Before I start this I want to address one of my readers directly. No. 1 Luna Fan, first of all, thank you for all your reviews. But I want to inform you to look at the order the chapters are going in. I'm going from episode one and then working my way along the series, so I won't be doing Luna Eclipsed for a while. I see no point in threatening to stop reading something because I literally can't add your bloopers yet. And for the record, my blooper story was here first.
That aside… this chapter was the hardest one yet. This is because this is the first episode I've written for that I dislike. It was hard to come up with bloopers that weren't just me voicing my problems with the episode. Aside from that stuff there wasn't much good stuff for me to work with. In all honesty, the only thing I like about this episode is Trixie. I could rant about this episode for hours but we have bloopers to get to so… proceed. And thanks to everyone who sent in ideas.
Boast Busters
Moustache Mayhem
Spike: C'mon Twilight, you can do it!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here goes.
[Twilight uses her magic to make a moustache appear on Spike's face]
Spike: Haha! Ya did… what the…?
[Spike's new facial hair suddenly starts growing longer and longer]
Spike: Uh… Twilight, I could use some help! [starts freaking out as the moustache begins to pool at his feet in a big hairy pile.]
Twilight: Oh crud.
Director: Don't just stand there, Twilight! Fix it!
Unlucky Break
Spike: [standing in front of a mirror] …and I think this is your best trick so far!
[Out of nowhere, something pings against the mirror, causing it to crack]
Spike: Gyah! What the- who shot this pebble? [picks up a little stone]
Director: Yeah, who did that?
[Nopony admits to doing it… and then laughter is heard from the Director's side]
Director: Pierre, what's so funny?
Pierre: [holds up slingshot] Sorry, I couldn't resist. Haha… Christ, it was great.
Director: Hmm… well the joke's on you. Breaking a mirror is bad luck.
Pierre: Pft. That's a load of crap.
Director: Really? Well that mirror's coming out of your pay check.
Pierre: …damnit.
Spike, Camera, Action
Snails: [running along with Snips] Gangway! Comin' through!
[Spike fails to get out of their way and is picked up by Snips]
Spike: Augh! Snips, Snails! What's goin' on?
Snails: Wha, haven't you heard?
[The colts skid to a halt and Spike flies off of Snips, right towards Pierre]
Spike: WHOAAAAA!
Pierre: HOLY SH-
[Spike slams right into the cameraman's face and knocks him to the floor]
Director: … [ slowly reaches over and switches the camera off]
Main Character Rights
[Trixie is making her introductory speech, when Spike and Twilight start shoving through to the front of the line]
Spike: [Pushes Minuette to the side rather forcefully]
Minuette: HEY! Also, can we cut for a second?
Director: We were going to anyway, but sure.
Minuette: Why do we have to move aside to let Twilight get to the front of the crowd? She's not a Princess yet so what right does she have?
Director: First, spoilers, and second, she's the main character. So deal with it.
Minuette: But it's still-
Director: Shut up!
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
Smoke and Fire
Take 1
Trixie: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful TRIXIE!
[In a poof of smoke, Trixie appears on stage… and promptly starts to choke]
Trixie: [Coughing] I… I think that [coughs some more] I need to hold my breath for that part.
Pinkie: [To the camera] And that is why smoking is a big no-no, kids.
Take 2
[Trixie appears on stage in a puff of smoke, remembering to hold her breath this time]
Audience: [Stares at Trixie in horror]
Trixie: [Scans the audience] What? Did holding my breath make my entrance look silly?
Director: Trixie! Don't freak out! You're on fire!
Trixie: Wha… [looks down at the end of her cape, which has been set on fire] HOLY CELESTIA SOMEPONY GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
Featuring his OC Casey!
The Return of Casey
Trixie: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful TRIXIE!
[In a poof of smoke, Trixie appears on stage and-]
Casey: [Doing an impression of Cartman from South Park] Boo Trixie! Boo Trixie Lulamoon!
Fluttershy: [Chuckles]
Rainbow Dash: [Rolls eyes]
Director: What the- I THOUGHT WE BANNED YOU FROM COMING ONTO THE SET YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK!
(Credit to W D Gaster)
Poke-blew it
Rainbow Dash: So, "Great and Powerful Trixie". What makes you think you're so awesome anyway?
Trixie: Heh, why only the Great and Powerful Trixie had magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursaring Major!
[Magical explosions begin to happen]
Director: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the heck did you say?
Trixie: What? [realises what she said] Ooooh! Hehe… sorry sir; I was playing Pokémon Alpha Sapphire before I came on.
Pinkie: [GASPS] Oh my gosh, we have to battle together sometime!
(Credit to Viper's Little Devil)
Promotion Motion
Take 1
Trixie: Why only the Great and Powerful Trixie had magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!
[Magic shoots into the air, exploding in a burst of colour and forming the shape of a cartoonish… five legged pony.]
Trixie: Uhhh…
Director: [facepalm] Sweetie Belle, oh my God! I know I said you could be in charge of special effects while Trixie was acting, but you could at least hit the right buttons!
Sweetie Belle: Hehe… [hops off the effects board] sorry, I'm still getting used to this.
Take 2
Trixie: Why only the Great and Powerful Trixie had magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!
[Magic shoots into the air, exploding in a burst of colour and forming the shape of a cartoonish… trollface?]
Director: Oh God, don't tell me he's here.
Pierre: Okay then, I won't.
Director: Ugh. [Yells in the direction of the sound board] Discord, stop screwing with the effects! And where's Sweetie Belle?!
Discord: Oh, she paid me a packet of animal crackers to do her job while she went to the little filly's room. [Takes the bag of crackers, eats the bag and tosses the crackers away]
Director: Okay, you need to leave! You already got your first strike when you got Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie crushed by a set piece last week when you rolled onto the set on top of a giant Awesome Face!
Location, Location, Location
Trixie: [Explaining the story of the Ursa Major to her audience] When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to. But the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!
Twilight: Whoa, hold it!
Director: CUT! What is it now?
Twilight: Isn't Hoofington miles away from Ponyville? Did it just march across Equestria to get to the Everfree forest? That would have been mayhem!
Director: Hey Twilight, lemme tell ya something. [yells through his megaphone] TRIXIE'S STORY IS FAKE! SHE'S DUMB! SHE WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE HOOFINGTON IS!
Trixie: Hey! I take offence to that you oaf!
Director: Trixie, ever heard the phrase "Don't insult the guy who could fire you?"
Boopers
[Applejack performs her complicated lasso routine in front of Trixie and the audience and finishes it off by lassoing an apple in a distant tree. She tries to catch it in her mouth but instead it hits her right on the nose]
Applejack: YOW!
Crowd: [Cringe] Ow…
Director: AJ, you okay?
Applejack: [with a hoof over her nose] I think I'm bleedin'…
Nurse Nancy: Okay, don't get blood on the set, I'm coming!
Waste of a Good Apple
[Applejack has her rope tied around her legs and an apple shoved in her mouth; she is trying to hop off the stage]
Trixie: Once again, the Great and Powerful-
[Applejack trips and lands on her face, the apple in her mouth splattering all over the stage]
Applejack: [muffled] OoooOooowwWww…
Nancy: What did I just say about getting stuff on the stage?
Carl the Cleaner: I don't see what you're complaining about. I'm the one who has to clean up the damn stuff.
Tying the Knot
Trixie: [Ties Applejack up in her rope; however when she lifts the earth pony into the air, the rope unties itself and AJ lands on her back]
Applejack: OOF! What the- ow!
Trixie: Ooh… are you alright?
Director: Trixie, can you not tie a not.
Pierre: Pft. No, she cannot knot.
Rainbow: Heh. "Not Knot"
Pinkie: Who's there?
Rainbow: No, Pinkie-
Pinkie: "No, Pinkie" Who?
Rainbow: [Facehoof]
Trixie: Excuse me, that rope was just cheap! I can knot.
Pierre: See, she cannot!
Trixie: Ugh! [Blasts Pierre with her magic]
Pierre: ACK! [Falls backwards]
Director: [smirking] Regretting breaking that mirror yet?
Pierre: [Making an obscene gesture] Screw you.
The Big Guys
[Rainbow Dash has just finished her flying routine and is standing on stage with a shimmering rainbow shining above her]
Rainbow: They don't call me "Rainbow" and "Dash" for noth… okay, this line is lame. Somepony agree.
Other ponies: [Hum in agreement]
Director: Dash, it does suck but I don't write the script. I get you guys to do the stuff the script says so that the people who write the script don't fire me. Get it?
Rainbow: Pfft. Someone's self-centred.
I know it's in the script, but…
Rainbow: WHOAAA!
[Trixie spins Rainbow Dash around in her own rainbow, twirling her off the stage and into the middle of the road. She finally lets the spinning stop and Rainbow Dash in left sprawled on the ground, her eyes rolling around in their sockets.]
Rainbow: I think I'm… gonna be…
[Much to everyone's disgust, Rainbow Dash barfs all over the road]
Director: CUT! Quick, cut so we don't have to watch!
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
Hair-e-raising Magic
Trixie: [Zaps Rarity with her magic]
Rarity: Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!
Audience: [Blank stare]
Rarity: SAY IT! I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH!
Trixie: …whoops…
Spike: Um… Rarity…
Applejack: [whispering to Twilight] You tell her.
Twilight: Why?
Applejack: You're the main character. You were made to move the plot along.
Rainbow: Ugh, this is hard to look at. Rarity you're… bald…
Rarity: [Feels the top of her hairless head and starts trembling, a mental breakdown coming on]
Director: Pierre, cut! QUICK!
Butts n' Stuff
[Trixie is brushing her hair in front of the mirror beside her wagon, when Snips thrusts a smoothie balanced on his butt towards her]
Snips: Here's your smoothie you asked- ooh…
Trixie: [glares down at the colt with smoothie splattered all over her face]
Snips: Heh… oops?
Director: Cut!
Snails: [Licks some of the smoothie off Trixie's cheek, making the unicorn gag and cringe]
(Credit to AkaiKamiRyu)
The Corpse is Dead
Take 1
[Snips and Snails back away from Trixie, still bowing down to her]
Spike: [Standing behind them and looking cross] What are you two doing?
Snips: Just bringing the P and GT.
Director: CUT!
Snips: Aw man, did I screw up the letters again?
Snails: No.
Literally everyone else on the set: YES!
Take 2
Snips: Just bringing the T and PG
Director: Cut!
Take 3
Snips: …the G and TP
Director: Cut!
Take 4
Snips: The A and BC
Take 5
Snips: The 1 and 23
Director: MAKE IT STOP!
(Still AkaiNamiRyu ^u^)
Life's Ultimate Question
Take 1
Spike: Unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I'm not gonna believe a word she says! And neither should you!
Snips: Hmm… an Ursa walking up the street, eh? Snails, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Snails: Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Director: That's not the line!
Pierre: It was still a good question. I wonder the same thing about the word "monosyllabic" sometimes.
Director: [rolls eyes]
Pierre: What? It's the most ironic word ever!
Take 2
Snips: Snails, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Snails: Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Take 3
Snails: Why is it called a hamburger if there isn't any ham in it?
Spike: Um… I thought ponies were vegetarians.
Snips: [Taking a few scared steps back] We are…
Hinge-worthy
[Spike is standing in the door that Twilight zapped into the middle of the library with her magic]
Spike: [sighs] Well if that's the way you wanna be, then fine!
[Spike slams the door, however he pulls it too hard and the door just swings open again]
Spike: [Facepalm] Dang it.
Director: Cut.
Trips and Fails
[Snips and Snails are wandering through the darkness of the Everfree Forest]
Snips: Whoa! How are we gonna find an Ursa Major when I can't see my own- OOF!
[Snips trips and lands on his front, and Snails trips over his friend, rolling away into some bushes]
Director: Aw crap, are you kids hurt?
Snails: I swallowed a pinecone!
(Credit to Maggot Man and W D Gaster (I mixed things up a little))
A Major Issue
Snips: [After some struggling, he manages to get his horn to light up, illuminating the two colts' surroundings]
Snips: Oh. That's better.
[The colts suddenly become aware of something behind them, and they turn around, coming face to face with a giant shimmering purple muzzle and deadly-looking fangs]
Director: That's the Ursa Major! WHO PUT THAT ON SET?!
Crew: [Runs for their lives]
?: Everypony QUIET!
Everyone: [Stops and stares at the Ursa Major]
Fluttershy: There, there. [strokes the Ursa's nose] You just don't like the bright lights, do you? It's okay now, I'll take you back to your cave. [nuzzles it's large fuzzy cheek]
Pierre: Dang, Fluttershy's good.
(Credit to W D Gaster and Maggot Man)
Spell Screw-up
[Twilight steps toward the Ursa and gulps. She focuses her magic through her horn, trying not to think about the fact that there's a 20% chance this animal wasn't tame and-]
!BLAM!
[Everypony gasps as a blast of magenta magic fires from Twilight's horn, sending the monster flying across town. It lets out a fierce roar and crashes to the ground]
[Silence]
Rainbow Dash: Is it… dead?
Pierre: Whew. Now we won't have to worry about that thing taking a dump on the set.
[Someone taps Pierre on the shoulder]
Pierre: What is it? [he turns to the side to see an angry looking Fluttershy] Oh shi-
!POW!
(Credit to W D Gaster)
Celly Steals the Spotlight
[Twilight begins casting a spell to get rid of the Ursa, when suddenly… a glowing gold aura surrounds the monster and lifts it into the air. The crew, actors, and the Ursa, are baffled by this development]
Pierre: [with a black eye and busted nose] What the…
Director: [looks up] Celestia, get out of here!
[Princess Celestia is hovering above the set, using her magic to lift the Ursa]
Celestia: [Groan] But I never do anything useful!
Director: That's because you aren't a main character!
Celestia: But… but I have a crown!
Director: It's a plastic prop from the costume department! Now shove off!
(Credit to Maggot Man (I changed it a teeny bit))
Ursa Season
[Twilight is about to cast her magic to get the Ursa the hell out of town when suddenly-]
!BOOM!
[A gunshot rings out and the Ursa falls to the group, roaring in agony, making everyone cover their ears]
Director: WHO HAS A GUN?! AND WHY WERE THEY ALLOWED IN HERE?!
Pierre: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Pinkie: Hey, you! Stop right now!
Elmer Fudd: [yells at everyone whilst walking out of the studio] That pesky monster was intewwupting my scene! If you howrses can't shut it up, I'll shoot it up! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to film a chase montage with a wabbit.
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
Feeling Pierre Keen
Applejack: Heavens to Betsy! We knew ya had alibi-abilibi…aw shoot!
Director: Are you kidding me? Twilight managed to do her entire spell casting scene in one take, and you can't say the word 'ability'?
Pierre: Heh. She has an inability to say 'ability'.
[A horseshoe is thrown at Pierre and it hits him in the forehead]
Pierre: AW MOTHER- wait. [Picks horseshoe up] Aren't these things meant to be lucky? Maybe now my bad luck will go away? [Sighs] I can't believe I just accepted something was real just because I got the shit beaten out of me enough times.
Director: Ooh! That could make for a good episode!
Endnote: And that was Boast Busters- the hardest chapter to write so far! Next we have Dragonshy, and if you have a blooper you want to see in the chapter don't be shy to send one in. I don't bite. ^u^