"Welcome, Dr Kenderson!" Terri shook the hand of her boss, offering him a warm smile.
"Terri, I'd like you to meet my wife, Gail. Gail, this is Terri and her husband, Jack." Dr Malcolm Kenderson introduced them. The women greeted one another politely.
"Jack, how is that leg coming along?" Dr Kenderson asked him.
"Oh, just fine. It comes along with me wherever I go." Jack hobbled in a circle on his crutches, causing their guests to laugh at his corny joke.
Terri cringed inwardly...this was going to be a long night.
"Dr Kenderson..." Terri ushered him and Gail inside of the apartment and over to the living room. "I would like for you to meet our houseguests...um..."
Terri, Jack, Larry and Janet all froze, trading each other panicked glances as they realized that they had forgotten to pick out names, a country of origin and a language to speak in all of the chaos.
Suddenly, Larry got an idea. Everyone always mistook him for Italian when he was growing up due to his dark looks and natural theatricality. Greece, which is where his ancestors hailed from, was actually quite close to Italy if he remembered correctly. Also, Janet may have had some Italian ancestry herself...in fact, he recalled having a good natured argument with her months ago about which cheese tasted better (Janet had insisted it was mozzarella and Larry had been on team feta). It was worth a shot.
"Mama mia!" Larry jumped up from the couch. He then launched into vaguely Italian sounding gibberish. "Pappa al pomodoro! Tiramisu e ferrari! Michelangelo mangia fettuccine alfredo! Pinocchio mi ha rubato i cannoli! Bravo, Bravo! Thatsaspicymeataball-ah!"
He used every stereotype he could think of. He rolled his R's so much that they could have qualified as joints. He used huge facial expressions and grand hand gestures. He even spoke in that specific, rising and falling Italian accent. To top it all off, he walked up to Dr Kenderson and his wife and kissed each of them on both of their cheeks. When he was finally done, he sat back down next to Janet and put an arm around her shoulders, grinning proudly. Dr Kenderson and Gail looked at him with perplexed expressions on their faces whereas Terri, Janet and Jack regarded him in sheer horror.
"Th-these are our friends Lorenzo and Jemma, from Italy. They are going to be staying with us for a few days and can't speak a word of English." Terri stammered nervously.
Larry sighed in relief. He was glad she caught on to what he was trying to do and that she didn't say he was from Sweden or something.
"Gee, I wish I spoke Italian." Gail laughed. "I have no idea what he just said."
"Me either." Dr Kenderson remarked.
"That's good..." Jack muttered under his breath.
"Pardon me?" Dr Kenderson asked him.
"I mean...you know what? Why don't we see how the food is coming along?" Jack chirped with a forced cheerfulness as he swept Dr Kenderson, Gail and Terri into the kitchen, leaving Larry and Janet alone on the couch.
"Ciao!" Larry waved after them cheerfully. He then turned to face Janet with a cocky smile on his face. "Well, Janet? How did I do?"
Janet just stared at him in disbelief, her mouth slightly open.
"What?" Larry asked her. "Is there something wrong?"
"I'm going to teach you some quick Italian words before they come back, okay?" Janet finally said, forcing herself to smile sweetly at him. She was relieved and amazed that they hadn't been called out on their BS. For once, she was grateful for Larry's ability to lie and to make stuff up so effectively.
"Okay, Janet!" Larry happily agreed with her. "Lay it on me!"
Janet sighed. She was glad that she only had to be "married" to Larry for a few hours tonight. He was exhausting.
THE END
A/N: Why on earth didn't Janet and Larry pretend to be an Italian couple? With Janet's actual Italian background along with Larry's looks and flair I'm sure they could have pulled it off!