Feeling Pinkie Keen
Intro
[The Director hums as he enters the studio, carrying his megaphone, his copy of the script, and a six-pack of soda. Pinkie Pie and Twilight are rehearsing lines, Fluttershy is helping Applejack and Tou-Mou load props into the truck they'll all be taking to the episode's filming areas, and Carl is carrying a tank full of frogs across the room. His attention is drawn to the woman in the middle of the set, ordering Mike around.]
Veronica: [reading a clipboard] Michael, are you going to just stand there all day?
Mike: [carrying three large boxes, and starting to buckle under their weight] Wh-where should I put these?
Veronica: In the supply closet at the back of the room.
Mike: I just went over there a-and there's no room.
Veronica: [placing the pen she's holding behind her ear] Are you seriously telling me that you didn't think to put the boxes down next to the closet instead of carrying them all the way back over to me.
[beat]
Mike: I d-didn't think-
Veronica: No, you did not think. Now, get back over there and put my supplies where they belong or we'll be stuck even more behind schedule.
Mike: Actually, I think we're m-making good time-
Veronica: Did I stutter or something? I said put my supplies down.
[Mike yelps and drops the boxes right where he's standing]
Veronica: Not there! Ugh! [she drops her clipboard and picks up one of the boxes] I'll just do it myself. Go make yourself useful elsewhere, but anything that you just broke is coming out of your paycheck.
Mike: C-can you take money from my paycheck? That's usually what the Director does.
[Veronica ignores him and keeps working. Mike stands there for awhile before the Director moves past him to set up his stuff.]
Director: Doofus.
Dragon Abuse
[On a hill, Twilight is practicing magic on Spike; she successfully turns a stick he's holding into a cane, a chain of leaves he's wearing around his neck into a dinner jacket and begins transforming a rock on his head into a top hat. Spike glances away for a moment.]
Twilight: Eyes over here, Spike!
Spike: Uh, sorry. [He looks back at Twilight]
Twilight: For this to work, it's crucial we keep our concentration totally on the-
[Spike looks away again, and the top hat Twilight is levitating turns back into a rock and crashes down on the dragon's head, knocking him to the ground]
Twilight: Spike! This magic needs our full attention to make it happen! There's no other way!
[Spike doesn't respond.]
Twilight: Uh… Spike? [pokes Spike with the stick he'd been holding] Are you awake?
Director: Oh geez, really? We haven't even been filming for thirty seconds yet and we already have a casualty!
Twilight: [levitates Spike onto her back] I'll take him to the nurse [she trots away]
Pierre: Sir, I had no idea the inevitable torture was gonna start so soon.
Director: Neither did I! This is just a little bonus.
Veronica: [appearing next to Pierre] I heard that. Sir, are you some sort of sadist?
Director: No, I'm just kind of a scumbag. Also, who the hell told you that you could come and stand with Pierre and me?
Veronica: I'm playing a large part in this episode's production. No matter where I stand, you're going to have to work with me.
Director: Well then grab a seat, Espinosa. It's gonna be a long day.
Veronica: At least you're happy about that for once. Mind passing me a soda?
Director: Heck no, these are all mine!
Pierre: [under his breath] I'm not gonna make it through the day, am I…?
Not Cotton Candy
[Twilight and Spike approach Pinkie, who's wearing an umbrella hat.]
Twilight: Pinkie Pie? What in the wide, wide world of Equestria are you up to?
Pinkie: Oh! It's my tail! It's my tail! [Pinkie shoves her tail in Twilight's face, and the unicorn immediately begins sputtering.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight: [Spits pink hairs from her mouth and mutters sarcastically.] Thanks for that, Pinkie.
Pierre: Ya know, I always imagined Pinkie's hair tasting like cotton candy.
Director and Veronica: You're an idiot, Pierre.
The Future Princess and the Frog
Twilight: Oh, Pinkie, it's not gonna rain. Why, there's barely even a cloud in the-
[Suddenly a frog flies right over Twilight's head.]
Director: CUT! Who's on frog-throwing duty?!
Tou-Mou: I am sir, but it's hard as heck to focus when the yellow one's giving me the evil eye.
[Sure enough, not too far away, Fluttershy is giving Tou-Mou an intense stare.]
[beat]
Pierre: Holy crud, that's terrifying.
[Applejack starts nudging Fluttershy away from the crew]
Applejack: C'mon, Fluttershy. Let's go wanderin' someplace else for a minute or two.
[Fluttershy continues glaring at Tou-Mou as she and Applejack leave.]
Director: Dang… I'd give anything to see what your face looked like under those shades of yours, Peng.
Tou-Mou: It looks both horrified and badass at the same time.
Physics Ensues
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so, so sorry!
[The camera pans up to show Fluttershy flying in the air with a cart full of frogs, along with a bunch stuffed in some saddlebags and a basket, and one on her head.]
Fluttershy: Are you okay, Twilight Sparkle? I just couldn't stand to see the pond getting so-
[suddenly the wagon tips downwards, and all the frogs tumble down to the ground, beginning to hop all over the place]
[The Director doesn't yell cut, but just groans and buries his face in his hands.]
Veronica: I knew that cart couldn't stay suspended like that. The prop girl deserves a budget cut.
Tou-Mou: Okay I wouldn't go that far! Come on! How else was Fluttershy gonna carry fifty-plus frogs through the air?
Veronica: A hot air balloon?
Tou-Mou: … [turns to face the Director] Sir, I don't like her. Can you please fire her?
Pierre: Now who's going too far?
It Begins…
Fluttershy: [clenches her basket of frogs in her mouth]
Fluttershy: Buh-bye- OH NO! [the basket slips from her mouth and falls down, landing right on Twilight's head.]
Twilight: OW! Right on the horn!
[The frogs start hopping all around again.]
Pierre: Sir, are you beginning to have second thoughts about how "fun" today would be?
Director: [Clenching his teeth] You have no frickin' idea.
A Bad Balance
[Pinkie Pie has just predicted that something else is going to fall from the sky.]
Twilight: [starts walking off with Spike on her back] Oh, Pinkie, please. Nothing else is gonna fa-AAAAH! [she suddenly falls into a ditch, and Spike lands on the edge of it.]
Spike: Wh-WHOA! [Spike loses balance and falls into the ditch too.]
Director: Cut!
Spike: [On a mattress at the bottom of the ditch, next to Twilight] Sorry!
Hats Off for Pinkie
Spike: Oh no, Twilight fell! Is it... safe to go help her?
Pinkie: It's okay. My tail stopped twitching. [She tries to flick her umbrella hat off her head but finds that it is on too tight to come off] Oh shoot!
Director: Cut!
Face-Ache
Twilight: [Beginning to climb out of the ditch] Two coincidences in a row like this may be unlikely, but it's still easier to believe than twitchy tails that predict the future.
Applejack: [Gasps] Twitchy tail? Pinkie Sense?! [She whizzes away and tries to dive under a vegetable cart for cover, but kicks off the ground too hard and ends up slamming face-first into the side of it.]
Everyone: [Flinches]
Director: Cut! AJ, is your face broken?
Pierre: If it can survive Veronica launching it into a tree, AJ's face is indestructible if you ask me.
Veronica: Well it's a good thing none of us did ask you, Mr. Montana.
Pierre: No! Don't tell them my last name!
Director: Why…?
Pierre: [Lowering his voice] Because in school I was called Hannah for three whole years…
Director: Oh… [pats Pierre's back] Hey, at least Rainbow Dash wasn't around to hear it. She would be calling you Hannah.
Pierre: [Burying his face in his hands] I know...
Muddied Up
Pinkie: [Zooming back onto the set] My ears are flopping! My ears are flopping!
Spike: Gyah! What does that mean?!
Pinkie: [Turns to Twilight] I'll start a bath for you.
Twilight: Huh? [chuckles] A bath? This thing keeps getting more ridiculous by the minute!
[A pony pulling a cart runs through a mud puddle, spraying mud into the air. However, it misses Twilight and splashes down at her side.]
Director: Cut. Twilight, scooch a little to the right.
Bathroom Safety
[Twilight is taking a bath at Pinkie's place.]
Pinkie: ... and when my knee gets pinchy, that means something scary's about to happen.
Twilight: Is your knee pinchy now?
Pinkie: No, but my shoulder's achy. That means there's an alligator in the tub. [Pinkie dunks her head into the bathwater and pulls out a cross-eyed baby alligator.]
[Twilight yelps and jumps out of the bath, trying to perch on the rim of it but slipping and crashing down to the ground.]
Director: Cut! I frigging knew that'd be too dangerous!
Pierre: I'm more concerned with why Twilight isn't bathing at her own house…
Director: [Groan] Of course you are.
Pierre: Maybe giant tree houses don't get plumbing…?
The Things We Do for Jokes
[Pinkie and Twilight are walking through Ponyville.]
Twilight: Well, I still don't believe all this... "special power" stuff. It's just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.
Pinkie: What's not to believe? You do magic; what's the difference?
Twilight: [Scowling] Huge! For one thing…
[Twilight then spots a box on the ground with a bar and two bottles of soap on it and climbs up onto it. However, she slips on the bar and flops down onto her belly, wincing in pain.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight: Owww… is this soapbox joke really worth it?
Order
Pinkie: [Stops in her tracks whilst Twilight walks up to the library door] Uh-oh! I feel a combo coming on! Ear-flop… knee-twitch… eye-flutter-
Director: Cut! No! Pinkie!
Pinkie: What?! Is?! It?!
Director: That was the wrong order of twitches.
Pinkie: Oops! I'm! Sorry!
Director: [Yells through his megaphone] Stop doing that!
For Science!
Take 1
[The scene fades into Twilight's basement, where numerous scientific-looking devices fill the room. Pinkie has been hooked up to some sort of machine and has Doc Brown-esque headgear strapped to her noggin.]
Twilight: Wait! Don't start filming yet!
Pierre: [Sighs] Five seconds too late, Twilight.
Twilight: I'm sorry, I just want to ask something.
Director: Fine. Go ahead.
Twilight: What is all this stuff? I mean, I know what it all is but what is it doing here?
Director: It's analyzing Pinkie, of course.
Twilight: No, I mean, I thought this show was set in a pre-industrial kind of time, at least in terms of machinery. This is kinda out-of-place, don't you think?
Director: Twilight, you can complain all you like, nothing is going to change.
Twilight: Uggggh!
Take 2
[Twilight looks at the readings coming out of the machine Pinkie's hooked up to.]
Twilight: Any twitches yet?
Pinkie: Nopey-dopey!
Twilight: Ugh! I gotta stop again! I must!
Director: There is no must, Twilight! There is only you wasting more time.
Twilight: Maybe so, but I can't believe that Show Twilight would be this inept at science!
Pinkie: What do you mean? She's got all this sciencey stuff all over the place. She can't be bad at science.
Twilight: Pinkie, this is not how you go about figuring out Pinkie Sense. What I'd need to do is find a way to trigger the Pinkie Sense and then repeatedly test it out until I got accurate data. Like, for example, I could drop a book from the top of the stairs or something and see if your tail twitches and then test that over and over again whilst taking note of the results.
[When she's done talking, Twilight looks around to see that everyone has fallen asleep during her ramble]
Twilight: You guys are the worst…
[beat]
Twilight: Oh well, whilst you guys nap I'm going to have lunch.
Take 3
[Once everyone's awake, filming resumes.]
Pinkie: Wait, hold on. I'm feelin' something…
Twilight: Oh my gosh! What?! What is it?! [Looks around excitedly]
[Pinkie stomach starts rumbling.]
Pinkie: It's my tummy! That usually means I'm hungry. Let's eat!
Twilight: [Growls] You know what?! [She goes to tear the wires out of the machine but hesitates.]
Director: Cut. Twilight, what's the matter now?
Twilight: I-I-I can't accept this! This experiment must have lasted, what, a minute?! No reasonable pony with scientific curiosity would give up after one minute!
Director: Well Twilight did. Deal with it.
Twilight: BUT-
Remember the First Blooper? Ah, memories.
[Twilight and Pinkie climb the stairs out of the basement, but when they get to the top, Pinkie freezes.]
Pinkie: Uh-oh! [Backs away a little and makes wacky noises as her ears flop, her eyes flutter, and her knees twitch. Twilight looks over her shoulder, clearly confused, and then the door to the basement swings open, slamming violently against the wall, narrowly missing hitting Twilight.]
Twilight: GYAH! Geez, I was not prepared for how loud that would be.
Director: That's because it shouldn't be that fast. Spike, we talked about this- you aren't meant to open the door that fast. Just open it normally whilst Twilight's standing behind it and we'll edit it to make it look like it's crushed her.
Spike: Oooooh! Okay, I gotcha.
Twilight: Wait, are you saying Spike could have just seriously hurt me?!
Director: Let's try again, everyone!
Twilight: I'm still kinda worried!
Twientifically Speaking
[Twilight and Spike are hiding behind a bush where Twilight is spying on Pinkie.]
Twilight: Honestly Spike, don't you know better than to sneak up on ponies?
Spike: Oh, sorry, but, um, well, isn't that what you're doing?
Twilight: [Gasp] No! [peers through the bush] I'm doing scientific research. I'm observing Pinkie Pie; scientific name: Pinkius Pieicus- adding 'icus' to the end of a word doesn't make it Latin!
Director: Twilight, shut up for the love of Celestia!
Causing a Bracket
[Twilight and Spike are at Applejack's farm, continuing to spy on Pinkie. Twilight is covered in band-aids from where she was stung by bees not too long ago. Internally, Twilight is wondering whether someone on staff just really liked watching ponies get attacked by bees because that's gotta be like the third time that's happened so far. Twilight glances around at the many people around the set, pondering which one of them was behind the constant bee attacks. Or perhaps it was someone higher up who was pulling the-
Director: Twilight, hello?! I've yelled 'action' five times!
Twilight: GAH! Sorry! [Stupid stage directions turning into inner thoughts!]
Full Petal Panic
[Twilight is watching Pinkie from behind some hay bales whilst Spike sits beside her with a notepad.]
Spike: What's she doing now?
[Pinkie sniffs a flower in the middle of a dirt path.]
Twilight: Smelling a flower.
Spike: [Jolts in shock] Holy guacamole! I wonder what that means! [Scribbles something in his notepad.]
Twilight: [Deadpan] Probably that the flower smells-
Pinkie: GYAH! [Starts pawing at her nose] Petal up my nose! Petal up my nose! [Snorts, trying to blow it out]
Director: [Facepalm] Cut.
Unexpected Stunts
[Pinkie has just twitched the combo that means 'watch out for opening doors' and Spike is worried the prediction will come true.]
Twilight: Here, let me show you there's nothing to be afraid of. [She leans on the barn door behind her. Nothing happens.] You see? I promise there's nothing to fear from that… [Twilight stops walking and looks down. She is standing directly on top of the cellar door Applejack was supposed to open]
[Beat]
Director: Darn it, Applejack. She'd better not miss her cue next ti-
[Just then, the cellar door jiggles beneath Twilight's hooves.]
Applejack: [From inside] Hey, it's jammed!
Twilight: Sorry Applejack, it's just me. I'll get-
[Then the cellar door flies open at a scary speed, having been bucked open by Applejack's powerful hind legs. Twilight is flung off the door and into the air, hurtling into the distance.]
[Everyone is silent as they watch Twilight fly away]
Applejack: [Walking out of the cellar] Hoo-wee! Pardon me, but I'm a little claustrophobic. Hehe… [She glances around] Hey, where's Twilight?
[Suddenly, there's a flash of purple magic and Twilight appears in front of Applejack, wide-eyed and with her mane completely frazzled.]
Twilight: [Glaring at Applejack] I almost landed in the bog, you maniac!
Applejack: How's that… [She begins to figure out what happened] Ooooh… well, shoot, it's a good thing you can teleport, huh?
Twilight: [Eye twitches]
This is Fun
[After the apple cellar incident, Twilight is now stuck in a wheelchair with both of her front hooves bandaged and out-of-commission.]
Spike: Here, let me help you. [Spike pulls down on a lever that's meant to hoist Twilight's front legs higher so she can look through the binoculars she's holding. However, nothing happens.
Spike: What the…? [Pulls on the lever a few more times] Is it… is it broken? [Pulls over and over again, hoping that something will happen.]
Director: Cut! Hey Peng, check and see if that wheelchair's-
[Then Twilight's legs are pulled up violently, and she is smacked in the face by her own hooves and binoculars.]
Twilight: GAH! Oh, come on!
Director: ...never mind.
Veronica's Moment to Shine
Director: So you're sure this is going to work.
Veronica: Yes.
Director: Twilight's not in any danger?
Veronica: No.
Director: That's not a real anvil?
Veronica: No.
Director: Or a real wagon?
Veronica: She's going to be okay!
Pierre: Then why am I scared?!
Veronica: [Grabs the Director's megaphone] ACTION!
[Spike runs off the set, panicking.]
Twilight: Ugh! Spike, honestly, you're overreact-
[Suddenly, a plant pot falls and smashes on her head. Followed by a (foam) anvil, a wagon full of hay bales (that's made of polystyrene), and a piano (also made of foam). It all crumbles on top of and around Twilight in a realistic manner, and the wheelchair collapses as Veronica presses a button.]
Director: Aaaand we got it!
Pierre: [Stops filming]
Veronica: Looks like someone owes me an apology. [Glares at the Director.]
Director: What the heck are you talking about? I'm not going to apologize because you did the job you're paid to do.
Pierre: Uh… guys.
Derpy: Look out below!
[Everyone looks up to see that the airborne van that was carrying the props has detached from the two pegasi flying it and is plummeting towards Twilight.]
Director: [Gasps] Twilight, get out of there!
Twilight: [Emerges from the pile of props] Huh? [looks up] GWAH!
[She teleports herself out of harm's way just in the nick of time and the van comes crashing down onto the spot she was in not two seconds ago. Twilight reappears a few feet to the side next to Mike, who is trembling after what just happened.]
Mike: A-are you okay, Twilight?!
Twilight: [Takes a deep breath] I'm fine. But holy horse droppings, that was close!
Director: Peng, was that your fault?!
Tou-Mou: What?! No! I didn't even know we owned a flying van!
Director: Well then, was it you? [Turns to Veronica]
Veronica: Um… well, I asked around to see if anyone owned a pegasus-controlled van we could use, and Mr. Crafty Crate said that his was available for us to borrow.
Director: And did you check that this van was in a safe condition for us to use?
[Veronica goes silent]
Tou-Mou: Oooooh, somebody just got busted!
Veronica: Quiet, you! I assumed it would be safe since it was frequently used for transport.
Director: Looks like somebody owes Twilight an apology.
[Beat]
Veronica: [Sighs and folds her arms] I apologize, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight: [Smiles reassuringly] Hey, nopony got hurt. It's fine.
Veronica: ...we got the footage we needed. Let's take a five-minute break and then get back on track. Michael, get the Director and I our drinks. [strides away with Mike hurrying off to follow his orders.]
Twilight: [Brushes some polystyrene off her fur] I hope nothing else goes wrong. I'd like to get out of here in one piece.
Bad Day at The Bog
[Twilight, Spike, Pinkie and Applejack have made it to the bog and are searching around for Fluttershy. Twilight climbs up a tree in order to get a better look around, but she slips and tumbles off the trunk.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight: I can't grip onto the bark! I have hooves!
Bad Day at The Bog: Electric Boogaloo
[Pinkie lifts up a lilypad and peers into the bog, grimacing at how disgusting it looks. Suddenly a frog leaps towards her, but instead of landing on the lilypad, it lands on her face.]
Pinkie: EEP!
Director: Cut!
Applejack: Here Pinkie, lemme get that for ya.
[The frog moves up to sit on Pinkie's head.]
Pinkie: Aw, it's no biggie. The froggy just surprised me is all.
[The frog croaks happily]
Bad Day at The Bog: Revenge of The Ooze
[Spike hops on Pinkie's head, forcing her face down into the boggy water. He spots Fluttershy on a nearby rock, tipping a basket of frogs into the bog.]
Spike: Fluttershy, you're okay! [He leaps towards the yellow pegasus to hug her, but Fluttershy loses her balance and slips off the rock, into the bog, taking Spike with her.]
Director: CUT!
[Fluttershy and Spike sit up in the bog, both looking disdainfully down at their sludge-covered bodies. Suddenly both of them are picked up by their tails and carried away. A very tall, calm-looking man with ungroomed hair and baggy pants has scooped them from the bog and is heading towards the van.]
?: Don't worry, kittens. I'm just gonna be cleanin' y'all up and you'll be back to recordin' before we know it.
[Spike and Fluttershy swap confused (and slightly afraid) looks as they get carried away.]
Director: ...Who the hell was that?
Pierre: Quinn Payne, sir- the makeup artist. It's best to just pretend he's not here.
Veronica: Why? Is he… not mentally sound?
Pierre: I have no idea, but he cleans the ponies and then keeps to himself, and that's all that's needed of him so its best to just let him be.
Director: How did we end up hiring so many weirdos?
Veronica: I was wondering the same thing. Who hired the studio's security guard?
Pierre: There's a security guard?
Going Cough Script
[Smelly fog begins to rise around the group in the bog.]
Twilight: I told you there was nothing to worry about, and I was right. Pinkie Pie said whatever she was shuddering about was a [coughs] doozy, and [coughs] and the only [coughs] doozy here is how right I am!
Applejack: [Backing away towards Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Spike and looking up at the hydra rising from the bog.] Um… Twilight?
Twilight: Pinkie's made a lot of predictions today, but- [Twilight coughs again, but this time finds that she cannot stop.]
Spike: Twilight…? Do you need help?
Director: CUT!
Twilight: [Coughs some more] I'm sorry! [Sputters] It won't [cough] happen again!
(Credit to AkaiKamiRyu)
Stuck To You
Twilight: But what we've shown here is that there's no point in believing [cough] in anything you can't see for yourself.
Spike: W-Well t-then, s-see what's b-b-behind you, Twilight!
[Twilight turns around and looks up at the four hydra heads towering above her.]
Twilight: I see it! But I don't believe it!
[Three of the four hydra heads roar ferociously, but one of them misses the cue and roars a couple of seconds too late.]
Hydra Head #1: UGH! Darn it, Paul! We rehearsed this all night!
Hydra Head #2: I-I'm sorry. This is our first acting gig and I'm nervous!
Hydra Head #3: Get a grip, man! What if this gets us fired?!
Hydra Head #4: Will you all shut up?! People are looking at us funny.
Hydra Head #1: No, they're looking at Paul funny!
Hydra Head #2: Guys, I think I'm getting stage fright.
Hydra Head #4: Well don't!
Hydra Head #2: Stop yelling at me!
Director: See, this is why we shouldn't work with monsters so much.
Pierre: Hey sir, I kinda like this take.
Director: Oh? Why's that?
Pierre: It's kind of a blink-and-you'll miss it comedy thing. A hydra forgetting to roar is kinda funny.
Veronica: He raises a good point, sir.
Director: Hmm… you're right. Hey fellas!
[The hydra's stop arguing and turn to look at the director.]
Director: That was perfect. Now calm down or we're gonna get complaints about being too loud.
Hydra Head #2: Y-you mean it?!
#Hydra Head #1: Oh, so all my yelling was for nothing?!
Hydra Head #3: We're gonna be stars!
Dangit Paul
[Hydra Head #2 laughs at the other heads since they've all tried to eat the ponies and missed them.]
Hydra Head #1: Shut up, Paul! Mom liked you the least!
Hydra Head #2: [gasps] W-why would you say that?!
Hydra Head #3: Yeah Peter, that was incredibly uncalled for.
Hydra Head #4: Oh thank goodness, I thought she hated me the most.
Hydra Head #3: [sigh] I'm so sorry for my brothers' behaviour.
Director: Believe me, no one feels sorrier than me right now [swigs some soda].
Aim Could Use Work
[Twilight has ordered everyone to hop across to the other side of a ravine.]
Fluttershy: A hop, skip and a… jump! [Fluttershy springs across to the first, then the second rock across the gap.]
[Twilight picks Spike up and flings him across to the first rock. However, he bounces off it and begins to fall downwards.]
Twilight: Oh dear…
[A splash is heard from below.]
Twilight: Hehe… guess I'd better go get him [smiles sheepishly before teleporting away].
Director: [sighs in annoyance]
Splash Away
[Pinkie's Pinkie Sense is making her jitter uncontrollably, and she ends up bouncing right off the cliff. However, instead of hovering there like she's supposed to, she immediately plummets down into the bog.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight: [groans and teleports away again to get Pinkie back.]
Veronica: I… I don't understand. Why aren't we suspending her in the air somehow for that little scene?
Director: Turns out Pinkie can actually do some of this unbelievable physics-defying stuff. I try not to question it too much.
Veronica: But she just fell…
Director: Yeah, sometimes she just messes it up.
Veronica: ...okay...
Twilight's Tripping
Twilight: What would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do? [her face lights up in realization.]
[Smash cut to Twilight charging at the hydra whilst shouting a war cry at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, she loses her footing and trips, sliding across the ground on her face.]
Director: Oooh, cut!
Hydra Head #4: Now that's gotta hurt.
Isn't Teleporting Convenient?
[As Twilight gallops towards the cliff so she can jump to the other side, one of the hydra's heads lunges down towards her. Twilight tries to leap out of the way, however, the head rams into her side and sends her flying off the cliff.]
Director: CUT!
[Twilight teleports back onto the edge of the cliff.]
Twilight: I hope you all appreciate how hard it is to teleport whilst you're falling through the air.
Twilight Snaps
Veronica: Okay Twilight, I want to discuss this next scene with you.
Twilight: Oh thank goodness! Because there's something I want to talk about, too.
Veronica: Let me guess. You're annoyed that the script is going to force this moral by having you conveniently forget that you can teleport across the gorge?
Twilight: ...Yes, that's right. Could you please talk some sense into whoever's in charge of you guys and get them to rewrite this scene?
Veronica: [Scoffs] Believe me, it would be a pleasure to do that- but the Producer gets the final word, and she says that the scripts we receive are the final drafts and they absolutely cannot be changed.
Twilight: But… but that's ridiculous! If there's a mistake, it needs to be fixed! Even a complete idiot would agree!
Veronica: You know what the stupidest part is? The Producer agrees too, but she still refuses to make any changes!
Twilight: But why?! It makes no sense!
Veronica: She said some cryptic dung about how it would be wrong to change it. And the Director just goes with it. It drives me mad! But that's not what's important now. What's important is that we get this stunt right so we can get this day over with. So, for this, we're going to have you attached to a crane with strings.
Twilight: [Listens intently]
Veronica: You're gonna drop down to the bog below, where you'll be bounced back up by a giant bubble we made using glycerin and… a bunch of other chemicals with long names I'm not going to try to pronounce. After that, you'll bounce along the rocks to the other side.
Twilight: [Eye twitches and teeth chatter] Ph-ph-ph-physics…
Veronica: [Shushes Twilight] I know, Twilight. I know.
[FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER]
Twilight: No! No! No! [Can't jump far enough to reach the closest rock and falls down towards the bog. However, instead of bouncing off the bubble as planned, Twilight teleports out from the strings attached to her and reappears next to Pinkie on the other side of the gorge.]
Veronica: [Facepalms]
Director: CUT! Twilight, what the heck?!
Twilight: [Stomping her hooves] I just have to teleport! Holy Celestia, it's so simple. [she continues to ramble]
Director: I have a feeling this is going to take a while…
Veronica: But hey, notice that my stunt didn't go wrong.
Director: It hasn't really had a chance to go wrong yet.
[Beat]
Director: She's still whining, oh my God. How long is she gonna go on for.
Pierre: Well judging by how long she can talk whilst she and I are discussing World of Warcraft… you guys might want to grab a drink.
(Credit to 44Ever)
Bubble, Bubble, Toil, and Trouble
[Twilight falls down towards the bog after being unable to jump far enough over the gorge. She hurtles down into a huge bubble, but before it can bounce her back up, it pops and Twilight flops into the bog face-first.]
Director: CUT!
Pierre: You okay, Twilight?!
Twilight: [Lifts her head and spits out some mud] Oh, just peachy!
Veronica: Why did I think my crew could do this one simple thing without me overseeing them? Whoever made that bubble, I want you to try again and put as much... sciency thickening materials into that thing as possible! And then I'm going to have a stern talk with you all about your salaries!
[A myriad of groans ring out from amongst the crew.]
Director: And you say I'm hard on you all.
Pierre: I... don't think I ever said that to you.
Director: But you've said it to other people?
Pierre: Please don't eavesdrop on us, sir.
Twilight: [Getting carried away by Quinn] Who the heck is this guy, again?!
(Credit to AkaiKamiRyu)
Special Effects At Work
Pinkie: OW! Be careful, Flissy- you're stopping the blood flow in my back legs!
Felicity: Oops! Sorry… [Loosens the strings on Twilight's legs.]
Director: So, could you explain to Pierre exactly what it is you're doing with Pinkie and Twilight?
Pierre: What? Why should I care?
Director: Because everyone should know how special effects work.
Pierre: I already know the gist- why can't you just say that you have no idea what Fliss is doing and want help understanding.
Director: [Yells through megaphone] Unthinkable! I hope you have a horrible evening!
Felicity: Sir, if you wanna know, I'd be happy to give you an explanation. [Gets out her script] In this scene, Pinkie's meant to completely spazz out when the Doozy finally happens. I want the end result to be a surprise, but in order to make it happen we're gonna have to shake Pinkie around a little in the air. It should only take a couple of minutes if everything goes smoothly.
Pinkie: Ooooh! That sounds super fun!
Director: Yeah… alright I get it now. But why it Twilight tied up.
Felicity: Same reason. There's a moment where the script says "Twilight gets so mad she sets herself on fire." Obviously, we can't actually set her on fire, so instead I'm gonna use special effects! I figured we should just film both of those parts now since they only last a couple of seconds each. Is that alright?
Director: I don't see why not. Now, can I trust you to-
[All of a sudden, Pinkie lets out a long gasp]
Pinkie: Guys! My back's feeling tingly!
Twilight: Um… is that because you've got an itch there… or is it really your Pinkie Sense?
Pinkie: It's my Pinkie Sense alright. This one means someone's gonna trip!
Twilight: Oh no! Everybody keep still!
[Everyone freezes]
?: Hey! M-Ms. Veronica!
Pierre: Ack! Mike, stay away!
[Mike hurries over anyway]
Mike: H-have you guys seen Ms. Veronica? She t-texted me saying that she wanted to see me in thirty seconds and I don't know where- WHOA!
[He trips over one of the cable cameras and tumbles over. Pierre jumps up in time to stop the camera from falling down, but Mike slams into the dangling Twilight, who swings forward and collides with the dangling Pinkie, who is knocked out of the restraints keeping her aloft. She lands on her face with a painful sounding thud.]
[There is a long silence]
Felicity: I guess… I loosened those strings a little too much.
Mike: Oh my God, I-I-I'm so sorry! I was panicking, and I didn't look where I was going, and-
Pierre: Dude, just get out of here.
Mike: But Ms. Veronica's gonna get mad.
Pierre: So will the Director if you don't scram now.
Pinkie: I'm okay! It's gonna take more than that to defeat this money-making face! [She smiles at the camera]
[Derpy comes up to stand next to Mike.]
Derpy: Hey there, it's okay! I'm a big screw-up, too.
[Mike stays silent]
Derpy: I guess that wasn't very reassuring, huh?
Mike: Not really…
Derpy: Well, if ya want, I'll come with you to see Veronica. Maybe she won't get mad if I'm there, too?
Mike: ...it's worth a shot, I guess. [Smiles] Thank you, Ms. Derpy.
Derpy: Wow, you make my name sound so formal! Come on, let's get going!
Back to the Studio
Spike: [Picks up a scroll and takes a quill out of a pot of ink.]
Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, I am happy to report that-
[Spike stares at Twilight and Pinkie, confused]
Twilight: Spike, what have I been saying about focus? [stomps her hoof]
Spike: I know, but I… well…
Twilight: What's wrong, Spike? Never thought you'd see me with an umbrella hat on?
Spike: Not really, no.
Twilight: Pinkie's tail's a-twitchin'. What else can I do?
[They all laugh]
Twilight: [Taps the scroll Spike's holding to get him to pay attention] I am happy to report that I now realize-
Spike: Huh? Hey, wait! The ink's disappearing!
Twilight: Wha- [Checks and sees that Spike is right] why is…?
Pinkie: Hey, look! Spike, did you use invisible ink?
[Spike looks at the bottle of ink he retrieved the quill from.]
Spike: Huh? I wonder what that's doing there.
Director: Ugh. Did we seriously leave that lying around since the Gilda episode?
Tou-Mou: Nah, I totally put it there on purpose. [Snickers]
Director: YOU! [Vein bulges out of his forehead]
A Royal Failure
Twilight: I wonder what's gonna drop out of the sky this time.
Pinkie: You never know.
[The two mares walk away. Spike opens one of the library's windows and leans out of it so he can send off the letter to Celestia. However before he can do it, he notices something falling from above.]
Celestia: OH MY-!
[As Celestia slams down onto the platform outside the window, it completely breaks and she falls down to the ground below.]
Director: [Facepalm] Cut!
Pierre: It's impressive that she can somehow flub things up even when she has no lines.
Celestia: [Heaving herself up from the ground] It hurts that you see me as a failure, Pierre. I'll have you know that I am excellent at parkour!
Director: What does that have to do with anything?
Celestia: I'm not a failure! I swear!
Pierre: I'm just gonna cut before she has a mental breakdown.
Author's Note: Sorry for the wait on this one, folks. College has started again and so my writing time is limited, but I do hope this will be the last time it delays the story. The next episode is Sonic Rainboom, so make sure you send in some bloopers (or anything at all. Seriously, if you wanna review simply to tell me that I'm an idiot, go ahead. It's not like you'd be wrong ^u^).
Mouse's Musings: Feeling Pinkie Keen is one of my favourite episodes of season one (it's gotta be in my top 3 episodes of this season) mainly because of the slapstick. I don't remember watching this episode for the first time, but I'm sure that when I did I was laughing my butt off at Twilight getting tortured. Don't look at me like that- I grew up watching the Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry; it would be weird if I didn't like slapstick.
Now it's hard to talk about this episode without bringing up the controversy around it; a controversy that I personally didn't even notice until I was flat-out told about it (I'm a bit dense, you see). This was probably the first episode that got this sort of reaction out of the adult fandom, and I guess I can kinda see why? I mean, if you look deeply enough at this episode it's easy to understand how some people could see it as a "pro-faith" message. I mean, I attended a Christian school so I've seen many stories where someone expresses doubt in the existence of higher power and then they get punished until they just give in and accept that it's real. Sounds sorta familiar, huh? But I'm very sure that wasn't the intention, and even if it was, you could always take it as a lesson about letting people believe in what they want and just learning to be okay with that.
I do apologize if this chapter wasn't as fun as I'd hyped it up to be, but I guess you could blame it on a mix of the episode being naturally full of calamities already and me being in a rush to get this out. I've also been trying to weave more character interactions outside of the bloopers into the story, but I don't want that to overshadow the bloopers themselves. Like seriously, if I'm being annoying, please tell me so I can fix these things. I try splitting these Musings into me talking about the episode and then talking about the chapter, but I feel like nothing new was really accomplished this time (which is fine, I guess) aside from the introduction of Quinn and some more time with Veronica and Mike.
Also, wish me luck figuring out a way for the crew to walk on clouds in the next episode! :'D