Stare Master
Intro
[The Director sits down in his chair. Next to him, Pierre is setting up his camera.]
Pierre: [Looks at the Director, who seems to be answering a text, looking rather… calm.]
Director: [Slowly looks up at Pierre] What are you staring at me for?
Pierre: Because you're being quiet, and it's weird. Has something happened?
Director: What's happened is that I've been waiting for this episode for weeks. This is like, the one episode I feel like I'll survive filming.
Pierre: Why is that? [He looks over as the studio doors open and Rarity comes in with Sweetie Belle.]
Director: You see, because this is the show's first season, our budget isn't exactly what we wanted it to be. So there are a few episodes where we save money by keeping things simple. Not many settings, not many characters, you understand, right?
Rarity: I couldn't help but overhear! [Rarity calls over to the two men as Sweetie Belle hurries off to the changing rooms.] Is that why this place feels so empty today?
Director: That's right. So since there's not as much to do, we should get through this quickly and with very little disruptions. So let's just enjoy ourselves today because the peace won't last long.
Rarity: It's so lovely to see this attitude from you, sir! It suits you well.
Director: [Opens a can of soda and raises it above his head.] Here's to a nice, relaxing episode! Maybe!
Fashion Disasters
[Sweetie Belle watches as Rarity runs frantically from one side of the boutique to the other.]
Rarity: [Running whilst carrying some fabric] Where'd I put that? [Running back with two buckets of gems] Oh, I thought I'd already-
[Rarity then trips, spilling the gems all over the floor and crying out in pain.]
Director: Cut!
Attack the Marshmallow!
Rarity: Ribbon! Ribbon! Where's the ribbon?!
Sweetie Belle: I got it! [She stands precariously on a stool and uses Rarity's sewing machine to balance as she reaches up to grab a spool of ribbon. However, she accidentally knocks it off its shelf.] Whoa!
[The spool knocks over a mannequin, which falls onto an ironing board, which fires a few balls of wool towards the shelf, which knocks some rolls of fabric down off it. Rarity begins dodging all of the stuff that's being flung in her direction, but she ends up getting hit by her sewing machine and gets knocked to the ground.]
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Yowch. That looked like it hurt!
Rarity: [Still on the floor] How long have we been filming?
Director: Uh… [Checks his phone] About three minutes.
Rarity: [Whimpers]
This is not a good day for Rarity
[Fluttershy has brought Opalescence back to Rarity after grooming her. The cat is affectionately rubbing her cheek against Fluttershy's leg.]
Rarity: Oh, she looks great! I just don't understand how you're able to do it! I can't get near her without getting a swipe from her claws.
[Tempting fate, Rarity leans close to Opal and, predictably, the cat swipes at her. Unfortunately, instead of avoiding the attack, Opal's claws strike Rarity on the muzzle.]
Rarity: Gah! Blood! I feel blood! [starts freaking out]
Fluttershy: Um, actually, she didn't draw any bl-
Rarity: Nurse! Help me! [Faints backward.]
Director: …what a drama queen.
Pierre: Well she is an actress.
Director: Yeah, I just wish she didn't make it so obvious that she's only done stage shows before now.
Pierre: I dunno, I think it fits the character well. Let's give Rarity a fainting couch or something!
Director: No.
Animals, eh?
Rarity: [To Fluttershy] You should have a picture of Opal as a Cutie Mark instead of those butterflies.
Sweetie Belle: [Goes over to stand next to Opal] Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Maybe I can be good with animals, too!
[Pause]
Fluttershy: [Nudges Opal a little]
Opal: [Starts grooming herself]
Director: Ugh. Getting cats to do what you want them to is like… well, herding cats.
Fluttershy: Heh. If only The Stare was real, then I could get Opal to swipe at Sweetie Belle.
Director: Well it's not, so come up with an idea that's actually useful!
Property Damage
Rarity: [Walking over to the other side of the room] I've got twenty of these special robes to make tonight! They're due in Trottingham tomorrow morning.
[She picks up a sheet of golden silk and straightens it out so that it's all the camera can see. Unfortunately, Rarity opens it up too close to the camera and knocks it completely off its stand. Pierre lets out a high pitched squeal and dives to catch it before it hits the ground.]
Director: CUT!
Pierre: Dang it, Rarity, do you have any idea how much this camera cost?!
Rarity: No!
[Pierre whispers something into Rarity's ear and the unicorn's eyes bulge out.]
Rarity: That much for a hunk of metal.
[Pierre gasps, insulted, and they start to bicker.]
Director: [Facepalms]
Filly Pile
Fluttershy: [Beginning to walk out the door] Well, maybe I should get out of your mane so you can work?
[Then, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom zoom in through the door, but instead of running past Fluttershy, they run directly into her, causing them all to fall into a heap.]
Director: Ugh. Cut!
The Neck's Best Thing
Fluttershy: I, uh… I suppose I could take them for the night?
[As Rarity and Fluttershy talk, the Crusaders stand between them, turning their heads to look at Rarity as she speaks.]
Rarity: I couldn't ask you to do that.
[The Crusaders turn to look at Fluttershy.]
Fluttershy: Oh, it's no problem at all.
[The kids look back at Rarity.]
Rarity: Have you met my sister and her friends? A problem is all it would be!
[Then they look at Fluttershy again.]
Fluttershy: Did I have a problem with Opal? You've seen how well I handle small creatures.
[Then back at Rarity.]
Rarity: I suppose that's true… and I do have a lot of work to do.
[They look back at Fluttershy, however, Scootaloo flinches in pain.]
Scootaloo: YOW! My neck! [Rubs the side of her neck, wincing at the soreness of it.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight, Meet the Ground
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders rush ahead of Fluttershy as they head to the pegasus' cottage. They whizz past Twilight Sparkle, sending her into a spin. She tries to regain her balance, but ends up tipping over and falling on her face.]
Director: Cut!
Twilight: [Lifting her face off the floor] I think I swallowed some gravel.
Basket of Mistakes
[Scootaloo leaps into a pet bed that Angel Bunny is sleeping in, frightening him into hopping out of the way.]
Scootaloo: I'm gonna stay up all night!
Apple Bloom: [Jumps in next to her] Me too!
Sweetie Belle: [Jumps in beside them] Me- GAH! [Sweetie Belle bumps into Apple Bloom, who falls into Scootaloo, who tumbles out of the basket.] Hehe… oops.
Director: Cut!
Bird Box (Pony Edition)
Fluttershy: Oh, be careful with the- [She stops Apple Bloom from tipping over a chair. Then she turns to see Sweetie Belle with her head stuck inside a bird box.] oh, ah, girls…
[Sweetie Belle tries to pull her head out of the bird box, but has no luck.]
Sweetie Belle: [muffled] I think I'm stuck!
Director: Oh for crying out loud! Fluttershy, get her out of there.
[Fluttershy flies up to the bird box and grabs Sweetie Belle around her middle, tugging a little to try and free her.]
Sweetie Belle: Ow! Ow! OwowowowoOW!
Fluttershy: [Stops pulling] I can't!
Director: Oh boy. [Yells through megaphone] Peng, get the saw!
Tou-Mou: [In the distance] I'm on it!
Sweetie Belle: What?! Saw?! [She starts wriggling and thrashing around like crazy until eventually she breaks the bird box apart herself and falls into Fluttershy's grasp.]
Director: There we go- no one got hurt. Peng, you can put the saw away.
Tou-Mou: [Slouching disappoitedly] Dang it, I never get to be the hero.
Director: Of course not, you're a carpenter. When has a carpenter ever been useful?
Tou-Mou: [Lightly smacks the side of the saw against the palm of her hand] I'm going to break into your house someday and take apart one of your chairs. You won't know when I'll do it or which chair I'll pick, so any time you sit down you're at risk of breaking your butt.
Director: ...let's just move on.
Cutie Mark Crusaders Carpet Killers
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders are running around Fluttershy's cottage- Sweetie Belle is being chased by Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, the latter of whom is standing on top of the former with a rug over the pair of them to make them look like a creepy creature.]
Fluttershy: Now girls, how about we do some nice coloring?
[Sweetie Belle then jumps on her back, and Fluttershy is crushed to the ground.]
Director: Cut! Seriously Fluttershy, she's just a filly!
Fluttershy: [Weakly] I have very brittle bones.
Fluttershy Loses
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders have just failed to rebuild Fluttershy's broken table.]
Fluttershy: Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about a game?
Apple Bloom: A game?
Fluttershy: It's called "Shhh!"
[The CMC sit on Fluttershy's sofa.]
Scootaloo: What's that?
Fluttershy: Well, it's a game about who can be quiet the longest. Sound fun?
[The CMC don't look very excited to play this game.]
Fluttershy: I'm the world champ! I bet you can't beat me! [Fluttershy takes a deep breath, preparing to remain quiet, but she ends up choking on the air and breaking into a series of sputtering coughs.]
CMC: [Altogether] We win!
Director: CUT!
(Credit to Aceman88)
Hush Now, Quiet Now
[Fluttershy has managed to get the Cutie Mark Crusaders to go to bed.]
Apple Bloom: How are we gonna find our special talent in our sleep?
Fluttershy: [Blows out candle] Maybe you'll have a lovely little dream about your special talent.
Scootaloo: But we're not even tired!
Fluttershy: How about I sing you a lullaby?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm, yeah!
Fluttershy: [Clears throat]
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head,
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to go to bed.
Fluttershy: [Waits for Sweetie Belle to say her line, but she doesn't say a thing.] Hm?
[Looking at the three fillies, Fluttershy sees that they have all fallen asleep. Glancing around the studio, Fluttershy also sees that the Director has fallen asleep in his seat, Pierre is slumped against the Director, also sleeping. Rarity and Twilight have both curled up on the floor, Mike has fallen asleep standing up- the entirety of the cast and crew was completely unconscious.]
Fluttershy: Wow, I'm good! [Looks around, admiring what she's done.]
Fluttershy vs. the Chickens
[After the CMC cause all the chickens to panic and scatter around their coop, Fluttershy gathers all of them up outside the hen house, but they won't go back inside.]
Fluttershy: Come on, in you go.
[The chickens still won't go inside. Fluttershy frowns and approaches the chickens, widening her eyes and glaring at them menacingly. The chickens look terrified until-]
Fluttershy: Gah! Dry eyes! Dry eyes! [Fluttershy claps her hooves over her eyes and rubs them.]
Director: Cut!
Metal Gear Scootaloo
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders sneak down the stairs, wanting to make it outside so they can go looking for Fluttershy's missing chicken. Fluttershy is resting on her sofa, talking to herself, and they try to creep behind it to escape.]
Fluttershy: [Sighs] It really wasn't that hard... I mean, all I needed to do was just show them who's in charge. Nothing's gonna get past Fluttershy! I'm good with animals, I'm good with-"
Scootaloo: OOF!
[Scootaloo bumps into a table, and a picture frame on top of it falls down onto the floor.]
Director: CUT! Did that thing break?
Scootaloo: [Picks up the frame and examines it.] Nope, it's fine. [Raises a brow] Why does this have a picture of a spoon in it?
Director: [Stays silent]
Everyone else: [Stares at him]
Director: [Shrugs] ...I thought it would be funny.
Tou-Mou: [Takes the picture frame from Scootaloo.] Let's just leave this empty.
(Credit to Mlpgirl2002)
What the-
[In the Everfree Forest, Apple Bloom is trying to call out for the chicken.]
Scootaloo: That is not how you call a chicken.
Apple Bloom: Oh, and you know how to call a chicken?
Scootaloo: I know that's not the way.
Apple Bloom: Then show me.
Scootaloo: I don't have to show you!
Apple Bloom: You're just chicken!
Scootaloo: Am not!
Apple Bloom: Oh, wait, now I know how to call a chicken! [Apple Bloom calls out] Scootaloo! Scoot-scootalooooo!
?: Yes?!
[Everyone looks as… Scootaloo runs onto the set.]
Scootaloo: Hey! Did you guys start filming without me?!
[The orange filly spots the other Scootaloo standing behind Apple Bloom.]
Scootaloo: Huh? Who are you? You're me? But I'm me- this makes no sense?!
Director: [Yells through megaphone] What is going on?!
Scootaloo: I-I don't know…
Apple Bloom: Which one of you is the real Scootaloo?! This is freaky!
[Suddenly, the Scootaloo that's standing behind Apple Bloom jerks her head from side to side.]
Apple Bloom: [Backs away] Wh-what…?
[Scootaloo's neck suddenly spins around and falls off her body. Everyone else looks completely mortified. Suddenly…]
Director: HUH?!
[A chicken pokes its head out of Scootaloo's neck and clucks. As everyone stares in silence, the chicken hops down onto the floor and skitters away, leaving a trail of feathers behind it.]
[Nobody says a thing as they all process what the almighty entire hell they just witnessed.]
[Silence]
[More silence]
[Even more silence]
Director: WHAT THE F-
Effects Gone Horribly Right
[Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are bickering.]
Sweetie Belle: [Standing underneath a dead tree that looks suspiciously like a clawed hand.] Come on, guys, we're not gonna find the chicken or our cutie marks by arguing.
[The tree (which was animatronic) bends over and the branches grab at Sweetie Belle; however, instead of missing her, the tree scoops Sweetie Belle up by her cape. It ends up tightening around her throat.]
Sweetie Belle: [Panicking and struggling] Not like this! Not like this!
[Rarity dashes onto the stage, freaking out and levitating Sweetie Belle down to the ground. The filly clutches her leg- her face turning a little blue.]
Director: [Yelling through the megaphone] Who the heck was in charge of that animatronic?! You almost asphyxiated a little girl.
[Everyone turns to look at the special effects booth, where Felicity is staring out, looking mortified.]
Felicity: Um… [She slowly ducks down, hiding beneath the control panel.]
Rarity: [Charges at the effects booth, roaring] I'm going to destroy you!
Pierre: Oh snap! [Cuts camera]
Just This Once, Please?
[Fluttershy is running through the forest, afraid when she sees the silhouette of Twilight Sparkle in the distance.]
Fluttershy: Twilight?! I-is that you?
[She runs closer.]
Fluttershy: Oh Twilight, it is you! Thank goodness you're here; I need your help! The girls are out here somewhere and I'm afraid that they're-
[Suddenly, the moonlight shines down on the forest, revealing that Twilight has somehow been turned to stone.]
Fluttershy: [Gasps] What's happened to you? [She nudges Twilight, and the frozen unicorn falls over, landing on Fluttershy's tail.] Oh dear! Can I get some help? [The pegasus tries to tug her tail out from underneath the Twilight statue, but can't manage.]
Director: Cut! Pierre, can you handle that?
Pierre: On it! [He dashes over to Fluttershy and starts trying to heave the statue off of her tail.] Dang, this thing's heavy. [He manages to lift it high enough so that Fluttershy can move her tail out from under it.]
Director: Nice job, noodle arms.
Pierre: Hey, I'm not that scrawny!
Director: Then stand the statue up.
Pierre: Fine! [He tried to upright the statue, but he doesn't quite have the strength. Then, Felicity runs over.] Hey, what's your problem? I'm trying to prove my arms aren't useless here!
Felicity: [Snappy] And I need to make up for my mistake earlier, so let me help!
[Pierre doesn't argue, and together the pair manage to make the statue stand up again.]
Apple Bloom: Hey, how did ya make a full-sized stone mold of Twilight, anyway?
Director: We commissioned a guy to make it. Didn't expect it to come out looking so realistic.
Tou-Mou: Huh. [Pushes her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose] And here I was thinking that Twilight just got stoned.
Director: [Throws his megaphone at her] Get the heck outta here!
Puppet Problems
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders run after the chicken, doing their best chicken calls. They come to a stop and look around to see where the chicken went.]
Sweetie Belle: [Pointing a hoof toward a bush, where the chicken is hiding.] There it is!
[Then, the head of another chicken emerges from another nearby bush. The CMC look confused.]
Scootaloo: Two chickens?
Apple Bloom: I thought only one escaped. Grab them both!
[Sweetie Belle goes to grab one of the chickens but it hides deeper in the bush. Apple Bloom goes over to the other chicken, but it begins to rise eerily out of the bus, revealing a slithering snake-like body and reptilian wings. The three fillies begin to look disturbed. All of a sudden, the cockatrice's tail gets snagged in the bush.]
Twilight: Dangit!
[The cockatrice is actually a puppet being levitated into the air by its strings by Twilight.]
Twilight: [Tugs on the strings] Can one of you girls unhook its tail?
Scootaloo: I'm on it.
Pierre: Maybe we should have hired a professional puppeteer.
Director: I'll think about it.
Pierre: Or maybe we should get a real cockatrice.
Director: [Hits him with the megaphone] Out of the question! You should feel ashamed of yourself!
That Didn't Take Long
[The cockatrice starts heading towards Fluttershy and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.]
Fluttershy: Girls! Behind me, now!
[As the three fillies cower behind Fluttershy, the cockatrice gets even closer, but then-]
Twilight: Oh come on! [The puppet falls off its strings and flops down to the ground.]
Director: Cut! Who the hell makes a realistic-looking cockatrice puppet and then forgets to add strong strings to it?!
Pierre: I'll email the puppet dude and see if he can fix this.
Tou-Mou: Well hey, it looks like you can't blame me for this one, sir.
Director: I thought I told you to get out!
(Credit to GuardianAngel1234567)
Ultimate Staring Contest
Fluttershy: [Steps toward the cockatrice] You! Just who do you think you are, going around turning others into stone?
[The cockatrice squawks and stares intensely at Fluttershy, but the yellow pegasus is one hell of a match for it.]
[There is a long silence]
Twilight: Um… Fluttershy?
[Fluttershy continues to stare at the puppet.]
Twilight: Fluttershy, can you… say the next line?
[The staring continues.]
Twilight: Fluttershy, this is nuts.
[More staring.]
Twilight: [Sighs and ties the puppet to a branch] I'm leaving.
Director: How long is this going to go…?
[The staring contest went on for an entire two days. A lot of time was wasted, a lot of questions were asked about the state of Fluttershy's brain, and Fluttershy herself broke the world record for the longest time gone without blinking. (A/N: Fun fact, the real-life record for this is held by a man who goes by the nickname 'Eyesore'. The man who has the second-longest no-blinking record is called 'Stare Master'.)]
Feline Uncooperative
[The following morning, Rarity has come to collect the CMC. She is astonished by how easily Fluttershy can get the girls to collect their things so they can leave.]
Rarity: Ah, huh, ah, how did you... how did you do that?
[Fluttershy shares a knowing wink with Twilight over her shoulder.]
Fluttershy: I guess I'm just as good with kids as I am with animals.
[The Cutie Mark Crusaders run past the adults.]
Rarity: [To Fluttershy] Ah, uh, speaking of which, I could use your help with Opal.
Fluttershy: Of course. How about later today?
[The cat meows from somewhere. Rarity turns to show Opal clinging to her flank, but before Rarity can deliver her line, the cat lets go and drops down to the ground, beginning to groom herself.]
Director: CUT!
Rarity: How are we going to get her to hold on? It hurts when her claws dig into me like that.
Director: Well, it's a cat, Rarity. This could take hours.
Rarity: Oh sweet Celestia…
Pierre: On that note, I'm going to get a drink. [Switches off the camera.]
Endnote: Well that took a while. Not sure if I did well enough with this chapter but it's been long enough and this story needs an update. Also, guys, it's already March… time is going too fast and I hate it. Also, the last season of MLP has been announced, so I hope everyone who's still watching the show enjoys it. Anyway, the next episode is The Show Stoppers, so send me your blooper ideas if you have any- you know the drill by now. Don't be shy; I'm nice and won't bite you :3
Mouse's Musings:Not gonna lie guys, this chapter was hard to do. I had to force myself to write the majority of it and I didn't have much fun because this episode is really boring to me. I'm not even really sure what to write for this segment, really… okay, what did I like? I thought that the dynamic between the CMC and Fluttershy was cute, especially at the end, and the cockatrice was scary for a few seconds with the way it slithered out of the bush. I guess the song was pretty entertaining as well- it introduced Sweetie Belle's love of singing and was quite amusing to watch. I also liked that Twilight name-dropped Zecora at one point to show that they're still hanging out. However, I found the CMC a little obnoxious in this episode; but hey, they're little kids and all little kids are annoying. I was an annoying kid, you were an annoying kid, the old woman who gives you evil looks at the grocery store was an annoying kid. I guess that Fluttershy's Stare was a cool (if unusual) power to give the character, seeing as how she's the complete opposite of intimidating but somehow she can stare down weird Medusa chickens. It's kind of funny that Fluttershy has a strange ability that goes against her personality- it's just a shame that they hardly bring it up after this. Yeah, that's a problem I have; The Stare is introduced and it's barely mentioned ever again, meaning that this episode was almost completely pointless. I guess you could argue that Fluttershy learned a lesson about being more assertive, but it's not like she's not gonna learn similar lessons in the future. Oh well, at least we'll see the return of The Stare in Bats!, am I right? Hehe… gosh, that's a long way off.
Didn't do much world building in this chapter again, and I guess I could have this time, but I couldn't find a good place to slip any in. I really want to expand on the relationships between the ponies and the crew members, but haven't quite done enough yet, with the exception of Mike and Derpy and arguably the Director and Rainbow Dash. It's finding ways to slip these moments in that's hard; I mean, Twilight and Pierre exchange books from time to time- it's pointless information, but I think it helps build the world. I don't want there to be too big of a dissonance between the ponies and the people because even I'm guilty of forgetting that this story is set in a shared cartoon universe (when was the last time I included an unnecessary Pokemon reference, eh?). And hell, I have established relationships to… um, establish, at some point. That being said, I have a lot of chapters left to improve on all this stuff, and I'm open to any suggestions from you guys.
Also, I found out recently that a couple of people ship Pinkie Pie with the Director, and I think that's pretty cute- I gotta make them interact more. I believe that every ship is valid, so ship away! xD