Three Weeks Later

"D'you have a best friend?"

Suzanne was slurring and Damon was no clearer when he threw his head backwards onto the arm rest of her couch and lamented, "No. I used to, but not anymore."

Suzanne shoved his feet off her lap and lurched up from her own position on the couch as she had what she was quite sure was an epiphany. She whirled around to face him and pointed to his face. With a voice just a touch too loud she said excitedly, "I've got it! I will be your new bestie, and you will be my new bestie. 'S perfect!"

Damon lifted his head and tilted it to the side, and the effect was comical as her half-deaf Dalmatian, Louie – who had been sleeping on the chair next to her couch – copied his action. Before she could laugh in amusement Damon's mouth dropped opened in drunken awe and he said, "We should drink more to celebrate. Booze is always the best, Suze."

Suzanne nodded vigorously and swayed to the kitchen, but not before hearing Damon snickering at his rhyme. Picking up a half drained bottle of vodka and a new bottle of bourbon, she returned to her living room. Damon had stood up and wandered to the stack of CDs she kept on her bookshelf and was rifling through them, finally picking out one whose cover art she couldn't make out. She held out the bottle of bourbon and he traded her for the CD.

Suzanne wandered to her side table and popped it into the stereo. A moment later she whooped when I Love Rock and Roll, one of her favorite songs, blared out. She quickly whirled her head to check on her dog, but saw the old guy had fallen asleep once more.

Without further prompting Suzanne kicked off her heels and tossed her bottle onto the couch as she began to dance in jerky, unattractive moves. Damon looked entirely too graceful when he joined in and Suzanne felt envious as she realized she must look even more uncoordinated in comparison. However before she could complain Damon grabbed her hands and started twirling her around. The moves didn't match the song at all but they were both too drunk to care.

When the song ended they simultaneously collapsed back onto the couch and immediately gripped their alcohol once more. Suzanne briefly pondered if they were alcoholics, but the thought left her head just as quickly when Damon started speaking.

"So what are your problems, Suze? I need to be a good BFF and it's your turn to bitch."

Suzanne squinted at the ceiling for a moment, feeling a bit more sober suddenly as she thought over his question. While thinking she reached to the side to pet her dog's head a few times - something that always calmed her down - trying to focus on the words she would use to answer.

"I don't know what I'm doing. In life. I mean, I heart my life and everything, but I think sometimes that I'm not going anywhere, you know?"

She turned to face the vampire next to her and he nodded along with her answer. Letting out a considering hum he met her eyes and said, "Well, I could turn you."

Suzanne questioned whether or not she would want to take him up on his offer but ultimately decided to pass on the idea.

"Don't want to hurt Louie by accident. Or my brother Scotty when he visits. Oh my god, you have to meet him – he'll hate you. But I like the sun, I get these freckles on my nose. They're funny."

"I can go in the sun."

Suzanne's eyes widened dramatically. They had only ever hung out at night since she nearly always worked during the day shifts, and it struck her that she had never actually seen him during the daytime.

"But you said vampires couldn't!"

Damon snorted, clearly making fun of her reaction, but answered without too much sarcasm, "I've got a magic ring from a witch."

"A witch? For real? Are there faeries and mermaids and leprechauns-"

Before she could so much as blink Damon used his vampire speed to place his hand over her mouth, immediately halting her rambling.

"Shut up, drunkie. Only vampires and witches. And clones, apparently."

Suzanne licked his palm and predictably he snatched his hand back. She pouted and folded her arms, utterly offended that he had told her to shut up.

"Aw, Suze, don't be mad."

She didn't have to focus to maintain her sad act, so Suzanne uncrossed her arms and reached out to grab Damon's hand. After playing with his ugly ring for a minute she said, "I don't have magic jewelry. So I'm going to stay human."

Damon groaned in exasperation and replied, "So boring. But alright, you'll be my little pet human." Without any warning he detangled his hand from hers and reached up to pat her cheeks mockingly.

Suzanne swatted his hand away but couldn't contain her laugh. She then repeated his gesture and cooed out half-seriously, "And you'll be my vampire best friend."

Nodding decisively, he seemed to accept the idea before turning to the TV on the wall.

"Can we watch something? I've been too busy doom and glooming to catch up on anything. Slaughtering the locals is much more time consuming than you'd think."

Completely deadpan she answered, "Ah, yes. Seems tiring, my heart bleeds for you. And I'm always in the mood to watch Buffy. We can point out inaccuracies."

And thus, Suzanne's night ended making fun of fake vampires with a real vampire.