Chapter 19 : What Then ?

Gideon feels like he's going crazy.

He and Judy had a discussion about not avoiding each other less than two weeks ago, and now he feels like she's the one trying not to be in the same space as him.

He could go and ask her, he actually did try, but she didn't have time, she had go to class, to do sport, to do chores...

Fortunately, there are two other people he can actually go and ask about things. Making his way through the school yard, he easily finds Bobby and Sharla on the bench they usually hang out on. Judy isn't there, and it makes him wonder if she's avoiding them too.

"Uhm, guys ?"

"Yes ?" Reacts the ewe.

"Is, erh… Ya think Judy's actin' strange ? 'Cuz, you know, I think she's kinda avoidin' me."

The cougar and ewe exchange a glance.

"Have you talked to her about it ?"

"Yeah, but when I do, she tells me everythin's fine."

"Do you think she's lying ?"

"I… I dunno. I guess if there's a problem she'd tell me… Or you know, it's private, and she can't… I guess I'm just worried."

"Hey, if she has something to tell you, she'll do so, you know here." Smiles Bobby. "In the meantime, maybe you should give her time to process whatever she's going through."

"You know what's goin' on ?"

Sharla ligtly elbows him in the ribs as he opens his mouth, shaking her head when he glances her way.

"I… Not really. You know how she is, she tends to like to take care of her own problems."

The tod's shoulders sag. Maybe he's been too pushy… Maybe the tutoring is actually taking too much of her time…

"Okay… Just, I don't want it to be weird, you know ?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Listen, I gotta to class, but can you make sure she's alright ? Even if she won't tell me, I'm sure she'll talk to you since yer closer and everytin'."

"Don't worry, buddy. You can count on us."

With a little wave, the tod walks away.

"Don't you think we should tell him ?" Asks the cougar in a low voice.

"It's between them. I'm not against a nudge, but I couldn't think of anything… If you had a crush on someone, you'd like Judy or me to tell them ?"

"Erh..."

"Besides, what if he's really interested by this Hester ? If we tell him, he'll get weird and he'll avoid her too."

"Yeah, but what if he isn't ?" Asks Bobby.

"Why would he go to prom with her then ?"

"Because she asked him and she's pretty." The cat shrugs.

"That's enough reason ?"

"For most guys, yeah, pretty much."

Sharla pulls on her wool. "You guys would date a tree if it asked you out."

"I wish I could say you're wrong."

After a giggle, Sharla's expression returns to serious. "Either way, Judy won't feel better unless she puts this behind her. She needs to tell him."

"And what if they date ? Are you really okay with that ?"

"At this point, I don't really have a problem with him anymore. I just want Judy to stop being so mopy." Huffs Sharla. "I really thought he had a thing for her too."

"Yeah, so did I."

Hester has been watching Gideon.

Well, not watching, but keeping an eye on him.

Since she's started talking, or more often, texting him, his attitude changed a bit. He seems stressed out and tired… Did his friends give him a hard time because of her asking him to prom ?

She's not close enough to him to go ahead and just ask about it, but she can't let that situation simmer either…

So maybe she can try something else. Taking her phone out, starts typing.

"So, ur mother stil ok 2 pik me up ?"

"Yes."

"Wat wil U wear ?"

"Dunno. Probly shirt n tie." A couple of second pass. "U ?"

"Dress."

"Cool."

She lifts her eyes from her phone, and sees him hesitating in front of his own, his thumb suspended above it.

"How is ur day goin ?" She asks

"Gud, I guess." She receives as an answer a few seconds later.

"R U sure ?"

"Y U ask ?"

"U look tired."

She sees him lifting a brow and quickly looking around, missing her.

"Right In front of U."

Lifting his gaze, he finally sees her, and gives her little wave. She can see he's hesitating about coming over.

"Wanna talk about it ?"

"Dunno."

"Wanna text about it ?"

The tod is focused on his phone, hesitating again. Then he seems to come to a decision and starts typing. "I think Judy is upset me."

"Y ?"

"Dunno."

"Wat makes U think she is ?"

"She dont talk 2 me."

"Since wen ?"

"1 week."

The vixen stares at her phone. She doesn't even need the exact day to guess what's going on with the doe. Should she care ? She doesn't know her… But she doesn't really know Gideon either. He's a cute reformed bad boy, and that's enough to make her a little interested.

She types the next text with a sigh. Never let anyone say she's not considerate.

"U try 2 talk 2 her ?"

"No."

"Y ?"

The fox stares at his phone, pondering if he should tell her. "Sharla N Bobby say she need 2 process things."

It makes sense, if the goal is for the doe to get over it.

"Wat do U think ?" The tod asks.

"I dunno." He should talk to her, that's what she thinks. But if there's a remote chance that he has feelings for her, and she admits her own… Well, her own chances are well and truly screwed. But she can't tell him not to talk to her either, they're friends after all, and she never liked the whole concurrence for boys mentality. "Do wat U think is right. It'll be OK." She cringes as she sends the non answer, not really proud of it. And it's made even worse by the next text Gideon sends her.

"Okay. Thx 4 the advice."

When she looks up, she sees the little nod and smile he sends her way.

It's nice, but stirs and unpleasant feeling. Somehow, she thinks she just screwed herself over.

"Come in."

It's not the first time Gideon's called to the principal's office, but it's the first time he's not sure why. He hasn't fought or done anything reprehensible that he can remember.

Judy has been weird around him lately, maybe he did or said something insensitive… But she would tell him, wouldn't she ?

He pushes the door and enters the office where the ram is waiting for him. He's writing something on a file, and doesn't immediately look at the tod. Then, he closes his pencil and neatly slides it to the side.

"Hello Mr Grey. Please, come closer."

The tod does what he's told while trying to keep his expression level.

"I have your grades from this quarter. Now, it isn't definitive, but…" Saying so, principal Woolinsky extends the hoof holding the paper toward the tod. He takes it and starts reading it, his paw becoming more shaky as he does so.

"As you can see, you still have ways to go on some of the topics, but these are still above acceptable, especially considering where you come from."

"I- I'm passin' ?"

The caprine takes the report card back and folds it, sliding it in a folder. "Provided you keep a consistent level… But there's one little snag. You've missed an entire quarter, and though you had an excuse to do so, you still missed way too much classes… However, some of your teachers, your career counselor, as well as a friend of yours have been quite vocal about the fact that you deserved a chance. And I must say that I didn't need much convincing in the matter."

Gideon gives him a perplexed look. He understood that the first missed quarter would prevent him from passing, but the rest about being vocal was a bit hard to follow.

"What I mean, is that Miss Hopps spent about an hour wringing my horns about how good a student you turned into and that I had to give you an exam so that you could get into next year."

The tod's throat suddenly feels incredibly dry. He could pass ? How ? What ? It's… Impossible. But, he'd have to pass exams. Exams ! How could-

"Of course, Miss Hopps assured me that they would be a breeze to you, and that particular student tends not to say things lightly… But you have the right to choose not to take this exam if you don't feel confident in your skills. Given your progress, I would accept that your retake first year once again."

"I'll take the exam. Judy'll ride my ass the whole summer if I don't."

The ram can't help the amused chuckle that escape his throat. "That's probably not how I would have formulated it."

"S-sorry !" Gideon reacts, realising what he just said.

"About what ? I don't remember you saying anything untoward. Given that we need the report card sent by the end of the month, your exams will take place on monday 25th instead of your regular lessons. You will of course be excused from them. I'm sorry to tell you on such short notice, but I have faith in your capabilities."

"O-okay. Thank you sir."

"You're welcome. You can go, now. Have a nice day."

The tod leaves the room a bit confused, and walks to the courtyard to look for Judy, whom he finds sitting on a bench with Bobby and Sharla.

He hesitates to approach her. After all, Bobby and Sharla told her to leave her some space… But he has to talk to her about the exams, she'd want that too. And he'll need her help.

"H-hey." He greets, approaching the three mammals.

"Hey Gideon." Judy greets with a shy smile.

"I got exams to pass."

"End of June ?" She asks.

"The 25th. You knew ?"

"It made sense. Then we have work ahead of us. I hope you're ready to work seriously."

"Because it wasn't serious before ?" He asks in a worried tone.

They've only got three sessions to go over the material from the first quarter again, and Judy would worry about it, if they hadn't already studied it when she was catching him up on his work.

She can see the tod is working hard. In fact, she sometimes catches him mumbling to himself the content of the lessons they're working on.

If someone had told him months ago that Gideon would take schoolwork seriously one day, she would have laughed to their faces.

Now, though, she's glad she would have been wrong.

Still, it's hard to be in his presence when all she can think about is him and the vixen being together. But she can't let him down now, not when he's so close to passing. She'll tell him after the exam. She has to, or she's going to turn crazy.

The sun has disappeared from the sky by now, and the fox is staring at the ceiling. He doesn't need his light to see the rather large beam that goes from one wall to the other. It's an old beam, sturdy. He learned it all to well on a day he felt as worn as today, but also sadder, more depressed. He felt as a monster, as a stranger in his own skin. A part of his subconscious knows it's Judy's presence in his life helped him get away from that path.

And now, it feels they're growing apart, and it hurts. She's his friend, isn't she ? Why is there something wrong between them ? Did he do or say something ?

And that's not the only thing gnawing at his mind. The last talk with Mrs Catmull is also there, nagging him.

He thinks about his future. At the bottomless abyss that has opened in front of him. Getting into Highschool was nightmarish. New mammals, bigger ones. Having to climb the bully ladder, or at least build himself a reputation as a mammal not to be trifled with.

He was in a comfortable spot. Reviled but left alone. Stagnating. Until this day, he had never truly thought about his future.

Going to school, going to work, going home, eating. It was his whole life, nothing would change.

Part of him wants to flunk the exam.

What if he passes ? What then ?

He'll have to question himself : what does he want to do with his life ? Because he certainly doesn't want to live the same one his father did. He already realises how different from him he is, but the simple idea to work the same job as him his whole life…

But what then ?

The sun rises as that same question asks itself again and again.

What then ?