The Ticket Master
Apple-whack
Spike: (sorting through the basket of apples) No, nope, no, (tosses apples over his shoulder and hits Twilight Sparkle on the head)
Twilight: OW! Watch it, Spike!
Spike: Um… oops?
Director: Cut!
Say it don't spray it
Twilight: Oh Spike, that looks delicious!
Spike: [munches on apple and sprays juice into Twilights eye]
Twilight: AAAAAHHHH! IT BURNS!
Director: CUT! And can someone get the nurse?
Belch attack
Spike: What? [Burps up green fire, which sets Twilight's mane alight]
Twilight: [runs screaming] this scene's getting a little dangerous!
Director: Someone get the fire extinguisher!
CUT!
Spike: [clears throat and opens the scroll] OW! Papercut!
Director: CUT!
Spike: Please don't say cut!
Sweet Apple Mix Up
Applejack: We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old hip, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old plough.
Director: Cut! Try that again, Applejack. You got them the wrong way round.
Applejack: Darn it!
WonderDerp
Rainbow Dash: YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now.
Rainbow Dash [voiceover]: Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on The Wonderbolts, but then in would fly…
[Derpy flies in]
Rainbow: Rainbow-WHAT!
Director: Derpy, what're you doing on the set?
Derpy: [looks around] Oh…this isn't Sugarcube Corner. My bad.
Rainbow: [face hoofs]
Director: You know the drill: Cut!
(Credit to Inkwell)
Tongue Twister
Rainbow Dash: YES! This is so awesome. The Bunderwolts perform at the-
Director: Rainbow Dash, you said Wonderbolts wrong.
Applejack: Pfft. You can remember all their tricks, but you can't pronounce their name?
Rainbow: [folds hooves] Shut up, AJ.
(Credit to Inkwell and Screwball)
Get it right, Pinkie!
*Take 1
Pinkie Pie: Wait, these aren't... tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?! It's the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I've always always always wanted to go!
Pinkie (voiceover) I'd wheel my apple cart into the gala and ponies would come from miles around to try my tasty treats. And then, just when they think they've found the most delicious snacks in Equestria, I'd bring out: THE AMAZINGLY AWESOME ASTOUNDING APPLE CAKE! Or the AAAAC.
Director: ACK! This is painful to watch.
Pinkie: Then we'd all stuff ourselves with cake until we're too fat to move and then-
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, first off, that's my reason to go to the gala, and second, the AAAAC is the most ridiculous name for a cake ever.
Director: She's right, Pinkie. This isn't your line and there is no Amazingly Awesome Astounding Apple Cake.
Pinkie: Oh… okay then. Then I guess…
Applejack: Don't say it.
Pinkie: The cake was a lie!
Director: Just cut already!
*Take 2
Pinkie Pie [voiceover]: I'd fly in and wow the Wonderbolts with my awesome tricks and then after they ask me to be their newest member, Surprise and I would throw a huge party to celebrate and Soarin' and I would pig out on pie!
Rainbow: Hey! That's my reason!
Director: Pinkie, did you even read the script?
*Take 3
Pinkie Pie [voiceover]: I'd strut across the dance floor and everypony would stare in awe at my beautiful gown and then a handsome prince would sweep me off my hooves and then-
Rarity: HE'S MINE! [Rugby tackles Pinkie Pie to the ground].
Director: And that, Pinkie, is why you should read the script!
Pierre: I'll get the nurse again.
*Take 4
Pinkie Pie [voiceover]: And all the cute little animals would LOVE ME and maybe Princess Celestia would let me keep one of those cute little wallaroos and then I'd have someone to bounce with!
Director: [throws rolled up script at Pinkie and bonks her on the head] FOR GOD'S SAKE PINKIE, READ THE SCRIPT!
Blue Blooded Dragon
Rarity: The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him.
Pinkie Pie: Him! ...Who?
Rarity: Him. (voiceover) I would stroll through the Gala, and everyone would wonder, "Who is that mysterious mare?" They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the Princess would be so taken with my style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her- HUH?!
[Princess Celestia reveals not Blueblood, but Spike]
Director: Spike, we talked about this!
Spike: [blushing] Heh… sorry.
Flutterhype
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, I mean, if it would be all right, if you haven't given it to someone else-
Rarity: You? You want to go to the gala?
Fluttershy: [jumps into the air and flies in a somersault] HELL YEAH!
[Everyone stares at her and the Director forgets to say cut due to his surprise]
Fluttershy: [suddenly shy] Um…
[Pierre the Cameraman turns the camera off, grabs the clapper off the Director and snaps it signalling a cut]
Unwanted Silence
Twilight Sparkle: QUIIIIIEEEEET!
[Silence]
Director: Pinkie! You have a line!
Pinkie: But she said to be quiet!
Director: Well you aren't supposed to be quiet in the script.
Pinkie: You're meant to listen to what your friends want you to do.
Director: And you're also meant to do what the script says so you can get paid and we can film this episode so I don't get fired!
Pinkie: Yeesh, someone's a cranky-pants.
Director: [storms out] That's it, I'm getting some oatmeal!
Pinkie: Oatmeal! Are you crazy?!
Pierre: [stops recording] I got it, boss!
One Punch Coming Up
[Twilight and Spike at the café]
Twilight: Oh, who should go with me? [stomach rumbles]
Waiter: Have you made your decision?
Twilight: I CAN'T DECIDE! [throws out her hooves and punches the waiter in the face]
Waiter: [Holds his nose] OOOOWWW!
Twilight: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry sir.
Director: CUT! And get the nurse!
Twilight: At least it wasn't me this time.
[Derpy falls from the sky and crashes into Twilight]
Generous?
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?
Rainbow Dash: Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she-
Rarity: Excuse me, I believe I'm the most generous pony here!
Rainbow: But that's what it says in the script!
Director: Yes, that is what it says in the script and now you've botched it up. CUT!
Pierre: You've gotta admit, it's still messed up.
Zip It
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine. (tries to zip up the cloud) Um… the zipper's stuck!
Director: Ugh! Cut!
Drenched Downer
Rainbow: [Zips cloud closed]
Twilight: That's better. [Goes to take a bite of her sandwich, expecting it to rain, but nothing happens]
Twilight: Um…
Director: What's going on with the water?
Pierre: [Hitting a button on a remote] It's not working, sir!
Director: [Snatches it] Gimme that! [Punches the button]
[A huge amount of water cascades down right on top of Twilight]
Spike: [Falls out of his seat laughing]
Director: Oops.
This again?!
[Rarity is changing Twilight into an outfit behind a changing divider with construction sound effects playing]
Twilight: Ugh, Rarity, ow, this really isn't fixing it. I mean, thank you but, ooh, that's too tight.
[Sound effects stop]
Rarity: There. Oh you look simply- AARGH!
[Twilight is wearing a chicken costume]
Rarity: RAINBOW DASH!
Running Gag
Spike: [Makes the 'gross sign' with a claw]
Rarity: [Rushes up to him, forcing his arm in his mouth] And you-
[Spike begins choking]
Rarity: Oh dear, sorry Spikey. Um… a little help?
Director: CUUUUT!
Apple-Crack
Applejack [Listing the many snacks she has brought Twilight] I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumbles, aaaaand apple Brown Betty.
[Pause]
Applejack: Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?
Twilight: [stomach grumbles]
Applejack: Is that a yes?
Twilight: [Getting mad] No. NO!
Applejack: [Knocks the plate she's holding into the air and it lands on her head, cracking in two and knocking her to the floor]
Twilight: [gasp] Oh snap!
Rainbow: Don't you mean 'crack'?
Twilight: That's not funny, Rainbow!
Director: Cut. Nurse. You know the deal by now.
Not you, poo
Twilight: Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating. [Opens the door to the Golden Oak Library to see Fluttershy cleaning and singing along with a bunch of animals assisting her]
Twilight: [gasp] Fluttershy, not you- GAH!
[A blue jay hovering above Twilight suddenly… deposits some unpleasant stuff on Twilight's head]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Mordecai, I've already explained this to you- no pooping on ponies!
Director: CUT!
Twilight: Can I get a wet wipe please?
Angel Ramsay
Fluttershy: Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you.
Twilight: It's summer.
Fluttershy: Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea.
[Camera cuts to Angel stirring pasta in a bowl]
Fluttershy: Angel! We're meant to be making Twilight a salad, not this!
Angel: [Makes frustrated noises and throws his chef's hat on the floor, stomping on it before marching out the door, slamming it behind him]
[Everyone is quiet]
Director: Um… let's cut and get that bunny some anger management classes.
Dummies
[After being thrown in the air a fourth time]
Twilight: PIIIINKIIIIEEE!
[The background ponies back off and Twilight falls on her back]
Twilight: OOOOOHOOOHOOOOWWW!
Director: Cut! Twilight, you can't make any noises!
Twilight: WHAT?! How can I do that, that really hurts!
Director: This sounds like a 'You Problem'. Now Twilight, get back into the starting position.
Twilight: Can't we use a dummy instead?
Director: Like I said- Twilight, get back into the starting position.
Twilight: !GRRRRR!
(Credit to Inkwell)
Wrong Pony
[Twilight and Spike run away from the crowd of oncoming ponies]
Carrot Top: [Spots something and signals the other ponies to chase after it]
[The ponies catch up to the retreating unicorn and dragon… and run straight past her]
Twilight: Wha…?
[The camera pans to show that everypony is chasing after Derpy, who looks proud to have all the attention]
Director: Cut!
Submerged Spike
[Twilight and Spike are holding onto the underside of a bridge while hiding from their pursuers, when Spike falls in]
[Long pause]
Pierre: Why hasn't he resurfaced yet?
Director: GAH! SOMEONE GET HELP!
Cornered
[Trapped at a dead end, Twilight tries to teleport herself and Spike to safety with her magic]
!KRACKABOOM!
[The set has been blown apart, and ponies are lying all over the place]
[Twilight and Spike stand frozen in the centre of the destruction]
Spike: Um… what happened?
Twilight: Heh… my magic sometimes goes out of control when I get stage fright.
Director: You do realize this is coming out of your pay, right?
Twilight: [Whimpers]
Work on your aim, Spike
[Spike is gagging from trying to hurl up a letter]
Applejack: Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy? Can't handle the least bit of sentiment.
Spike: [Belches]
Applejack: Whoa Ne-YOW! [The letter hits her in the face]
Director: Spike, we've been over this. Aim higher!
Spike: Um… yes. Sorry sir.
Applejack: Can I get some ice?
And… new scene
Spike: [After all the ponies have left the library] How come I don't get a ticket to the Gala? [Suddenly he feels another letter coming on, but it won't come out] Someone help... I can't...!
Director: No… no, no, Spike! Don't aim at the ceiling! No, SPIKE! Don't burp or the set will expl-
BBBBUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPP!
!KRACKABOOM!
Director: ...Sometimes I really hate this job.
Pinkie Pie: [Pops up with the clapper] Aaaaaand CUT!
Endnote: Wow, I'm sorry this took such a long time to come out, but it's here and we've had some more bloopers. Same rules as always, feel free to send in your suggestions for bloopers in the reviews- next up is Applebuck Season and I'll try not to take so long this time. See ya next time. ;)