edge, then she crossed her legs as they stretched out in front of her before that magnificent view again, and allowed her human shape to gradually return. "You probably know this, but when you're having sex with somebody, you tend to relax a bit with formalities." She said with a snicker.

Neia blushed, a prude she wasn't, but Vanysa was… a bit much, she got the distinct feeling Skana would laugh where she herself blushed.

"Um… yeah, I got that." She said, "So you work with him a lot?"

"Uh huh, I didn't have much education growing up, but after His Majesty started teaching me, I learned everything I could, I daresay I'm a better man breaker than my Demi is, he's very good, but his repertoire is… well don't tell him I said this, but he's very bodily focused. For all his brilliance, he doesn't step out of his box much often. It's why I was the one to really break the former King Philip, I worked out his mind and tore down his lies about himself. Forget physical pain, he hates himself, he knows exactly who and what he really is to the bottom of his rotten, disloyal, selfish, predatory, cowardly, vile soul. It's worse than breaking the body, because the body is only there to carry the mind, and the mind is the seat and identity of who you really are. It's why you're aching the way you do." Vanysa said casually.

Neia looked over at her. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Your mind is torturing you, a lot of you… have been hurt, broken, and you hurt a part of yourself, Skana lost an eye right? But she's mentally healthy, happy, she's deeply in love with you, devoted to your cause, and… yes she has had her bad nights too, but her mind is on her side. But you've turned against yourself and can't just turn it off, you can't put an eyepatch on your brain. Those thoughts you have that tell you you're poison, only an enemy would tell someone that. The ones that say everyone would be better off without you, that you don't deserve a life, or love, that you're going to fail and destroy everything and everyone will have died for nothing and it'll be all your fault… you would never say that to anyone. I don't know you well, but it is easy to see, and yet your brain is saying it to you. That makes it your enemy." She said and put her finger to Neia's forehead.

"So…?" Neia started to ask.

"So you've got to get it back on your side, it's why we've come to this place, so you can start that process, it isn't easy, but even your worst thoughts, well they are just thoughts, they can be fought with other thoughts, you can work on the reasons for them, understand them, and then maybe you'll learn how to treat them, and get better." She said with her winsome smile having returned.

"Maybe? Aren't you the optimistic one?" Neia asked rhetorically.

Vanysa shrugged, "You want me to lie to you? I don't know the future, in the end it is really up to you, I think you can do it. But I don't know that you will. You want false hope, find one of the old Theocracy priests that are still running around on carts peddling relics, they're the kings of self delusion and false hope. Truth is, nobody here will cure you." She said, prompting a startled look from Neia.

"All they'll do, is help you heal yourself." She smiled and stood up, her hand stretched out to Neia, "Come on, let's go, Demi wants my help with one of his experiments later and if I want to take Goan flying this evening, I'll need to get done early."

Neia gave her a weak smile and accepted the hand up. They were on their feet, but Vanysa didn't let go, and though she did wish she had her wife with her, Neia was glad for any kind of reassuring company. They walked closer to the building, the green grass felt soft as it gave way underneath her, the soil was good. The world, from here, looked beautiful. So up the stairs, and through the door they went as they came close to the building. Vanysa guided her gently, almost like a mother leading a child, all the way to the front desk. Rows of chairs were lined up along the wall, and in them sat a few haggard figures with lost looks on their faces. The sight of the famous Neia Baraja snapped those out of their current expression and in to one of shock and confusion, which as a blessing to Neia, also rendered them speechless.

When they got to a low seated window, an elf dressed in a simple white and gold outfit who was going through a set of documents at the window facing desk, heard her approach and set the papers aside. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Hello, I'm… my name is Neia, Neia Baraja." She froze, the elf woman in attendance obviously knew who she was on sight. She wanted to say more, but the words, she couldn't push them out of her throat, she wanted it so much… she wanted to say so many things. She wanted to say, "It hurts all the time and I don't know what to do." She wanted to say, "I need the poison out of me." She wanted to say, "All I want to do is die, because I can't think of any other way." So many different phrases came to mind, but none of them moved within her, she just opened and closed her mouth several times.

"Y-yes?" The elf asked hesitantly.

Vanysa squeezed Neia's hand again, tears were welling up that Neia couldn't keep back any longer, the nurse was stunned beyond measure. Every elf in every one of the Kingdoms of the Sorcerous Empire knew who she was, the hero who saved so many of their people, the head of the new religion to which all but a scant few elves now belonged, the invincible human of legend who had cowed dragons, broken cities and chains, slain the evil Remedios, destroyed the dark city, had the severed head of the Great Breaker nailed to a post… and here, in front of a common nurse, stood that woman.

"How… how can I help you, ma'am?" The elf woman asked somewhat nervously, watching Neia's face, the legendary eyes of terror looked like shimmering pools of water, the gaze that made kings turn their faces away like peasant girls turned away from lecherous guards, looked softer than she'd ever imagined.

Neia tried again. "I'm… Neia Baraja…" She said softly, she sniffed hard, trying to control herself and wipe her face before her hand fell at her side and balled into a fist. Vanysa squeezed the other hand again and looked at her patiently, nodding in encouragement. "And… I… I need help… please… please oh god I just need help…" She whispered out. She felt, and looked, like she might just collapse where she stood.

This snapped the nurse out of her awe and training instinct took over for her, she immediately stood up and went out a side door and over to the woman of legend, Vanysa gently held out Neia's hand to let the nurse take her. "Yes, of course we'll help you, as long as you need it." She said softly, and she started to lead Neia away. The woman of legend looked back at Vanysa just once and gave her a thankful smile, and then she disappeared into a room, and Vanysa folded her hands behind her and walked back out the way she'd come with a little skip to her step and a happy smile on her face.

…West of Prart, Illyana's Grave…

When Neia and Vanysa had gone, Ainz looked down at the grave marker. With nobody around, he chose to speak to the corpse. "You meant a lot to her." He said, "Strange, you didn't know each other all that long, but I guess that is how it is sometimes, and who am I to judge on that? I never met a single one of my best friends face to face, and I'd slay a world to bring them to my side, you and she were at least together for a while. I really screwed that poor girl up." He sighed and tapped the stone as if expecting a response.

"I put all that weight on her, what did I think was going to happen?" He snorted derisively. "I'm sure Demiurge would think her ending up this way is all part of some master plan, and normally I'd let him think that, but… just this once, just this one time, I can't let that happen, if for no other reason than that Neia is one of my servants, and I can't bear the thought of my dear friends children expecting me to be willing to use someone loyal to me so cruelly, that I might do that to them?" He brought his hand to his face, covering it in frustration, "Gah, Shalltear would probably beg for it, psychological torture for sadomasochistic erotic play 'is' a fetish, and is there any that Peroroncino didn't program into her?"

"No, I can't let this one go like I usually do, I'll phrase it delicately and make it clear this was not an intended result, it was an unintended side effect and if it could have been prevented or avoided, it should have been, and if one of my plans ever appears to have the potential to hurt a loyal servant, they should formulate and present to me a way to avoid it. I think if I do that, well Touch Me would forgive my failure just this once." He said to the grave.

"Well, sleep in peace Illyana, I've got a world to reshape. And… for what it is worth, I'm sorry for what happened to you." He said, and a gate opened that took him to Neia's room.

CZ, Lupusregina, Skana, and Lakyus were all gathered there. The latter two looking especially concerned. When the gate opened, they looked hopeful, but seeing it was he and not Neia, their appearance of relief turned to concern. The room knelt to him as was expected, but he bade them rise and take a seat.

"I have… news about Neia." He said gently.

Skana was quick to speak up, "Is she… is she alright, where is she, she's alive, isn't she?" Skana's auburn hair had grown a bit, and it bounced as she spoke, her voice had a powerful note of urgency and fear to it, and her one green eye stared unblinking and intently at the Sorcerer King. Her battle hardened hands wrang together anxiously like a parent whose child had missed curfew.

"She is… alive, yes." The Sorcerer King said, drawing sighs of relief.

"But?" Lakyus said, sensing the caveat.

"But she's entered treatment." He said gently.

"Treatment? Treatment for what?" Skana asked, standing up in shock.

Ainz nodded. "She tried to end her life several hours ago."

Skana instantly collapsed to her knees and poured out seemingly twice the tears as one normally might, as if her one good eye were making up for the deficit of the other. "No… no… no." It was all she could say.

"How could I have let this happen; how could I not see it coming?" She managed to gasp out after questioning herself several times.

Lakyus was frozen in shock, so much so that it took time for her to collect herself to assist Skana in rising. CZ broke her out of her stupor by moving first, but then together they managed to get her up from the floor and sitting limply on the chair.

"How could I have failed my wife so badly?" Skana asked, either seriously or rhetorically, Ainz did not know, but he chose to answer it.

"She had apparently been considering it for a while, it's just that nobody noticed the signs until the day of. She lives because CZ came with Lupusregina, and since Lupusregina is a master cleric, she was able to prevent the death before the poison could do its work." Lupusregina gave a proud smile but knew better than to speak at this moment.

"But I should also point out, that you didn't fail her Skana, you just didn't know what to look for, she kept her intentions hidden from you all as best she could, and since she used the poison that she did, it might be concluded that she didn't want you to know she'd ended her life, that you'd just think she'd been successfully assassinated. She believed herself to be a poison to you all, a toxin that would kill you, so in her traumatized state, her suicide was to be a sort of twisted act of protective love… but it was also meant to end the painful cycle she had been caught up in. She fought the pain in her own mind for a long, long time, probably since Wenmark, maybe it's been building since Remedios tortured her, maybe…"

Skana snapped out "What?!"

Lupusregina and CZ looked at her sternly, one did not interrupt the Sorcerer King, but anticipating their intent to rebuke her, he raised a hand to stop them.

"You didn't know? About what she endured at Remedios's first strike?" He asked.

"I… no, I mean I heard that she'd faced Remedios down and been hurt in the fight, but when I saw her later, she was fine." Skana said in surprise.

"She was definitely not fine and there was no fight. She tried to shame Remedios into calling it all off, she tried to avoid fighting, she knew she couldn't win, so she turned Remdios's power into a taunt, like the Paladin still in her wouldn't want to hurt human beings. She didn't know, and nobody did I suppose, how far gone that woman already was. Remedios beat her, she stabbed her, over and over again through her arms, her legs, she snapped bones, but Neia wouldn't stop, even when she was reduced to a crawling bloody mess and Remedios was ready to cut her to pieces before killing her." He looked at her with a sense of surprise seeming to emanate from him, "You didn't know any of this?" He asked, and she shook her head numbly.

"I wasn't a front liner at the time, wasn't close to her, and later when I was, I guess she just didn't want to talk about it. I guess that explains why she was quick to violence already when I did get to know her, that explains… well, a lot. I've been with her for only a fragment of her life, it seems there is still a great deal I don't know." She looked down and held one hand in the other, trying to picture what it must have been like to have the woman she looked up to once, push steel into her flesh over and over again, trying to kill and destroy everyone and everything she valued. She couldn't even imagine it.

"I wish Remedios were alive… so that I could kill that bitch again." She said as her nails clenched so tight in her fist that she drew blood, and her jaw clenched in impotent rage at the revelation.

Nobody argued the sentiment. "Suffice it to say, I had Vanysa take her to 'Illyana's House' a treatment facility for people who have been mentally scarred. You are free to visit her at will, I will provide the necessary gate scrolls for both going to see her and traveling to wherever you need to go to conclude your investigation. Skana, Lakyus, CZ, you will hunt down the perpetrator responsible for the assassination attempt when not visiting her. Questions?" He asked abruptly.

"Sire, who will go to the Synod?" Skana asked hesitantly.

"I will go, I know my own holy book very well, I will address them, I will recite the tenets of the Book of Battle, I will field their questions, and you all will update me on your progress." He said as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to do.

It wasn't. They were not however, about to argue. "Your will, will be done, sire." They said faithfully as they stood and rendered a loyal salute. A moment later Ainz was gone with Lupusregina, leaving the three alone.

Skana had clearly been holding it together only just barely, because she immediately lay herself on the bed, stared up at the ceiling, and covered her face as if to hide it from the world. Lakyus and CZ could only sit there, if CZ felt uncomfortable there was no sign of it. Lakyus however, was very human and as a result this made her very uncomfortable. Worse than that though, was a significant amount of distress, she'd been close to CZ, Skana, and Neia since the last battle of Prart, so the notion of Neia trying to end her life was jarring and sad. While Skana, a woman Lakyus knew to be bold as a hungry dragon, couldn't even form words, and she could feel the self doubt and wondering how she'd failed the woman she loved.

Lakyus knew that feeling very well, she thought back to the grand reveal in the woods outside of Kedyn, when her precious sister had revealed her vampiric nature, barring her face and offering to surrender her own life if she could not be accepted for who she was by those she loved best. The deep well of shame Lakyus felt, how she'd failed her sister by forcing her to hide herself for so long, and the gentle guidance Neia had offered so recently, to help to ease her burden. Yet through all that, Neia was the wounded bird, and nobody had seen it because she'd hidden it for so long. "If I feel bad, I'll bet she feels terrible." She thought as she looked at Skana.

She moved her chair over and sat next to the bed and grabbed the wrist of the wounded wife. CZ didn't move from where she stood, near the bed but against the wall with her arms folded. "She will get better. She is still strong." The demon girl said confidently.

Lakyus looked at her in surprise, CZ had never said that many words in a row before in all the time she'd known her. On brief reflection, this probably reflected the severity of the circumstances. Lakyus didn't have words like that for comfort, but there was one thing she could say.

"Listen Skana, there are a thousand ways I'm sure you want to blame yourself, but there isn't time for that now, the one who tried to kill your wife is still out there, still alive, and by now they have to know they've failed." Skana's hands fell away from her face.

"You're right." She gasped out.

"Your wife is out there, a wounded heart and a wounded mind and a killer on her trail wanting to take her away from you forever, and she has nobody protecting her as far as we know, are you going to let that happen? Will you let them succeed after two very narrow failures?" She asked softly.

"Two?" CZ asked.

"The poison Neia used came from them, I say it counts." Lakyus added, CZ remained silent, so she probably approved.

"No… No, you're right, I don't have time to deal with this right now, we have to find the killer." Skana said as she sat up. "Grab that bottle CZ and pack it in our things, we need to get ready, as soon as His Majesty's gate scrolls arrive, we're going to Kami Miyako…what is left of it anyway." She slid off the bed and began throwing things into a pack.

"That is more like it." Lakyus grinned, "I'll go get my things ready, we reconvene in an hour."

"You got it, and I can't wait, because I owe some people pain...with interest." Skana said as she pounded her right fist into her left palm and smiled menacingly.

"Cute." CZ said, and walked over and put a sticker on Skana's eye patch.