im so sorry :)
Words w/out AN: 6900+
Pairing(s): Mileven, Lumax
I own nothing.
the social system: chapter ten
El was walking down the hall, heading towards her tutoring session with Mike.
They were supposed to talk about their relationship, but the idea had El in shambles.
She wanted nothing more than to talk with Mike about it. Although she was nervous about what he might say. El really liked him. It was scary, really, how much she had started to think about him in the past week.
Every time she went to bed, she would consider wearing the shirt he leant her (Sometimes she gave in, unable to resist. The shirt smelling just like Mike was a comfortable thought as she slowly drifted to sleep.)
Every time she read a book, whether it was the one assigned in English or one of the ones she kept in a box in her closet, she would think of Mike. She would think of all the times they read King Lear in class and how much fun he had made reading, even though she had already loved it.
She had started to have really strong feelings for him in a really short amount of time.
Which she didn't regret at all, since Mike was probably the sweetest guy she had ever met.
They had agreed on discussing whatever feelings they had towards each other at the end of the day. Which, now that El thought about it, was a terrible idea, since it meant she had to go through the entire day with Mike, unable to talk about it until after English, during their tutoring session. The stress of what he might say filled her thoughts for the rest of the day. It made it hard to focus.
She had to endure through calculus class. Mike was only one seat in front of her, raptly paying attention to whatever lesson that Mrs. Sanders was teaching. She didn't know how he managed to pay attention to math. The only thing on El's mind was how she would bring up talking about them. Would she find a way to naturally bring it up during their tutoring session? During some conversation about factoring or graphing functions? Or would she have to wait until they fully finished their tutoring lesson before they could start talking about the important stuff.
Not to say calculus wasn't important, but she would much rather focus on the conversation that could lead to her kissing Mike again.
She didn't see Mike until lunch again, but in between that was Biology. She had the class with Max, but she also had it with Dustin and Lucas. Max had asked them to come sit at the back of the class, so they could all be closer.
Lucas had feebly protested, saying the view at the front was better, but after one look from Max, and he had folded like a chair, Dustin quickly following.
After Biology, Max and El followed Dustin and Lucas to the AV room. They decided to have lunch in there, since it was cozier than the large cafeteria. They had all fallen into an easy conversation.
Max had quietly joked about her and Mike's holding hands under the table, which they weren't doing, mind you. But their legs did happen to be linked together, so El didn't protest as much as she could have.
When English finally came and went, Mike needed to go to the AV room, so El had gone to her locker to grab a few books she might need.
She was walking down the hall when Troy had stopped her.
"Hey, El." He sneered, standing in front of her so she couldn't get by.
El frowned, as if she had tasted something bad. "What do you want, Troy?"
"Not much." He said, although she could tell it was a lie. His eyes raked over her and El had to muster as much self control as she could to prevent herself from punching the creep right there.
Not only was he disgustingly staring at her, but he was also the one who had hurt Mike's wrist. He was also the one who had said some disgusting things about her. He was also the one who had been tormenting Mike and his friends since they were kids.
She had never liked Troy before, but then again she had never really talked to him. But now, now she knew she didn't like him.
"If you don't want anything." El said. "Then I should get going. I have to go see my tutor."
"You know," He started, looking back up to her eyes. The glint in his eyes made her uncomfortable. "Word gets around the school fast, El."
"So what?" El said, not particularly caring what Troy or anyone else had to say about her.
El considered taking a step back, distancing herself from Troy. Maybe that would make her more comfortable.
"Well, you've been hanging out with Mike Wheeler and his friends, right?" Troy asked, although he seemed like he already knew the answer.
"So what if I have?" El said, feeling defensive of her friends. She wouldn't let some bully hurt them.
"You know they're losers, right?"
"They aren't losers."
"Are you seriously friends with them?" He genuinely asked her. As if he couldn't fathom the idea that she would have friends.
"So what if I am?" El asked, growing tired of being in Troy's presence.
"They're a bunch of nerds. They shouldn't really be hanging out with people like us..."
El frowned. She couldn't really believe that Troy was actually saying this kind of stuff. "Well, that's a bit-"
"Mike took a pretty good beating last week." Troy continued on, as if El hadn't even spoken.
El glared at Troy's smug face. "I think I remember hearing you were the one who beat him up."
"I don't like to punch and tell..." Troy said, rubbing his knuckles. "He probably deserved it, though."
"I'm pretty sure my father could arrest someone for assault." El said, hoping mentioning her father would get Troy to back off.
"Good thing I didn't do it." He winked. "It'd be a shame if something like that were to happen to him again, or even worse... To one of his little friends."
"What are you saying?" El asked, gritting her teeth together.
"I'm saying that you shouldn't be hanging out with people like that, or more serious things could happen to them."
El gasped, understanding what Troy was basically telling her. He wanted her to ditch Mike and her friends or else he would beat them all up.
She couldn't believe he was doing this.
She couldn't believe she was hearing this.
She knew that Troy never liked Mike and the guys, but to go so far and beat them up because she was friends with them? It was unthinkable to her.
She glared at him, ready to tell him off, but she thought more about Mike.
About how sad he looked when he admitted to her that Troy had beaten him up. About how much pain he was in because he couldn't do regular things as easily. She remembered when he was at her house. He had seriously hurt himself just trying to knock on her door and shake her dad's hand.
And if that happened to all of her new friends?
She didn't want to hurt any of them. She didn't want any of them to be hurt.
"So?" Troy pressed. "Why do you hang out with those nerds?"
She begrudgingly gave him the answer he wanted to hear. The answer that would keep her friends safe.
"They're really smart." El said lamely, trying to push down the emotions in her throat. "They're smart and I need to pass."
"Oh," He laughed, throwing his head back. "So you're just using them for a good grade? That's pretty badass."
"Thanks..." El said, glaring at the ground. She was doing the right thing, she told herself. "They're just a bunch of nobodies. Nerds."
"That's right." He nodded, agreeing with her.
"So you can leave them alone."
"I'm glad you're smart, El." Troy said, before turning and walking down the hall. "I'll be seeing you then."
She didn't reply to him, instead waiting until he left before she let herself exhale. She didn't realize she was holding her breath.
Gosh, she couldn't believe Troy was so petty that he didn't want her to hang out with her friends.
She couldn't believe that she had let him win. She had half a mind to hunt him down and beat him up. Hopper had taught her self-defence. El figured she could take Troy .
But Mike's face came to her mind. She couldn't bear to see him hurt again. She couldn't bear to see any of her friends hurt, so deep down, she knew she had made the right choice. No matter how much it made her heart wretch when she spoke those lies about her friends.
It was better they were safe than hurt.
It honestly made her want to cry.
Why did Troy have to be such a jerk? Where did he get off, hurting good people? Mike and her friends didn't deserve this. They were so much better than that jackass.
She sighed, wiping a lone tear from her cheek. Apparently thinking of someone hurting her friends made her more emotional.
El walked around the corner, trying to mentally psych herself up to see Mike again. She almost ran right into Mike.
He was standing in front of her, his injured hand shaking beside him. It seemed like his whole body was trembling.
"Mike?" El gasped. "What are you-"
"Save it." He interrupted, his voice cracked and El could see him struggling to hold in tears. "I thought you were my friend. I heard what you said. About us. About me."
"No, it's not-"
"I said I don't want to hear it." Mike spat. "You were just using us? Were you ever actually our friend? My friend?"
El held her hand up, wanting to cup his cheek and brush his tears away. A few had dropped down as he talked. She wanted to rush up to him and pull him into a hug.
"It was Troy! He-"
"I thought you were different." Mike said. He repeated it again, whispering. "I thought you were different..."
El didn't bother holding back her tears now. They came flowing in hot streaks down her cheeks. All of the emotions and feelings that were pent up from her conversation with Troy burst free, revealing themselves now.
"Mike-"
"I gotta go." He muttered. "Tutoring is cancelled today."
El watched as he turned around and stalked down the hallway.
"Mike!" She called to him.
He didn't turn around.
"Mike!" She took a few steps forward, reaching out. He wasn't coming back and El was in no condition to chase him. She leaned against the locker beside her.
"Mike?"
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El rushed home, locking herself in her room. She crashed into her bed, covering every part of her body with her pillows and blankets, hiding herself from the world.
She felt terrible. Tears welled in her eyes and she feebly wiped them away.
How could she have said those things about her friends? How could she have let Troy manipulate her into saying things she didn't believe?
And yes, she knew that she only said those things so Troy wouldn't hurt Mike and the guys, but did it really matter since El was the one to hurt him? She tried to protect them from someone who would hurt them, when in the end, it was her that hurt them instead.
She felt weak and used.
She felt so many things all at once. All of her emotions crashing into her, weighing her down. Her unresolved feelings for Mike and how much she cared for him adding to that weight like an anchor.
Mike...
She hadn't even considered how Mike felt. Sure, he was mad. That was pretty obvious. But she broke his trust. She broke the entire group's trust for saying stuff which wasn't true. How was Mike even feeling right now? If it was El, she'd be devastated.
And El was devastated, but for different reasons.
All because of Troy.
She needed to talk to them. She needed to explain why she said what she did. El couldn't live with herself if Mike and the guys believed she secretly hated them, only using them for a passing grade.
She tried to call Mike twice, but he didn't pick up either time. El wanted to explain everything to him. Her conversation with Troy, the threats he made and how she only said those terrible things to protect Mike and his friends.
El wanted to tell him how much him and his friendship meant to her
But he didn't really want to talk right now.
El found herself habitually checking her phone for any sign from Mike, whether it's a missed text or a phone call. Neither came, however, and El decided it'd probably be better for her mood if she wasn't constantly checking to see if Mike had replied.
She threw her phone across her bed, out of arm's reach and turned the television in her room on.
A rerun of a particularly bad soap opera was on. It seemed appropriate for her mood, she decided to keep it on.
Her tears continued to stream and El let them, occasionally wiping them away with the blanket as she tried her hardest to focus on the soap opera in front of her.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
After the third or fourth rerun of soap opera after soap opera, it had gotten to a point where El was just blankly staring at the television. Whatever words the characters were saying were just background noise. Images flashed in front of her eyes and the characters' voices droned on but she wasn't really paying any attention to it.
The only thing she could think about was the look of betrayal on Mike's face and how she had caused it.
The crying had stopped and the emotions were slowly fading away. She felt numb.
El registered the click and open of the front door but didn't bother reacting, continuing to stare at the television.
A knock on her bedroom door shook El out of her stupor. She turned to see her dad poking his head through the door.
"Hey kid, you didn't answer my calls-" He said, before halting once he got a proper look at her.
El didn't mean to ignore Hopper, but she threw her phone across her room to ease the sense of panic she felt.
"Sorry…" El croaked, her cracking voice barely above a whisper. She didn't meet Hop's eyes.
"Kid, what's wrong?" Hopper gently said, rushing to take a seat beside El on the bed. He placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him.
El's resolve broke and she sobbed in response, accidentally wiping her tear-stained eyes on Hop's shoulder. She probably looked terrible right now, with a runny nose and tears streaming down her face.
"T-things aren't good with, uh, Mike, right now."
"Mike?" Her father repeated. "Did he hurt you?"
"N-no." El faltered and shook her head. "I...I hurt him."
El explained what happened after school between her and Troy, and then between her and Mike.
"Did Troy specifically say he would hurt Mike and his friends if you continued hanging out with them?" Her father interrogated, entering cop mode, as she called it.
"I can't really remember exactly." El shook her head. "I just know he implied that Mike and his friends could get hurt or something if I hang around them."
"Well, I'll bring him to the station." Hopper suggested. "Maybe that'll be enough to scare him."
"Do whatever you can to Troy, he's been harassing Mike and his friends for years."
"For years?" Her dad said, surprised. "He's probably been doing stuff like this to even more people, then."
"Probably." El commented, trying not to focus on Troy too much. "What do I do about Mike?"
"Oh…" Hopper said, scratching the back of his neck. "Have you tried talking to him?"
"He won't answer my calls."
"Maybe you just need to give it some time." Hopper suggested. "Trust me, kiddo. That kid is crazy about you. He'd be a fool to not listen to you."
El sighed. "Thank you."
"Anytime." Hop said. "I was gonna make dinner, but I think it'd be more appropriate to make some waffles? If you want me to?"
El smiled. Hop only ever offered to make homemade waffles when she wasn't feeling well. "That sounds amazing. Thank you."
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
The waffles helped, but El's emotions started creeping to her forefront again.
El laid on her bed, staring blankly at her ceiling. She didn't know what to do right now. Talking to her dad had helped. It allowed her to release some of the emotions she was feeling. But there was still about a hundred more things swelling up inside of her and she didn't know how to cope.
Guilt being one of the more prominent things she was feeling right now.
She considered calling Mike again. She had already tried calling him three or four times. El doubted he wanted to talk right now, though.
But El really wanted to talk right now. She had to explain herself. To explain that it was just bad timing and he didn't hear the full conversation between her and Troy. She only said those things to protect him and his friends. Her friends.
El grabbed her phone, navigating to her contacts, finding Mike's name and hovering over it before going to Max's instead.
El's phone rang as she waited for Max to answer the call.
"Hey. What's up?" Max asked.
"Mike and I got in a fight." El said, her voice cracking.
"Why?" Max pressed, sounding concerned. "What happened?"
El quickly explained what had happened between her and Mike.
"I was just trying to protect him and the guys!" El defended, trying to explain herself.
"I believe you." Max reassured her. "Is there anything I can do? What do you need?"
"He won't answer my calls or texts." El explained. "I need you to talk to him or… Lucas! Convince Lucas to get Mike to hear me out or something… Anything…"
She probably sounded crazy or desperate or something, but El didn't care.
"Well, from Mike's point of view, you said some pretty terrible stuff-"
"But I was…"
"But you were just trying to protect him, I know." Max continued on. "But he probably just needs time, right now. To process and to relax. You need some time, too."
"Okay… That's what my dad said, too." El agreed. "I'll try. Are you gonna talk to Lucas, though?"
"I will tomorrow at school, when things have cooled down a bit."
"Thank you." El said. "I really appreciate it."
"Anytime." Max said. "And don't worry. Once you're able to explain things, I'm sure Mike will understand."
El hoped so.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El eagerly waited in her Calculus class for Mike to show up. She'd be able to explain everything, Mike would forgive her and she wouldn't feel so bad all the time.
But she waited and waited and he didn't show up. Even after the late bell rang, the seat in front of her stayed empty. She thought maybe he was just late, that he'd show up halfway through the class with the excuse of sleeping in, or something.
But as class went on, it became clearer and clearer that he was avoiding her. Or maybe he just didn't show up to school today.
El tried to hold in her disappointment. She didn't blame Mike for skipping. If she was in his position, she probably would've skipped too.
But she couldn't stop herself from feeling disappointed either.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
As Calculus class ended, and El was about to leave, Mrs. Sanders called out to her.
El looked over to where she was sitting behind her desk.
"I'll wait for you outside." Max said. El watched her walk out of the class with everyone else.
El walked across the now empty classroom. "Yes, Mrs. Sanders?"
"Well, it's been about a week since I assigned Mike as your tutor." Mrs. Sanders said, oblivious to the look on El's face. "I wanted to know how that's going?"
El felt her eyes tearing up. It took everything in her not to cry.
"It's good." El squeaked. The lie weighing against her chest. "Things are going good."
"Well, that's good to hear." Mrs. Sanders said with a smile. "Enjoy your lunch."
El took that as her cue, and walked away.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Throughout the day, the guys kept giving her looks.
El thought it was nothing, at first. She thought she was just imagining it.
But by the third glance from Dustin and Lucas in their Biology class, El started to suspect something.
She figured they already knew about what happened between her and Mike. They were his best friends, of course he would have told them about what happened.
But El couldn't decipher the looks on their faces. She couldn't figure out if they hated her or not. Every time she noticed them staring at her, their heads whipped back to the front of the class. And every time she tried to get their attention, to maybe talk and let her explain, they adamantly ignored her.
It was kind of irritating, really. She felt like she was on display at a zoo. Everyone watching her from arm's length, unable to interact with them.
It didn't help with all of the other emotions she was already feeling due to the situation.
When lunch came around, El thought about going to the AV room. That's where all of the guys were probably going to be. She'd be able to talk to them without interruption and they conveniently wouldn't be able to go anywhere since there was only one exit to the AV room.
"What do you think?" El asked Max as they walked out of Calculus.
"About what?"
Oh, right. She hadn't said what she was thinking aloud. "Should we go to the AV room so I can explain my side of things?"
"You could, yeah…" Max slowly nodded, as if she was thinking it over. "Do you know what you'd say? It doesn't really seem like any of the guys wanna talk to us right now."
"Well, that's because they slip into the crowd as soon as we get close to them." El explained. "But if we trap them in the AV room…"
Max sighed. "You want to trap them in the AV room and force them into listening to you?"
"Yes! Exactly." El nodded. "But, uh, we don't need to trap them, per se… You could just stand by the door and look intimidating."
"Me?"
"Well, compared to me… You're a lot more intimidating." El shrugged. "And I've been crying and stuff. I can't block the door, or anything."
"So let me get this straight." Max said. "You think the best idea is to intimidate and trap the people you're apologizing to?"
El gaped. That was exactly what she had suggested they do. "Oh my god… That's a terrible idea."
"Let's just try talking to them like normal people first." Max suggested. "If that doesn't work, then we'll talk about the trapping thing."
"Maybe we should eat first?" El said. "I feel like if things don't go well they won't let us stick around to have lunch."
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
They walked to the AV room and El stepped forward to knock on the door. Her raised fist hesitated as she held a breath. Maybe Mike would be in there? Maybe he decided to come to school for the last half of the day.
Doubtful, she thought.
El knocked on the door and waited a second, opening it when no one answered.
Will, Lucas and Dustin were sitting around the table, eyes wide open and cautiously glancing at each other. No Mike.
El froze, not sure what she should say. On the walk over she had gone over her plan in her head. She would profusely apologize, for everything, and then ask if they would let her explain.
But the air was silent, except for the sound of Max's footsteps as she walked into the room behind El.
"Sup?" Max said, looking around and breaking the silence.
Lucas was the first to say something. "Uh… Not much?"
Max gave El a look, as if to say: Well, here's your opening. Don't mess it up.
"Right…" El blurted. "I just want to apologize. Like, a lot. I said a lot of stupid things that I didn't mean. And I can explain if you'll let me."
El looked into their eyes, trying to show how sincere she was. She really cared about these people.
The boys looked around at each other. Will gave a tentative shrug while Dustin wildly flailed his arms in her direction. Lucas seemed to be the deciding factor, but he seemed to be focused on Max behind her.
Dustin shoved his shoulder, trying to get his attention.
"Right. Mike said you said a lot of bad things about us and about him. Even if you have a good explanation, Mike's hurt right now. He doesn't want to talk to you right now." Lucas said.
"We shouldn't even be talking to you right now." Dustin continued.
Inconveniently, the bell rings, signalling the end of lunch.
El frowned.
"We should get going…" Dustin said, standing up and grabbing his things. "We've got class… and stuff."
Dustin made his way to the door, Lucas following. Will was still at the table looking at El.
She pleaded to him with her eyes, asking for just a chance.
"Will, you coming?" Dustin said, stopped at the door.
He shook his head and started gathering the art supplies on the table. "Yeah, just gotta get my art stuff. I'll be there."
"Alright. I'll see you after." Dustin said, before leaving.
Lucas went to leave, too, but Max grabbed his arm and pulled him in. She whispered something indiscernible in his ear.
El tilted her head, but Max didn't elaborate.
Will had finished gathering his pencil crayons. He made his way to the door but El stepped in front of him, blocking him in.
"I thought we talked about the trapping thing." Max commented.
"What?" Will asked, moving to get by.
El stepped in front of him again. "Please, Will."
"I-I'm sorry, okay? I need to get to class." He said, looking down. "I shouldn't be talking to you."
"Then don't talk. Just listen." El said. "After English? Please? Just hear me out. Listen to my side. That's all I want."
Will was silent for a moment before he looked up. He sighed. "Fine."
A giant grin spread itself on El's face. She squealed. "Thank you!"
El felt momentarily happy. She pulled Will into a quick hug before releasing him after protests of being late to class.
"I'll see you at English." El said. "Thank you."
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Fast forward to English and El couldn't contain herself. Slightly nervous as to how Will would take her explanation.
Would he accept it? Would he forgive her?
El told herself that he would, repeating it to herself like a mantra. But in the back of her mind, doubts and insecurities stocked their way to her forethoughts. Did she even deserve to be forgiven? Would she forgive her if the roles were swapped?
What would happen if they didn't forgive her?
El tried not to think about it. But considering Max wasn't there to distract her and the noticeable absence of Mike in his regular chair somehow made her think even more of him… It was hard to think about anything else.
El needed this conversation to go well. She just had to explain what really happened. How Troy was manipulating her and she had only said those things to protect the guys.
She eyed Will at the front of the English class. He was reading King Lear.
El looked down at her copy of the book in front of her. She couldn't bring herself to read it without Mike.
El found herself waiting for the end of day bell to ring, bouncing up and rushing to Will when it finally came.
She continued waiting as he put his stuff away. They walked out of class in silence until they were alone.
"I'm sorry." El said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
She stopped walking and turned towards Will. "You guys are some of the coolest, and most genuine people I've ever met. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you."
"Then why'd you say those things?"
El explained the conversation between her and Troy. Why she said those things and what he said he would do to the guys.
"He basically said he would beat you up." El exclaimed. "He's an idiot. I shouldn't have done what he wanted me to…"
Will didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry…" El whispered, her voice hoarse. Explaining what happened had brought up the emotions she had worked so hard to suppress. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and before she knew it, there were more.
El silently sobbed. "I don't care about my grades. I'm not using you to pass. I'm sorry."
Will pulled her into a hug. "It's okay. I forgive you."
El looked up.
"I believe you." Will continued. "Troy has done worse to us in the past."
"You believe me?" El asked in disbelief.
"Yes." He nodded. "Look, I'll try to talk to Mike. Maybe convince him to talk to you?"
"You'd do that?"
"Of course." Will said. "You're our friend, too."
El sobbed in relief, pulling Will into another hug.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El paced around her room. Thoughts of all kind were floating around her head.
She felt happy since Will believed her. He forgave her and is willing to try to help her. It truly showed Will's generosity.
But guilt and sadness still bored into her. She felt numb and anxious.
El shook her head, trying desperately to clear any thoughts from her head. This always happened when she was left to her own devices.
If El was given the opportunity to sit and wallow in her emotions alone, she would.
She needed a distraction.
El glanced around her room and Mike's shirt jumped into her vision. It was neatly folded and washed, this time placed on her desk.
She used to pick it up and feel comforted. The shirt was very Mike. It smelled like him. It reminded her of him.
But as she continually wore it and washed it, the scent was fading.
Kind of like her connection with Mike, slowly disappearing until it's gone, and there's nothing she can do about it.
She debated with herself if she should put it on. Maybe it would comfort her like it always had. Maybe it'd be a harsh reminder of the terrible things she said.
El quickly slipped the shirt on, covering herself with the blankets on her bed. It seemed to be more comforting than not, and she quickly fell asleep.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El hoped this school day would be better than yesterday's. Maybe Mike would even show up, who knows?
They'd be able to talk, if he wanted to.
Mike hadn't returned her calls, which probably showed that he didn't want to talk. Which is why El was surprised when Mike showed up for Calculus.
El felt her heartbeat quicken as she looked at him. It had only been a day and a half since she's last seen him but he looked so different. Eyes down, watching his shoes as he walked, like he was avoiding any and all eye contact.
Which, now that El thought about it, was what he was probably doing. He took his usual seat in front of her and didn't look at her or Max once, his eyes glued forward to the front of the class.
El turned around and faced Max, silently holding a conversation with her.
El raised her eyebrows at Max, should I talk to him?
Max only shrugged in response, up to you.
El stretched her leg forward and kicked the back of Mike's chair, trying to grab his attention. She waited for him to turn around like he always would.
He always turned around.
His head stayed put though, focused on the front of the class and El sighed.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El called out to Mike as class ended, but he kept walking.
Using her deductive reasoning and logical thinking, El figured Mike still didn't want to talk to her. Which was a bit disappointing, but there wasn't much she could do about it right now.
She walked to the cafeteria with Max. Usually she would've had lunch with the boys in the AV room, but El didn't think her and Max would be wanted there right now.
They entered the cafeteria and took their usual table.
"Are you okay?" Max asked.
"No, not really." El admitted. "I just want things to go back to how they were before. It was simpler then."
"You make it sound like a lifetime ago." Max laughed. "It's been two days."
"I know…" El sighed.
"Things will be fine." Max said. "Just give it some more time, like I said yesterday."
El mutely nodded.
"I talked to Lucas yesterday."
"What'd he say?" El asked, perking up.
"We talked it over and he said he'd ask Mike to hear your side of the story."
"That's good." El nodded. "Thank you."
"Anytime." Max smiled.
"Wait…" El said. "You were with me almost all day yesterday during school. When did you talk to Lucas?"
"Oh…" Max said, looking down. Her face had tinged a light shade of red. "We talked after school."
"Like, after school, after school?"
"Well, there isn't that many after schools…"
"Where did this discussion occur?"
"...At Benny's." Max replied.
"So you talked with Lucas at Benny's after school." El drawled on. "You basically went on a date!"
"We did not!"
El just tilted her head down, raising her eyebrows.
"Maybe we did…" Max admitted. "Are you okay with that?"
"What? Yes! I'm fine. That's awesome." El said. "I'm happy for you."
At least one of them was having some luck.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El arrived to English early. She watched the door as students streamed into the class, hoping she'd see Mike.
Just as the bell rang, El saw him enter the class. She looked at him, hopeful. Maybe he'd sit beside her like he usually does?
She sighed as he rushed to sit beside Will, barely sparing a glance in her direction.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El felt her heart break as she watched Mike pull out his own copy of King Lear and start reading on his own.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El was so surprised when she saw Mike's name flash on her phone, she almost didn't answer the call.
She shook herself out of her stupor and managed to hit the answer call button.
"Hello?" El whispered, almost breathless.
"Uh, hey…" Mike awkwardly said.
"Hi…" El gasped. She hadn't heard Mike's voice in two days. The last time she did, was when they fought. She didn't say anything, just reveling in the fact the Mike had called her. Maybe Will and Lucas had helped after all.
Mike cleared his throat. "Um, I'm not going to be in school tomorrow…"
"Yeah?" El asked, she felt disappointed. Was he only calling to tell her wasn't going to school again? "Is that why you called?"
"Yeah." Mike said, making El frown. "I was wondering if you could get me a copy of the homework again."
"Yeah. I can do that." She agreed. All he wanted was the homework... "Is that all?"
"Um, if you ask Will… During English if you ask him…" Mike repeated. "He can give you the rest of my homework for the day. Maybe you could drop it off at my house for me? If you're free, that is… We could, uh, we could talk after."
"We can?" El asked, hopeful. She wasn't sure whether or not she had heard him correctly.
"Uh, yeah. If you want. We can talk about… things." He confirmed.
"I would really like to talk about t-things." El's voice cracked. She felt a couple tears of joy roll down her cheek. All she's wanted the past two days is to talk to him. And now she finally had the chance.
"Are you crying?" Mike asked. "Is everything okay?"
"No, I'm- I'm fine." El reassured him. She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. "I'm just really glad you're willing to talk about… things with me."
Mike lightly chuckled. "Yeah… I guess I'll see you tomorrow then? I need to get back to doing homework with the guys…"
"Yeah." El agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Neither of them said anything and El figured that was the point where they should hang up, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
She lightly chuckled, slightly in disbelief. "Goodbye, Mike."
"Bye." He said, before hanging up.
El gently placed her phone down and sat on the edge of her bed. She was slightly in shock that that had just happened.
Mike had called her. This was amazing. Holy shit, this was amazing.
El thought he would've needed more time, after seeing how he was acting in school. He barely even spared a glance at her and all of a sudden he was calling her?
Will and Lucas had probably said something to help change his mind.
El felt happy, relieved and so much more all from one phone call. She was bouncing up and down on the side of her bed.
This was amazing.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
The next day, when Mike didn't show up for classes, it didn't seem to hurt her heart.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
El was driving to Mike's house.
She had triple checked to make sure she had actually brought a copy of the homework for Mike. And when she was sure she hadn't forgotten anything she had started making her way to his house.
El was nervous. For the past twenty-four hours she had felt relief and excitement, but now that she was actually about to see Mike, to explain her side of the story and beg for his forgiveness, she felt like she was going to throw up.
Which was something new. She had felt a lot of different emotions and things over the past few days, ranging from happy to sad and pretty much everything in between. But she hadn't felt like she was going to puke.
The closest feeling she's had to this is when she had actually said those things about Mike and her friends. The thought of that had made her sick, but not physically sick.
Maybe El should've taken it as a warning. An omen of something bad to come.
But she didn't.
El yawned as her car came to a stop at a red light. She wasn't too far from Mike's house.
On top of everything she was feeling, she felt tired. Sleepy.
The nap she took yesterday, at the time, felt like a great thing to do. But it made it so she couldn't fall asleep for the rest of the night and she had been tired all day at school.
El yawned again, this time trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.
At least she could use the time she spent staring up at her ceiling to think about exactly what she would say to Mike. She could rehearse it to herself in her head because this apology needed to be perfect.
She needed to let Mike know how important he was to her. And not just because he was tutoring her.
The light turned green and El stepped on the gas.
She heard the honk of a horn as her vision went sideways. The sickening sound of crunching metal surrounded her.
She felt her body fly sideways but stay glued in her seat at the same time.
How was that possible?
El didn't know, but that was barely a concern for her at the moment.
The only thing she could think about was Mike.
Her body stopped spinning and the sound of the horn seemed to fade away. Her car was flipped on its side. Her windshield was shattered.
Mike won't… Mike won't get his homework… El thought as her vision started fading.
She definitely needed to throw up.
A pain she didn't know she had started flaring in her left ankle.
Her vision went black and El passed out.
alright. let me start this out by saying im sorry.
im sooooo sorry.
not just for that car crash thing but also for not uploading for 2+ months. in my defence, i didn't know where i wanted the story to go. also school started and university is ten times harder than high school:/
like seriously, university is SO much harder than high school. i get multiple quizzes every week, tests and assignments, too. it's way too much and i'm struggling to catch up. like, an hour ago, i just finished a TWELVE page paper. twelve pages of paper! shit is crazy man. shit is crazy. like, i could upload that paper to here, and have it be longer than some of my fics
anyway, i know that doesn't excuse it, but hopefully you'll understand
back to the fic.
i've been working on this one specific chapter ever since i uploaded the previous one. two months on one chapter (kinda crazy if you think about it, considering every other chapter was done in less than a week and i think some of them are a lot better than this one, lol)
it's hard to write about angst and stuff like that when you aren't personally experiencing it imo. I've never been in El's position so I don't know how to handle it realistically. The best i can do is write about how i think she would react. that said, i didn't spend two months on this (even though i just said i did) I spent an hour or two from each weekend of the past two months working on it (which was all the time i could afford tbh i had sooo much school work)
its also made it hard to write the chapter since the last one was so long ago. like, at the time i had ideas and stuff floating through my head. my vision on where i wanted the story to go (after two months of deliberation, i did decide to include the car crash scene) I guess you know how i feel though, for some of you, it's been two months since you last read this fic. you've probably forgotten what's even happening (I know i did. I had to re-read the entire thing just so i could remember.)
id highly suggest you re-read the fic also (although looking back on it some parts make me cringe lol) i won't hold it against you if you don't lol. but two months is a long time and there might be smaller details you missed or forgot about. and no, this is not a ploy to get my account interaction up (although if it does get my account interaction up, hehehe:) )
and who knows when chapter eleven is coming out? so by the time that rolls around, you might need to re-read again. this really is all part of my master plan huh?
i know that chapter eleven hasn't even been started yet, but i have a basic idea of how i want it to go. i'll try my hardest to get it finished before christmas. and when chapter eleven gets posted that'll be the final chapter.
kinda weird. this is the second-last chapter. only one chapter left.
probably.
there might be a lot of mistakes because i didn't give it a final read-through to check for stuff like that because i wanted to get this chapter out asap. i'll either do it later or i won't do it at all (sorry)
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anyway, pms are open if you ever wanna talk. all mistakes are mine, and i hope you all enjoyed :)