Call of the Cutie
Pierre's Back, Babies!
[After the establishing shot of the school and the classroom, Pierre has to zoom in on a few of the students' Cutie Marks. However, when he tries to pan over to Miss Cheerilee, he trips and tumbles to the ground.]
Director: Cut! You idiot!
Pierre: [Getting up from the floor] I've kinda missed this…
Rainbow Dash: [from the sidelines] Pierre is the Director's submissive! I knew it!
Director: GO AWAY!
Vandalism
Cheerilee: Today we are going to be talking about Cutie Marks… [she rips a piece of paper from the stack placed on an easel, revealing the piece underneath.
Cheerilee: Oh!
[The paper meant to have a collection of Cutie Mark examples has been replaced by a drawing of Diamond Tiara with a caption reading "I Sniff Butts"]
Diamond Tiara: Hey! Who did this?!
[Everyone looks around at one another, but no one owns up to the prank]
Cheerilee: Um… shall we cut?
Director: Good idea.
Seriously Though I Genuinely Think Twist Is Fine- Why Was She Not In More Episodes?
Cheerilee: Now, can anyone tell me when a pony gets their Cutie Mark?
Twist: [raises her hoof] Ooh! Ooh! When they discover that certain something- WHOAH! [As she speaks, she spastically moves around in her seat and ends up falling off it]
[Everyone laughs]
Director: Cut!
Twist: I slammed my shoulder into the ground...
(Credit to Brandon Vortex)
Class is Boring, Even in a Studio
[Whilst Cheerilee is talking, Diamond Tiara leans over to Apple Bloom's desk] Psssst. [When Apple Bloom doesn't answer her, she tries again] pssssssssst! [There is still no response]
[Apple Bloom is fast asleep at her desk]
Director: Cut! [Yells through megaphone] Apple Bloom, wake up!
Apple Bloom: [groggily lifts her head] Huh?
Director: You should have slept longer last night, Bloom; as an actress, you need to take this seriously- you don't get off the hook just because you're young.
Apple Bloom: [sits up] Oh! I'm not tired! This scene just reminds me of being in my real school's math class.
Diamond Tiara is My Chosen Torture Victim
[Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon circle around Apple Bloom and Twist]
Diamond: Don't worry you two, you're still totally invited to my cute-ceañera this weekend.
Silver Spoon: It's going to be amazing.
Diamond: It's a party celebrating me and my fantastic cutie mark. How could it not be?
[The two fillies begin to do their secret hoofshake]
Diamond and Silver: ~Bump! Bump! Sugar-lump- WAH! [As they go to bump butts, the two fillies miss and end up flopping down on the ground]
Director: CUT!
Bucket Tipping
Apple Bloom: I really don't see how that's supposed to make me feel better. It probably means that being the last one in your class to get a cutie mark runs- DANG!
[Apple Bloom leans on a bucket of apples but accidentally tips them over and makes the fruit roll all over the place]
Applejack: Aw, gosh darnit!
Director: CUT!
Sibling Slam
[As she talks, Apple Bloom moves very spastically]
Apple Bloom: You've got apples for your cutie mark, Granny Smith has an apple pie, Big Macintosh has an-
[Apple Bloom headbutts Applejack, making both of them cry out in agony]
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Is it just me or are these mistakes getting really boring?
Director: Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want them to monumentally mess up every time?
Pierre: Do you want an honest answer or a lie?
Director: …a lie.
Pierre: Of course not.
Director: Good. Now cut already!
Deadly Apples
Applejack: Get your delicious, nutritious apples here!
Apple Bloom: Delicious and nutritious, and so many uses! [she eats an apple whole] You can eat 'em, play with 'em. [she hits an apple with a tennis racquet, flinging it who-knows-where]
Background Pony: Hey! Watch it!
[Apple Bloom picks up another apple]
Apple Bloom: Create fine art for your home with 'em! [She bucks them at a nearby artist, but instead of it splattering all over his canvas, it hits him square in the face, knocking him over]
Everyone: [flinches]
Director: Cut! Hey Nancy, we haven't called you in a while, so...
Nurse Nancy: He was hit by an apple. It's not like he needs antibiotics.
Director: You just don't give a damn anymore, do you?
Nancy: Not in the slightest.
Bow Out
Apple Bloom: [After splattering the painter] You have to be crazy not to get a bushel of your very own!
[Applejack reaches out and grabs hold of her sister's bow, trying to pull her out of the shot, but instead, she just rips the bow out of Apple Bloom's hair]
Applejack: [sighs] Of course that happened!
Director: Cut! Apple Bloom, secure your bow tighter in your hair.
Apple Bloom: Won't that hurt?
Director: Pierre, cut!
Apple Bloom: WILL IT HURT OR NOT?!
There Are A Lot of Spilled Apples Today
Apple Bloom: [Moves towards Dr. Whooves, forcing the stallion to back away] You're pretty sure, but you're not absolutely positively completely super-duper sure, are you?
[Dr. Whooves backs into the cart of apples by mistake, causing them all to fall to the ground]
Director: CUT! Do you people realize how expensive it is to buy so many apples?
Apple Bloom: Is it really that expensive?
Director: Let me borrow money from your cheque and you'll find out.
Apple Bloom: Ya know what? Don't tell me...
Dizzy Bloom
[Apple Bloom spins around, trying to get a look at her flank]
Apple Bloom: So, what does my cutie mark look like? A shoppin' bag full of apples? A satisfied customer eating an apple- EEK! [Apple Bloom falls on the floor]
Director: Cut! Apple Bloom try harder to keep your balance, okay?
Apple Bloom: [Getting up] Okay. I think I can do it.
Pierre: Sir, is it just me or are we having fairly mundane problems today…?
Director: It can't stay that way for long. Trust me.
Bon Bon Back Break
Applejack: [After Apple Bloom has poured a bucket of apples into Bon Bon's bag] I am really really sorry about that. She's new. Here, take these. No charge. [she pours even more apples into Bon Bon's other bag]
Bon Bon: [keeps glaring at her]
Applejack: ...and these! [she dumps more apples into the bag]
Bon Bon: [keeps on glaring]
Applejack: [grabs another bucket of apples] And… these…
[She shoves the bucket onto Bon Bon's back, which causes her to completely collapse under the weight]
Applejack: Aw shoot! I'm so sorry!
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Nancy, can you do something now?
Nancy: Hmm…
Bon Bon: [winces in pain]
Nancy: ... [sighs] Fine.
(Credit to Maelstrom)
Faceplant Blues
Rainbow Dash: [Dangles out of a storm cloud] Whoa! Looks like somepony's got a dark cloud hanging over her head!
[Before the scene can go on, the storm cloud electrocutes Rainbow Dash and sends her crashing to the ground]
Director: CUT! CUT! CUT!
Rainbow: [ Lifting her head from the ground] Heh… sorry guys. Storm clouds are harder to control than you think.
(Credit to Captain Alaska)
Shock and Ow
Rainbow: Looks like somepony's got a dark cloud hanging over her head!
[Camera pans out to reveal the large storm cloud that Dash is dangling out of]
Rainbow: Let me do something 'bout that. [Rainbow headbutts the cloud away, but forgets to look at where she's shoved it]
Pierre: [tries to get away as the cloud heads his way] Oh God no-
[ZAP!]
Director: CUT! Pierre, are you alive?!
Rainbow: Gah! I'm so sorry! Please don't fire me!
Pierre: I can taste colors now...
Tongue Twister
Take 1
Apple Bloom: [inhales] There's a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their- pfft, pfffffft [she gets tongue-tied]
Director: Cut! Don't worry, Apple Bloom. This is a really hard line, so try again.
Take 2
Apple Bloom: There's a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I wanna get my cutie mark but I'm no good at pffffffffffffff-
Director: Cut! Try again!
Take 3
Apple Bloom: There's a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I wanna get my cutie mark but I'm no good at sellin' apples but I really wanna go to the party but how can I…
Director: What's wrong…?
Apple Bloom: I forgot the rest of the rant!
Director: Never mind. Try one more time.
Press-ups Are Hard Guys, Be Careful!
[Apple Bloom, wearing a sweatband, is doing press-ups while Rainbow Dash observes]
Rainbow: That's right! Stretch out those legs! Gotta be nice and… uh, Apple Bloom? Are you okay?
Apple Bloom: [collapses to the floor] It hurts… so much…
Director: Keep those thoughts to yourself, people! Now let's do this again! CUT!
[A single tear rolls down Apple Bloom's cheek]
(Credits to Maelstrom)
Montage Mistake Montage
Take 1
Rainbow: Juggling! Go! [blows whistle]
Apple Bloom: [Starts juggling six balls, but fumbles and they end up bouncing all over the place. One of the balls hits Rainbow Dash right in the nose]
Rainbow: YOW!
Director: Cut.
Take 2
Rainbow: Hang-gliding! Go! [blows whistle]
Apple Bloom: [charges towards the edge of a cliff with a glider strapped to her back. But as she gallops she trips and ends up skidding towards the cliff's edge instead. She was intended to stop by the edge but instead plummets right off it]
Rainbow: GAH! [swiftly catches Apple Bloom as she falls off] Holy horseapples, are you okay!
Apple Bloom: Haha! Rainbow Dash, there's no need to worry! It's only a two-foot drop to the floor!
Rainbow: [Glances down, seeing that Apple Bloom is right] Oh! Hehe [She puts Apple Bloom down] Sorry. I kinda got caught up in the moment there…
Director: Cut!
Take 3
Rainbow: Karate! Go! [blows whistle]
Apple Bloom: [Launches herself across the room in a flying kick pose] Hiiiiiiii-ya!
[Instead of slamming into the punching bag like was intended, she misses it entirely and tumbles off the set]
Director: Cut!
Applejack: Apple Bloom, are you alright?!
Apple Bloom: I'm fine! This hurts a lot less than I thought it would!
Applejack: Ah, that's… good?
Take 4
Rainbow: Kite-flying! Go! [blows whistle]
[Apple Bloom starts running with her kite. At first she flies it smoothly, but soon, it starts to tip out of balance and it plummets from the sky… right towards Pierre's camera]
Pierre: Oh my God, it's gonna-
[SLAM]
[Footage cuts out]
Take 5
Rainbow: Ultra pony roller derby! Go! [blows whistle]
[Apple Bloom skates around the track, followed by three menacing skater fillies. Suddenly she slips and tumbles to the floor, and unable to avoid the yellow filly, the other skaters crash into her, falling into a heap]
[Long pause]
Director: [through megaphone] Apple Bloom, this is the part where you exit the pile-up unscathed!
[A single yellow hoof pokes out from the bottom of the pile]
Apple Bloom: Well I'm feeling pretty darn scathed right now, sir!
Director: Aw geez. Cut. Nancy, a child has been hurt. Now you have to do your job.
Nancy: Alright, I'm on it. Even I'm not so apathetic that I'd leave a filly in pain.
Rough on the Diamond
[Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are walking down the street past Rainbow and Apple Bloom; Diamond is carrying a large wrapped box on her back. Apple Bloom hides in a bush.
Silver Spoon: Your new outfit is, like, perfect for the party.
Diamond: I know! It totally shows off my new Cutie Mark.
Silver Spoon: I love being special.
Diamond: Can you imagine-
[The box suddenly explodes, and the two fillies scream in terror]
Pierre: Holy cow! How did that happen?!
Rainbow: Whoa! Is everypony okay?!
Diamond: [hyperventilating] I… I thought I was going to have a heart attack!
Pierre: No seriously, how did the box explode?!
(Credit to Maelstrom)
I Had to Reference it, Guys
Apple Bloom: [Looks through Pinkie's drawers] Now where are those cupcakes? I'm ready to chow down!
Pinkie: I don't have any cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Oh…
Pinkie: [gasps] But you look like you'd be good at helping me make some!
Tou-Mou: [from off-set] Hey! This is like the ending of that one creepypasta where-
Director: [Gets up and yells at her through his megaphone] NOPE! You are not bringing Cupcakes into this! We're supposed to be better than that!
Tou-Mou: [folds arms] Since when are we better than anything? This production is a joke.
Director: Well at least the rest of us don't wear sunglasses indoors!
Tou-Mou: Why do ya always have to go for the shades, man. It's a statement.
Director: Is that statement "I'm a complete tool?!"
Pierre: This could go on for a while… [cuts footage]
Crunchy Lunch
[Apple Bloom removes a tray of "cupcakes" from the oven, but drops it on the ground when it burns her tongue]
Apple Bloom: Hot! Hot! Hot! [her tongue lolls out]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Those look much better than the last batch. [She goes to take a bite of the pile of crud trying to pass itself off as a cake, but as she chomps down, she finds that it is completely solid] YOW!
Director: OUCH! Cut! Who made those things?!
Tou-Mou: I did!
Director: Are there no other prop designers?!
Tou-Mou: They quit!
Director: Of course they did… I'd better put out an ad.
Sweetie Belle: Hey! I'll make the gross cupcakes if you want!
Director: Thank you, Sweetie Belle. Get to it.
Tou-Mou: Hey, you could hire that kid to help me!
Director: Peng, no children should be let anywhere near you.
Tou-Mou: Meh, that's probably a wise decision.
I'm Not Lazy, I Swear to Celestia
Take 1
Apple Bloom: [rushes up to Twilight] Twilight! Ya have to help me!
Twilight: What's the matter?
Apple Bloom: [inhales] Tiara's cute-ceañera's today and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I want to get my cutie [starts to cough and sputter] S-sorry!
Director: Cut!
Take 2
Apple Bloom: [quickly inhales] Tiara's cute-ceañera's today and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I want to get my cutie mark but I'm no good at selling apples or hang-gliding or making cupcakes, but I wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don't have my cutie mark, which…
[Apple Bloom then passes out]
Director: CUT! What happened?!
Twilight: I don't think she took in enough breath to handle that line…
Pinkie: Eeesh, that's rough. I remember how hard it was for me when I first started belting out long rants… like I passed out a lot and my parents kept having to take me to the hospital in the town closest to the rock farm; and I didn't even realise how often I was doing it until an insurance agent came to the farm and asked my parents if he could look through my medical history reports because they thought I was holding my breath for long periods of time on purpose for some reason..
[Everyone gives Pinkie a long, awkward stare.]
Props to You
[Diamond Tiara's party is in full swing]
Lemony Gem: [Goes to take a bite out of one of the cupcakes, but ends up chomping down on one of the hard-as-stone ones] GYAK!
Director: Did nobody get rid of those things?!
Carl the Cleaner: You never asked me to throw them out, you moron!
Director: It should have gone without saying, you idiot!
Pierre: God nobody should have to hear this. [cuts the footage]
The Price of Candy
[Upon realizing that she has walked right into the party, Apple Bloom goes to hide behind a life-sized chocolate statue of a pony. However, she bumps into it and it starts to fall to the floor]
Director: HECK NO!
[Much to the surprise of everyone in the room, the Director gets up from his chair and hurries onto the crowded set at lightning speed, jumping up on the refreshment table and leaping off it to launch himself over the majority of the crowd. He then forward rolls the rest of the way across the room and lunges toward the statue, catching it just before it hits the ground]
Rainbow: WHOA! That… was awesome!
[Everyone starts to clap and cheer whilst complimenting the Director]
Felicity: That was amazing, sir!
Pierre: I got it all on film!
Pinkie: You saved the sweets! You're the best!
Tou-Mou: I didn't see! What happened?!
Twilight: I can't believe you did that!
Apple Bloom: Wow, sir! I didn't know you were capable of doin' something like that!
Director: Heh… thanks, everyone. But… can someone please help me up? I think I just pulled a muscle or six.
Strawberry-frosted Brat
[Apple Bloom hides from view behind a large cake, ducking out of sight when Snails approaches the table it's on. Snails immediately eats an entire third of the cake in one bite]
Diamond Tiara: Hey! It's my cute-ceañera! I'm supposed to get the first bite of-
[The cake, now imbalanced, tips over and falls on Diamond's head, splattering her with frosting]
Diamond: UCK! Cut! I've gotta take a bath; don't look at me!
Pierre: I kinda feel bad for her…
Director: Don't. Just cut.
Refreshment Abuse
[Whilst trying to sneak her way out of the party, Apple Bloom goes to hide under a table, but smashes into one of its legs, knocking everything that was on it to the floor]
Apple Bloom: Dang it!
Director: Cut! Carl, clean that up!
Carl: You don't have to tell me! I know when I have to do my frigging job!
Director: Well do it faster!
Carl: Just stop talking and let me clean whilst you sit in that dumb chair all day. [sarcastically] Oooh, how exhausting for you!
Director: What the- I just parkoured across the set to catch a statue!
Pierre: [Smirking] You two make a good pair.
Director: Shut up, Pierre. No one likes you.
Pierre: Ouch…
Felicity: I like you, Pierre!
Pierre: That would mean something if you didn't like everyone.
Felicity: ...good point.
More Refreshment Abuse
[As Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon make their way over to Apple Bloom, the yellow filly tries to tug a tablecloth off a table to use as a makeshift dress. However, she ends up bringing all the stuff on the table crashing to the floor once again]
Apple Bloom: Aw come on! How am I supposed to do this?!
Director: Practice! CARL!
Carl: Shut up! I'm cleaning, you fat fart!
Director: You'd better, 'cause who knows how long it will take for Apple Bloom to do this right.
Apple Bloom: Hey! How about some support?!
Injury of the Day
[Apple Bloom walks away from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, sighing in relief. However, she almost immediately trips over the tablecloth she's wearing and topples forward. Her head collides with the leg of the table the gramophone is sitting on, causing the party music to stop. Apple Bloom falls to the ground with a painful thump.]
[Everyone looks over at Apple Bloom, but she doesn't get up off the ground]
Director: Apple Bloom! Stand!
[Apple Bloom still doesn't move]
Applejack: Aw shoot! [Hurries over and checks Apple Bloom, who has a bruise beginning to show on her forehead] She's out for the count!
Director: Alright that's enough for today anyway; everybody pack up, I'm gonna drive Apple Bloom to the hospital.
Applejack: Don't we have a nurse here.
Director: Do you really want Nancy dealing with your possibly-concussed sister?
Applejack: I call shotgun.
What is it With Tables in This Chapter?
[Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are once again bullying the now-clothless Apple Bloom]
Scootaloo: You got a problem with blank flanks?!
[Everyone gasps and looks in the direction of the voice. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle crawl out from under a table]
Scootaloo: I said-
Sweetie Belle: [Hits her horn on the table as she emerges] OW!
Director: Cut!
Kick Them While They're Down
[Everyone is laughing at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon after Scootaloo frigging burned them]
Diamond Tiara: Hey! This is my party! Why are you two on her side?
Scootaloo: Because…
[She and Sweetie Belle turn to the sides, showing their flanks to the rest of the ponies. However, instead of being blank, Sweetie Belle has a drawing of Diamond Tiara with googly eyes and a mustache on hers, and Scootaloo has a drawing of Silver Spoon with her tongue dangling out and stink lines coming off her]
Diamond Tiara: What they- HEY?!
Everyone: [chuckles]
Director: Oh grow up, people! It's not that funny. [He's smirking]
One More Prank for the Road
Twilight: [voiceover] Dearest Princess Celestia, I am happy to report that one of your youngest subjects has learned a valuable lesson about friendship. Sometimes the thing you think will cause you to lose friends and feel left out…
[Scene transitions to Princess Celestia reading the letter out loud to yourself]
Celestia: ...can actually be the thing that helps you make your closest friends and realize how special you are.
[She looks affectionately down at her Cutie Mark, the sun, in the middle of which is another drawing of Diamond Tiara with cross eyes.]
Diamond Tiara: [from somewhere offset] Why does this keep happening?!
Director: That's the last scene! Great job today, guys- you're free to go.
[Everyone starts to leave the set, happily chatting]
Pierre: You've been in a better mood than usual. Is it 'cause you saved that statue?
Director: Well yeah, that was nice. Mostly it's because I got to explode a box on top of Diamond Tiara.
Pierre: Wait, that was you?!
Director: Yeah… I know punishing the actress was harsh, but I had a chance to live out my dream of frightening a character I don't like and I took it.
Pierre: Well… at least you recognize that it was wrong of you?
Director: I missed you, man; if Sunset were here she'd call me out for being a jerk.
Pierre: [to himself, sarcastically] I wonder why.
Endnote: As always, thank you for reading. The next episode is Fall Weather Friends so be sure to send in any bloopers you have for me via review or PM. I love hearing from you all!
Mouse's Musings: So this episode marks the debut of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but it was more about explaining what a pony's butt tattoo was- I've watched all generations of MLP (don't judge me, I was young) but I don't remember if the butt tats have been named until this season- it was more of a way to tell each pony apart. Cutie Marks have always been fascinating to me, because there's so much potential for stories about them, as we've seen over and over in this show. They're a really cool idea and it adds a certain uniqueness to the MLP universe; I feel like this could get the younger audiences considering what they want to do with their lives- what their Cutie Mark would be. And then there are the potential, more mature stories that could be told, such as "what if someone doesn't like their Cutie Mark?" or "What if your Cutie Mark limits what you will be able to do?" I hear that the latter question was a premise in season seven, so that's one thing I have to look forward to. 'Cause a part of me finds the idea of Cutie Marks kinda terrifying: One day a magic mark appears on your flank that dictates what you are best at, and that's what you'll end up doing for the rest of your life, whether it's a mark of a garbage can or a toilet, that's your destiny.
The episode's moral is nice; about how being different from most other people can make you feel ostracized, but once you find other people with the same struggles, you can stick together. It's a very important thing for people of all ages to learn; a friend of mine recently flew to New York to act whilst I'm still stuck here, and when I watched that scene of Apple Bloom finding out that Twist had just gotten her Cutie Mark and she was now the supposed only blank flank, I wanted to give her the biggest damn hug. They kinda dealt with adults getting a Cutie Mark they don't like in season five, but I feel like they could still do more with that. Also, how did Apple Bloom not know that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were blank flanks and vice versa if they were in the same class? I know this happened like seven years ago but still!
This also raises the question of how I'm gonna handle the CMC in this story's universe. With the Mane Six, I can make the excuse that they already had their necessary Cutie Marks and they were a part of how the ponies got their roles; Fluttershy can still be an animal lover, Rarity can own a fashion label, Rainbow Dash can be a sports celebrity, etc. But the CMC are blank flanks outside the production as well, meaning that at some point in later chapters, one of the CMC will come into the studio with a Cutie Mark that'll have to be edited out. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. As a final note, we now have Carl the Janitor in the story; there are other cleaners on staff, but this guy is at the forefront of them all.