It took every ounce of Suzanne's willpower not to fucking slam the door of Damon's car shut once they finally arrived at the bar they had been driving to. The only reason she didn't was because her head felt like it was about to explode.

Looking up at the sign of the bar, Suzanne felt yet another pang of annoyance. They were carting around a fucking teenager. Obviously they were there to ask Damon's old fuckbuddy for her magical help to let Katherine out of the tomb, but they weren't going to have just ignored that they were in a bar. But now, instead of drinking and fun, they would have to –what? Keep an eye on her? It was infuriating.

Speaking of drinking, however, she was in a predicament. After being drunk for 15 hours straight, Suzanne had nodded off for the last five hours of their drive. Because of that, she woke up really, really, really painfully hungover. The thought of even using Purell made her want to vomit.

For a moment as the three of them walked up to the bar, Suzanne wondered if Damon's blood could cure a hangover. She had actually had his blood before, and as weird as it was, it didn't disgust her or anything. She'd swallowed her own blood while biting her tongue, and it wasn't all that different. Suzanne was thinking about asking him to give her a bottle to keep at home for when she got hurt. It was fucking awesome when the crooked and purple toes she'd broken had realigned themselves.

Of course Damon had made fun of her for half an hour for kicking the corner of her kitchen table and breaking three toes.

Glancing up at the sign labelled "Bree's Bar", Suzanne did admittedly feel a subdued pang of excitement. Damon had actually been fairly complimentary when he'd described the witch who owned the place, meaning she had to be super fucking awesome. Though obviously half of his details had been how good the woman was in bed.

Suzanne felt a little weird meeting someone that she already knew could put her feet behind her head.

Deciding to completely ignore Damon and Elena, Suzanne strode into the bar, letting out a sigh of relief when she could no longer hear the whining of the doppelgänger and Damon's comments that were obviously trying to rile her up.

Suzanne immediately walked up to the bar's counter and hopped onto a stool, leaning forward to put her elbows against the wood before propping her chin up with both hands.

"Are you the lovely Bree I've heard so much about?"

The woman who had been wiping down what looked and smelled like a puddle of spilled beer on the opposite side of the bar turned to Suzanne while letting out a rasping laugh. With raised eyebrows the woman immediately quipped, "All good things, I'm sure?"

Suzanne snorted and moved her eyebrows up and down exaggeratedly while very obviously looking the witch up and down before saying in a drawling tone, "Oh lovely lady, all sorts of good things."

When Bree opened her mouth to respond, she was cut off by an amused shout.

"Suze! Are you trying to move in on my ex?"

"No. No, it can't be. Damon. My honey pie."

Bree leaned in and immediately the two of them began making out. However when Bree pulled back she announced to the entire bar, "Listen up everybody! Here's to the man that broke my heart, crushed my soul, destroyed my life, and ruined any and all chances of happiness! Drink up!"

Suzanne very literally had to slap her hand over her mouth to keep from gagging when Bree placed a shot in front of her. Everyone around her threw back their drinks and cheered, but Suzanne just clenched her other fist. Bree gave her a look before sliding the shot back and taking it herself. When she looked back at Suzanne a small, sympathetic smile covered her face.

"Hungover?"

Suzanne pulled her hand away and groaned as she said, "My very soul is hungover, witchy."

After speaking Suzanne felt her eyes widen, unsure if the woman would be upset that she knew about her status as a magical being. However the only response was a cocked eyebrow before Bree tipped her head in Damon and Elena's direction. Suzanne followed her line of sight and saw that the two of them were bickering. She let out an annoyed sigh and felt seriously tempted to throw some of the bar peanuts at them. Jesus Christ, this was not anywhere near as fun as Suzanne had been hoping it would be. Bree opened her mouth, probably to ask about the situation, so Suzanne answered the unvoiced question.

"She's dating Damon's brother and we picked her up on the way here. A total buzzkill."

Bree snorted and looked amused, so Suzanne thought it would be the right time to actually introduce herself properly.

"I'm Suzanne, Damon's best friend and platonic soulmate. And once he disengages from the doppelgänger he'll explain why we're here. He told me about you, and was very complimentary. Weird to imagine him creeping around on a college campus, though."

The witch looked at her closely, as if measuring her sincerity, before deciding that Suzanne had passed whatever silent test she'd been given.

"Give me a second. My hangover cures are more than magical, baby."

Without saying anything else, Bree turned around and reached down underneath the liquor storage into a cabinet. Suzanne felt no shame as she glanced at the woman's phenomenal ass. With ease that made it clear that she had been bartending for a while, the witch mixed something together. As soon as she placed it in front of her, Suzanne got the sense that the drink wasn't the sort of thing someone could find in a supermarket. Wide eyed, she looked up and locked eyes with Bree.

"Is this a magical hangover curing potion?"

The older woman looked entertained but answered calmly when she said, "Yes."

It took Suzanne approximately six seconds to chug the entire glass of not-quite-pleasant tasting liquid, but its effect was immediately. As her headache disappeared and the soreness left her limbs, Suzanne decided that Bree was her new favorite person.

"I am so serious pretty lady, you can sit on my face for hours."

Of course the was the moment that Damon and Elena wandered over. The high schooler looked absolutely floored and incredulously said to herself, "Are you - did you - oh my god."

Suzanne whipped around to glare at the teenager and saw that Damon was giving her a similar scathing look with dark veins already spreading underneath his eyes. Not needing Damon to step in, Suzanne deliberately kept her voice very falsely pleasant when she said, "You have a problem with me fucking women?"

To her credit, Elena's mouth dropped open and she actually looked a little offended when she said, "Of course not! But you were just so - inappropriate."

And alright, that was true. Suzanne's absurd pick up lines either received an interested smirk or an offended look. So she decided not to hold it against the teenager and shrugged to acknowledge that the girl was right. Before any other random comments could be made about Suzanne's sexuality, Bree cut into the conversation.

"So, what is it that you want?"

To her relief Elena had to walk outside at that moment to talk to her aunt. Suzanne let her mind wander for a second, trying to picture the woman. Caroline had already confided in her that Jenna knew she and Damon weren't actually together. Of course Suzanne had immediately told Caroline not to let Damon know, but after scoping out Jenna, Suzanne really didn't think it would be an issue. The woman was young and pretty hot, even if she radiated heterosexuality.

Suzanne zoned back into the conversation when she heard Damon's tone get a little bit strained. Seeing as the topic was the oh-so-wonderful Katherine, it wasn't exactly a surprise.

"Come on, there's gotta be another way."

Bree responded in a somewhat amused tone when she said, "After all these years, it's still only Katherine."

Bree was clearly going to keep speaking, but Suzanne just couldn't hold in her glee to find another person who didn't like the bitchy female vampire so she smacked her hand against the bar top and groaned melodramatically before fake whispering in a conspiring tone, "I know right! Our handsome young man over here could have anyone! Greener pastures and all that."

Damon didn't look away from Bree when he pleasantly said, "It would take me five seconds to tear out your heart, Suze."

Bree's eyes widened at that and she seemed even more caught off guard when Suzanne's only response was to lean over to obnoxiously kiss his cheek and lean against him before saying in a lofty voice, "Oh sweetheart, why do you have to be so cold?"

The witch seemed to finally answer Damon's question when she said in a resigned voice, "I already told you what had to happen to open the tomb. Twenty years ago. Remember? Three easy steps: Comet. Crystal. Spell."

Damon let out an annoyed groan and slumped onto Suzanne, who let out a surprised squeak and had to tightly grip the bar not to fall on her ass.

"There's a little problem with number two. I don't have the crystal."

Bree looked back and forth between the two and seemed to be assessing them. If the witch had really gotten to know Damon back in college, Suzanne wasn't surprised by her apparent skepticism or confusion in regard to their relationship. Damon and she were... an interesting combination when they were together.

When she spoke, Bree seemed sincere and said, "It's Emily's spell, baby. It has to be the original crystal, the comet, and the spell. There isn't any other way."

She nodded at them, signaling that the subject was closed for the time being, and walked to the other side of the bar to serve other patrons. Suzanne nudged Damon's shoulder and kept her voice quiet when she earnestly said, "Hey, we know that there is a way. I can't really be anything but moral support, but you're crafty enough to find the ingredients. I believe in you, you're the best, blah blah blah."

Damon snorted but made it clear a second later that he acknowledged the sentiment when he reached down and laced their fingers together for a second. However after a minute or two of silence he abruptly stood up and began strutting towards a booth that Suzanne realized the doppelgänger was inhabiting, absorbed in her phone. So apparently it was time for him to badger the teenage barnacle.

After she'd received a fairly lackluster salad, Suzanne dug in and decided to just observe the hilarious interaction going on in front of her.

"Let's just say that I'm descended from Katherine...does that make me part vampire?"

"Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try."

Without saying anything, Suzanne held up her hand and gave him a fist bump.

Of course Damon went on to taunt Elena and was playing up the whole douchebag thing. And then the doppelgänger sank any modicum of upbeat attitude when she pouted and seemed far too serious as she said, "This nice act. Is any of it real?"

Suzanne finally cut in at that. Literally as well as figuratively, actually, as she made a chopping motion between them. Elena flinched and leaned back, as if forgetting that Suzanne had been there - rude.

"Cut the dramatic antics, Gilbert. Damon is the shit. Not his fault you and Stefan are too vanilla to see it."

Elena look both surprised and offended but before she could say anything Bree interrupted, having brought a beer for Damon.

Suzanne smiled widely, having decided that Bree was fantastic and made sure to be polite and convey her appreciation - that hangover potion was so, so fucking cool - as she pulled out a twenty and said, "Can I please have two double-vodka Diet Cokes?"

Bree nodded and grabbed the bill, but before she turned away Elena said, "I'll have one too."

The witch raised an eyebrow but Suzanne had reached to end of her meager patience. They had taken the high school student along on their road trip and basically ruined it. She was not feeling at all generous towards the uppity girl, so she turned to Bree and said flatly, "She is sixteen. She won't be having one."

Before Elena could so much as open her mouth, Damon burst into laughter and they high fived approximately eight inches in front of the offended teenager's face.

This entire story was deleted from my computer, so rewriting it will slow down the updates a little bit. But they won't be nearly so far apart again. ALSO: this story will always be a platonic Suzamon relationship - so I'm posting an alternate spin off short story that is Suze/Damon romantically. Enjoy ;)