Author's Note: It turns out I'm not dead. Hope you don't mind cheesy sitcom scripts for when the dinner scene comes up!
"What, am I not allowed to visit my two favorite ghosts?" Stan said in mock horror. "As all the kids are saying these days, I feel attacked."
"Not all of them. But next time you visit, try not to kill me a second time with a heart attack." Tony replied.
"No, keep it up. It's funny when he jumps." Natasha deadpanned. Tony glared at her and gestured at Stan to continue.
"Hi Steve. My name's Stan, and seeing as you've figured out our little game of souls, it's about time you knew how it worked."
"Rules? Are there a few for me, too?" Steve asked. Stan nodded appreciatively.
"Of course, we can't have you running around and doing all of the work for these two. The rules on their part are easy to follow and came with the bargain. For starters, they can only perform actions using limited amounts of the soul stone's energy, and the allowance refreshes daily. They can't directly contact someone and tell them of their return because people have to figure it out indirectly from clues and actions. This all has to be done to prove to the stone that they need to return to Earth and would be better off there than in the afterlife or with the stone."
Steve considered it with a tilt of his head. "So I would somehow have to comply with these rules, presumably by keeping it quiet?"
"Exactly. No intentional hints to anyone else, direct or indirect as they may be if you wish to interact with our ghosts from here on out. You will still count among their successes even if you break the rules, but you won't remember that they're still alive and they will be forbidden by the stone to contact you." Stan responded.
"Gotcha. I'm in."
"Excellent! And before I go- great work so far to my floating friends over here. Your connections to each other and the stone are really powering up. Keep it up, and I can't wait to see what you do with them. Bye!" Stan disappeared with a loud 'bamf' noise and a puff of purple smoke.
Nobody spoke for a few moments until Steve's stomach growled.
"Who's up for dinner at my place?" he asked.
ACT ONE, SCENE ELEVEN-ISH
CARTER-ROGERS HOUSE, EVENING
The scene opens from the outside on a modest one-floor house with a basement. It's painted white with a blue roof and accents and has a few well-kept red rose bushes out in front. Smooth jazz plays and a title written in a golden, dancing script slowly fades into and out of view. It reads: Good Will Haunting- The Sitcom Episode. The setting changes to a busy kitchen, where a silver-haired woman is softly stirring a pot of soup on top of an oven and swaying to the music, which is coming from a radio on a nearby ledge. There's a series of small knocks at the door, and she frowns but continues her work. The knocking pauses, then grows louder and more persistent.
STEVE: Peggy! I'm home!
PEGGY turns and makes eye contact with the camera and smirks. There's a clever, mischievous glint in her eyes, reminiscent of the chaos she caused in her younger years. She starts to hum louder, ignoring the knocking and the audience laughs.
STEVE: C'mon, Peg! I know you can hear me!
PEGGY finally turns down the radio and bustles through the rest of the kitchen, the dining area, and the living room to the back door, unlocking and opening it with a smile on her face. STEVE CARTER-ROGERS enters, ducking through the doorway. The audience claps and cheers. STEVE accepts the applause bashfully and smiles at his wife.
STEVE: I brought you something, darling.
PEGGY: Thank you, Steven. But you're still late and so are the boys.
The audience snickers. STEVE blushes, shushes them, and hands her a few fresh roses from behind his back. PEGGY takes them gently and tousles his hair from below with her free hand.
STEVE: I was held up for a moment visiting a few people at the compound.
PEGGY: I thought you would be, now that things are finally starting up again around there.
She pauses and turns back towards the kitchen, remembering the soup.
PEGGY: Would you be a dear and put the roses in the vase for me? I have to finish up with dinner.
STEVE: Of course. I'll handle our visitors.
PEGGY hands STEVE the roses and leaves the room. He puts the roses in a vase on the coffee table in the living room. It's small and tastefully decorated, much like the rest of the house. There's an artificial fireplace, two couches, two armchairs, various pictures hanging on the walls, and a record player in the corner beside a bookcase. STEVE sits down on one of the couches. Suddenly the room dims, brightens, and the pictures start swaying in unison. Two people offscreen are saying, "ooooooOOOOOOoooooo…" He sighs.
STEVE: Tony, Nat, knock it off. I know it's you.
Giggling from a male voice fills the room, and two transparent, orange figures materialize in front of STEVE. TONY and NATASHA have arrived. The audience cheers and claps loudly.
NATASHA: Told you it was too over the top.
TONY: So says the one who wanted us to show up in sheets and ask if it was Halloween yet.
STEVE: All this fuss for little old me? I'm flattered, guys. I really am.
TONY: I'm sure you are. By the way- nice place, Rogers.
NATASHA: Yeah, where do you keep the weapons?
Cue the soft laughter from the audience.
STEVE: Locked in the closet when the boys bring them over.
There's a slight pause. NATASHA raises an eyebrow, expecting a different answer.
STEVE: Oh, you meant our stash. You see, there's a set of knives in the kitchen, Peggy's three pistols in the safe, sometimes the shield hanging above the fireplace, a bat behind the front door, ninja stars from the Bartons…
The audience laughs and NATASHA smiles.
STEVE: And sometimes Bucky, especially if he doesn't get enough sleep. He bites.
NATASHA: I don't doubt it.
TONY: Say, Cap, when's everyone else showing up for dinner?
STEVE: They're still on their way. I bet you're getting real hungry at the smell of that soup, it's simply-
STEVE pauses, smirks, looks at the camera, and then looks at the ghosts.
STEVE: -to die for.
The audience laughs as TONY and NATASHA roll their eyes in perfect sync. TONY looks like he's about to say something, but is interrupted by scuffling and arguing coming from outside the front door. There's a loud thump followed by silence, and the doorbell finally rings just once. STEVE gets up to answer it.
STEVE: I'll get the door, Peg!
STEVE opens it and reveals BUCKY holding SAM in a headlock. The audience cheers. SAM is muttering threats at BUCKY, and he smiles and clamps a hand over SAM's mouth.
BUCKY (jokingly): Hiya, Steve. How's the missus?
STEVE: Ask her yourself, Buck. Let Sam go and she'll consider feeding you dinner too. How are you, Sam?
SAM (still stuck in a headlock): Mmmrf.
SAM bites the hand clamped over his mouth. Canned laughter erupts from the audience. BUCKY makes a strangled yelping noise, suddenly releasing him. BUCKY glares and rubs his injured hand with his metal one.
SAM: I'm doing well, Cap. Pretty roses you've got over there.
SAM smirks and STEVE returns the look. BUCKY doesn't notice, he's too busy moping.
STEVE: Why thank you, Cap.
BUCKY looks up and groans, his 'sorrows' forgotten.
BUCKY: Not this shit again.
SAM: You're welcome, Cap!
PEGGY appears in the doorway. She grins.
PEGGY: If I have to hear that routine one more time I'm throwing spoons at all of you. Weapons in the closet because food's on the table!
She quickly exits with the 'ghosts' slinking off after her. SAM and BUCKY begin removing their weapons and leaving them in a nearby closet.
TONY (shouting): HOORAY, FOOD!
STEVE jumps and quickly shoots a grumpy look at TONY. Thankfully, SAM and BUCKY didn't notice in their hurry to be the first one done and at the table. The audience laughs and bursts into applause as the words "To be continued…" appear on screen.