Applebuck Season
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
Right in the Apples
Applejack: C'mon big brother! You need to rest up n' get yerself better. I haven't met an apple orchard yet that I can't handle. [She isn't looking as she goes to playfully punch Big Mac in the ribs and instead-]
Big Mac: GYAAAAH!
[Big Mac falls to the floor and curls into a fetal position as Applejack accidentally punches him in a place that ought not be punched]
Director: Ooh! Quick, cut and get him some help!
This Mistake Again?
Applejack: Are you sayin' my mouth is makin' promises my legs can't keep?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Why of all the... This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalest of friends and the most dependable of ponies?
Pierre the Cameraman: Sir, you did it again!
Director: Did what again?"
Pierre: Last time you called Twilight the most generous pony, and now you've called AJ the most loyal. If you're gonna keep switching up the elements like this people are gonna get confused!
Director: I DON'T WRITE THE SCRIPT!
Pinkie… Script… Please!
[The background ponies run around in panic as the stampeding cows shake the earth. In the midst of this, Pinkie Pie judders across the ground]
Pinkie: Thiiiiiiis muuuusst beeeee whaaat a jaaackhammmmer feeeellls liiikeee!
Director: Someone stop the cows!
Pinkie: Aww… why'd ya make it stop?
Director: Stick. To. The. Script!
Pinkie: …oh… whoopsie.
The Problem with Popcorn
[As Applejack and Winona corral the cattle, Rarity looks away from the scene while Pinkie Pie stand in between her and Twilight with a bag of popcorn]
Pinkie: This is the best rodeo show I've ever seen.
[Pinkie then dives face-first into the popcorn; however, not too long after she resurfaces, coughing, getting the rest of the ponies on-set to look in her direction. Pinkie plugs one nostril and snorts a piece of popcorn out the other one]
Twilight: Pinkie, are you alright?
Pinkie: Yeah… what can I say? I'm just not all that POP-ular today when it comes to getting my part right.
[The rest of the crew all groan at Pinkie's awful pun]
Not All Sweetness and Sunshine
Applejack: [whistles] Winona! Put 'em up!
[Winona hops on top of one of the stampeding cows backs' however a second later she slips and falls into the herd]
Applejack: CUT!
[A crunching sound followed by whimpering is heard and the cows stop running, all looking at one particular cow, who is staring down with horror]
Director: Great, that was our eighth Winona!
Pinkie Prankz
[Twilight and Spike walk over to Rarity, who is tying a red ribbon around a tree trunk]
Twilight: We all ready?
Rarity: Just one last thing.
[Rarity levitates a banner into the air and hangs it across the Town Hall railings' however instead of the intended apple theme is should have, it instead has a crudely drawn picture of Pinkie Pie wearing sunglasses, with the phrase 'Pinkie Pie Wuz Here' scrawled onto it]
Rarity: PINKIE!
Pinkie: Gotcha!
Director: Cut!
Shuffled
[Twilight walks up to the speaker's podium and levitates some cards over with her magic. She starts shuffling them but drops a few, growling in frustration]
Twilight: I'm just used to shuffling playing cards! That's all!
Director: Cut!
Dash Bash
Twilight: Welcome, everypony! Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great and small. [Takes next card] A pony whose contributions to-
[Rainbow Dash then zips over and slams a hoof downwards, intending to hit the cards, but instead hitting Twilight, who falls to the floor clutching her head]
Twilight: Owowowowow! Nurse please!
Director: Nurse! Again!
And the Best Pony is…
Mayor Mare: [Clears her throat]. And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!
[the crowd cheers and the curtains pull back]
Spike: Cool! Way to go Applejack that was awesome! I mean- DERPY?!
[Derpy is sitting on stage where the curtains parted, looking around]
Derpy: How did I get up here?
Director: Cut!
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
Those Crazy Mud-ponies
Applejack: I'm here. I'm here.
[Applejack trudges up to the stage with some apple baskets on her back. She has large bags under her eyes and looks absolutely exhausted. The entire crowd is looking at her with concern and confusion.]
Applejack: [yawn] [sigh] Sorry I'm late-whoa- I was just... whoa... Did I get your tail? [She makes it to the stage, shoving Mayor Mare away] Miss Mayor. Thank you kindly for this here... award thingy. [yawn] It's so bright and shiny and [she stares at her reflection in the trophy] heh, heh heh, I sure do look funny. [Applejack starts making funny faces in the surface of the trophy] Woo… woo…
[Pinkie Pie joins in, and the two earth ponies rock back and forth on their hooves while making the 'woooo' sounds]
Twilight: Okay… well thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede, and always being there for everypony.
[Applejack stops 'woo-wooing', but Pinkie Pie continues]
Twilight: Um… Pinkie?
Pinkie: Woo! Woo!
Twilight: Pinkie, you can stop now.
Pinkie: Woo! Woo!
Director: Oh boy…
Sleeping Pills: Good or bad?
Applejack: [yawn] Yeah. I like helping the pony folk and… [yawn] and stuff.
[Applejack falls asleep, and slowly tips forward. Finally she topples over onto her face, making Twilight cringe]
Twilight: Um… were these drowsy pills the best idea?
Director: If we want the audience to believe she's tired, then YES!
This Will End in tears
[Applejack kicks out blindly with her back hooves and ends up collapsing to the floor with a thud]
Twilight: [From offset] I really don't think this is gonna work…
[We hear the sound of Applejack falling over again from off-camera]
She Almost Exploded my Head with Science
[Applejack walks away from Twilight, so she uses her teleportation magic to zap herself in front of her earth pony friend]
Twilight: Applewhat Season?
Applejack: It's what the Apple family calls harvestin' time…
[Applejack walks off again so Twilight teleports to catch up to her]
Applejack: …we harvest all the apples from the trees so we can sell 'em.
Twilight: But why are you doing it all alone?
Applejack: 'Cause Big Macintosh hurt himself.
[Twilight teleports in front of her again right in front of the earth pony so their noses are pressed together and Applejack leaps back in surprise]
Applejack: for the love of apple dumplin's Twilight! Ya can't just teleport in front o' me like that! Do you even know what happens if a unicorn teleports into somepony's head?
Twilight: Well… yes… scientific tests have shown that if a pony teleports in the same place as another's head it will… explode.
Applejack: That's it; can I get a stunt double?
Director: No. Cut.
Dumb Dummy
[Applejack is standing at the top of the platform staring down at Rainbow Dash on the seesaw]
Applejack: Oh my.
Rainbow Dash: Ready? One... two... THREE!
['Applejack' jumps off and lands front ways on the ground; however after hitting, her head flies off]
Rainbow Dash: GAH! APPLEJACK!
Pierre: Dash! Calm down; it's just a dummy!
Rainbow Dash: Phew! Ya could've told me before!
Director: [To Pierre] You're the dummy for getting such a cheap life-sized pony doll.
Pierre: Did you even hear the sentence you just said?
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
When a Rainbow Hits an Apple
Applejack: I have an idea.
[Applejack reaches up and pulls the raised end of the seesaw down so that Rainbow's end rises up. However, Dash forgets to balance herself and tips forward, tumbling down the seesaw and crashing into Applejack, sending the two toppling off-set and into an unsuspecting crew member]
Crew Member Pony: [From underneath Applejack and Rainbow Dash] Hey! Nopony falls on The Great and Powerful Head of Special Effects Trixie and gets away with it!
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Hmm… that pony looks like she has potential.
Overshot
Take 1
[Twilight is sitting on her balcony reading a book. She looks up as she hears somepony screaming, just in time for Rainbow Dash to hurtle straight into her, sending both of them crashing into a wall]
Director: Okay we launched Dash too high. Let's do it again!
Twilight and Rainbow Dash: Oh no…
Take 2
[Twilight is reading her book and looks up as she hears screaming, she looks higher and higher as Rainbow Dash shoots clean over the set, still screaming. Eventually a loud crash is heard along with a Wilhelm Scream as Dash hits the ground]
Director: A LOT lower, okay?
Take 3
[Twilight reads her book, trying not to let the worry for the stunt show on her face. She hears Rainbow Dash screaming and looks up, but only hears a crash followed by the balcony shaking as Dash crashes into the library. She peers over the railings, seeing that Rainbow is half embedded in the wall]
Director: Pierre…
Pierre: [Sigh] I'll pay for damage.
The Importance of Lids
Applejack: Nothin' doin', Twilight. I'm gonna prove to you, t'everypony, that I can do this on my own. [Applejack walks into the tree branch she hit her head on earlier and yelps] Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go help Pinkie Pie. [As she limply walks, she leans too far to the right and topples over, the basket she's wearing on her left side emptying its contents all over her]
Twilight: [Stifling laughter] I, uh… think we should get some baskets with lids.
Director: Cut!
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
The Great Drowsy Bake-Off
Take 1
Pinkie: [Reading from a recipe book] All right-y! I'll get the sugar and the eggs. Can you get me some chocolate chips?
[Applejack has fallen asleep on the counter. However she misses her cue to get up and say her line and keeps on sleeping]
Pinkie Pie: [Pokes Applejack's head] Awww! She's so cute when she's asleep!
Director: Pierre, don't tell Twilight I said this 'cause she'll never let me live it down, but I'm beginning to think she was right about the pill thing.
Pierre: Hey, at least you're taking an artistic approach, sir.
Director: Yeah whatever. Say, speaking of pills can you get me mine?
Pierre: They're on the table next to you.
[The Director reaches for the box of pills and takes one; however he grabs Applejack's drowsy pills instead of his own stress pills. He notices Pierre looking at him oddly and raises a brow]
Director: What?
Pierre: Um, you… er, nothing…
Take 2
Applejack: [After tipping the chips into the mixing bowl] What's next?
Pinkie Pie: [In slow motion] Baking soda.
Applejack: Soda. Perfect! That'll get those tater chips nice n' wet. [She grabs a bottle of soda from the refrigerator and begins pouring it into the bowl, however as she pours she falls asleep, and the soda starts spilling onto the table top.
Pierre: Um, sir. Should we step in?
Director: Hey look at me [He is wearing his megaphone on his head] I'm wearing a party hat.
Pierre: Er…
Take 3
Applejack: One cup o' sour comin' up. [Goes to pour lemon juice into the bowl, but when she does some of the juice splashes up into her eye] ACK! Oh holy cinnamon sticks it BURNS!
Pinkie: AH! Applejack, don't die on me!
Director: I can touch my nose with my tongue.
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
(Featuring Cougar/Ivan from Fallen Eagle)
A Special Appearance
[Applejack is pushing a cart of apples backwards towards a bucket placed between two small hills, however it tips backwards, leaving her suspended in mid-air upside down. She goes to sleep anyway. Then-]
Ivan: Strap! The strap isn't-
[The strap on the cart snaps, and Applejack falls down, bouncing off the cart and then onto her front on the grass with an 'oof']
Pierre: [Grabs the Director's megaphone] CUUUUUUUTTTT!
Ivan: [rushes over] Oh God, are you okay?
Applejack: [The fall has made the drowsy effects of the pill wear off] Huh? Oh, my leg's a throbbin'.
Ivan: Come on; let's get you to the set doctor. [He picks her up gently] I'm sorry, I tested out the strap myself; I don't know what went wrong.
Applejack: Aw, accidents happen, Sugarcube. [She clings to him a little tighter] Ah feel much better now, any- YOWCH!
Ivan: Much better, huh?
Pinkie: Hey! Applejack falling in love wasn't in the script!
Trampled Lily
[The stampeding bunnies hop through the town, sending the background ponies scampering for cover. One pony, Lily Valley, outright faints in the middle of the road, however instead of hopping around her, the bunnies jump right on top of her and then over her.
Pierre: Cut! Someone cut!
Director: I can hear colours!
Lily Valley: [stands up] I'm okay everypony. It doesn't actually hurt when they jump on you like that; it's like being trampled by cotton candy… only less sticky.
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
Pink Surprises
Rainbow Dash: Phew! That applebucking sure made me hungry.
Spike: And I've got the perfect treat. [He is holding a plate of those gross muffins that Pinkie and Applejack made]
Pinkie Pie: Eeew, Spike, I threw those all away. Where'd you get them?
Spike: From the trash.
Mane Six: [in unison] EWWWW!
Spike: Just a little nibble? Come on.
[The Mane Six start walking towards the setting sun with Spike still in tow, all six of them muttering their disgust at the dragon's idea for snacks]
Pierre: And we've got it!
Director: I can feel the earth moving…
Pinkie: Woo! Woo!
[From behind him, Pierre can hear Pinkie Pie, who is still making faces into the trophy's reflection. It turns out that she hasn't stopped doing that throughout the entirety of production. Pierre calls out to 'Pinkie Pie' who is congratulating the other ponies on a job well done on set]
Pierre: Thanks for filling in for Pinkie, Surprise!
[Surprise wipes some of the pink fur paint off her face revealing it to be white]
Surprise: No prob, Bob. Always happy to step in.
Pierre: [Looks at the Director] Well, that's another episode wrapped up and ready for editing.
Director: [Looking straight up] Have you ever noticed that if you look super closely at reality you can see the pixels?
[Pierre sighs and picks up a spare camera, swinging it a couple of times and aiming at his target]
Pierre: Sir, I'm so sorry about this.
Director: Wha-
[He is then hit roughly in the head and falls to the floor]
Endnote
And another one down! Well, I hope you had a laugh while reading this and thanks to everyone who sent in requests.
Next up is Griffon the Brush-Off, so don't forget to send in any ideas.
Also, how do you guys like the new cover. It seemed fitting since for some reason I love to make Twilight the victim of a lot of the accidents. Heh...